


start again at your beginnings

by PostitBandit



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Angst and Humor, Developing Relationship, Fighting, Inept courting, Kid Fic, M/M, Misunderstandings, Mysterious Liam, POV Zayn, Slow Build, warriors - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-13
Updated: 2014-10-05
Packaged: 2018-02-08 17:02:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 18
Words: 115,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1949190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PostitBandit/pseuds/PostitBandit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When they first meet, Zayn is a warrior in his mother's clan and Liam is a conquered villager. </p>
<p>Liam has an unhappy past and just a few things that he holds dear. Zayn would like nothing more than to learn about that past and welcome Liam into his clan, and into his life, but Liam does not seem keen on sharing anything with Zayn. </p>
<p>At least at first.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from 'If' by Rudyard Kipling (sorry to bring you into RPF buddy...). 
> 
> This idea has just been kicking around my brain for weeks, so I just had to get it down. It is set on some other world and time (because I am lazy and did not want to research anything, or have to make special accommodations for M/M relationships), but I hope it makes sense so far. Totally unbeta-ed, and language consistency? What language consistency? You'll probably find a terrible mash of American and British English, so beware. But, if you are still interested, please venture onwards and let me know what you think :).

Zayn’s mother talked to the assembled villagers as their homes burned behind them. The village was small and the villagers peaceful, but they had certainly put up some sort of ramshackle defense when Trisha rode in with her best warriors. Farmers, most of them. The reason for their current predicament was mainly because the Malik clan needed more warriors and husbands and wives. More people, as it were. 

Luckily, they hadn’t had to kill too many farmers before they had surrendered, looking shocked and bewildered as his mother and her warriors, himself included, had rounded them up to where they were now and torched the houses. They always burned the villages they took – it limited the options of the villagers and made them more inclined to acquiesce. 

Since Zayn had become a warrior in his clan, he had been on several raids. Most of those were for supplies, but some were for people as this one was. In those cases, the speech was always the same. His mother always told them that they had two choices: they could either assimilate into the Malik tribe, or they would be released into the desert alone, far far away from one another to prevent them from regrouping and coming for vengeance. 

Trisha was a good speaker, and despite their glazed uncertainty, everyone looked at her as she said her piece. Everyone always did. 

Which was why the young man caught his interest. Among the scattered villagers, he alone did not look at his mother. He stared straight ahead. And he did not look frightened, or angry, or even in shock. If anything, he looked disappointed. Or perhaps…bored?

Zayn found himself breaking away from his tribesmen and walking towards him. His mother continued on, though he thought he could feel her sharp gaze upon his back for a moment. As he approached, the other villagers backed away and moved right, closer to his mother. His young man, however, stayed put. Zayn stopped about a foot away from the other man. Up close, Zayn could see that he was taller than he had supposed, and had a nice breadth of his shoulders. He wondered, briefly, if this man had been one of those that had fought, or one that had come quietly. 

“What is your name?” Zayn asked. As he had approached, the man’s eyes had focused on Zayn’s face, but otherwise he was unmoved. His eyes were brown, and still on Zayn’s face. Up close, Zayn could say that the look on his face was certainly boredom. He did not answer Zayn. 

“What is your name?” Zayn asked again, more insistently. The other man just looked at him. Curious, Zayn looked back. He was good-looking, this man. Pleasing to look at, and such. So absorbed was Zayn in looking at those nice features, that a slight motion to his left made him jump and reach back for his dagger. He had a vague impression of the man tensing before him before he looked down and saw nervous eyes and messy blonde hair. 

A girl. She looked about seven. Her small hands hugged the man’s knee and she looked at Zayn, afraid but also interested. Zayn removed his hand from his blade and sank to one knee, smiling around a laugh at himself for his imagined fright. 

His mother had finished talking, and now was the part of the play where the villagers would be allowed to talk to each other, and to make their decisions. Zayn noticed a large number of them looked to his young man. Zayn did not look up to see if he returned their looks or gave any signal, but Zayn made a mental note all the same. It was…interesting. 

He kept his eyes on the girl and directed his smile at her. She did not smile back, but Zayn kept his on his face. 

“Hello, love,” he said. She didn’t reply, but she also didn’t move further behind her handsome friend, so with a glance upward, he pushed his luck. 

“I’ve a sister about your age, love. Her name is Safaa. She will be so happy to meet another little girl and be friends. Would you like that?” He watches her look at him. Some of the nervousness has fled from her face, eclipsed by interest. 

“She loves to play in lake near our camp. Do you swim, darling?” She nodded and moved closer. 

“That’s great. Safaa will be so happy, “ he said, grin becoming wry. “She always pouts because I will not swim with her. I’m afraid of water, you see.” He whispered the last. It had the desired effect and she laughed. 

“I know, I know. Grown man like me scared of a little water. I should be ashamed of myself.” He reached for her, to brush her hair out of her face. 

Instead, his hand made contact with a warm thy. The man had moved in front of the girl quickly, a hand on her shoulder. Zayn withdrew his hand, and looked up to catch sight of those eyes again. They were not bored any longer. Irritated, definitely, but not bored. Something reckless in Zayn caused him to smile at the reaction. That same limited sense of life preservation moved him around the man’s legs to find the girl again. She was wary one more, but she gave a small smile at the image he made crawling around the man’s legs on hands and knees. 

“Hello again,” he said cheerily. He saw the man’s fingers curl into his palm to his right, but he continued. 

“Do you think you would like to come with me and meet Safaa and see her lake? Your brother here could come too,” he said. 

“Liam isn’t my brother!” she said, surprised. He pretended to frown and think on that. 

“Oh, no? Pretty girl like you, _Liam_ here must be your man then?” 

“No way!” she laughed. “Liam isn’t my man! He’s too old. He just looks after me is all,” she said, shrugging. She looked up at Liam, and then ducked down to avoid Zayn’s eyes. Huh. He reached for her again, just to touch her nose, make her smile again. A hand on his wrist stopped him. 

“Whoa there, Zayn! What have we here?” The hand around his wrist pulled him to his feet and then let go, allowing its attached arm to wrap around Zayn’s neck in a squeeze. 

“Louis! What are you doing?” he said, turning to his friend. Louis looked at him incredulously. 

“What am I doing? What are you doing? Flirting with little girls when you should be paying attention to the fact that your mother is getting ready to leave. Not to mention that I’m pretty sure that your friend here would have taken your hand off if you had made contact there,” Louis said, with a head tilt in Liam’s direction. Zayn glanced at Liam and found him looking straight ahead again and unclenching his fists, dropping what looked like a small hammer into a pocket once more. 

Ah. So he did fight. Interesting. 

Louis joined him in contemplation of Liam, and he grinned. Zayn knew that grin, unfortunately. It was usually followed by chaos. 

“Louis-“ he started warningly. Louis held up a hand to stop him and immediately began to talk over him. 

“Quite the catch, Zayn. I saw this one in the fray. He’s the one that bloodied Harry’s ear. I believe he hit ole’ Hazza with, well, a shovel, wasn’t it?” he said the last bit to Liam. Liam, who was looking bored again, failed to respond. Louis, if anything, grinned harder. Zayn was quiet, watching it play out. 

Louis removed his arm from Zayn and moved into Liam’s space. He looked him up and down, laughed a little, and walked around him closely, giving the little girl a wink as he did so, before coming back around again. He gave a low whistle and stepped back into Zayn, giving him a nudge with his elbow. 

“I can see why you were interested, mate. He’s a looker. Want me to have him sent to your tent?” he asked, innocently. Zayn balked and Louis cackled. Liam, for his part, looked at Zayn steadily, a small curl of disgust on his lips. 

“We don’t- we don’t do that. He’s joking. My mother would never allow that sort of thing. She doesn’t believe in taking by force,” he said quickly. He could feel heat move into his face and ears. Liam looked at him, and then behind him at the conquered village, and turned to him again, lifting an eyebrow in disbelief. 

Right. Zayn’s ears burned. Louis laughed, the ass. 

“Zayn? What are you doing?” He looked towards the voice and found his mother, looking at him impatiently. Most of the other warriors were packing the stolen product and arranging the people in groups of who would join them and who would be dropped off in the desert along the way. Zayn had noticed the movement in his periphery, but he had been…distracted. 

“Sorry, ma’am. Just been talking.” Trisha cuffed him on the back of the head, and did the same to Louis when he laughed. As Zayn and Louis pouted and did spot-on impressions of naughty boys caught playing instead of seasoned fighters, Trisha looked Liam full in the face. She didn’t smile, and neither did he. 

“What is your profession, young man?” Liam looked at her, and seeing something, he nodded to himself. 

“I work with the horses, ma’am. Breed them and trade them, and get them ready for market. I do leatherwork too.” Zayn looked up at his voice, and told himself that it was stupid to be irritated at his mother for getting Liam to talk when Zayn only seemed to bore him. 

“Useful trades,” she appraised. “And do you have a mate here? A wife perhaps? Or a man?” she asked. 

“No, ma’am. No mate, and no family. I look after Lily here, and some of the young ones when there’s a need, but that’s as far as I have.” Liam replied. She gave Zayn a small look that indicated just how much of their conversation she had heard. He spared an equally small moment to resent her terribly. 

“If I allow you to continue your trade, return you your horses and all, and give you custody of this child - will you join our tribe? Or would you prefer to go to the desert?” Sharp as ever, she had clearly noticed the pull Liam had over the other villagers. She knew it was important that Liam join, and join them willingly and happily at that. She looked at him closely. Liam looked back. 

One of Trisha’s men hailed her from a wagon to let her know that they were ready to go. She turned from Liam to shout back that they would be there shortly, and then turned back to Liam. Liam closed his eyes briefly and reached down to grab Lily’s hand. 

“We will go with you,” he said, eyes open.


	2. Chapter 2

His mother had returned Liam’s horses to him, and he rode astride one with Lily in his lap as the others were tied bridle to bridle behind him. Zayn rode next to Louis, eyes on Liam’s back. 

They were close to their camp – after a month of travelling homewards he could see the smudge of lake growing larger and larger as they travelled. He couldn’t wait to see Safaa and the other girls, and he knew Louis and Harry were excited to see their sisters. It would be good to see Niall too. Niall had fallen from his horse during a hunt and had broken his leg. He had whined terribly when they left him behind, the big baby, Zayn recalled with a smirk. Niall was perhaps the worst raider that Zayn had ever met. He hated violence, and tended to be clumsy with the sword. But he hated being left behind even more. Zayn wondered what he would make of Liam. Liam who seemed distinctly unimpressed by all this. 

“You, my man, have been watching that ass for days! Going to make a move?” Louis asked from beside him, startling him. 

“Shut up, asshole!” he whispered back furiously. He found Liam interesting, that was all. Well, there was no denying that the boy was attractive, and Zayn was only human. But that was all, just a curiosity. An interest, as it were. And he had talked to Liam here and there. Or mainly talked at him, as Liam rarely graced him with responses. He mainly found himself talking to Lily. He enjoyed her company and how much it reminded him of his sisters.

Harry, never one to miss out on a good time, rode up on the other side of Louis. His head was bandaged, and he had a hell of a time hearing out of his left ear since their attack, but his smile was as cheery as ever. 

“Wotcher, Louis, Zayn? What are we whispering about?” Louis smiled at Harry fondly, and Zayn looked mulishly down at his horse, anticipating the direction of the conversation. 

“Oh Haz, we were just talking about Zayn’s young man there, yon Liam. Must be quite the fighter to get the drop on you, Harry.” Harry rubbed his injured ear and frowned briefly, before smiling again, unrepentant. 

“Yep. Took me out with a shovel. I know you saw, Lou, before you got distracted by that flour explosion in the granary. No need to replay my embarrassment at getting my ass handed to me by a farmer.” He reached out to pinch Louis, who slapped his hand away. Harry caught his hand and used it to reel Louis in and lick him on the side of his face. Louis flinched, and Harry laughed and released him. 

“He wasn’t just a farmer though, I’d swear by it,” Harry continued. “He moved too well. Took out a couple of others before he got me. The way Mikey tells it, he could have gone on in his shovel wielding glory, but instead he just stopped. Convinced most of the other fighters to stop too. He’s a good part of the reason why there weren’t that many dead farmers this time around,” he said. 

Huh. This was news to Zayn. His mother hadn’t shared that detail. And Harry’s balance had been off from his ear, and hadn’t been up to riding. This was the first day he had joined them instead of riding behind in one of the carts, looking green in the face. 

“Just Zayn’s type then! A fighter, a smart fighter that is, and a looker to boot. Would you believe, Haz, he hasn’t tried to woo him yet? He’s preferred to, ah, gather evidence from afar?” Louis said, mock-seriously. Harry played along, stroking his chin and looking serious but for the glee in his eyes.

“That’s so unlike our leader’s son, to be quiet and stoic in the face of love. Usually he’s out and about with dramatic gestures and singing sonnets about their muscular thighs and pink nipples,” he said. Louis laughed so hard he almost fell off his horse.

“Nipples!” he gasped out happily. Zayn scowled. He urged his horse to move faster, whipping his head around to glare at the pair of them before heading forward once more. He pretended not to hear the “oooooohs” that followed from behind. Assholes. 

He stopped his forward trot when he reached Liam and Lily. He took a quick look at Liam’s profile – yes, still very lovely – before looking down to Lily. He found her already gazing up at him. She smiled. Now that they seemed to be on the same team, she was no longer afraid of him. No matter that he had destroyed her village and forced some of her people to wander in the desert, or killed some rebels outright. Children were wonderful survivors, he thought. They could adapt to anything.

“Hello, love. I’ve just spotted our lake! Can you see it there, up ahead? Maybe if you look really hard with your eagle eyes you can see Safaa swimming. I think she just dove in! Can you see her?” No doubt bored with the travel, Lily was quick to join in the game. She giggled and nodded. 

“Sure! She’s a good swimmer, Zayn! Is she as fast as a dolphin?” she asked. 

“You bet, darling. And twice as funny looking, if you ask me. But don’t tell her that or she’ll shave my head while I sleep.” She laughed again. He looked up to Liam, to try and catch his eye, but Liam continued to look ahead. He tightened his arm around Lily’s waist and she looked up into his face. He looked down at her with a smile that made Zayn unreasonably envious, and looked forward again. Envy was a bad look on Zayn and made him do terribly stupid things. 

He reached for Lily’s nose, to give it a pinch as he would any of his sisters. Faster than a blink, Liam caught his hand. Lily scooted away from Zayn and into the crook of the arm Liam was using to hold the reins. Liam squeezed his knuckles together, and Zayn did his best not to flinch or pull away. Those eyes were on him again, irritation written all over them. 

“It’d be best if you do not touch what does not belong to you,” Liam said. Zayn pursed his lips together, confused and a little annoyed. 

“She doesn’t belong to you either, mate.” Women were very important in Zayn’s clan. His mother was leader of the clan as a whole, but every woman in the village was in charge of her household. Trisha was especially vindictive when trading with villages that thought she was best suited on her back. 

“I agree. She belongs to no one but herself, clansman. A touch like that may be casual with your people, but in her village that is a serious offence. Only Lily can decide who can share that with her. Your mother seems to be working hard to convince these people to join your clan. How would she like to know that you seem keen to completely disregard their customs?” Liam gave Zayn’s fingers a last tight squeeze before releasing him and curling his arm once more around Lily. She looked at him warily, before breaking into giggles as Liam tickled her waist to distract her. 

Zayn watched them dumbly, curling and uncurling his fingers to regain feeling. So that was at least part of the reason Liam had almost bludgeoned them when they first met. He looked up to find his mother talking near the front with the man they had identified as the village’s second in command. The leader of the village had gone down with the ship, as they say. She kept her hands closely to herself, when she usually chose to hold hands as she spoke to other chieftans. Damn it. Had he really been so self-absorbed that he hadn’t noticed such a large thing? His mother, smart as she was, never required that newcomers immediately drop all traditions once they joined the Malik tribe, avoiding dissent. 

He looked back to Lily. She was looking at him again. He pulled a face and she smiled. Children. 

“I’m sorry Lily. I won’t try to touch you again, love. I was only teasing. I love to tease my sisters and you remind me so much of Safaa that I was not thinking properly,” he said. “Will you ever forgive me?” he said, piteously, making a terribly silly face. She hid her smile with her hand and pretended to think about it. 

“Hmmm…” she hummed. He pretended to cry, making a fool of himself, no doubt, but she laughed. It was always wise to keep the women of his village happy. This little one may be running his life one day as chieftan. You never knew. And he felt like a right berk for making her upset, so that was that. 

“Please, Lily? Forgive me?” he asked, breaking the charade to ask her seriously. She nodded. 

“It’s okay, Zayn. Liam says there are a lot of dumb people in the world that aren’t mean they just don’t know any better until someone teaches them better,” she said piously. Zayn looked up and met Liam’s look. Liam raised an eyebrow, daring him to disagree, and Zayn laughed and reached out to give him a light shove. And then choked and whipped his hand back.

“Goddamn it! I’m such an idiot! I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to touch you after you pretty explicitly told me not to touch any of you without permission,” he said. He really was a fucking moron. No wonder Liam bored of him. 

“You swore!” Lily interrupted happily. Liam rolled his eyes at her and she laughed, and then Liam caught his flailing hand. 

“It’s okay, really. I don’t follow most of the traditions that the villagers keep. I only moved into that village about four years ago,” he said. Zayn blew out a long breath in relief and Liam released him. But, wait-

“Where did you come from?” he asked. Liam was certainly different than any other villager he’d encountered. Liam shrugged. 

“Doesn’t matter,” he said. 

“If it doesn’t matter than why can’t you tell me?” Zayn pushed. Liam turned to him and smiled vapidly. 

“I came from somewhere else,” he said. Zayn looked away. They were now only five hundred feet away from his village. He could see the movement of men in the watchtowers, and their calls to each other that indicated that Trisha’s banners had been spotted. There would be time later to pick through Liam’s brain.

“Fine, Liam, keep your secrets. Bye for now, Lily!” she waved goodbye and Liam turned front again, seeing what Zayn had, no doubt. He moved forward until he pulled alongside his mother. Trisha turned to dismiss the villager, who rode back to meet with his family, and then turned to Zayn. 

“I was thinking of asking Niall to take in Liam and Lily,” she said, unprompted. 

“What? Why? I thought-” he started.

“I know we typically place new families in their own tents. But those tents are usually small, and Liam will need space for his operation. Besides, Niall has been alone since Josh moved in with Mara. Company suits that one. Besides, Liam is a horseman, and Niall has been shaken up about the beasts since his accident. It will be good for him to learn to ride again,” she said. 

“You’ve been thinking about this a lot”, he said, considering. 

“Certainly, Zayn. And don’t think I’ve missed that your young man is a bit different than his fellows, and that they seem to look to him. I think it would be best if we had another set of eyes on him as he settles into clan life,” she said. She gave him a look and he nodded, grudgingly.

“He is different, I’ll grant you that,” he said, mayhaps a touch too wistfully as she looked at him keenly and started to grin. 

“And you know, Zayn, with him living at Niall’s you’ll have the perfect excuse to drop in as often as you like, and get to understand him better,” she said, smiling evilly. 

“Mom!” he said hotly. Gods above strike him down if she furthered the conversation into sex or, gods forbid, wooing. “I barely know him at all.”

“I asked your father for his permission for courtship after I had known him but three days. So handsome he was at the market in Sevarre,” she said, reminiscing, her eyes far away. Zayn snorted and shook his head. His parents were still so in love. He had heard the story of their meeting and courtship at least a thousand times, if not more. 

“Oh look, our clan,” he said, cutting off the conversation. Trisha gave him a glance that said she knew exactly what he was doing, but that she would permit it just this once. A crowd was gathering, now just a hundred feet away. 

“I’m going to ride ahead to let them know what the new clansmen will need and to gather volunteers for setting up tents and distributing goods. As that’s settled, you can organize a hunt. Hopefully there will be plenty of erdu on the other side of the lake. I’m sure our travelers are hungry for some fresh and fatty game,” she said. Zayn nodded in understanding, and she continued. “I’ll also talk to Niall about Liam. I have no doubt he will welcome the company, but I will not force the issue if it makes him uncomfortable.” Zayn could not help but to look back at Liam quickly. Liam was looking ahead at the gathering commotion, but his head was bowed to Lily’s ear and he seemed to be whispering things that made her laugh. He turned back to his mother. 

“Alright then. We will see you there shortly,” he said. She caught the eye of her captain, Aron, and called him over to explain, and then she was off, galloping across the sand. He could not see, but he did not doubt that she was smiling like a young girl as she rode. One of the reasons that his mother was chieftan was due to the fact that she was the best rider in the village. As leader, she had little opportunity to indulge herself in the ride as she once had, so when such an opportunity appeared she was want to squander it. 

All too soon he saw her reach her destination and dismount smoothly. She was embraced by a running figure – Zayn’s father, no doubt – but soon she was moving forward again and people began to move quickly, preparing for the arrival. Zayn breathed out, and felt the presence of his friends ride up alongside him. 

“Home again!” Louis whooped. Harry and Zayn smiled. Zayn itched with the need to gallop off after his mother and get there faster, sooner, but obligation kept his pace steady and easy. 

“Now, if only Liam would let you fuck him-”

“Harry!”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As a heads up, one of my background pairings is Louis/Eleanor. I know that's not everyone's cup of tea for fanfic :).
> 
> Otherwise, thank you for reading and your encouragement to continue. I hope you like this chapter!

The clansmen greeted their old friends and their new members happily. New blood in the village was good for everyone. In addition, the hunt had been successful and most of the tents were up and ready. Soon there would be a feast and dancing. 

After the hunt, Zayn stopped by to see his sisters. He had only been gone two months, but already Safaa and Waliyha were looking bigger, and Doniya was looking sharper around the eyes. 

True to his word, he told Safaa that there was another little girl his age joining the clan. As expected, she had been wonderfully excited and asked to meet her right away. Zayn, already interested how the duo was getting along with Niall, was quick to encourage her and soon they were walking towards Niall’s tent. 

Niall’s family was taken in a raid almost thirty years ago when they were ruled by Zayn’s grandmother, and Niall himself was born into the clan. His mother died during childbirth, which was all too common, and his father had died in a raid when Niall was young. His older brother, Greg, lived with his wife and babe in a different tent. After Greg left, his friend Josh had joined him there for a few years, but he too had left after finding Mara. All that remained for Niall was a too large tent and many evenings where Harry, Louis, and Zayn would pile in to share a meal and keep company. Zayn knew that Niall was lonely. Hopefully his mother was right and Liam and Lily would provide just the company he needed. 

All too soon, he made it to the larger tent. He could hear laughter and a playful argument inside. He looked to Lily. 

“Ready?” he asked. She nodded. He reached out and lifted the tent flap aside and gently pushed Safaa in front of him. Niall and Liam were standing in the living area and smiling at each other, and Lily was curled up on a cushion looking sleepy. When they saw Zayn, Niall’s smile grew while Liam’s slipped off his face, and Lily sat up curiously. 

“Niall!” he said, embracing the other man. Niall’s brace was off of his leg, and he looked to have good color. 

“Zayn! It’s good to see you! I understand you had to see to the hunt and to your girls, but don’t I deserve a hello as soon as possible?” he joked, squeezing Zayn tight before letting him go with a laugh. 

“I just figured you would be busy with your new guests…?” he trailed off. Not one to be ignored, Safaa interrupted their reunion by dropping Zayn’s hand and marching over to Lily. 

“Hello! My name is Safaa. Zayn says your name is Lily. Do you want to play Rubbe outside with me?” Safaa pulled out the brightly colored cloth balls from her pocket. Lily looked at her, and frowned, upset. 

“I don’t know how to play,” she said. 

“Oh it’s easy! I can teach you,” Safaa said eagerly. Still shy, Lily looked to Liam. He gave her a small smile. 

“Go on, Lily. Be a good girl and have fun,” he said, making shooing gestures with his hands. She turned back to Safaa. 

“Okay,” she said. Safaa waited patiently for her to rise and then the pair of them ran out of the tent. Zayn watched them disappear around the tent flap, and then turned to Niall again. Liam turned to Niall as well. 

“Ah well, guess I shouldn’t be too surprised that one is more interested in Safaa than in another smelly adult like me,” Niall said. Liam shook his head. 

“It’s been a long time since she has had anyone her age to play with. She doesn’t get on with the other village girls, for whatever reason. It is good for her to make friends,” Liam said. 

That was curious. Lily was clearly bright and silly. He wondered why she had problems with the other girls. He looked at Liam closely, but Liam only looked at Niall. 

“What were you speaking of when we arrived?” Zayn asked, turning the conversation. 

“Ah, right,” Niall winced. Liam smirked, and Zayn raised an eyebrow in further question. “Apparently your mother, in her infinite wisdom, decided that Liam here should reacquaint me with the ruddy beasts that broke my leg. Horses. Pah,” he said. Zayn nodded. 

“Well, if you plan on even hunting again,” or raiding, he added silently with a quick look up at Liam, “you’ll need to ride. I’m sure Liam can find you a fat, simple pony that even you can ride,” he said, laughing at the look of indignation of Niall’s face.  
Liam, however, shook his head, looking serious. 

“I’m afraid that I can’t do that for you. All of my horses are smart as a whip and devious. You’ll need to learn to be on your guard at all times. Last year one of my yearlings almost pulled me into the river at Asbos and nearly drowned me. Strong as an ox, he was,” he said. Niall had grown pale at this announcement, but Liam continued onwards, seemingly unaware. 

“Sure, and the year before, one of my mares took a bite,” he made a ‘bite’ gesture with his hand that had Niall recoiling, “right out of my leg,” he said. Without further preamble, he pulled down the waistband of the loose pants he wore to reveal very beautiful hips, a loincloth that Zayn was in no way inspecting, and a large scar on his upper right thy. A scar that was clearly left by a dog or wolf, not by an herbivore. Niall, too far gone in his fright, did not notice the obvious and gasped instead at the scar and reached out to trace it with his fingers. Zayn was not jealous. 

He looked at Liam’s face and laughed outright at the mischief he found there. Niall, gods help him, actually jumped at the noise. Liam pulled up his pants and gave Niall a wink. Niall blinked stupidly back at him for a moment, before putting it together and punching Liam in the chest, scowling.

“You are an ass!” he shouted, rubbing his fist.

“Sorry, mate. I couldn’t resist,” Liam said, eyes squinting as his cheeks pulled up in a broad smile. Zayn laughed again and Niall, far too good-natured and appreciative of a good joke, soon joined in begrudgingly.

“Fine, fine. You’d better find me the nicest, happiest, most patient beast in the world after that. I think you just took about ten years off of my life!” Liam laughed. Zayn, helpless, watched him. He really was unfairly good looking. And a good protector, and funny, and liked people as long as they were not Zayn. Zayn looked away. 

“Louis is going to love you!” Niall said, “That one is always up for a bit of fun at another’s expense.” Liam’s smile twisted and Zayn felt his stomach drop. Crap. 

“We’ve met,” Liam said wryly. Zayn did not look up to see if Liam leveled a look his way. 

“Oh brilliant! So you must already be fast friends!” Niall said cheerily. Zayn took up a tankard of water lying on a nearby cushion and decided to take a long drink to distract himself. 

“He seemed under the impression that I was a sex slave,” Liam said bluntly. Zayn choked on his water, spilling it down his front and coughing wildly until his eyes began to tear. Niall’s jaw dropped. 

“Wh-what?” Niall spluttered. 

“A misunderstanding, er, a joke,” Zayn interrupted quickly, still wheezing. 

“Was it?” Liam asked innocently, though his eyes said a different story. 

“I think some explanation is in order, lads, if you don’t mind,” Niall said, still gawping. Zayn opened his mouth to explain before Liam could cause further damage, but he was interrupted by the sound of a horn. 

The feast was ready. 

Niall’s concern shifted to pleasure in a second, all else forgotten with the prospect of food and drink and dancing ahead. 

“Let’s go lads! I’ve been smelling roast erdu and pineberry wine for hours. I’m just about starved,” he started for the tent flap. The horn sounded again, louder this time.

Suddenly, a shrill scream sounded from outside and ended in a sob. Liam bolted past them and out the front before Zayn could catch him. Zayn and Niall spared each other a bewildered look, before following him out. 

Outside, Zayn found Safaa looking upset, and Liam curled tightly around Lily, whispering in her ear quickly as she cried. 

“Safaa, what happened?” he asked. She looked close to tears herself.

“I don’t know! She heard the horn and her eyes, oh Zayn, they were so scared! When the horn came again she screamed and started to cry. Zayn, is she okay? Does she not like me?” Zayn hushed her, before scooping her into his arms.

“I’ve never heard such nonsense. Who wouldn’t like you, Miss Safaa, the bravest girl and best rider in the desert!” he teased. She gave him a weak approximation of her usual smile, and Zayn gave her a twirl for being so good. He then handed her to Niall, who groaned and pretended that she was as heavy as an ox just to make her laugh. Niall was always good with the children. 

“Can you take her to the feast?” Zayn asked. Niall nodded. “And the rest of you,” he said to the crowd of curious and concerned onlookers that had begun to gather, “you can go on ahead too, please.” Caught out, the onlookers bashfully disassembled and followed Niall towards the center of camp. 

Steeling himself, he looked back to Liam. Lily had started to calm down and shed no more fresh tears. She only looked tired and haggard in a way that was awful on features so young. 

“Liam?” he said. Liam’s shoulders tensed as if he was unaware of Zayn until he spoke. 

“Zayn? Is that you?” Lily asked, twisting in Liam’s tight grasp to look at him. He crouched down to meet her eyes. 

“Hello, love. Are you alright? Gave Safaa and Niall and I a bit of a fright,” he said. She nodded, and bent her head into Liam’s neck to wipe off her tears. 

“I’m sorry, Zayn. I didn’t mean to scare you,” she said. 

“It’s okay, love. Besides,” he leaned in to whisper conspiratorially, “doesn’t take much to scare our Niall. He’s even afraid of mice, did you know?” He gave Niall a mental apology, but appreciated the smile Lily gave him all the same. 

“Really?” she asked. 

“Oh certainly. Afraid of mice, snakes, and even horses, he is. Lots of silly stuff,” he said. She giggled. 

“Are you ready for the feast, sweetheart?” Liam interrupted. She turned to him once more. 

“Will there be sweets there?” she asked. Zayn grinned. 

“You bet, darling. My friend Harry is a wonderful sweet-maker. Last year, our friend Louis ate so many that he was ill and could not go on the hunt the next day,” he said, shaking his head at the memory. Louis had missed the hunt, and had later thrown up all over Eleanor’s best boots, for which she blackened his eye. 

“Okay then, Liam. We can go,” she said. He nodded seriously at her, and Zayn had no doubt that if she had not felt like going to the feast, Liam would have skipped it and incurred his mother’s irritation in a heartbeat. 

At once, Liam rose and swung Lily up with his arms, throwing her over his shoulder like a sack of grain. She laughed, effectively distracted from her earlier fright. 

“Liam?” Zayn asked again, as they began walking together towards the feast. Liam sighed. 

“It was the horns. I did a good job of covering her ears when your people called to each other at the gate, but I did not expect them inside the gate,” Liam said. Zayn frowned, confused. 

“What do you mean, the horns?” he said. Liam looked at him. 

“When your warriors approached came to us, you sounded the horns for days as you encircled the village. They sounded when you took down a guard post, and when you made position. And you used them again to herald your arrival on the day you actually took the village,” Liam said. He paused, grabbing Zayn’s wrist tightly. “Now, Lily may seem adept at change and willing to let you into her life, but she has not forgotten that her home is gone and that it was you that took it from her. You are nice to her, and she seems to want to forget your involvement, but she will never forget those horns,” he said, releasing Zayn at last. Zayn stared. 

Did the other villagers hide their feelings so well that he had never considered the possibility of lasting damage? Or was he really so blind to others around him that he hadn’t noticed? And why did Liam always make him feel so stupid and stumbling?

“I’m…sorry,” he said at last, “I should have thought of that and warned you that they would announce the feast in that way.

“You didn’t know,” Liam sighed. They continued the rest of the way in silence. 

Luckily, the fire pit was not so far from Niall’s tent, and they arrived shortly. 

“You two best find plates over there,” Zayn said, pointing towards where Niall was filling his plate with all sorts of good things laid out on a long table. Liam swung Lily onto her feet once more and she took his hand. 

“I’m hungry! Are the sweets out yet, Zayn?” she asked. He laughed. She and Louis would be thick as thieves if Liam would ever allow it. 

“Probably, love. Just be sure not to make yourself sick,” he said. He turned to Liam. “Did Niall tell you about the painting ceremony tonight?” he asked. All newcomers were welcomed into the tribe by being painted with the Malik colors. Zayn said a brief prayer of thanks that they had not attacked their village in their colors as he had heard other tribes do. Instead, their colors were worn only in ceremonies and feast days. Usually, old tribesmen would welcome the new by painting them, but due to the villagers’ cultural beliefs about touching, they would apply their paint themselves. The design didn’t matter, in any case. It was the paint that was sacred, and the act of putting it on another’s skin with care that gave it strength. 

“He did,” Liam said, saving Zayn from having to explain. 

“It will start after everyone has eaten and my mother has welcomed you. After the painting, there will be dancing and singing, and then Niall will walk you back to your tent,” he said. Liam nodded, and then tugged Lily’s hand towards the food. 

“Say goodbye to Zayn, Lily,” he said, already looking forward and away from Zayn. Zayn refused to be irritated. 

“Goodbye Zayn! See you later!” she called back to him as Liam pulled her away. 

“Save a dance for me, love!” he called back. She smiled and turned away. Liam did not react at all. Zayn sighed. 

“What’s this? What’s got you all mopey?” Louis’ voice said into his ear while a warm hand clapped onto his back and made him stumble forward a step. 

“Nothing. Did you grab me a plate?” Zayn asked, righting himself. 

“You know I always do. Got to grab the best cuts for my friend in case he accidentally sleeps through the feast,” he said with a wink. Zayn rolled his eyes. Man does something one time and they never let you forget it. “Harry’s got it and he should be arriving any moment now. Oh! There he is! Hazza!” he called out towards Harry as their lanky friend eased himself through the crowd while holding two full plates. Soon, he reached them, brandishing Zayn’s plate with a flourish. 

“Your meal, my liege,” he said with a smile. Zayn, playing along, bowed graciously and took the food. 

“My many royal thanks, peon,” he said. Harry smiled.

“What’s the news then?” Harry asked as they tried to move closer to a seat around the fire and eat at the same time. 

“Nothing, nothing. My girls are well. Eleanor even let me kiss her hello after our return from the raid. And Zayn here arrived with Liam and child before letting him go to the plates alone while he stared after him with cow-eyes,” Louis reported sharply. 

“I did no such thing,” Zayn said fiercely. 

“Did so, saw it myself,” Louis said, before taking a huge bite of bread and meat and smiling at him through it.

“Ugh,” said Zayn, turning away. 

“Ah, the great Zayn cow-eyes. Previously seen on such adventures as ‘Perrie’ and ‘Ra-‘” Harry began. 

“You two are awful,” Zayn said, though his eyes sought out Liam and Lily again, unbidden. Liam had Lily on his shoulders, and was passing tidbits up for her to sample, and finishing what she passed back in dislike. Niall, in his easy way, had one hand on Liam’s back as he chatted to the pair and stuffed his face. Niall would not leave the food tables until his mother insisted by calling everyone to the circle. Zayn looked away. 

“Oh shit!” Louis said suddenly, using his free hand to hit himself on the head. 

“What is it?” said Zayn. Louis grimaced. 

“Don’t be angry, but your mother said to go to her as soon as you had a plate. Something important, I gather. Sorry, I totally forgot when I saw you with Liam,” he said. Zayn glared at his friend, unimpressed. 

“You mean when you saw the opportunity to tease me about Liam,” he said. Louis shrugged, unrepentant. “And now she just thinks that I’ve been gossiping with you assholes instead of doing my job, awesome mate. Thanks. I’ll see you,” he said, seeking out his mother in the crowd. She was seated on the Mother’s chair, of course, and she caught his eyes easily. She beckoned him over. 

“So testy you are, just a little mix up, nothing to pout about,” he heard Louis say behind him, but he was already moving towards Trisha. She had that effect on people. 

“Mother,” he said upon reaching her. He bowed and touched his brow in very real respect as she sat in that chair, nothing like his play with Harry earlier. She acknowledged his gesture and signaled that he should take the seat between her and Waliyha. He sat, giving his sister a nudge that she barely returned before going back to her plate.

“You are ready to help with the painting?” she asked. As her eldest children, it was Zayn and Doniya’s responsibility to hand out the sacred paint. After a usual raid, they would be the first to select partners from the newcomers to paint and be painted by. Because of the unusual nature of these villagers, Zayn and Doniya would start the ceremony by painting each other. Trisha had explained all this earlier, when Zayn had returned with the hunt. 

“Yes, ma’am,” he said. He could see the large tankards of paint behind the Mother’s chair. Safaa and Waliyha would hand out bowls among the villagers, and he and Doniya would use the tankards to fill them. 

“And have you thought any more about what we spoke of before we came home?” she asked. He looked at her in askance.

“What we spoke of?” he asked. She leaned towards him and spoke in a low voice. 

“Are you going to put forth a claim tonight?” she asked. He looked at her blankly. Feast days were also popular as they were the only times during the year that men and women could put forth official claims of courtship that would be respected by the whole clan - if it were accepted, of course. A friend or family member that found the courter unsuitable could challenge a request and a fight for permission would ensue. But if a courtship was won and accepted, no others could intervene with the courtship until it dissolved or until it ended in partnering. Claiming, and other announcements, usually happened after painting and before the dancing began. 

But Zayn had no one in mind for a claim. Who was his mother thinking of? Unless…

“What?” he said again, dearly hoping he was wrong.

“Your young man! Liam!” she said exasperated. “Are you going to claim him for courtship?” 

“No! Of course not,” he said quickly. He was never wrong about such things, why did he even bother to hope. His mother had clued into his interest like a bear onto honey. She looked at him bewildered, before shrugging and leaning back into her chair. Her eyes found Zayn’s father Yaser by the meat table, adjusting the plates here and there, and putting aside the trash to be burned or buried later. She looked at Zayn again, eyes soft.

“I apologize. I misunderstood. I thought you were just playing shy before,” she looked at him steadily, and he did his best not to fidget. She turned from him again and signaled to Yaser and the other dawdlers that they should join the circle. Once they had been seated, she clapped her hands together five times and stood to call attention to herself. The surrounding chatter died away. 

“Good feasting, my friends!” she called out into the still air. 

“Good feasting!” her clansmen returned the greeting, Zayn raising his voice to the call as well. 

“Today we feast in celebration of the new faces among us. Look to them now, as they may one day be your husbands, your wives, your teachers, your warriors, and certainly your friends,” she said, pausing for her tribesmen to look around and acknowledge the new people around the fire. As has been his habit of late, Zayn’s own eyes went to Liam. Liam looked straight at Trisha and did not notice Zayn. Zayn looked away and around the circle instead, assessing the faces he saw there. Some were blank, still confused about their journey to this moment in time, but others were excited and nervous. His mother continued. 

“As part of our tradition, we use paint to symbolize acceptance into the clan. This paint is made from flowers that grow by the sacred spring in Etho, and is very special to my people. We refrain from wasting this resource, so please use all of the paint delivered to you. My children, who you see next to me, will help me in demonstrating this ceremony,” she said with a nod to Zayn and his sisters. He stood with Doniya and took a tankard, listening with half an ear as his mother explained the significance of Etho and the importance of the ritual in their customs. He followed Safaa as she carried bowls into the crowds, filling them each with a small amount of the blue paint. When he arrived before Liam, he smiled and gave Lily a wink before pouring their portion and moving on. 

At last the bowls were distributed and filled, and his mother finished her speech. He took the last bowl he filled with him to the front of the circle near his mother and coated his hands. Doniya, across from him, did the same. She reached for him first, as was her right as a Malik woman, and painted a thick stripe down his face, and then thinner markings across his chest. She added to her design until satisfied, and then brought her hands to her sides so he could begin. 

He covered her eyes with the paint in a mask, and then her lips and neck, before striping his fingers down her arms to encircle her wrists. He added dots between her fingers, and knelt to give her dots along her toes as well and up her foot to stop at her ankle. Satisfied, he stepped back, and they bowed to each other before rejoining their places in the circle. 

Zayn watched then as his people, new and old, paired off. He watched his mother and father smile as they painted each other, and turned his eyes to Liam and Lily. Liam had removed his tunic and his chest was bare for painting, and for admiring. It was a strong chest, and Zayn spared an inane thought about how he wished he were closer to it. And then Liam twisted to grab the paint bowl and Zayn sucked in a breath hard. 

Liam’s back was covered in scars. It was clear that he had known a whipping once, and a bad one at that. The back moved out of sight and Zayn moved his eyes to Liam’s face, assuming he had been caught, but no, he simply was moving back into place across from Lily to place the bowl between them. Where the hell had he been given those markings? “Somewhere else,” Liam had told him. Indeed. With those markings he could be a criminal or worse. Zayn stiffened, watching them. 

The prospective criminal hunkered forward to help Lily reach his face and she knelt to give herself the right angle. She looked at him critically, reached into the paint, and printed her hand on his left cheek. Liam smiled, but she kept her face serious as she printed her hand on his right as well. She then directed that he move his face up, and she painted sloppily over his chest, paying special attention to a sun over his heart. When finished, she clearly instructed that he turn around to present his back, and Liam obeyed immediately without quarrel. Lily began to paint over Liam’s scars without further ado. It was obviously not the first time that she had seen them. 

To so easily remove his shirt and show his scars, he would either have to be stupid or uncaring if he were actually a criminal that could be reported to the citadel guard at the market, and Zayn doubted very much that Liam would do something so reckless that would cause him to be separated from his charge. Mayhaps not a criminal, he thought, relaxing. Just an enigma. 

As Zayn watched, Lily finished her work and presented herself to Liam. He dipped his fingers in the paint, and touched them to her brow, before striping her cheeks like whiskers. As he moved his hands to her arms, Zayn found his breath caught on the gentle way that he touched her, as if she were the most precious thing in his life. He felt like an invader to the scene and turned away, only to find his parents watching him with identical interested expressions. He turned from them too, unwilling to explain himself. He returned his eyes to his plate instead, finishing his meal while it was still hot as he waited for the rest of the tribesmen to complete their painting. 

He did not have to wait long. His mother clapped for attention once more and all eyes turned towards her again. 

“Thank you for allowing us to welcome you into our clan. Please continue to eat and be well during our feast. But before I call our musicians forward, would anyone like to make a claim of courtship?” she asked. 

“I would!” a woman’s voice called out quickly. Zayn knew that voice – it was Eleanor! He found her in the circle as she rose to stand, looking proud and certain. She stepped before Trisha and bowed. 

“Eleanor, what great news! For whom would you like to put forth a claim?” Trisha asked. 

“I would request claim of courtship for Louis!” Eleanor said loudly. Zayn looked to where Louis sat in the crowd. His mouth was open and full of half-chewed dinner. He looked stunned. Harry, beside him, laughed and elbowed his friend in the side. When that didn’t work, he pinched him hard on the bottom, and Louis shot up with a start and a yelp, dropping his plate with a thud against the ground. Harry was shaking in silent laughter, tears of amusement running down his face. Zayn laughed too – it was probably far beyond any of Louis’ hopes and dreams that Eleanor would actually be serious about him. 

“Really?” Louis croaked, far different that his usual gregarious self. Eleanor scoffed. 

“No, I just enjoy announcing by desire for you in front of everyone because I secretly hate you. Of course, really!” she called back. Now more people joined in on the laughter, including Trisha beside him. She allowed it for a moment, and then reined it in with a hand asking for silence. His mother took claiming quite seriously. 

“Louis, do you accept this claim?” Trisha asked. 

“Of course I bloody do, have you seen her?” Louis asked, still dazed. The laughter started again, and this time Trisha allowed it to meet its natural end. 

“Then you may come forward to meet your courtier,” Trisha said. With another sharp poke from Harry around his shins, Louis stumbled forward through the crowd to meet Eleanor in the center. They smiled hugely at each other. 

“Are there any objections to this courtship?” Trisha asked. Silence. “Very well, you may bow to each other in acceptance of this courtship.” They bowed, and then surged forward and embraced tightly. Zayn grinned and met Harry’s eyes. They were both happy for their friend. The assembled crowd clapped and hollered their appreciation of the pair. Soon, they moved apart from each other and Eleanor led Louis by the hand to the outskirts of the circle and pulled him down to sit with her. 

“Very good, a happy courtship is a blessing upon this ceremony. Thank you Eleanor. Now, are there any other claims or announcements?” The tribesmen looked between them, but none came forward. 

“Very well. Friends! Please come forward if you have volunteered to provide music this evening. Otherwise, finish your meals and then join us in dance!”


	4. Chapter 4

Zayn watched Louis and Eleanor play in the lake under the guise of fishing for the night’s meal. It had been over a month since their claim had been recognized, and longer still since they first came to flirt with one another, but they still acted as if they only had eyes for each other. Louis still sometimes looked at Eleanor in disbelief, as if completely surprised that she had chosen him. Zayn sighed. It would be completely adorable if it were not also completely annoying. 

“Oi!” Zayn called, startling them out of their reverie. “You lot were supposed to meet me by my tent ages ago. What happened to buying Eleanor a new horse?” he asked, impatient. They blinked over at him, the days plans clearly gone from their minds, before Eleanor’s mouth opened in an ‘o’ of remembrance. 

“Oh no! Was that today?” she asked, scrambling upwards. Louis copied her and stood, but still looked a little sun stupid. “Louis!” she said, looking at him, “Niall told us to come by today to look at the mare that Liam thought would be a good hunting horse. Do you remember?” Louis’ grimace told them that he had. 

“Oh shit. I’m sorry. Do you suppose he might still show her to us if we come by now?” he asked. 

“Well, he certainly won’t welcome you half-dressed and wet,” said Zayn. Louis looked down at himself and up again. 

“Why not? I think we look rather fetching. Especially m’lady here,” Louis said, grabbing Eleanor around the waist as she laughed. Zayn pretended to retch and she laughed harder. 

“Do you want it or not? I already asked Safaa to run over there to ask if you could come later. If you don’t want to see her I need to have Safaa run back and tell them,” he said, impatient. Louis looked at his serious face and whistled. 

“Well, well. Someone doesn’t want to give Liam a bad impression, does he?” he said, smiling that obnoxious grin he saved for the worst occasions. 

“Shut up, Louis,” he said forcefully. “It’s bad manners to be late for anyone.”

“Sure it is. And you’ve always been a good boy with good manners. Never slept through a feast or ditched his training,” Louis said slyly. Zayn looked away, frowning. 

He couldn’t deny it, not really. While he was not stupid enough to really offend his mother, he had often been late to important meetings or impolite to people he didn’t like at the market. As a son, he could get away with such things. To an extent. 

“Easy there, Louis. Zayn’s got the right of it. And I do need a horse. I think we’d all rather buy from Liam than go to the market. Much more convenient,” Eleanor said, saving Zayn. She peeled away from Louis and began to scrub herself dry with Louis’ shirt before pulling on her own garments quickly. “Besides,” she said, wringing her wet hair dry, “I might even have money leftover to buy some of Harry’s sweets.” She looked at Louis innocently, and he smiled back, finally interested in the proceedings. 

“You think so?” He said slowly, onto her game but moving out of the water and onto the beach at last. She ducked her head to hide a smile. 

“I do, in fact. But I definitely won’t if we have to go to Sevarre. I’d need money for the bribe to get into the city, and more money for the greedy bastards that sell the beasts, and then more money for lodging…” she trailed off. Louis shook his head, knowing he was being played, but willing at last to play along. 

“Sure. Best get my kit on,” he said. He reached for his shirt and pulled it over his head, grimacing at the cold wet cloth, and then moved to pull on his pants and boots. 

Soon, they were ready to go, if not entirely presentable, but Zayn was willing to cut a few corners in the interest of time. He started up the path quickly to Niall’s tent. His friends caught up to his fast pace, and Eleanor took his arm as they walked. 

“So, how did you come to be middle man in this whole exchange? Niall didn’t mention that you were involved. Did you buy a horse from Liam also?” she asked. He looked at her, suspicious. 

“No. I was just at the tent when you came to visit Niall. You were telling him how you were thinking of travelling to Sevarre to find a horse after your last one went lame, and he told you that Liam might have just the thing and to come visit on the moon-day, today,” he said slowly. There was no way she didn’t remember. Liam had walked in for a moment to find something while Zayn was pouring tea and Zayn had been so distracted the cup had overflowed and spilled into his lap. He winced at the memory. 

“Oh, yes, I remember now,” she said, looking pleased. “Liam was busy that day cleaning the skins you had brought over, was that right?” she asked. 

“Yes,” he said, still wary. This was also known to her. Animal skins from hunts were always distributed evenly to the leather workers. And if the workers did their own hunting to further their stock, they would give their meat to the hunters. 

And if Zayn was always the hunter to bring skins to Liam’s door, well, that was no one’s business but his own. 

“But why were you messenger boy today?” Louis asked from his other side. Zayn didn’t look at him.

“I was over yesterday with Safaa,” he said, quickening his pace. “She’s made a fast friendship with Lily and I escorted her over.”

“Uh huh. Because your sister is so feeble as to not remember the way to her Uncle Niall’s tent?” Louis asked. Zayn continued to not look at him, watching instead as his feet moved over the roots and rocks that would gave way to sand once they were far enough away from the lake. 

“No,” he said stiffly. “I came to share the meal with Niall and Liam as well. The traveling merchant that came to my mother’s tent last week brought colat, you know, that sweet bean? I know Niall likes it, and I thought Liam and Lily might like to try it if they had not tasted it before,” he said, feeling the burn of Louis’ stare on his face. “And besides, Safaa wanted to go swimming and you know I hate for her to go by herself in case something were to happen,” he continued, desperately. 

“Still trying to figure out where that boy’s from, aren’t you?” Louis asked, seeing to the heart of the matter far too quickly. “Testing him with different tastes and trifles to see what he knows. Here, Liam, oh baby, please try some of this colat straight from my fingers, it tastes the best that way. Colat is best served with. With,” Louis stopped in his tracks, and Zayn and Eleanor turned to face him. His face contorted in rage. “Colat? You had colat and your first thought was not to immediately share it with me? Colat! You heartless bastard!” he cried. Zayn grinned. 

“Sorry, mate, guess I forgot,” Zayn shrugged. 

“Forgot? How could you forget that I would want some colat? You are a terrible friend,” he said sulkily before storming ahead of them like a small child. Zayn and Eleanor shared a smile. Zayn had of course saved some of the special treat for his friend, he was just waiting it for the right moment to deliver it to him. He carefully pulled out the beans from his pocket to show Eleanor and she gasped in surprise, before laughing quietly. 

“You are a devil,” she said, shaking her head. Up ahead, Louis was still grumbling and gesturing to himself. 

“Can’t be helped,” he said. 

“But really, Zayn, you have been to visit often then?” she asked. Ah. So not completely out of the fire then. 

“Here and there, I guess,” he said, ducking her gaze. He had been by often. He told himself at first that he was keeping an eye on Liam. Liam who left far too many questions unanswered. And maybe that was still part of it. 

But, honestly, he just found Liam interesting. And a challenge. He liked it when he learned something new about him, or probed Liam into talking to him. He liked watching Liam work his craft or mind his horses, and he had wormed himself into an invite given to Safaa more times than he would care to admit in order to see him. Safaa, the wonderful girl, was his key into the locked door that sealed Liam and Lily’s life away. 

Niall too, to some degree. Liam had grown fond of Niall, clearly, and they spoke easily with each other when Zayn had come to visit his friend. Zayn has willed himself not to be jealous of their easy camaraderie. Liam clearly saw Zayn and Niall differently. Warrior and clansmen. Enemy and friend. Zayn shook those thoughts away. 

“How come you’re the one fetching us today, and not Niall? Or Liam?” she persisted. He shrugged a shoulder. 

“I wanted to come by and see the horse too. Liam has been working on her since she arrived and I wanted to see the progress he’d made. And I was on time,” he said, with a stern look at Eleanor for the last bit. 

“Oh? Are you looking to buy also? I thought your lady looked just fine coming in from the journey last week,” she said. 

“N-no. Not as such. I just wanted to see how well he worked. My mother has been asking about his trade lately. He does well enough with the leather, but we have other leather workers. We haven’t had a horse breeder in camp since Leona left with that merchant a year ago,” he said. It was true, mostly. His mother was curious, but she did her own investigating. She had visited Liam twice since he had arrived to ask about his business. One time, embarrassingly, Zayn had already been there, sitting on the grass with Safaa as Liam finished work on the small round fence he was building behind Niall’s tent to break in the yearlings and corral the horses at night. His horses grazed by the lake during the day, but traveled back to Liam’s tent at night as if by magic. He hated tying them up at night, said it made them easy prey, and had built the fence as soon as he could get permission from Niall and Trisha. 

Trisha had looked at him, soaking in the sun while Safaa made grass crowns and Lily handed Liam lengths of rope to tie the wood together. He had looked back, feeling both surprised and embarrassed. He was, at that time, supposed to be talking to Calum about making daggers for the market. The Fitcher people were rumored to be at Sevarre next month, and they were notorious for spending all their money on flashy weapons. He had started walking to Calum’s tent, but had had seen Liam hauling wood back towards Niall’s tent, and had been instantly distracted and had taken some of the load from Liam without asking. Liam had given him a half smile in thanks, and his brain had immediately forgotten Calum until Trisha stood over him, looking annoyed. 

“There’s a feast day next month,” Eleanor said, seemingly dropping the topic. Zayn nodded, relieved.

“Harry’s going out of his mind worrying that someone’s going to put a claim in for Gemma now that she ended things with Mark. He was telling me all about how she was vulnerable and he didn’t want her to do something she’d regret,” he said, mimicking Harry’s voice. Gemma was certainly the more mature sibling – Zayn did not worry that she would jump into something head first the way that her brother often did.

“I know. Gemma told me he’s driving her crazy. She’s told him that she’s not ready for a claim yet. A claim is too serious for her right now,” she said. “But,” she added, with a look at Zayn, “There are other ways to court someone than with a claim. Say, by just visiting them often, or bringing them gifts. Sometimes it’s the better way to gain someone’s trust and appreciation.” She tightened her hold on his arm and Zayn felt his stomach go cold. 

“What is it exactly that you’re accusing me of?” he asked, wanting her to say it and not wanting it at the same time. 

“Accusing you?” she asked, taken aback. “That’s pretty strong, don’t you think?” He looked away, feeling stupid for getting so upset, but unable to stop it either. She huffed. “I just want to make sure that you know what you’re doing. I think it’s sweet. And I want you to know that you have friends that support you.”

“I don’t know what I want,” he said, after a pause. “I just want to be able to visit him without it having to mean anything else. I like talking to him and Lily, and trying to figure out what his story is.”

“So… you like to look at him- no, don’t shake your head at me Zayn, you’re not as subtle as you think. If I wasn’t courting the best ass in the clan, I would certainly take a second – and third – look,” she leered at him. Zayn groaned. He wanted to crawl into a pit and stay there. “As I was saying, you think he’s attractive-” she started.

“Yes, I think we’ve covered that, Eleanor. What are you trying to say?” he said, hating his burning ears. 

“Let me finish! Sometimes I swear you’re as fussy as Louis!” she said. He shut up. “ _As I was saying_ ,” she began again. He coughed. And she honestly thought _he_ was fussy. “You wouldn’t mind kissing him all over,” he squawked, “you like spending time with him, you want to know all his secrets, you like hanging around his girl – what would be so different about actually courting him? It seems like you’re doing the same thing, just slowly.” He stopped walking, a little stunned. “Just think about it, okay?” she asked. She gave him a kiss on the cheek and slipped her hand free before running after Louis and jumping on his back to make him cry out in surprise.

Huh. Was he courting Liam? Did he want to? He didn’t know what Liam wanted, though the annoyed look on his face during half of their conversations spoke wonders. 

Hearing a shout, he checked back into the present and saw that Louis and Eleanor had made it to Niall’s tent, Eleanor still hanging on to Louis’ back. Zayn scrambled to join them.

“Here for a stead? You sure? Looks like you already have one, though you might want a smarter one, I’ll grant you that,” Niall said to Eleanor as Zayn arrived. Eleanor pretended to think it over, and Louis dropped her legs in a huff. Eleanor laughed and Niall beckoned them inside. Louis grumbled.

“Don’t pout, stead. Here are your treats,” Zayn said, handing over the colat he had been saving. Louis’ features transformed from sulky to ecstatic in an instant.

“I knew it! I knew you wouldn’t hold out on your mate!” Louis popped one of the beans into his mouth and moaned indecently. Zayn gave him a shove towards the tent. 

“Stop that, you animal. There will be plenty of time for that later. Maybe when there aren’t children present?” Louis’ eyes were closed in ecstasy and Zayn shook his head, bemused. “Well, we’ll see you when you’re ready then,” Zayn continued, moving around Louis and into the tent. 

Inside the tent, Niall was holding court with Lily and Eleanor. When he saw Zayn enter, he gave him a nod. 

“Liam’s just out in the corral with one of the yearlings. She’s quite the mean little thing, but he’s certain she just needs a ‘special touch’,” he said in a voice that implied that he thought Liam was the one that was touched. “We’ve just been waiting on your company though. I’m sure he’d be happy for an excuse to stop working with that she-devil for a bit and bring out the one he wants Eleanor to see. You just go on out back. Lily and I are going to finish our lunch and then we’ll be out to see the show,” he finished, gesturing at the cold meats and bread laid out on the low meal table. 

He pointed Eleanor in the direction of the back opening of the tent. Zayn followed her out, pausing only to give Lily a hello that she happily returned. 

Out in the corral, Liam walked the yearling in broad circles with a rope looped around her nose and held together by his hand under her chin. She kept her head high and her ears low and belligerent. She tested his grip every other step, and Zayn could see the reason for Niall’s nicknames for the young beast. 

Liam looked strong and capable, and Zayn was appreciative of the snug leathers he wore for training to protect from bites and general misbehavior. Liam saw them when he made the turn at the far end of the circle, and signaled that he would be finished in a moment before continuing at his controlled pace. 

“Wow. I can see why you come by to visit if he wears that with his horses,” Louis said from behind them, causing Zayn to jump. 

“I bet your ass would look fantastic in a pair, love,” Eleanor said dreamily, turning to Louis. He smiled, delighted. 

“I’ll have to ask where he got them. Or maybe he made them himself. There you go Zayn, you just need to ask him to make you some new riding pants and you’ll get to enjoy his undivided attention to your private bits.” Zayn turned to him and opened his mouth to retort when Eleanor swore loudly, catching their attention. Zayn followed her gaze and swore also. 

The yearling had slipped the rope from around her nose somehow, and was rearing in front of Liam, trying to strike him. Zayn moved forward to help but Eleanor caught his arm. 

“If you distract him now, he will be in much more trouble. You have to trust that he knows what he’s doing Zayn! You know better!” she said quickly. He stilled, tense, and watched as Liam used the rope to give the young horse a smarting blow on the nose. It had the desired effect of bringing all four feet down to the ground, but then she quickly turned and Liam dove to the side as she struck out with both feet hard against the fence before galloping straight for the fence at the other side of the corral and clearing it in one smooth jump before continuing her frenzied run in the direction of the lake. 

Liam shook his head and sighed before climbing over the fence and coming towards them. Zayn met him halfway, hands out and exploring Liam’s body for injuries without any permission from his brain. 

“Are you alright? That looked close. She didn’t clip you, did she?” Zayn asked in a rush. Liam shook his head. 

“No, I’m fine. Probably looked a lot more frightening than it was.” He took hold of Zayn’s wandering hands and lifted them away from his hips – how had they gotten there, dear gods – before letting go. He hesitated. “Thank you for your concern,” he said, looking away. Zayn felt warm all over, the icy touch of fear fading.

Liam turned from him and walked the rest of the way to Louis and Eleanor. Zayn followed. 

“I’m sorry you had to see that – I’m sure you all know that horses loose their minds when they turn one. I promise that the mare I’m thinking of is a credit to her kind and will treat you well, Eleanor,” he said with a slight smile. “If you’ll come with me?” he said, gesturing down the path the yearling had taken. Eleanor smiled and began to walk with him. Louis and Zayn followed more sedately behind. Liam stripped off his long gloves with his teeth as they walked and tucked them into his belt while Zayn tried his best not to stare or think about arms or muscles in general. His best was not incredibly successful.

“I want to touch his mouth with my mouth,” he said out loud, completely unbidden. Next to him, Louis laughed outright and gave him a pat on the shoulder. 

“I know, mate. Is this a thing that we’re acknowledging the existence of now?” Louis asked, still laughing a little under his breath. Zayn groaned and rubbed his face. “It’s okay Zayn. Maybe one day he’ll let you do more than just stalk him and stare at him longingly,” he said unhelpfully, gesturing ahead at Liam and Eleanor who were thankfully carrying out their own conversation out of earshot. 

“Eleanor wants me to court Liam behind his back,” Zayn said. Louis looked unsurprised. 

“I think you already are,” he said. Zayn frowned. 

“Eleanor said that too,” he said. Louis smiled. 

“Sure she did. Smartest woman I’ve ever met,” Louis said smugly. 

“Don’t know what she’s doing with you,” Zayn said, annoyed. Louis didn’t even have the good grace to look offended. 

“I know, right? Don’t tell her, I don’t want her to realize what she’s done,” Louis said, looking stupidly serious. Zayn couldn’t help but to smile at his friend. Louis wrapped his arm around Zayn’s shoulder and gave him a squeeze.

“If could weasel my way into Eleanor’s good graces after vomiting on her, I’m pretty sure we can get Liam to let you touch his mouth. Maybe even with your mouth. Just you wait!”


	5. Chapter 5

“I think you’re going about this the wrong way,” Harry said, elbows deep in kajberries as he crushed them for jam. Zayn gave an unhappy noise from where lay on the floor in front of him, legs akimbo and hands covering his face. 

“What are you talking about? I didn’t come over to be questioned, I came over for suggestions,” he said, speaking through his hands. Harry frowned. 

“I am giving you suggestions!” he said. “I am suggesting that you change what you’re doing because I think you’re doing it wrong,” he said. He took his hands from the purple mush to gesture, spraying the walls and Zayn’s hands with globs of the sticky stuff. Zayn lifted one hand to give Harry an unimpressed look. Harry stuck his hands back into the berries quickly, and Zayn turned onto his side away from him. Harry coughed and continued, “You’ve been lurking around Niall’s tent for weeks. Weeks! And what do you have to show for it?” Zayn didn’t move and contemplated falling asleep in the warm tent instead of thinking about the lackluster wooing capabilities that Harry seemed keen on lamenting. 

Harry, however, only became more enthusiastic about his cause. “The entire clan knows what you’re doing and respects your courtship, unofficial and sneaky as it is,” he started. Zayn moved his hands to his ears, and let Harry’s babble fade to a pesky hum. 

He knew that much, unfortunately. Even crotchety old Tom had smiled toothlessly at him yesterday and asked if he needed advice on bedding Liam. Actually, he’d asked if Zayn needed any help bending him over, but Zayn was doing his best to forget that part. 

His mother and sisters were also intolerable, as was their due as his family. Safaa, to his great misfortune, had finally understood why he always tagged along on her visits to Lily. She took great enjoyment in the whole thing and liked to poke at him and laugh whenever she caught him staring or stumbling over his words. He would be lying if he said he did not take some enjoyment in threatening to destroy all of her toys if she ever told Lily. Her look of abject terror had definitely been satisfying. 

The problem with everyone’s, ah, _encouragement_ , other than that it was mostly unwelcome and sometimes humiliating, was that his courtship efforts were so one-sided. Liam either hadn’t noticed that Zayn was courting him, or didn’t care to acknowledge it. Liam looked uncomfortable with most of his gifts – which had led him to transfer his gift giving efforts to Lily who was more than willing to take them – and he seemed on guard whenever Zayn would talk to him alone. Some days it was hard to tell if he was making things better or worse. 

The day he had the bright thought to give Liam one of the pretty scarves Aiden makes had certainly been a ‘worse’ day. Liam had just looked at him uncomprehendingly before turning to give it to Lily with a questioning glance back at Zayn. The scarf had been satin and covered in fine embroidery, not a gift for a man who worked with leathers and horseshit. He moaned weakly in remembrance.

Suddenly, a sticky wet hand grasped onto his wrist and yanked his fingers away from his ear and he flinched, making a face. 

“Are you even listening to me?” Harry yelled, very close to his ear. Zayn rolled onto his stomach and struggled to get away. As Zayn had spent much of his formative years wrestling with Harry, Harry anticipated this cowardice and covered Zayn’s body heavily with his own, still grasping one of his arms. “Here I am, talking away about what you should do differently, and how easy it should be for you to get a mate with a face like yours, but no. Don’t have time to listen to one of your best mates do you? You’d rather cover your ears and pretend that you’re halfway into his bed,” Harry said huffily. He took one of his jammy hands and scrubbed it into Zayn’s hair. Zayn shrieked and began to struggle more in earnest.

“I’ll kill you!” he shouted, grasping behind to wrap his fingers in Harry’s own hair and tug hard. Harry yelped and took his hand from Zayn’s hair to wrap it around the hand with a hold on his precious curls. 

“I’m just trying to help you,” Harry insisted, both hands around Zayn’s firm grip on his hair. 

“I can tell. This is just what I picture whenever I think of how people help their friends,” Zayn emphasized his statement with another sharp pull and Harry whimpered. 

“Shut up. If you hadn’t ignored me this wouldn’t have happened. I just wanted to tell you – ouch, no Zayn please – I mean, I wanted to say that I think you need to find a way to spend more time with him in a way that isn’t weird – ouch ouch ouch! Quit that you little shit!” he finished, howling and holding onto the hand in his hair for dear life. 

“And I suppose you have some amazing suggestions, hmmm? Maybe we should take long walks together, or form some fascinating singing group and travel through the tribes? Is that what you think?” he argued back, beyond irritated. He could _feel_ the jam in his hair. His grip on Harry’s hair twisted mercilessly. 

“Fucking ow, you tit! Are you trying to scalp me? I just think you should ask your mother if you can join the market trip when he goes. He’s going to need new blood from Sevarre sometime soon – Leona always went in the winter after all of the foals dropped,” Zayn froze, but kept his hand in his friend’s hair. He craned his head around to look at Harry. 

“Safaa said the last mare, Leof, dropped her filly last month. She was excited because Liam let her and Lily sleep next to the corral and then woke them to watch the babe come to be,” he said, slowly, thinking. Harry nodded. 

“Sure. So he’ll give the foal another month or two to make sure its healthy, and then he’ll be preparing to set off. Just think about it! You could convince your mom to let you take care of the needed wares, and then it would just be the two of you for the whole trip,” he said. 

“It would take us a few days to get to Sevarre, and then we would stay there for a week to exchange goods and beasts,” he said. And it would be another few days back, maybe more depending on what they carried. Two weeks then, alone with Liam. His heartbeat picked up and he looked up at Harry’s wincing face in open-mouthed appreciation. 

“Didn’t think I could come up with something so clever did you?” he asked, entirely smug. He gave a happy little wiggle on top of Zayn that crushed Zayn’s spine, but he couldn’t bring himself to complain to his brilliant _brilliant_ friend. 

“Why didn’t you think of this before I tried to wrap him in Aiden’s scarves?” he asked, keeping his grip on Harry’s hair.

“What? What are you-? Ah, right. Louis mentioned something about pink flowers and that funny face you make when you want to hide yourself in the sand and that you maybe ran away- ouch! My hair!” Harry redoubled his efforts to free himself, cursing. 

Someone coughed in the direction of the door flap and they both stopped, red faces turning towards the noise. 

“What are you doing?” Lily asked. Behind her, Liam looked torn between amusement and confusion. Zayn let go of Harry’s hair and knocked him aside as he sprung to his feet, hands immediately going to his hair to try and smooth it out, and then recoiling in disgust when he made contact and instead clenched his fists by his sides. Harry, unrepentant asshole that he was, did nothing to try and conceal his disheveled appearance and instead grinned at the pair of them disarmingly. 

“Just making jam! I always wrestle when I make jam. That’s my secret ingredient. Do you want a taste, sweetheart? Or you, Liam?” he said, gesturing to the large bowl he had been working in. “It’s kajberry jam. Or, well, it will be when I’m all finished. Right now it’s just a lot of berries and a little sugar and cinnamon. What do you think, you want a taste?” Lily nodded eagerly, stepping up to the sweet smelling bowl, hand outstretched. 

“Not with your hand- Lily!” Liam said, moving too slowly to stop her from dipping her hand into the stuff. He sighed and she looked at him in askance. “Pay me no mind. Just go on,” he said rolling his eyes up at Harry who laughed, showing off his sticky blue arms. 

“You’ve got the right of it, Lily, that’s the best way to taste it. Take a handful and just put it all in your mouth at once!” he said cheerily. She eagerly complied, and berries and juice soon found their way into her mouth and onto her cheeks and nose. Harry laughed, and Lily laughed back in delight at the mess, causing more juice to seep down her chin and onto her clothes. Zayn watched Liam sigh again behind her. 

“Have some, Liam! It’s really good,” Lily encouraged, using her non-sticky hand to pull his towards the jam. 

“It is,” Harry agreed, tilting the bowl towards Liam. With a look at Lily, Liam used a finger to scoop up a gob of the stuff and pull it into his mouth. His eyebrows shot up in surprise and he sucked harder at his finger. Zayn could do nothing but watch helplessly as his cheeks hollowed and he sucked every drop of jam into his mouth. Harry snorted in laughter next to him and Zayn regretted not pulling his hair harder when he had had the chance. At last, Liam removed his finger from his mouth with a soft pop and licked his lips. 

“That’s quite good!” Liam said to Harry. “You’ve got a good way with it,” Harry preened. 

“Many thanks! I’d be happy to bring you over a batch when it’s finished. Usually takes it a couple days to set just right,” he said. 

“That’d be nice of you, thank you. We’ll just have to hide it from Niall so he doesn’t eat it all, hmm? Messy girl?” he said to Lily. She smiled up at him agreeably. Watching them, Harry’s face became confused. 

“But, wait a minute. Not that I’m not happy to see you and share my kajberries, but what are you doing at my tent?” Harry asked. Liam looked surprised for a moment, as if he too had forgotten his reason for stopping by. 

“We heard people screaming and Liam said we should look and see because someone might be in trouble,” Lily answered with a shrug, moving forward again to help herself to more purple jam. Zayn found himself coloring, but Harry just laughed. 

“Ah yes, that’d be me. Always been told I was a screamer,” he said with a wicked smile. The innuendo went over Lily’s head, and she was too busy putting both hands into the berries to ask for an explanation. Zayn poked Harry hard in the ribs, mortified, and he winced. Liam, for his part, just raised an eyebrow.

“Where were you on your way to when you, ah, came to the rescue?” Zayn asked quickly. Liam turned to grab Lily’s hands from where they were plunged in the bowl and tugged them away with a grimace. 

“We were just heading to the lake,” he said, nodding in thanks when Harry handed him a rag and beginning the sticky task of removing the jam from Lily’s hands and face. “When I came to trade for some salve, Jana mentioned that there was some mint growing near the lake about where the white rock comes out of the water. I like to have some in my stores for the horses, so we were heading down to take a look.”

“What a coincidence!” Harry said with a grin that put Zayn immediately on edge. “That just happens to be my favorite swimming spot! And we are all plenty dirty enough for some swimming, wouldn’t you say?” Zayn was really going to kill him. Or thank him. He wasn’t sure yet. He felt strangely pleased that Liam looked equally unsure about his feelings. 

“Can we go Liam? I’m still all sticky,” Lily pleaded, looking at Liam with big eyes.

“And whose fault is that, may I ask?” Liam asked her, a smile in his voice. 

“Please?” she said, bypassing his question. He sighed for the hundredth time and looked away. 

“Okay Lily. Just as long as you remember that we have lots of chores to do when we get home. You can’t just swim all day and then decide you want to sleep when we get home,” he said seriously. She started to nod even before he had finished, and began to shift to the door. He shook his head, amused. “Alright, you little sneak, go on and run ahead, leave your poor slow Liam to fall behind, don’t even kiss him goodbye,” she giggled and reached her arms up to him. He lifted her easily into the air and caught her again, making her laugh even louder, before giving her a kiss on her head and setting her down again. “Okay Lily, now you can really run off, and,” he added, with a look in Zayn’s direction, “make sure to stop by Safaa’s tent to see if she’d like to come, okay?” Zayn smiled at Liam, pleased with his thoughtfulness, and Lily agreed before running off like a faun. Liam gave him a half smile in return. 

“Shall we, lads?” Harry said, he gave Liam a grin and Zayn a wink that he probably thought was subtle, before dashing off after Lily with a laugh. 

“Sorry. Harry’s more of a child than most actual children,” Zayn said. He lifted the tent door to the side and gestured for Liam to walk through. Liam did so, brushing against Zayn as he did and nodding his thanks. Zayn took a moment to appreciate the smell of leather and sweat and horse that he had come to recognize as Liam’s scent before following Liam out. 

By unspoken agreement, they began to walk the route together, instead of running after Lily and Harry. After a few paces, Zayn turned to Liam to say something to break the silence, and found Liam looking away from him quickly, smiling. Zayn smiled back reflexively. 

“What?” he asked. Liam turned to look at him once more, eyes tracing his features, before looking ahead again, teeth biting his lip against a smile.

“What?” Zayn asked again. Liam shook his head, still smiling, and Zayn gave him a push on his shoulder. “Tell me!”

“Nothing. It’s, ah, nothing,” Liam insisted, turning his face away. Zayn tried his best to glare and not just smile back at Liam like an idiot, but that only seemed to make Liam’s smile widen. 

“What is it?” he said in his best impression of an imperious tone. Liam turned that smile to him, at last, still biting his lip. 

“It’s just that, well, you uh, you are entirely _covered_ in kajberries. I didn’t notice before because the tent is a little dim, but in the sun, well. It’s hard to miss?” he said, lilting his last sentence like a question. “It’s even, gods, how did you get it in your hair?” he said, mayhaps a little admiringly. Zayn’s hand shot up to his hair for the second time since seeing Liam, and Liam laughed out loud. “I don’t think that there’s anything that you can do to fix it without a good scrub in some water first. I wouldn’t worry. Besides,” he said, looking down and then up again into Zayn’s face, “I kind of like you this way.” Zayn took his hand from his hair slowly and let it drop to his side. 

“Oh?” he said carefully. 

“Yes,” Liam said. “I don’t think that I’ve ever seen you look so unkempt. Usually you walk through camp with every hair in place and all of your clothes tucked together and perfect. Even when you come by after a hunt you are usually clean of blood and dirt in a way that shouldn’t be possible.” It _wasn’t_ possible. But Liam didn’t need to know that Zayn cleaned up and changed his clothes every time before coming to visit him. 

Liam looked at him searchingly, smile going a little soft at the edges in a way that made Zayn’s breath catch. “You look…different,” he settled on. His tone implied that jam hair or no, different was definitely a good thing. Zayn felt himself warm happily. 

“Though,” Liam continued, “I’m sorry about the lake.” What?

“What?” Zayn said out loud, confused by the shift in conversation. 

“I’m sorry you’ll have to bathe in the lake. I remember you telling Lily that you are afraid of the water,” he explained. Zayn was grateful that Liam did not break the ease of their company by recalling out loud just when Zayn had had that conversation with Lily. 

“Oh, right. No. Not a good swimmer. Or a swimmer at all, really,” he said, looking away. 

“Why’s that?” Liam asked curiously. Zayn spared him a quick look and saw only genuine interest there, not scorn. He looked ahead again. 

“I had an accident in Etho. Have you ever been there?” he asked. Liam shook his head silently and Zayn continued. “The sacred ‘spring’ there is more like a sacred river. It is shallow most of the time and flat near the prayer stone, but it is steep and fast in other places. Before my mother was chieftan, and before Wahliya and Safaa were born, she and my father would take me and Doniya to Etho to pray and give thanks to the Mother.” He looked to Liam, and finding him looking back, swallowed hard. He hated thinking of Etho. 

“You don’t need to tell me if it makes you distressed,” Liam said respectfully, looking away. Zayn thought of telling Liam he would like to stop, and imagined Liam’s face closing up like a tent being firmly tied down to weather a sandstorm. The thought made him shake his head. 

“It’s fine. My fear is a childish thing. It is not good for me to fear memories,” he said ruefully. Liam turned to look at him sharply, and Zayn belatedly remembered that he knew next to nothing about Liam’s past. Liam probably had his own fearful memories that he may not be so willing to dismiss. Zayn continued his story quickly, pretending not to notice his blunder. 

“Doniya and I were young then. We soon grew bored of praying, and our mother would let us go and play while she prayed with my father. Our favorite game,” he said, giving Liam a wry look, “was to cross the river at a shallow point to the other side where wild shuber fruits grew as large as my fist and gorge ourselves until our mother called us back at the end of the day to make camp. It was a system that kept us fat and happy for a couple years.

“One year though, it had rained more than usual on Etho. Etho is a strange place in the desert and it usually rains there more than it rains anywhere else. But one year, it rained a lot even for Etho. When we arrived, the river was fat with the added rain. And fast.” Liam’s eyes widened in understanding; he knew where this story was headed. Zayn nodded at his look, but continued regardless. 

“Doniya and I noticed that the river had changed, but we were also young and stupid and greedy for the fruits we had dreamed of all year. We crossed that morning, one after the other, and,” he paused, looking at Liam’s face, pinched in concern for Zayn and Doniya of years past.

“And what?” Liam asked.

“And we made ourselves sick on fruit, of course. What were you thinking would happen?” he said, pretending to be confused. Liam laughed and pushed at Zayn who caught his hands and grinned, pleased with himself. 

“Tell me what really happened,” Liam said, pouting a little at being had and tugging his hands away. 

“Oh that did really happen. We became so sick that we decided to take a nap in hope that our bloated bellies would calm themselves in sleep. We awoke much later to our mother calling for us, letting us know exactly how long we had to get back to camp before she tanned our hides. Now,” he said, “I know my mother may seem harmless,” Liam coughed to hide a laugh, “but she is not to be crossed. Doniya and I felt fear strike deep into our bones and we hurried back across that river to get to her. And I, well, I slipped,” he said, shrugging with a nonchalance that he did not entirely feel. The encompassing coldness of that water had featured in his nightmares for months after their return from Etho. 

“Pretty soon I had no idea which way was up or down. It was all I could do to keep my head in the air and breathing. It felt like I was thrown down the river for hours, entirely out of control. I drowned.

“By the time my father dove in to save me, I had swallowed water into my lungs like my body yearned to become a fish, and I had stopped breathing air. Doniya says he and my mother pounded on me and screamed my name until I gave up the water I had taken in and decided to breathe air once more. And so I stayed with the living,” Zayn said, finishing. Liam whistled a long note, impressed. 

“That’s quite the story. Can’t say I blame you for your fear,” he said sympathetically. 

“One day, maybe I’ll surpass it. In the meantime though, I let my horse help me over rivers or I go around,” he said.

“Probably a good idea,” Liam agreed. 

Ahead of them, the trees opened to reveal the lake. Not too far away Zayn could see the forms of Lily and Safaa splashing in the water while Harry sat perched on the white rock above them. Seeing Harry reminded him of his earlier conversation with his friend. He glanced at Liam. Liam looked open and relaxed in a way he never was around Zayn. Zayn looked away, unwilling to break into the topic of Liam’s plans for Sevarre. At least not today. 

Soon, they were close enough to the white rock that the others spotted them and yelled over their greetings. 

“Time to face your demons, I suppose,” Liam said with a last look, before turning to the water and pulling off his shirt in a long motion that made Zayn’s mouth go dry. Liam then kicked off his boots and bent to wiggle out of his pants. Zayn made himself look away from the expanse of toned skin, only to look back again when a telltale splash indicated that Liam had entered the water. He let himself look at the strong movement of Liam’s muscles in the water, at the way the scarred skin of his back stretched with each stroke he took. 

He bent down to remove his clothing, thoughts still on Liam. He could not help but to wonder what Liam’s demons were.


	6. Chapter 6

He was going to ask Liam about his plans for Sevarre today. Three days had passed since Harry gave him the idea, but he found himself reluctant to push Liam. Yesterday when he delivered the hunt’s skins to Liam, he had decided not to clean himself up as he usually did before arriving. When Liam greeted him at the door, he had raised a questioning eyebrow at Zayn’s appearance, but he had invited him in for the first time in their acquaintance as hunter and leather worker. He had not stayed long, but the visit had played eagerly in his head throughout the rest of the day.

He had the fine skins of two lomen on his back, the bounty of a quiet hunt alone to come to terms with his thoughts. He thought Liam might appreciate the soft fur of the lomen in his stores. The desert was cold at night, and he or Lily might like the dense fur in their bedrolls. Hopefully they would buy his entry into Liam’s tent. 

Reaching the tent Liam shared with Niall, he pulled back the door flap and called in a greeting. No one was inside, but a shout from behind the tent bade him to wait a moment. He let himself inside, looking around. Liam and Lily had not made any changes to the space other than to use the left side for Liam’s leather operation. The living space looked the same as it had since Zayn could remember. For some reason, the thought disquieted him and he frowned. 

“Zayn?” Liam said curiously from next to him and he startled. He recovered quickly and turned to give Liam a smile in hello. 

“Liam,” he said. 

“What brings you here? Lily is out playing with Safaa, and Niall is out with the hunt-“ 

“Gods help them. They’ll never catch anything with Niall stumbling around,” Zayn interrupted, joking. Liam’s eyes smiled in agreement.

“Fair enough. But all the same, why are you not with them?” Liam said. Zayn slung the skins from his back in answer and handed them to Liam who took them gently. 

“I, uh, was doing some hunting of my own to clear my thoughts. I found some lomen by the lake’s edge and I thought of you,” he said, not quite managing to look Liam in the eye at the slight lie. 

“This is a nice gift, thank you. This fur is good quality, and if I add it to some of my wares I’m sure it will increase the price,” Liam said, testing the softness of the fur against his fingers. “I appreciate the thought, especially since you came by just yesterday with the erdu skin,” he said. 

Then his fingers stilled and he looked up at Zayn, seeming to think of something. “It is really alright that I take this? I do not want the other leather workers to think that I’m getting an unfair advantage through favors,” he said earnestly, beginning to push it back at Zayn. Zayn covered Liam’s hands with his own and pushed them back towards Liam’s chest. No one would ever question nice skins arriving at Liam’s tent, Zayn’s touch all over them, courtship long past subtle. But of course Liam didn’t know that. 

“If you’re worried, you can always just say they were your kill. It can be our secret,” Zayn said, leaning forward into Liam with a flirty smile. Liam, to his delight, smirked back and did not move out of his space. Gods above but Zayn wanted to take his mouth. 

“But that would be lying,” Liam said, laughter in his eyes. Zayn leaned closer, and let his eyes drop to his lips for a moment, heart picking up. Was Liam flirting back?

“Can’t have that, can we? Guess you’ll have to use them yourself so they won’t know,” Zayn said. Carefully, he stroked his thumb across the back of Liam’s hand and onto the fur that he still held. Liam did not move away, and Zayn continued to smooth his thumb back and forth on the lomen skin, catching Liam’s hand on every backstroke. “You’d have to wear it under your clothes, of course, so no one could see.”

“A lomen loincloth to keep my bits warm?” Liam asked. Zayn smirked. The idea of Liam in a fur loincloth should have been amusing, but somehow it was anything but. An image of Liam naked but for that little piece of clothing and spread out on the furs in Zayn’s tent popped into his mind unbidden but not unwelcome. He imagined the way that tan ass and thighs would look against the white fur, Liam’s eyes hot as he looked over his shoulder at Zayn in welcome– he breathed in sharply, pushing the thought away mercilessly. Now was not the time to embarrass himself with an obvious erection. There would be plenty of time for that later, alone in his tent. 

“Maybe not,” Zayn said regretfully. “But perhaps in your bed? It should keep you plenty warm, even sleeping by yourself.” Liam’s eyebrows rose in unison.

“And who says I’ll be sleeping by myself?” Liam asked, making Zayn freeze. Had Liam found someone already? Everyone that he knew acknowledged Zayn’s interest, but he had no claim over Liam. If Liam wanted someone and they acquiesced, there was nothing that Zayn could do about it. 

“You’ve had offers, then?” he asked noncommittally, looking down at where his hands still held Liam’s loosely. 

“I’ve had one. A good man, and handsome too. He’s been courting me something fierce ever since I arrived,” Liam said, pulling his hands from Zayn’s and turning with the furs to walk out of the tent. Zayn followed slowly. Liam didn’t mean- he couldn’t possibly be talking about- no. He shook his head, heart beating rapidly once more. Liam was not talking about Zayn. 

Was he?

Outside, Liam strung up the first lomen skin on his stand and began to clean it. Zayn looked at him, nervous. 

“And this man,” he said to Liam, “how has he courted you?” Liam continued his task without looking at Zayn. 

“Oh, the usual. Brought me gifts, told me sweet things, you know the like,” Liam said blithely. Zayn watched the muscles of his forearms move as he scraped the skin. He swallowed in trepidation. 

“What kind of sweet things?” he asked. Liam shook the remains from his scraper and then dropped it into a bucket of water he kept next to the stand. He dipped his bloody hands into the water and gave them a quick scrub, smiling up at Zayn as he did so. 

“Well, just last week he told me that I had the finest ass he’d ever seen,” he said easily. Zayn looked at him hard – _he_ had certainly said no such thing, at least not out loud. Did that mean that Liam really did have another suitor? And a crass one at that?

“That’s…nice,” said Zayn. Liam’s smile grew and he rose, bringing one hand up to scratch at the back of his neck. 

“I thought so. And then, just a few days ago, he stopped me on my way to the lake to let me know that if I ever needed a good hard dicking that he’d be happy to do it for me. Thoughtful guy,” Liam said cheerily. Zayn thought his heart stopped. 

“Wh-what?” he said slowly. 

“What can I say? I like an honest man. And who doesn’t need a good hard dicking now and again?” he said. Zayn just looked at him dumbly, torn between fury and confusion and terrible lust. 

“Besides,” he said, looking down and grabbing some clean wet sand from a second bucket. “I’m not that picky about teeth,” he said, scrubbing the sand into the skin and fur to clean it. 

“Teeth?” Zayn asked, grasping at straws. 

“Sure,” he said, looking at Zayn in surprise, “teeth. As long as he can fuck me as good as he promises, why should I care that he hasn’t got any teeth or that he smells like the back end of a pig?” he asked, look turning sly. Zayn looked at him sharply. 

“What are you saying?” he demanded. Liam looked back to his craft with a shrug. 

“Just that I think old Tom and I will be very happy together,” he said as Zayn’s eyes widened in understanding. “We haven’t got too much in common, but why would we need to? We’ll just be fucking every day-”

“You son of a bitch!” Zayn yelled. Liam, giving up the ghost at last, began to laugh. Zayn pushed him hard and he fell, foot catching on the sand bucket and toppling him to the ground. Liam kept laughing, and made no move to right himself. Zayn scowled. 

“You really thought I’d been secretly courting someone all this time?” Liam said between gasps of laughter. Zayn’s scowl deepened. Not only had Liam not admitted to noticing his own efforts at courtship, but he had also given Zayn the fright of his life. He gave Liam’s twitching legs a shove with his foot. 

“You made me think that you were letting some pervert court you!” he hissed. Liam pushed himself to his elbows, grin loose and easy as he looked at Zayn. 

“For all I know, he is,” Liam insisted. “I didn’t make that part up. He really did tell me I had the best ass for fucking that he ever saw,” he said. Zayn should have guessed that Tom’s special smile the other day had meant more than just unwanted advice. “Gave me a, uh, ‘loving squeeze’ on the rear too, for emphasis I suppose,” Liam added, looked discomfited. Zayn felt an embarrassing surge of envy.

“You’re an ass,” Zayn insisted. 

“And a fine one, so I’ve heard,” Liam agreed readily, waggling his eyebrows. Zayn looked away to hide his answering smile. He was still mad, damn it. 

“I came all this way to give you a gift and you repay me with trickery. For shame,” he said, shaking his head. “And I just wanted something to keep you warm on your trip to Sevarre.” Liam met this statement with confusion. 

“What are you talking about?” he asked. There was something in his tone that made Zayn cautious. 

“Are you not going to Sevarre soon to trade? Our last horse-master went to market around this time each year to trade her beasts,” he said. Immediately, Liam’s face closed to him completely. He stood up stiffly and turned to his task with a single-minded determination that gave Zayn the feeling that he had misstepped somewhere. Badly. 

“What did I say?” he asked. Liam shook his head. Zayn looked at him, not backing down, and Liam sighed after a moment and turned a smile at Zayn that made him take a step back at the emptiness there. 

“I’m not going to Sevarre,” he said. 

“But why?” Zayn asked, wanting to reach forward and shake Liam back into the laughing boy of a moment ago. 

“I’ve already spoken to your mother about this. I’ve agreed to turn over my horses and my trade to someone else and they will take them to market,” he said. Zayn felt his mouth open in surprise. Liam _loved_ his horses. He couldn’t imagine any reason that he would choose to be parted from them. 

“Why would you do that?” he asked. Liam looked at him searchingly, a faint frown upon his brow. 

“You really have no idea, do you?” he asked. Zayn shook his head. 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about!” he said forcefully. 

“How can you not know what your mother is doing? What your chieftan is doing?” he asked Zayn, stepping into his space. The annoyance that Zayn had worked so hard to remove from Liam’s face was back as if it had never left. 

“Tell me,” Zayn said. Liam shook his head and turned away. Zayn, against his better judgment, reached out and grabbed Liam’s arm and turned him back to face him. Liam slapped Zayn’s hand away but before he could turn away again, Zayn fisted a hand in his shirt and held him. “Tell me what has happened,” he insisted. Liam looked dangerously close to hitting him, but Zayn kept his hand where it was. They stared at each other, breathing hard in anger. Then Liam smiled in that same empty way. 

“Your mother said I could trade my horses in Sevarre any time that I wanted. But,” he paused, laughing without humor, “I could not bring Lily with me. She said I was too valuable to the tribe to go wandering off with my charge. That she would keep Lily here to make sure I came back. As collateral.” Zayn said nothing, stunned. Liam used Zayn’s shock to break his grip on his shirt and turned from Zayn. He stood in front of the lomen skin stiffly, hands clenching into fists and unclenching again repeatedly. 

“I’ll never leave her, Zayn. Never,” he said. “So I told your mother that I would give up my trade to stay with her, and she accepted that.” Zayn felt cold. A silence fell between them.

“Why did you come with us when we took your village? You must have known then that something like this might happen,” Zayn asked. It was not what he meant to say, but the thought had fought its way out into the open regardless. He had wondered the answer to that question since they took the village and Liam with it. Liam must have been waiting for the question to be asked for equally as long, as he looked entirely unsurprised. 

“What else would you have had me do, Zayn? Go to the desert with Lily? We both know that’s certain death for a little girl. You weren’t exactly going to let us go with all our supplies and give us a fair chance,” he said. Zayn did know. But he also knew that Liam was not someone for whom a cage was suited. He stared at Liam’s clenching hands and imagined him pacing in such a cage, as did the fierce rowak cats he saw captured at the market. 

“I’ll fix this,” he said quietly. Liam snorted in disbelief. 

“Will you,” he said flatly. “You’ll give me back my village and my dead friends and my life?” he asked. “That’s quite a feat for a clansman,” he said. He looked at Zayn scornfully. 

“What’s done is done,” Zayn said, unwilling to be baited, thoughts racing. “I can not change time or give you things that are gone. My clan has its own ways and had its own reasons for invading. I can change your present though,” he said. On an impulse, he reached forward and grabbed Liam’s face in both hands. Liam tried to pull away but Zayn held tight. 

“I’m going to make this better, okay?” he said. Liam just looked at him. 

“What are you saying?” he asked. Zayn just let him go and turned away, rushing through the tent and past a confused-looked Niall and beginning to run as soon as he hit the main path. Liam did not call after him.

He ran through the cluster of tents, searching, searching- there! His mother was talking to Calum by his tent. He stopped and began to walk instead, ordering his thoughts. 

“Mother!” he said upon reaching her. He bowed in respect to her and nodded at Calum who nodded back. 

“What is it Zayn? I was just talking to Calum here about his daggers. They did quite well at market last time, and I was hoping that he and his handsome apprentice,” she said, with a smirk at a reddening Calum, “could make more for the next outing to Sevarre.”

“I’ll talk to Luke,” Calum mumbled, taking the opportunity to slip away. His mother smiled at his retreating figure and Zayn empathized. It wasn’t exactly easy to have your love interests outed by the leader of your clan. But Calum’s troubles seemed far away compared to his own. 

“I want to talk to you about Liam,” he said, making her turn to him. 

“Yes? Have you decided you want to put forth a claim after all?” she asked. 

“No! I mean, well, not right now. But that’s not what I wanted to ask you about,” he said. He took a deep breath. “I want to go to Sevarre with Liam,” he said. She looked at him appraisingly. 

“Something tells me that you already know that Liam has no intention of going to Sevarre,” she said.

“Only because you would make him leave Lily behind!” he said loudly. She hushed him with a look.

“Liam in an asset to our clan. He is young and strong. He is good with the leather, and with the horses. He will protect this clan when needed in order to give Lily a safe place to grow. And,” she paused, looking at him seriously, “he has the interest of my son. Why should I make it easy for him to leave us behind?” she asked. Zayn, for his part, felt sick. Of course his mother would work to keep Zayn close to the person he wanted, and see nothing wrong with making Zayn another bar upon Liam’s cage. 

“Do you really think he would come back to us if we let him go?” she pushed, heartless in her honesty. He felt even sicker with the certainty that Liam would not. 

But that was not his choice to make, not his place to make him stay.

“I want him to be happy,” he said quietly. Trisha’s face softened, and she touched his cheek. 

“I know, dear one. But what would you have me do?” she asked. His thoughts chased each other around in his mind. She would not let Liam go with Lily by himself, but maybe she would- 

“Let me go with them to Sevarre. Him and Lily,” he said with as much command as he dared. Her hand moved to grasp his chin and she held his eyes with hers. 

“Go on,” she said. 

“It would just be the three of us. Liam, Lily, and I. We would travel faster that way. If we travel together I could keep an eye on them,” he said. 

“And if you lose them, and I am still down a man and a girl?” she asked. He breathed in and out. 

“Then I will find them again and bring them back,” he said. He projected confidence and calm, and gave a brief prayer up to the Mother and the other gods that they would let him have this. His mother, as if echoing his thoughts, also turned her eyes skywards as if in supplication. After a long moment, she looked at him again. 

“Did he ask you for this? Did he play you like an instrument until you provided the right tune?” she asked. 

“Of course not. It was my idea. He doesn’t even know that I’ve thought of it,” he said. 

“What if he tries to kill you and escape with the girl?” she asked. 

“He won’t. Liam hates killing,” he said. It was true. Harry told him that Liam had not struck a killing blow throughout the attack on the village, despite having the opportunity.

“Somehow that does not fill me with confidence,” she said. 

“Stop, mother. Just. Let me? I want Liam to see the clan as his people and his home, not as his cage. If it is just a cage, then what could I ever be to him but his jailer?” he pleaded. Trisha sighed. 

“I see you will not be turned from this,” she said. He shook his head in her hand. “My handsome boy. You just had to choose the most complicated person for your bed.”

“Mother!” he said, turning red under his mother’s gaze as he had watched Calum do not so long before. She held up her hand, stopping his squawking. 

“I will permit this, Zayn. But bear in mind that if he hurts you, I will find him,” she said, releasing his chin to look at him seriously. Zayn felt his heartbeat speed up at the fierceness of that look. 

“And I will kill him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, everyone! I promise I do have a plan for where this is going, it's just going to be a bit longer than I was anticipating. Also, the next couple updates might not be as speedy as the first chapters given that I am going away for part of this weekend.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this chapter - see you next time!


	7. Chapter 7

Liam, Zayn noted, was not as pleased with Zayn as he had hoped he would be. 

After dodging him for days, Liam had sent Niall over to his tent the day before yesterday to tell him that he wanted to leave for Sevarre today if possible. Niall had looked at him uncomfortably when he told him, a messenger delivering good news through the wrong mouthpiece. But Liam couldn’t avoid him forever. Shortly, they would be taking their journey together to Sevarre. He’d like to see Liam avoid him when they were the only people in the desert. 

Then again it was probably best not to tempt fate, he thought with a wince. If anyone could do it, Liam could. The last few days had been… difficult, to say the least. Even now, as he packed up furs and weapons and other goods into the wagon outside of Niall’s tent, he still worried that Liam would back out. He hadn’t been able to get Liam alone since their argument, and he had rarely gotten Liam at all. Most times he came by the tent there was only Niall to greet him. Niall patiently let him stay and talk for an age each time before Zayn inevitably gave up and slumped homewards. 

“Hey there, traveler!” Zayn turned to the voice. Niall. And Lily. Seeing them, Zayn’s stomach turned to lead. What the hell was he doing?

Niall looked happy to see him, and completely at ease with an excited Lily on his shoulders. 

“What do you think you’re doing?” he said in a voice that missed ‘normal’ by several marks if expression on Niall’s face was anything to go by. 

“What’re you talking about? I’m just seeing you off, you ass,” Niall said, annoyed. Gods, his hands were on her ankles. Liam was going to kill both of them and take Lily away after all. 

But something was not quite right about the picture in front of him. Lily should have been upset at being touched, should have struggled and pulled away from Niall. Instead, her hands held Niall’s forehead to keep herself seated. She looked happy and comfortable, and giggled whenever Niall bounced her. What was going on? Zayn reached out to do _something_ , he just wasn’t sure what, when a hand grasped his arm and pulled him back. 

“She gave Niall permission a couple days back,” a voice said by his ear. Liam. Zayn turned into him. Liam looked good, as usual, and not at all as if his disappearing act weighed on his conscience. Zayn pushed the thought away in face of more immediate concerns.

“Gave him permission?” he asked. Liam looked past him to Niall and Lily as Niall tumbled her off his shoulders and into his arms before setting her down as she shrieked with laughter. Liam smiled at the image. 

“Yes. She said that she considers him as her family, and as such she would like to share that closeness with him. It is amazing that he makes her so comfortable that she would accept him so soon after joining a new home,” he explained, still looking at Lily. 

“Oh,” Zayn said, stomach feeling heavy again. So, Niall was family, but he was not, was he? He who had courted Liam for months and tried every way he could think of to convince Liam to let him into their life- no. Not he. But instead she chose Niall. Niall who they lived with and shared meals with, who Liam actually liked. If Liam did not trust him, Lily would never grant him that level of closeness. 

“So you’re talking to me again?” he said instead of voicing any of the selfish thoughts that clamored for attention on his tongue. Liam’s eyes refocused on his face in surprise. 

“Were you feeling neglected, little chieftan?” Liam asked. “I didn’t realize that it was my responsibility to come whenever you beckoned. My apologies,” he said with a smirking little bow. Zayn felt his temper rise in response, its interest already piqued by Niall’s ease with Lily. He opened his mouth to retaliate. 

“Zayn! Zayn! I’m so glad we’re going to Sevarre together!” Lily’s voice broke him out of the potentially regretful things he was going to say. She had run up to him during his conversation with Liam and now looked at him excitedly. He took in a breath. It was not her fault that she did not feel comfortable enough with him yet to let him into her family’s circle. He would just need to work harder. 

“Hello, love. Are you excited to go to market?” he asked. She nodded. Next to him, he heard Liam release a breath and begin walking back behind the tent to get the horses. 

“Yes! I’ve never been to Sevarre before,” she said. Huh. Zayn would have thought that Liam would take her every year, as reluctant as he was to let her out of his sight.

“Really? Why didn’t you go last year?” he asked. She shrugged.

“Liam said the road wasn’t safe for kids like me,” she said. By the tent, Liam was leading a string of horses to the wagon and he looked at Zayn suspiciously. Zayn smiled back innocently and Liam scowled. 

“Well then. He must have decided that you’re big and strong enough to fend off the brigands we meet along the way,” he said, pulling out an imaginary sword and pretending to fight her with it. Looking serious, she fought back. 

“Easy there, Lily, want to save the fight for the real bad guys, eh? We both know Zayn here doesn’t stand a chance against you,” Niall said, coming up to them. Lily smiled and put her pretend sword back in a pretend scabbard, and Zayn did the same. 

“Phew, thanks Niall. Just about saved my life. Would have been a blow to my pride as a warrior to be bested by another in my own home,” he joked. 

“Liam could beat you,” Lily said confidently. Zayn laughed a little, taken aback. 

“Could he? Is he a serious warrior too?” he asked. Lily shook her head. 

“No. Liam doesn’t fight anymore unless he has to. He only fights to keep us safe,” she said, clearly repeating something she’d been told. He looked to Niall, who thankfully also looked as though this was new information. 

“When did you see Liam fight before?” Niall asked her curiously. 

“Lots of times! But,” she paused, face falling, “I guess the last time was when Zayn and his mom came to my village,” she said, perturbed. Niall flinched and Zayn made desperate gestures over Lily’s head for Niall to change the conversation. 

“O-oh, right, of course. Um, Lily, are you going to buy anything at the market?” he asked abruptly. Lily lit up, oblivious to the obvious distraction. 

“I don’t know! I want to look at everything. I want to get Harry something to thank him for the jam, and something for Safaa. I know I really want a staff like Liam’s, but he said I have to wait until I’m old enough and he’ll make me one,” she said. A staff? Liam didn’t have a staff as far as he knew. He looked to where Liam was attaching the last horse to the wagon and did a double take. Attached to his back was a long wooden staff, just as Lily had said. 

“It’s been in the tent for weeks. I thought it was a walking stick,” Niall said dumbly. They watched Liam finish his ties and turn to them, eyes immediately narrowing upon finding their faces already turned towards him. 

“Are we going or are you just going to stand around staring at me? Zayn, do you have any more wares for the wagon?” he asked testily. Zayn looked back at the cart he was loading from and found that it was not in fact empty. He coughed and turned back to his task without comment. Niall gave him a hand. Liam for his part walked briskly over and took Lily into his arms. 

“Ready to go in the cart, Lily?” he asked her. 

“Yes, Liam,” she said. 

“Okay, then. Give Niall a kiss goodbye,” he said holding her up to Niall’s height. Niall took her from Liam and hugged her tight. 

“I’ll miss you, Lily girl. It’s going to be very quiet without you. I’m even going to miss those frogs you chased into my bed last week,” he added, pulling back to look at her fondly.

“I’ll miss you too Niall,” she said and reached forward to kiss him on the cheek. Niall colored, pleased, and he returned her to Liam once more. Liam took her and helped her inside the wagon and on top of some furs while Zayn finished up. 

“You remember what I told you sweetheart?” Liam asked her seriously when she was seated. She nodded. 

“I can look outside whenever I want but if you tell me to, I need to hide quick,” she recited dutifully. He smiled at her. 

“Good girl,” he said, climbing out of the wagon again. He turned to Niall and held out his hand. 

“See you in a few weeks?” he asked. Niall took his hand and used it to pull him into an embrace. Liam laughed in surprise and hugged him back. 

“I’ll miss you two. You be careful out there. Especially with Lily,” he said. The moony bastard even had tears beginning to brim in his eyes. 

“Niall. We make this trip at least ten times each year, if not more. We’ll be fine,” Zayn said, rolling his eyes. Niall let go of Liam with a sniff, and turned to Zayn, pulling him into a similar embrace. Liam walked to the front of the wagon and mounted his horse to give them privacy- or maybe just to encourage Zayn to hurry up, he thought uncharitably. 

“I’ll miss you too, Zayn. It’s been nice having you around, even if I know you’re not a constant visitor to my tent on _my_ account. Oh stop,” he said in reaction to Zayn’s efforts to free himself. If anything, Niall held on tighter. “Use your time well, Zayn. He’s not going to make it easy on you. He’s right pissed at you at the moment,” he said. 

“Yes, I got that part, thanks,” Zayn said drily. 

“Quit your moaning. Just fix it. You’ve got a good man there, and he could use some more family,” Niall said cryptically, before letting him go at last. Zayn looked at him sharply. 

“What do you know?” he asked. 

“Nothing I’m at liberty to share,” Niall said with a grin. He reached forward suddenly and gave Zayn a wet smacking kiss under his eye before darting off, grabbing the empty cart along the way and laughing at Zayn’s disgusted expression when he wiped the slobber from his face. 

“Niall!” he shouted. But his friend only blew another kiss at him cheekily before darting off and into the tent, yelling back his final goodbyes to Lily and Liam. Niall was probably hiding himself to blubber some more, Zayn thought, recognizing the all too cheerful look on his friend’s face. Niall had certainly gotten used to the company, and he would hate being alone again. He hoped Harry and Louis would look in on their friend while they were gone. 

He walked away from the scene and along the wagon, checking the ties and making sure everything was secure before he walked to the front and mounted his horse next to Liam. 

“Ready?” he asked. Liam clucked at his horse in answer and began to move forward. Zayn followed suit and soon they were moving steadily at last towards the gate, Liam looking straight ahead and Zayn looking only at Liam. He took his time drinking him in, now that they were alone but for Lily in the wagon. From the noises she was making in there, Zayn had no doubt that she was fully distracted by looking at the different goods he had packed.

Liam looked fit and ready, confident as though he had done this a thousand times. Zayn had been to market before, and had never seen him in Sevarre, but he had never come to trade horses. Growing up around the beasts, he knew a fair amount about them, but he was usually far too busy with raids and clan concerns to devote his time to horse lineage and conformation. Sevarre’s trading market was a huge place with many people coming and going. There were probably scores of people like Liam who had gone to the market for years along with Zayn that he had never actually encountered. And he had never been interested before in talking to Leona about her business and whom she talked to. 

He looked away from Liam when he saw the guard towers ahead. Mikey and Ashton manned the towers today. 

“Good morning!” he called up to them. They both turned to look down on him and Liam. 

“Good morning!” they chorused back at him. 

“Heading out to Sevarre, Zayn?” Mikey asked conversationally. His mother would have already told her guards that a market trip was heading out today.

“Going to bring me back a pretty girl this time?” Ashton asked before he could answer Mikey. Mikey scoffed and Ashton gave his ridiculous laugh. “I want a brunette with really big, well, you know,” he said, clutching his hands in front of his flat chest.

“Plebian,” Mikey said with a disparaging look. 

“Alright, so that’s a blind and deaf brunette, and what would you like?” he asked Mikey. Ashton pouted at his post and Mikey smiled. 

“I’ve got everything I need right here. I’m just looking forward to tonight’s entertainment,” he said. Ashton, easily distracted, laughed again. 

“Oh! I almost forgot about that. This is going to be brilliant,” he said. Zayn looked between the two of them, out of the loop. 

“What entertainment?” he asked. 

“Calum is going to make a claim for Luke tonight,” Mikey answered gleefully. Zayn smiled back. 

“Isn’t that cause for celebration? I’m happy for him,” Zayn said. 

“Oh it is, it is,” Ashton was quick to reassure him. “But Calum hasn’t mentioned anything to Luke! He hasn’t even stolen a kiss or given him a hint yet.”

“He’s going the route of the grand gesture. He always goes for things he wants,” Mikey added. “I just hope this doesn’t blow up in his face.”

“Hope it doesn’t, or hope it does? You sound a little too excited at the prospect,” Zayn teased. Mikey smirked. 

“So suspicious, Zayn. You really think I’d be so cruel to my best friend?” he asked, Ashton laughing in his tower beside him. 

“I think you’d do just about anything for a spot of fun. I remember-” 

“Can we get a move on, then? Or would you rather just stay here and gossip?” Liam interrupted them sharply. Zayn bit his cheek against what he really wanted to say, and turned his face up to Mikey and Ashton who looked abashed. 

“Give Calum my regards. And Harry has some good liquor hidden in his tent if you need to celebrate. Or to commiserate,” he said, giving them a salute before urging his horse forward. They called their goodbyes down to him as he and Liam moved beyond the gate. Then there was only silence. 

Peeved, Zayn looked straight ahead. A quick look to his left told him that Liam was doing the same. They walked that way for some time, Liam only halting them once to check in on Lily and find her asleep on the furs, lulled by the movement of the wagon. Time passed slowly in the silence, and Zayn entertained himself by thinking of all the confusing and irritating things that Liam did since he had been brought into the clan. 

Liam reached down into his saddleback and pulled out some dried meat and flat bread and began to eat. Catching Zayn’s eyes on him, he offered some to Zayn. Zayn felt his temper snap. 

“What is wrong with you?” he asked. Liam’s face darkened like a storm cloud and he retracted his offering hand. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said, putting the food back in his bag. 

“You’ve ignored me this whole time, avoided me outright for days before our journey, and you think that you can just share a meal and a tent with me without any explanation?” he said, suddenly more angry than he’d ever been. 

“I’m sorry I was rude to your friends, that I embarrassed you. That’s what this is about, isn’t it?” Liam asked, voice matching his for fury. 

“No, I mean, yes. But not only that. Why have you been hiding from me? I thought-“ he trailed off, unsure how to phrase his thoughts. 

“You thought what? Thought that I should come to your tent on my knees, thanking you for being such a kind master that you argued with your mom for your pet to be able to leave as long as you hold its leash?” Liam asked, cruelly filling in the pause in his thoughts. He sucked in a breath. It hurt, not because Liam was wrong, but because he was right, at least a little bit. Zayn did want him to be grateful. He wanted him to come to Zayn’s tent and thank him for standing up to his mother and granting him the freedom to leave. He shoved the hurt deep down, and latched on to a safer feeling: rage. 

“I am not your fucking master,” he said with a sneer. 

“Oh sure, your mother forbids slavery in her camp. But you see, there’s something nice and clear about being a slave. At least then you know at all times just how far your chains will let you reach. At least then you don’t have masters pretending that they are not masters,” he said spitefully. 

“I do not own you!” he said. He did not. The thought of chaining Liam to him like that made him ill. 

“Maybe you don’t own the key to my shackles, but your mother does. She will never let me go. You understand that, don’t you Zayn?” Zayn looked down. His mother would not let Liam go now, but there was hope for that in the future, especially if he could work with her, and if Liam would just accept his help. 

“Why don’t you just leave, then? You’ve had plenty of opportunity to knock me out and take the goods and Lily,” he said. Liam looked him up and down, and Zayn hoped dearly that Liam wasn’t actually contemplating a fight. Liam shook his head and Zayn released a breath he didn’t know he had been holding. 

“And how far would we get? You would have to go home and they would know immediately what had happened. And bad slaves don’t get second chances, Zayn. They get killed,” Liam said with a certainty that made Zayn shiver. They both thought on that in silence. Zayn made no move to correct him, all too aware of his mother’s parting warning. 

“I just wanted to do something to make you happy,” he said angrily, breaking the quiet pause. Liam turned to him and started to say something but Zayn talked over him. “I want you to be a member of this clan. I want you to have the freedom to go and come back as you please and I am sorry that is not something that I can give you. I can only work with what I have Liam. Yes, this is the solution that I came up with, but gods, I never would have fucking suggested it if I had known that it would make you hate me more!” he said, voice rising as he spoke. 

“How can I think of you as anything but my jailer when you insist on taking that role?” Liam asked, unconsciously echoing Zayn’s own words to his mother. “Why didn’t you talk to me first? You were so keen on being the big hero that you didn’t even ask me if this is what I would have wanted. How can you not realize that the only people who can not make their own choices are prisoners?” Liam shouted. 

“Fine!” Zayn threw up his hands in disgust, “I wanted to do you a favor. I should have realized that in your mind, that meant I was stepping in to buy you at auction. Forgive me, you fucking asshole, for caring about you and wanting you to do the things you love. I must be secretly trying to fuck with you, because why else would I want you to be happy. Why else would I go toe to toe with my mother to fight for you? I know you can leave when Lily gets old enough. I know you don’t feel the need to make many attachments to clansmen because you hate what we do and you can’t wait to get away from us. Well! You’ll just have to fucking forgive me for wanting to give you a reason to stay!” he finished, breathing hard. Gods, he had said far too much. Liam looked at him, eyes wide. He opened his mouth. 

“Don’t you dare say anything else,” Zayn shouted and then, in an angry lunacy, he reached over and pushed Liam hard. Liam’s face turned to surprise and he slipped to the side. Scrambling, he grabbed at Zayn’s hand, still outstretched, and pulled as he fell. Zayn felt himself lifted from his saddle and over Liam’s horse and then down. 

He fell hard onto the ground and onto Liam, knocking the breath from his lungs. Groaning, he stayed where he landed for a moment, doing a mental check that he was in one piece. Satisfied, he hefted himself to his elbows to glare down at Liam. 

“Now look what you’ve done!” Zayn said sharply. Liam looked up at him in surprise, and then gave him a slow smile. Zayn glared harder. “Don’t you smile at me, asshole. I’m angry at you,” he said. Then he and Liam moved to rise at the same time and somehow bungled it and fell again. Liam, losing the battle with his control, began to laugh. 

“I don’t know what you’re laughing at, but you can stop now,” Zayn said churlishly, only making Liam laugh harder. He tried to rise once more and his leg caught again, throwing him back onto Liam. 

“Stop, stop! You’re going to kill me,” Liam gasped, laughing hysterically. Zayn felt his glare soften unconsciously at the picture they made, enjoying the feel of Liam’s chest shaking with the force of his laughter. The Gods must really hate him to make him want this terrible stupid man. He laughed at the thought, and then, like Liam, became caught up in it and could not find it in himself to stop. 

“What are you doing?” Lily asked. He looked up at her, round face peeking out of the skins that covered the front of the wagon. Her presence should have encouraged them to disentangle themselves and straighten up, but if anything it just made them laugh all the harder. “What’s funny?” 

“Nothing, it’s nothing sweetheart. We just had a little accident,” Liam said, before the laughter overtook him once more. 

“Do you, ah ha ha, I mean are you hungry?” Zayn struggled to say. Lily, tilted her head in thought. 

“Yes, I think so. Is it time to eat?” she asked. 

“Yes, love. Can you, ha ha, can you please find the fruit? It should be in a sack next to the furs you were sleeping on?” Zayn said, barely. Liam pushed Zayn back gently and Zayn complied, easing himself onto all fours and then resting on his haunches as Liam sat up beneath him. 

“We’ll be with you in the wagon in a moment, Lily. We just need to get the bread and meat from our saddlebags,” Liam said, gaining control over his laughter at last. Zayn took a few deep breaths as Lily nodded and gave them both a curious look before disappearing into the wagon. 

Liam shuffled his legs out of the way and Zayn put his hands on Liam’s hips and used the leverage to stand at last. He stretched and looked down at Liam, proffering him a hand up. Liam took it and rose to his feet. Without thinking about it, Zayn turned him around and dusted the sand off his back and legs, giving his backside a cursory swipe, before turning him forward again. Liam was looking at him intently, with something that might have been fondness had the look been directed at anyone else. It made Zayn feel itchy and uncomfortable.

Suddenly, it was difficult to look Liam in the eye, and he smiled falsely before turning to the horses that had patiently stood and waited for their people to regain their senses. 

“I’ll grab the supplies,” he mumbled. Liam stopped him with a hand around his arm, so similar to this morning when he had tried to help Lily and yet that seemed so far away. 

“I’m sorry,” Liam said. Zayn did not look up at him. 

“For being my slave or for implying that you were my slave?” Zayn asked humorlessly. Liam withdrew his hand with a flinch. 

“I should not have said those things to you. It was unfair. I know that this is not something that you chose for us, and that you were doing what you thought was right,” Liam said quietly behind him. 

“I’m sorry for not asking you and for making this decision for you as if I were your- well, as if I were something other than your equal and your friend,” Zayn said in turn. 

“Thank you,” Liam said. He gave Zayn’s hand a squeeze before walking around him to the saddlebags to take out portions of meat and bread for each of them. Liam turned and handed Zayn his share with a smile before heading into the tent. Zayn watched him slip inside and listened to the low murmur of voices as he and Lily began to chat. 

In a couple days, they would be in Sevarre, and in a couple weeks they would be back home. Hopefully he and Liam wouldn’t kill each other in that time. He shook his head and climbed into the wagon, thoughts on the journey ahead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that was a total lie last time because here is the next chapter, whoops :). Thanks for reading, all! Especially as this thing just keeps growing and growing. I'm anticipating about 4 or 5 more chapters, but we shall see - it's already the longest thing I've ever written...


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! Here's the latest chapter. You'll notice I upped the rating, but before you get too excited, I should let you know that this was mainly due to some strange people in Sevarre and Zayn's sexual frustration making itself known. 
> 
> Hope you like it :).

Lily was enthralled by Sevarre. 

Zayn watched her watch the landscape change from desert to the little dwellings of the people that lived on the fringe outside the gate, had seen her awe at the Great Eastern Gate of the city. And when the gate had opened to them, her eyes had gone as round as the moon at the splendor she saw there. 

People of different races and garments rushed about along the streets, looking at wares or calling out prices for their own. Everyone from ladies in bright frippery to men and women in rags moved about. To his left, a group of the Salante people wearing only loincloths argued with a stone faced merchant about some deadly looking arrowheads that glinted sickly in the sunlight. He shuddered. The Salante people painted themselves blue and wore heavy bone jewelry. From the way Liam edged their wagon quickly past, Zayn had a feeling that he too knew that their jewelry was made of _human_ bone. 

Ahead, some red-headed Giibai children ran across the street laughing, brightly colored scarves in their hands. A look back told him that Lily watched them curiously, if not a bit enviously. He looked to Liam.

“Shall we check in with the city guard and then find something to eat?” he asked. Liam nodded back to him and they pushed their way slowly through the rush of people to find the Mother’s temple in the center of the city. It was slow going, people crossing the road aimlessly or stopping them to ask if they wanted to purchase things, but eventually they made it. He heard Lily gasp behind him at the sight. 

The Mother’s temple was giant and pristine despite the general clutter and grunge of the city that surrounded it. It was a shining white that seemed to glow, a white that was only broken by the sacred trees that grew straight out of the white floors, and the red color colored garments that the Mother’s guards wore. 

Of all the gods, the Mother was the most powerful here, and her temple was therefore the grandest. Zayn heard tell that it housed nearly fifty priestesses, as well as the two hundred guards that patrolled the city under Her watch. A line had formed in front of one of the guards, and Zayn directed their group towards the end of it. This guardsman would be the one in charge of taking their bribe, er, donation to the goddess, and giving them the permit they needed to set up their camp. 

“It’s so grand!” Lily said. He turned to her, saw her look of awe while taking in the temple. He smiled at Liam, who returned it. 

“Do you remember your first visit to Sevarre?” Zayn asked. Liam’s eyes darkened and his smile grew crooked for reasons that Zayn would not push at right now. He just looked back at Liam and waited. 

“I do. I wasn’t much older than Lily is now. I remember seeing this temple, and that it scared the daylights out of me being so big and so, well, it always struck me as cold,” Liam said. Zayn nodded. 

“Me too, actually. I was here for the first time before my mother was chieftan. My mother wanted her new altar to be blessed by the head priestess and she let me and Doniya come along, and Safaa too, in her belly,” he said with a look at Lily. Finding her listening intently, he grinned. “Wahliya was too young and stayed behind with my father. I was amazed by the city. My mother had to keep a tight grip on me at all times lest I wander off and join the weaver men of the Katar people or a traveling troupe of singers and dancers,” he said with a wink at her. 

“Oooh, do you think that we’ll see singers here, Zayn? Liam hardly sings to me anymore,” she said with a mischievous look at Liam. Liam gave her a look that implied that his singing was a secret he had not wanted to share with Zayn. She giggled, unrepentant. 

“I warrant that we’ll see many singers here. In just a month or so singers will be coming from everywhere to give their respects to the Twins,” he said. If the Mother was the most popular and revered god in the city and in Zayn’s tribe, then the Twins were the second most. The Mother’s daughters, they were more playful and forgiving than the Mother. People celebrated them with song and dance every year during their birth month. 

“Maybe,” he said with a look at Liam, “we’ll come back and Liam can sing for them too?” He grinned slyly at Liam. Liam mimed shooting him with a bow, and Zayn laughed. 

“Really, Zayn? That would be so nice. Liam has the best voice. It makes me happy when I hear him sing,” Lily continued on. Liam, to Zayn’s great surprise and pleasure, began to blush. 

“Well then, we’ll certainly have to convince him to sing for us, won’t we? I say, you might even tell my mother when we get back to camp. If she knows there’s a singer in the group, she might even ask him to sing at feast-“

“The line is moving,” Liam interrupted quickly. Zayn laughed again. Liam’s face and neck were a fetching pink color. He spared a brief thought to how far down that color reached, and if he colored like that in bed. He could imagine it all too clearly. And uncomfortably, given that he was still astride his horse. He shifted, looking away from the entirely too enticing line of Liam’s neck. 

“Besides, Harry told me that you and he and Louis and Niall used to sing together at feast when you were younger. Why do you not anymore?” Liam asked, looking at Zayn curiously despite the blush that still lingered in his cheeks. Zayn found his own skin heating at the question. 

“Harry told you? When?” he asked, stalling. 

“When he came by to deliver the jam he sang Lily a little song about berries. He has a nice voice so I asked if he sang at feast. He said that he still does sometimes, but not as much as when he was younger and he sang with the three of you,” he said. “He seemed to think that you in particular had a _very_ sweet voice,” he added with a wink. Gods, when he came back to camp he was going to kill Harry. 

“It’s true. I did sing-” he started. 

“And dance. Harry was very certain that you also danced,” Liam said.

“And dance,” he said with a glare. 

“That’s great Zayn! Will you show me sometime? I loved watching the dancers that passed through the village. And the dancing at the feasts is so fun,” Lily said.

“Maybe, love. We’ll have to see. Dancing is hard without a partner. Maybe if you can convince Liam to dance with me than I can show you,” he said, watching Liam’s smug face turn to panic. 

“Now wait, I’m not sure-“

“Oh Liam! You must. I want to see,” Lily insisted. 

“Why can’t Zayn dance with you at feast instead, sweetheart? Wouldn’t you like that?” Liam pleaded. 

“Liam, don’t be silly. I’m not tall enough to dance with Zayn yet and make it look right. You know that!” she said, exasperated. Liam pouted in defeat, making Zayn smile. 

“I do…know that. Of course, Lily, I’m being so silly,” Liam said. 

“So that settles it. Liam and I will dance for you during the next feast,” Zayn said, already anticipating touching Liam and feeling his body against his own. He made a promise to buy Lily something nice in thanks.

“Do you promise? Liam?” Lily asked, perhaps sensing that Liam was the more resistant obstacle. 

“I promise, Lily,” Liam said sulkily. Zayn gave his own promise cheerfully. 

The group in front of him moved away at last, and they moved forward to meet the guard. Zayn sobered instantly. The city guards were not to be trifled with. Next to him, he could feel Liam straighten in his saddle. 

This guard was tall and broad, and wore the red leathers and cape of his station proudly. His expression was covered by the thick glass face shield that all of the guards wore attached to their helmets. The face shield distorted his features and made him look almost inhuman. His mouth, uncovered by the shield, was set in a grim line. Zayn dismounted and Liam did the same. They both bowed deeply. 

“Name your business,” the guard ordered. 

“We’re here to trade. Goods and horses. We will be in city for about one week, and then we will be heading back to our clan,” Zayn said stiffly. The city guards always made him feel uneasy and prickly. Maybe it was the slick way that they moved like oil on water, or the absence of their expression through the face mask or in their voices, but whatever it was made Zayn want to make his business with them as minimal as possible. 

“State the number of people in your group,” the guard said.

“It is just me and my friend here, and his, ah, his daughter,” he said. He had talked to Liam and Lily about their labels when they made camp the night before. They had agreed that it would be easier to call Lily Liam’s daughter, rather than have to explain why he really had her. 

Liam turned to the wagon to grab ahold of Lily and set her on the ground next to him. Looking up at the guard, she began to tremble. Liam stiffened, and pulled her face into his leg. The guard registered all of this without comment, before giving a signal to another guard near his left. The second man moved past them and soon Zayn could hear him climb into the wagon and move around. Zayn felt his hackles rise at the invasion, but kept himself in check. This was all routine. 

They waited as the man rooted through their belongings and finally jumped out again, hand holding the bag of gems that Zayn’s mother had given him to use as a bribe. 

“All is as he says. I did not find anything illegal. I assume this is your gift for the Mother?” the second man said, showing Zayn the bag. 

“Yes,” Zayn said with a nod. The man poured the gems into his hand and showed them to the first guard. The guard looked them over quickly and gave a nod. 

“It is acceptable. Give them a permit to trade for a week,” he said to his companion. The second man turned to the cart behind them and pawed through the permits there to find the right one. 

“Staying beyond that time is punished by a day in the stocks. For all of you,” he said with a nod towards Lily. Liam’s jaw clenched and he took a step forward. Zayn reached out to grab his arm, hoping to calm him. 

“Understood,” Zayn said. The guard gave them a last look as the second man returned to them and handed Zayn their permit, before gesturing for them to move along. Zayn removed his hand from Liam’s arm and mounted his horse. Liam did likewise after returning Lily to the wagon. 

They walked the horses away in silence, letting the bustle of the city wash over them once more after they cleared the temple grounds.

“I’m sorry,” Liam said quietly, at last. 

“Don’t be. I always forget how much I hate the city guards until I come back here,” Zayn said. 

“Still, if I had lost my temper it would have been bad for us. Thanks for stopping me,” Liam said. 

“No problem. I’m sure you would do the same for me,” Zayn said. At that, Liam gave him a slight smile. 

“I don’t know if you’d give me the chance. You might just push me off my horse again if I tried,” Liam said. Zayn grinned ruefully.

“Ah well. How was I to know that your balance was so poor? I barely nudged you. Such a dramatic man,” Zayn said, rolling his eyes skywards. 

“Is that what happened?” Liam said playfully. 

“That’s how I remember it,” Zayn said, straightening his leathers. Liam laughed. 

Together they searched the streets for a good spot to set up their trade for the day. They passed up a couple options, deciding them to be too small or too dark, before deciding on a patch close to the northern edge of the city where some other horse traders set up their camp. Liam haggled with them to share the water pump that they had claimed, and then began to water the horses while Zayn secured the wagon and opened the skins to best display the goods. Lily, fascinated by her first look at a water pump, watched it work its magic and fill the water troughs easily. Zayn couldn’t wait to take her to an inn where she could have a bath. The clansmen only used the lake for their washing. A tub was not something that was easily carried around if they needed to break camp and move, but he had a feeling that Lily was going to be very pleased to use them here. 

As an added bonus, their trade location was also set near to a food vendor. The smells that wafted towards Zayn made his mouth water. He called Liam over. 

“I can watch our goods if you want to take Lily and grab us some lunch. I think she’d like to look at what’s being offered there,” he said, handing Liam a couple of gold pieces and digging in the wagon to find the plates. His people used bartering wherever they could, but sometimes they would trade goods for gold and vice versa, and a food vendor was more apt to be interested in gold than in a nice dagger or a pair of leather wristbands. Liam nodded and called to Lily, and Zayn then watched them walk away toward the spicy scent. 

“How much?” a voice said, interrupting his thoughts. He turned to find a head of straight black hair and serious pale eyes. A Fitcher clansman then. The Fitcher woman, true to form, was pointing at one of Calum’s fine daggers. 

“What do you have to offer?” he asked. The woman dug through her pockets and found stone jar that she opened to reveal an orange-red powder.

“Cleesus powder strike your fancy, clansman?” she said looking at him searchingly. She was probably looking for some indication of his tribe. Because of his mother’s tactics, their tribe was varied in skin color and appearance, making it difficult to place them. It put sellers at a disadvantage as they had to work to figure out what goods would best appeal to his clan. Luckily for the Fitcher woman, cleesus powder was indeed something that he would trade for. Trading trips into Sevarre were usually for spices, wood, horses, paint, and tar. Spices were not a necessity, but the Malik tribe was fortunate enough to be able to afford such niceties. 

Zayn looked at her flatly, pretending to consider. 

“This dagger is made of alabas stone and sharp enough to cut hair. Where did you find the cleesus? Is it fresh from this season or older? Can I smell it?” he asked and they were off, trading questions and answers. Zayn did not go to market often, but he did enjoy haggling and finding a good price. The woman smiled at him when they agreed upon their price, handing over a smaller jar of salme with the cleesus, indicating that she too enjoyed the game. He bid her good luck on her travels and gave her the dagger. She returned the sentiment and went on her way. 

As she left, a pair of tribesmen approached asking about some of Liam’s leather gloves and Zayn was off again. He sold them three pairs of gloves and in return, one of the tribesmen stayed with him while the other ran back to their tent to gather some wood. They waited together, talking of local gossip and the upcoming festival. Zayn looked around as they talked and spotted Lily and Liam returning at last, laden with dishes. Lily bounced around curiously, popping pieces of something purple into her mouth as they walked and chattering ceaselessly at Liam who nodded along.

“Your mate?” the tribesman asked him. Zayn startled. 

“No! I mean, not as such, no,” he stumbled. The tribesman smiled at him, showing off teeth that had been blackened with tumac root in a way that was common to some of the southern tribes. 

“But you would like him to be,” he said sympathetically. 

“It doesn’t matter what I want,” Zayn said, looking at Liam and Lily again. 

“I wouldn’t worry. You have plenty of time. Sander courted me for nearly five years before I was convinced to take him as my mate,” he said with a gesture at his companion who was moving towards them through the crowd carrying several lengths of wood. 

“Five years? He must be a very patient man,” Zayn said, amazed. If he was still courting Liam in five years time, he might be tempted to drown himself in the lake. 

“Oh he is,” the tribesman smiled. “And a great lover. Begs me to take his ass nearly every night,” he said sunnily. Zayn choked. 

“In fact, he’ll probably be so jealous that I’ve been talking to a handsome man like you that he’ll insist I fuck his mouth right behind one of the tents,” he added easily. Zayn tried to control his gaping. 

Suddenly, wood appeared in front of him on the wagon, dividing him and the stranger. Sander had returned. The big man looked between the two of them, noting his mate’s smile and Zayn’s poleaxed expression, face growing suspicious as he did so. 

“Here is the wood,” he said needlessly. Zayn took it, looking desperately for Liam and Lily and finding them distracted by a man juggling knives who must have stopped them in the road. Lily looked amazed while Liam looked mainly impatient, burdened as he was by all the food. Zayn looked down at the wood, affirming it to be good quality, before putting it in the wagon and handing Sander the gloves. 

“What were you talking about?” Sander asked, still looking questioningly at his mate. His companion smiled. 

“I was just telling this man about how much I enjoy fucking you,” he said. Sander blushed to the roots of his yellow hair. 

“Bran! You can’t just tell people that- ah!” he said, trailing off with a gasp as Bran stuck his hand down the back of his pants and squeezed. He moved his wrist in a way that had Sander arching with a mewling noise, and then ducking his head in embarrassment. He grabbed at the hand in his pants and tugged ineffectively. 

“Bran!” he said again, trying for stern and instead sounding breathy and helpless. Zayn tried to look at anything but that wrist going into Sander’s pants or Sander’s pink mouth. It was all too easy to imagine Sander going to his knees in the dirt to put his mouth around Bran’s cock, pink lips glistening with spit and precome. Sander was taller and broader than Bran, and would probably have to hunch down a little to take him. Maybe Bran liked control the angle by gripping Sander’s hair and pulling him onto his cock. 

“Um,” Zayn said, eloquently. 

“You’re still a little loose and wet from this morning, Sandy,” Bran said wonderingly. Zayn wondered if they would notice if he ran away. Sanders looked like he was torn between running and rocking back onto Bran’s hand. With a last push that made Sanders gasp and cover his face with his hands, Bran slipped his hand from Sander’s pants and smiled at Zayn. 

“Well then, looks like we have places to be,” Bran said to Zayn with a wink. Zayn made a conscious effort to close his mouth. 

“Um,” he said again. 

“Take care now. And good luck with that mate of yours,” he said. Sander didn’t look at Zayn, which suited him just fine. With a nod at Zayn that he returned feebly, Bran took hold of Sander’s hip and led them away. He stared after them, watching Sander’s red ears disappear into the crowd. 

“Friends of yours?” Liam asked. Zayn jolted into awareness, and found Liam next to him, looking at him slyly. Zayn shook his head furiously.

“Really? They looked like they might be intimate friends,” Liam said, handing Zayn a heaping plate. 

“I’d never met them before! They just came up to me to buy gloves and then just started doing, ah. Doing. Um,” he looked away, face burning. Liam laughed and Zayn moaned, wanting to cover his face with his hands. “Why would anyone do that?” he asked in a whine.

Liam laughed some more and placed a couple more onto the wagon before hopping in after them. Zayn followed, sitting cross-legged across from Liam with the plate balanced in his lap. 

“I can think of a couple reasons,” Liam said. Zayn choked again, this time on his bread. 

“You bastard. You know that’s not what I meant,” he said. Liam just smiled and shook his head. “And don’t think that I don’t know that you could have rescued me sooner. You clearly could see me when you talked to that juggler,” Zayn said sternly.

“What I want to know is how you attract that type of conversation in the first place. Must be because you’re handsome,” Liam said easily, tucking into his stew with his bread. Zayn tucked the compliment away, pleased despite himself. Liam had never commented on his appearance before. 

“Where’s Lily?” he asked.

“Playing with the water pump again,” Liam said with an eye roll. "I might just have to figure out how to make one at camp given how much she enjoys it. It would be easy enough to do by the lake, I’m sure,” Liam said. 

“I bet that Safaa would like that too. She’s never been to the city. Mother won’t let her go until she’s seen at least ten summers. She’s gotten more protective since she can’t exactly come with us to market anymore,” he said. 

“I understand. The city can be dangerous, and there’s a lot to see here that can be frightening to a youngster. You saw the way she reacted to the guards,” Liam said with a frown. Zayn nodded. 

“Sure. But then again, they make my skin crawl even now, and I’m at least three times as old as she is,” Zayn joked. Liam smiled. 

“I’ll grant you that. The first time I saw their masks I thought they were inkeni,” he said. Zayn shuddered. Growing up, the older children had told him scary stories about different monsters and ghosts. The inkeni were said to be monsters that looked like people except that they lacked a face. Envious of a person’s eyes and mouth and nose, inkeni would steal them as the person slept on, oblivious until they woke and found themselves blind and voiceless. Zayn had had nightmares for weeks when Misha had told him that story, waking up in the dark crying, certain that the inkeni had stolen his eyes. 

“That’s awful,” Zayn said. 

“At least there are other pleasures. Lily ate about a hundred purple boorberries, and enjoyed some spiced meat too. I’m sure we’ll be able to find her something else she likes to make this a good memory. If not, there’s always running water,” he said with a grin at Zayn. 

“I don’t know,” Zayn said slowly, “when I asked her she said she only really wanted a staff like yours.” Liam’s grin turned to surprise.

“When did she tell you that?” he asked. 

“As we were packing up,” Zayn answered. Liam turned back to his plate, wiping up the remnants of the stew with his bread. 

“I didn’t think that she was so keen. She’s asked me before, and she watches my morning practice, but I figured it was a passing thing. Doesn’t matter. I’ll give her one when she’s old enough to use it without hurting herself,” Liam said. 

“Morning practice?” Zayn asked, stuck on that detail. “Niall didn’t mention anything about-” Zayn broke off. Crap. 

“Asking about me, were you?” Liam asked with a smirk, popping the last of the bread into his mouth.

“Ah, well-”

“Just kidding. Niall wouldn’t know that I practice in the morning. He sleeps like the dead until mid-morning whenever he can. And when he does wake early it’s to go with the hunt or to go to Demi’s tent to work on their instruments,” Liam said. 

“Harry said you used a shovel to fend him off during our attack,” Zayn said, not looking at Liam. He still wasn’t sure if he was allowed to talk about that. Thankfully, Liam did not seem offended and continued their conversation. 

“I gave my staff to another family when we knew you were coming. They needed a better weapon and I knew that I could do well with another tool,” Liam said. 

“That was kind of you,” Zayn said quietly. Liam shrugged a shoulder, putting his empty plate aside. 

“He had a young wife and a son to protect and he was but a farmer, I did what I could. And now they live in your clan,” Liam said. Zayn breathed out, relieved for selfish reasons that the family had survived. But wait-

“Weren't you but a farmer as well?” Zayn asked. Liam looked to him and gestured to the cart. 

“Of course not. I thought you knew I was a horseman and a leather trader?” Liam asked glibly. 

“You know that’s not what I meant,” Zayn grumbled. Liam took Zayn’s empty plate from him and stacked it on his own before moving to exit the wagon. He paused at the edge, looking back at Zayn. 

“I was never a farmer,” he said, slipping off to wash the plates. 

“And Gods forbid you tell me what you actually were,” Zayn said to no one. With a sigh he heaved his body up and out of the tent after Liam, opening the wagon skins again and preparing to sell. Before Liam had returned with the clean plates, he was engaged by a group of fierce looking women who wanted a look at Aiden’s scarves and happened to have a lot of tar for sale. He launched himself into the debate. Next to him, he could hear Liam getting similar interest in his horses. 

One group of women became another, and then there was a surly looking man that didn’t buy anything and flounced off. He was replaced by several other visitors, keeping Zayn busy as he marketed his wares. When he had time, he looked up to find Liam talking confidently about his horses and Lily playing games by herself or with a little black-eyes girl who had come with her father to peddle mystical ointments. The day moved smoothly, and soon enough it was time to pack up the wagon for nightfall and find a place to sleep. The wagon would be safe from thieves overnight as the area was patrolled thickly with city guards. And the punishment for thievery was the loss of a limb. Trade was the basis of the city’s economy, and they protected it fiercely. 

Zayn bade farewell to a last visitor and began to shut up the wagon for nightfall. Liam similarly ended his conversation and said goodnight, as well as goodbye to a pretty roan mare who walked away obediently with her new owner. 

“Ready to find lodging?” Zayn asked. Liam nodded, and looked down, biting his lip. He began to feed the horses.

“Zayn,” Liam said cautiously, making him curious. 

“What is it?” he asked. 

“I have a friend who lives in the city and owns an inn where we might find lodging. Do you mind if we try there first?” he asked. Zayn’s brow furrowed. 

“Of course not. That’s fine. Why didn’t you mention it earlier?” he asked. 

“I wasn’t sure if it was a good idea,” he said, finishing with the horses and putting his feed bucket to the side. 

“Why not?” he asked. 

“Andy has a big mouth,” Liam said. Zayn’s expression changed to understanding. 

“And you think he’s going to tell me things that you don’t want to share,” he said. 

“Yes,” Liam said honestly. 

“And if I promised to keep what he may or may not say to myself?” he asked. 

“I would like that very much,” Liam replied. 

“Well, then. Lead the way. I’m dying for a bath and a hot meal,” he said, ushering Liam forwards. Liam nodded, clearly relieved and went to gather Lily. Already, Zayn could see the flow of red guards moving into the streets and inspecting permits, one hand by the scabbard of their curved blades at all times. Seeing them, Lily was quick to abandon her whining that she would like to stay and play with her new friend. Pale faced, she gripped Liam’s hand tightly as he began to walk. 

It was easier to move through the streets without the horses, and Liam moved easily ahead of him through the dispersing crowd. He followed closely as they walked down several roads and stopped when Liam did in front of a well-lit inn. 

“The Samuels’ Inn?” he said to Liam. Liam nodded, and went to enter. Zayn followed and closed the door behind him. 

Inside, the inn was bustling with people at tables and around a bar. Zayn looked around to find the innkeeper, and failing that, tried to catch the eye of the barkeep. After helping a last patron, the barkeep looked up at their party and gasped. 

“Liam!” he shouted, hoping over the bar between a pair of heavy-set guests and bounding up to them and pulling Liam into a tight embrace. Liam returned the gesture just as tightly, eyes closing as he rested his head on the other man’s shoulder. 

“Hello Andy,” Liam mumbled into the man’s neck. Zayn stood back, unsure of his place. Did he introduce himself and interrupt him? The thought seemed impolite, but Liam’s outward show of joy at seeing his friend was making him restless. He hadn’t seen Liam react that way towards anyone before. Before he could do anything, the man pulled back, still grasping Liam by the shoulders. 

“It’s good to see you, man! When you didn’t come by last month for the fair I assumed the worst, especially with slavers being more aggressive than ever in the desert. You haven’t missed that fair in years, at least not since you came to your new village,” Andy said. Zayn felt a pang of regret that he hadn’t noticed anything sooner and had caused this disconnect to occur. But, he admitted, seeing Liam’s own hands hold tight to Andy’s waist, it was only a small pang. He coughed, breaking the spell. 

“And this must be Lily?” Andy asked, leaning down but not moving to touch her. Lily nodded, feeling shy. 

“Lily, this is my friend Andy. Do you remember me talking about him?” Liam asked her. She nodded again, murmuring a hello. Andy turned to Zayn and looked him up and down. 

“And who’s this attractive fellow. Don’t tell me you’ve gotten yourself mated at last?” Andy asked. Zayn shook his head while Liam reddened. 

“No!” he insisted, making Zayn want to die a little, “It’s not like that. Zayn is. Well,” he paused, giving Andy’s leering face a look before turning to Zayn again. “Zayn is a member of my new clan.” Andy’s leer changed to confusion. 

“New clan? And not mated in? Don’t tell me you left – you loved that place,” Andy said. Zayn wanted to die a little more. 

“I, um, I didn’t leave. We were taken. By Zayn’s clan,” Liam said. Andy’s face dropped. 

“Oh Liam. Again?” he asked. Liam nodded. What?

“What?” Zayn asked out loud. 

“Liam here has been conquered more times than anyone that I know. What does this make it, Liam? Is this number five or six?” he asked. 

“Six,” Liam answered. Zayn stared at him. Six times? That was borderline impossible. And to have survived each time? Liam must be both very lucky and very unlucky at the same time. 

Suddenly he remembered Liam’s face at the raid and felt cold. 

“No wonder you had that face when we took your village,” he said. The two of them dropped their arms and looked at him in question. 

“What face?” Liam asked. 

“You looked different than the others. That’s why I approached you. You looked bored by us, not frightened or even angry,” Zayn admitted. Liam, to his surprise, laughed. 

“Did I? Guess I wasn’t thinking about it. But yes, you are definitely not the most frightening warriors I have ever seen,” he said, eyes going dark before clearing again with what looked like a conscious effort. “Though that does explain it – I’ve been wondering why you chose me to talk to on that day.” Zayn wanted to ask him so many things. How had he survived so long? What had happened to him?

“I’m hungry,” Lily said, breaking into their conversation. Andy brightened, happy to move onto happier topics. 

“I’m sure you are, sweet. My cook Isa makes the best rolls I bet you’ve ever tasted. Would you like to try some?” he asked. 

“Yes, please,” Lily said. 

“Andy, can you spare a room tonight? Or this week?” Liam asked, before Lily could be whisked away into the kitchens. 

“Of course I’ll set you up for the week. I’ve got just the thing. One bed alright?” he asked. Liam looked to Zayn who nodded. They’d been sharing a small tent for three nights already – a large bed would be all the space they needed. 

“Alright then. Lara!” he shouted the last and a pretty girl with blonde hair looked up from where she was placing plates in front of guests seated at a table. 

“Yes?” she asked, wiping her hands on her apron before coming to meet them. 

“Can you show these three to the corner room upstairs? You know the one. And have baths readied for them too, please,” Andy said. 

“Of course,” she agreed, smiling at the three of them before turning and leading them towards the stairs. 

“Wait a moment- Andy!” Liam called back to his friend as he turned to the bar. 

“Yeah?” 

“Can you send up our dinners as well? We just travelled in today and I for one am eager to sleep as soon as I’m clean. I’m eager to catch up as well, but maybe in the morning when it will be less busy?” he asked. Andy nodded. 

“Will do,” Andy said. “It’s just really good to see you, mate,” he added. Liam smiled. 

“Same here. Goodnight, Andy,” he said, turning to follow Lara up the steps. Zayn and Lily nodded their goodbyes as well and followed Liam. 

“Here it is,” Lara said, taking a key from her pocket to open the door before giving it to Liam. A look inside showed a roomy space with a separate door leading to the bathroom, and a comfortable looking bed in the center. 

“Perfect, thank you,” Liam said. 

“I’ll be right back with your dinner and then me and the other girls will set up the first bath,” she said, turning to go. 

Liam closed the door behind her and began to take off his shoes. Zayn and Lily did the same. When Lily finished, she ran to the bed and took a leap onto the mattress.

“Liam, it’s so soft! Why don’t we do this at home?” she asked, rolling on the mattress with a happy expression. 

“Wouldn’t be very practical to carry them around,” Liam said, pulling off his leather overshirt and riding pants. Zayn tried to do the same, though most of his attention focused on the way the collar of Liam’s shirt was stretched to expose a nice collarbone, and the way his pants had been tugged down to expose a strip of flat tummy and a band of dark hair. Liam, to his embarrassment, noticed his difficulty and began to help him out of his clothes. His fingers worked nimbly on the laces on his armbands and at his hips. 

“You must be more tired than you thought,” Liam said, not looking up from the laces. 

“Yeah,” Zayn said thickly. 

“Can we buy one? Please Liam?” Lily asked, oblivious to Zayn’s struggles. 

“No sweetheart,” Liam said, pulling at the edge of Zayn’s overshirt and pulling it up and over his head. 

“Thanks,” Zayn said, moving to pull off his riding pants. As much as he would like Liam’s help with those, he really did not need to get his cock hard in front of Liam and Lily. 

“You’re welcome,” Liam said.

A knock at the door startled Zayn and he turned to answer it. Lara stood there with a couple other girls carrying plates and buckets. 

“Come in,” he said. They each passed him with a nod, setting plates down on the low table next to the bed and then continuing to the bath. He heard the splash of water entering the tub, and turned to seat himself by the table and help himself to a plate. Liam and Lily joined him and soon they sat down to eat. The maids left, pointing to a chain by the door that they should pull when they were ready for more water, explaining that they would keep a cauldron on boil until the last bath. Zayn was impressed with the service – most inns would have them share a bath so as not to waste water. He wondered if it was because Liam was a friend of Andy’s.

Dinner was good and simple, and just what Zayn needed after the long day. They ate in companionable silence, each absorbed with the food in front of them.

“You should take the first bath, Zayn. I bet Lily is going to want to take a while to see all the different soaps and things, and I can go after her,” Liam said.

“Okay,” Zayn said, agreeing easily. He was feeling sleepy and just wanted to get to bed. First bath would be perfect. He finished his plate, and stood up to dig in the small bag he had brought for a clean shirt and pants to wear to bed. Finding what he needed, he made his way into the bathroom and closed the door. 

He stripped his clothes quickly and walked into the bath, sighing in pleasure as the heat eased him bones. Looking at and smelling the assorted soaps, he found one that he liked and began to scrub himself, working his way first down his chest and legs, pausing to give his cock a few cursory tugs on the way back up. Unbidden, the image of Sander and Bran came back to mind, the pink shape of Sander’s mouth as he imagined it would look moving around Bran’s cock. Liam’s mouth, stretched wide around his own cock. He whimpered, and pulled on himself harder. Liam, on his knees, taking it, wanting it, sucking it down until his nose brushed the hair around the base of Zayn’s cock. He panted at the thought. Liam would look so good on his knees, looking at Zayn through his lashes, pleasing himself as he pleased Zayn. Or maybe he would join Zayn in the bath, sink onto his cock oh so sweetly-

A knock at the door startled him out of his thoughts and he pulled his hand from his cock as if it had bit him. 

“Zayn? Are you almost finished? Lily’s nodding off on me and I want to get her in the bath soon. Should I call for more water?”

“Ghflk,” Zayn said. 

“What was that?”

“I- um, yes. Go ahead. I’ll be right out!” he called back, head in his hands. At least the surprise had done a good job of lessening his erection, he thought shamefaced. He scrubbed the rest of himself quickly and washed his hair before climbing out of the bath and grabbing a towel. Wrapping himself in it tightly, he leaned into the bath and unplugged the drain, letting the water run down a pipe to be released outside. He pulled on his pants and shirt, using the towel to dry his hair. At least he could blame his red face on the heat of the bath, he thought miserably. 

All too soon, another knock rapped on the door.

“Sir? May I come in with the water?” a female voice called. In answer, he opened the door and let her in, smiling guiltily at her as she and the other maids passed him to fill the bath. He went into the larger room, still toweling his hair. 

“Did you fall asleep in there?” Liam asked. He sounded as if he were smiling.

“Must have, sorry,” Zayn said through the towel, not yet ready to face him. 

“I’m going to show Lily where the soaps and things are if you want to go to sleep,” Liam told him. Zayn nodded and tossed the towel to the side. He pretended to yawn.

“I think I’ll do that, thanks,” Zayn said, looking at the bed instead of Liam and then crawling on top. As Lily had described, it was wonderfully soft. He pulled himself under the covers with a sigh. 

“Goodnight Zayn,” Liam said, walking towards the bathroom where Lily already must have been playing in the water if the splashes he could hear were anything to go by. 

“Goodnight Liam,” Zayn said, turning his face into the pillow. A door clicked and Zayn looked up to find the room to himself. He buried his face into the pillow once more and yelled in frustration and embarrassment. What had he been thinking? Liam could have walked in at any moment. Was he really so sex starved? His cock twitched in answer and he groaned again. 

Soon Lily and Liam would be in bed too. Liam, as he had in the tent, would lie between them so they would not touch on accident. He would feel the heat of Liam all along his back, feel the in and out of his chest as he breathed. He let out a long breath and resolutely did not touch himself. 

It was going to be a long night.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! Sorry this took a bit longer than my usual progress. I'm getting ready to move to a different country, so things are a bit hectic right now. I also imagined this chapter at ending at a further place, but then it started getting ridiculously long so I decided to split it in two chapters instead and post the second half once it's finished. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

They had been in Sevarre five days when their luck turned. 

The city had been good to them, so far. Their goods had traded well, and Liam had been able to sell all of his horses, and pick up four new beauties, including a handsome red stallion that he was very excited about. 

Liam clearly flourished in the city as well, and Zayn enjoyed watching him blossom. He seemed more comfortable in Sevarre than back at camp; Zayn recognized a certain ease to his shoulders, a smooth rolling gait when he walked. In recent days, he had even felt comfortable leaving Lily with Zayn to inquire about horses on his own. The staff that he had brought with him had stayed in the wagon ever since the Great Eastern Gate came into sight. 

When Zayn asked about his change in demeanor, Liam had shrugged and said that it was likely because Sevarre was the main constant in his life. He had come as a boy, and then again as a youth, and then as a man to perform his trade. Even as his villages and tribes had changed around him, the city stood tall and unchanging. Zayn had gone quiet then, thinking of a life spent moving from one set of hands and demands to another. 

Lily also clearly enjoyed city life. Zayn had thought she would be more wary, given the amount of people moving around and the increased likelihood of being touched by accident. But Liam kept an eagle’s eye on her at all times, and no such problems had occurred. She drank it all in – the different people and dress, the strange animals for sale, the pushy vendors, and the different luxuries that the city offered.

And Andy’s inn had been a gift. He gave them an outrageous discount on account of his friendship with Liam, saving them not only money but also the tedium of finding a decent place to sleep. Liam clearly enjoyed seeing his friend, and would awaken before Zayn each morning to spend some time talking with him in the kitchens while Lily learned how to make rolls from Isa. Zayn, not a morning person even on his best days, would wake to a cold bed and stumble down blearily sometime later and make himself tea. 

Waking up that first morning to an empty room had nearly scared him senseless. He had bolted awake and run downstairs in his sleep clothes, all but certain that Liam had left and taken Lily with him, that he had known about Zayn’s indecent thoughts and decided to leave when he had the chance. Or, even not knowing had planned to leave Zayn at this point all along. He had looked about, calling Liam’s name like some belligerent animal, and would have stormed into the streets to search had not Lara taken him by the elbow and steered him back behind the bar and into the kitchens. There Liam sat looking sleep-rumpled and lovely, and had asked why Zayn looked like he’d been having a fit and would he maybe like to get dressed and then come down for tea. 

Each morning, Zayn would watch Liam and Andy talk with each other and recount old stories that Zayn knew nothing of, women or men they had seen or been snubbed by, and adventures they had taken. He would fight down his jealousy at their closeness, taking a sip of tea whenever he wanted to say something biting. He wanted Liam to smile and laugh even if he wasn’t the cause. 

Nights at the inn were just as nice. After that first awkward night, Liam and Zayn fell into the pattern of eating their supper with Lily in their rooms after bidding Andy a quick goodnight. They each bathed after eating together, and Zayn insisted on going last each night, ostensibly so Lily could have hers before she began to fall asleep. In truth, Zayn needed the last bath to take himself in hand, as it were. After pleasing himself and doing his best not to think about Liam in the next room, he could fall asleep much easier even with Liam at his back. The mostly sleepless first night in the room had taught him to be more clever with his body and his desires. 

They were back at the inn that fifth night, breaking routine by eating downstairs with Andy while one of the girls ran bar, when Zayn felt the telltale rush of air that meant someone had entered the inn. Across from him, Liam and Andy both went white, and Liam immediately reached for Lily next to him. Zayn frowned, craning his neck behind him to take a look. He saw two men in dark cloaks by the door, numerous silver rings on their fingers making them look as though they sported claws. Odd, but not enough that it should make Liam look as though he’d seen a ghost. 

“What’re you-” Zayn started. 

“Fuck,” said Andy, looking to Liam. Zayn felt his eyebrows rise in surprise – they all did their best not to swear in front of Lily. Liam didn’t even react to the curse, just kept his stare on the two men. Lily looked between them.

“Liam? What is it?” she asked. Liam didn’t answer. 

“Do you want me to make them leave?” Andy asked Liam. Liam shook his head, reacting at last. 

“If you do that, there’ll only be more trouble than there would be if you served them. Go on,” Liam said. Andy rose reluctantly and greeted the men, giving them a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. As they turned to meet him, Zayn caught sight of the small yellow tags around their necks and his breath caught. 

“They’re-” 

“Slavers,” Liam said, voice cold. 

“What the hell are they doing here? They’re supposed to set up camp in the west,” he said, confused. Due to the mixed consensus about slaving, slave traders were regulated to the West Gate of Sevarre. Samuels’ Inn was planted in the northeast quadrant. 

“I don’t know. They probably came in the northern gate too late to find lodging elsewhere. Why they came in through the north is the better question. Up to nothing good, I’d warrant,” Liam said, eyes hard. 

“Liam?” Lily asked, voice frightened. He schooled his expression away from hateful and turned to her. 

“It’s okay sweetheart. I’m sorry if I scared you. They aren’t going to touch you, I promise,” Liam said. He brushed her hair away from her face with a smile. 

“Okay Liam,” she smiled shakily back. 

“Want to go up to our room, love? I just thought of a funny story that I like to tell to Safaa. I wanted to tell you last night but I forgot. Does that sound good?” he asked her. She nodded quickly and Liam shot him a grateful look. They moved to stand, signaling to one of the servers that they were finished. 

“No need to leave on our account,” a coarse voice said from behind them. The slavers had moved to sit at the table directly behind theirs in order to take their dinner. Zayn watched Liam stiffen. 

“It’s just time for us to sleep is all, no offense meant,” Zayn said with a careless smile. The man who had spoken looked them over critically, staring a little to long at Lily in a way that made the back of Zayn’s neck prickle. From the way every muscle in Liam’s body tightened, it was clear that he felt the same unease. 

“Now she’s a pretty little thing, isn’t she? She’d fetch you a good price. Girls always go for more, you know. Slave begets slave and the like,” he said. He smiled genially, as if imparting a compliment. Zayn wanted to gag. His partner stayed silent, eyes on Liam in a way that Zayn did not like. 

“She’s not for sale,” Liam said harshly. The first man threw up his hands in supplication. 

“Sure, sure. I can see you want to keep her for yourself, that’s fair,” he said. 

“Watch the way you speak about her,” Liam said angrily, hands clenched. The man laughed. 

“You sure are strung tight, aren’t you? Just making conversation,” he said. The second man rose and approached Liam, looking him up and down, but he spoke to Zayn. 

“This one ever been a slave? He has the look about him,” he said.

“No,” said Liam, looking him in the eye. Across from them, at the bar, Andy watched them with wide eyes. The man smirked.

“Oh Orin, that is a prize! A girl and a young man. Our friend,” the first man said with a nod at Zayn, “must be wealthy indeed to carry such expensive stock.” 

“I’m not a slave,” Liam insisted. Orin’s smirk turned into a sneer and then, in a movement of such complete rudeness it nearly took Zayn’s breath away, he grabbed the side of Liam’s shirt and began to tug it upwards, searching for the master’s brand that resided underneath a slave’s armpit. Before he knew what he was doing exactly, Zayn found his hand wrapped around the man’s wrist tight and his dagger at his throat. 

“Take your fucking hands off my mate,” Zayn enunciated as clearly as he could through clenched teeth. Orin released his hold and swallowed nervously. Mate rights were law everywhere. Offense taken to a mate was reason enough for a duel to be enacted, or for a case to be brought to a temple of the Mother for more civilized retribution. 

“Easy there, fella, no offense was meant. He just has the look of a slave that has been whipped too many times to fear it anymore- whoa, whoa easy there!” he said as Zayn pushed Orin around and into the wall, dagger still at his throat. 

“Tell your friend that he needs to work on his apologies,” Zayn hissed. Orin nodded at him, wincing in pain when Zayn’s blade dug into his neck at the movement. 

“I’m sorry, sir. Clearly we were mistaken. It won’t happen again,” Orin said.

“See that it doesn’t,” he said. 

“I think you can let him go now, lad, we’ve learned our lesson,” the other man said warily from behind him. Zayn leaned in to Orin and put his mouth by the man’s ear. 

“If you touch him again, I’ll gut you and let him watch while you try and hold in your intestines. You understand me?” he said softly. Orin nodded. Zayn stepped back and released him with a long look. The other man slunk away back to his table, rubbing his throat and looking back at Zayn hatefully. 

Zayn turned a look towards Andy and found that he and all his patrons were staring at him. He put his blade away and felt the general collapse of tension in the room. 

“Tell the girls not to bother with bath tonight, okay?” he said. Andy nodded mutely and Zayn turned back to Liam. He found him holding Lily, eyes on Zayn. Taking a breath, Zayn walked towards the pair and took Liam by the hips, inspecting him with his eyes as any loving mate might. Liam looked back at him, eyes still tight and angry. He eased an arm protectively around Liam’s back, turning him to the stairs. 

“Ready for bed, love? I seem to remember that I have a story for you,” Zayn said to Lily. She turned a pale face from Liam’s chest to nod at him shakily. 

“Okay Zayn,” she said. He guided the two of them upstairs.

Once in the room, Liam directed Lily to the bathroom to change into her nightclothes and wash her face with the bucket of water that the maids brought each morning. As soon as she had shut the door, Liam turned to him, looking serious. 

“I want to leave tomorrow morning,” he said. Something in the tone of his voice told Zayn it would not be worthwhile to argue with him. And if he was honest with himself, he wanted the protection of his mother’s army at his back again. The night’s entertainment had made him anxious for a safe haven. He nodded his assent.

“You rise the earliest, so just wake me when you are ready to pack up and leave. We’ll say our goodbyes to Andy and be on our way,” Zayn said calmly. More of the tension left Liam’s shoulders and he sagged forward, head landing on Zayn’s shoulder. Zayn carefully enclosed him with his arms and held him tightly. 

“You played quite the hero tonight, clansman. However, I don’t remember accepting your mating claim,” he said, the words muffled into Zayn’s shoulder. Zayn felt his ears begin to burn, though he rejoiced a little at the return of Liam’s usual humor. 

“Shut up. It was the first thing that came to mind that I figured he would respect,” Zayn grumbled. Liam laughed shortly, before a great shudder overtook him and he drew back. He straightened himself with a visible effort. 

“We should get ready for bed. We’ve a long day ahead of us,” Liam said. Zayn nodded and began to pull off his leathers. Lily took that moment to come out of the bathroom and hop onto the bed, tucking herself in. 

“Will you still tell me that story, Zayn?” Lily asked.

“I sure will, love. Just as I promised. I’m going to wash up in the bathroom and then I’ll be out again, okay?” he said. She nodded sleepily. He relieved himself quickly in the bathroom and washed his face and hands, taking a moment to collect himself. 

When he saw that man reach for Liam, rage had threatened hot and red in his mind. He wanted to _hurt_ him. He still did. He breathed deeply in and out, in and out. Liam would not appreciate a raging savage telling a story to his girl. 

Feeling in control of himself, he walked back into the room to find Liam stroking Lily’s hair and talking to her quietly. He sat on the other side of Lily on the bed and she smiled at him.

“Are you ready for that story, sweet girl?” he asked. She nodded, and Zayn watched Liam stand up and make his way to the bathroom. 

“Well, this story begins once upon a time long, long ago, and it is the story of a girl named Cecily who was in love with another girl named Marie,” he said. She listened, eyes attentive if sleepy. He had told this story a thousand times to Waliyha and Safaa when they were growing up, and he had heard it a thousand more growing up. 

As the story went, Marie was a beautiful girl who loved beautiful things, even when they were not practical. Cecily was a plain girl with enormous ears who was dreadfully in love with Marie. When the rains came and Marie’s beautiful umbrella tore to shreds, Cecily kept Marie dry by holding her ears over her head. When Marie got lost in the woods using her lovely little map, Cecily heard her cries with her amazing hearing and came to her rescue. And so went their friendship until Cecily confessed her love and Marie, repulsed, cast her away. In time she learned the error of her ways and the beauty of character, but not before encountering many funny pitfalls along the way. 

Lily laughed at all the right places and smiled as he finished the story. 

“Thanks Zayn,” she said, closing her eyes. He sat with her until she drifted into sleep, her breathing evening out. He stood carefully so as not to wake her, and walked around the bed and slipped under the covers, reaching out to turn off the lantern as he did so. 

He closed his eyes to sleep, feeling the last hour catch up with him at last, before opening his eyes again in confusion. Something was wrong. The bed was shaking? No, that wasn’t right. 

It was Liam who was shaking.

“Liam?” he whispered. 

“I can’t let them take her. I promised to take care of her. I won’t let them take her away. Gods, why did I leave my staff in the wagon? I’m just begging for something bad to happen,” Liam babbled. Zayn edged himself closer until they lay chest to back, a scant half inch of room between their bodies. Carefully he lifted his arm and tucked it around Liam under the covers. Liam took his hand and Zayn tried to retract it, worrying he had overstepped, but Liam just held it tightly. Zayn pulled himself snug behind Liam so no distance separated them at all. 

“I’ll die before I let them take her. Or you, Liam,” he said to Liam’s neck. 

“You may not be able to stop it,” Liam said, pushing back into the embrace. 

“Then I’ll track them down and kill all of them to take you back,” Zayn said, feeling the rage from before build inside of him and lace his words with ominous promise. 

“That’s rather bloodthirsty of you,” Liam said after a pause. 

“What can I say, I’ve gotten rather attached to you,” he said. Liam turned, letting go of Zayn’s hand to allow it to rest on Liam’s scarred back instead. 

“I hate slavers, Zayn. They’re always looking, always wanting,” Liam said quietly. Feeling brave, Zayn traced the line of a scar with his forefinger. Liam shivered. 

“I know, Liam. We’ll keep her safe,” Zayn said. 

“Just the idea of her being one of those hollow-eyes girls that they yank around, iron heavy around her neck-” 

“Shhh. Not going to happen. You’re part of the Malik clan now, Liam. We hold tight to our own,” Zayn said. He couldn’t see Liam’s eyes, but he felt as if Liam was staring in his direction carefully. Liam’s hand lifted, landing on Zayn’s shoulder and traveling up his neck to cup his face. 

“You’re very odd, for a clansman,” Liam said. 

“Blasphemy. I’m pretty sure you’re the oddest clansman I’ve ever met,” Zayn said, sure Liam could feel his cheeks pulling back at his grin. Liam snorted. 

“Not a clansman,” Liam answered. Zayn turned his head to bite playfully at the hand on his face and Liam made a soft noise in surprise. 

“Not a farmer, not a clansman. Any chance you’ll let me know what you are?” Zayn asked.

“Maybe someday, if you’re very lucky,” Liam joked, but Zayn recognized the undercurrent truth there. 

“I look forward to that day,” he said. Liam was quiet, the room silent but for their breathing. A minute passed, and then another. Zayn stroked his hand down Liam’s back, resting at his waist where most of the scars began, though some continued past his waistband where Zayn could not go. He traced the scars from start to finish, moving up beneath Liam’s shirt to do so, imagining that he could take them away with his touch and make Liam whole again. 

“Zayn?” Liam asked, startling Zayn into stillness. He had assumed that Liam was asleep. 

“Yes Liam?” he asked.

“We can’t let her be taken,” Liam said again. Zayn started tracing the scars once more. 

“We won’t,” he said seriously. He’d seen slaves a couple of times in his life, either in dealing with other tribes or accidentally in the market. They all looked the same, beaten and blank of expression. 

His mother hated slaving, and had told Zayn it was something she would never practice in their tribe. She told him that once, when she was a girl traveling with Zayn’s grandmother to talk to a council of local tribes, she had encountered a chieftan that held a slave on a gold chain like a prized pet. Trisha told him that the slave’s eyes frightened to her as a young girl. They held a look that she would later recognize as that of someone with nothing to live for but hatred. 

When the council crossed the long bridge over the river Uroch to reach the Mother’s temple at Lio, the slave had wrapped the chain around his master’s neck and jumped over the bridge, downing himself and his attached master into the ravine in an instant. His master had screamed as he fell, but the slave had only laughed, a terrible sound. His mother had watched, unable to look away, as they fell together down and down, gold glinting in the sunlight until it vanished into the river. 

The story gave him nightmares as a boy, and even now it made him uneasy. His mother told him to explain why they had to do their own washing and hunting, why there would never be people to do that for him. 

He recalled Orin saying that Liam’s eyes looked like a slave’s. He could only imagine that he meant the hateful look of the slave who laughed as he died, not the vacant slave expressions that Zayn was used to seeing. He pulled Liam tightly to him, making Liam struggle sleepily against him. 

“Zayn? What is it?” Liam asked. Zayn relaxed his grip forcefully. 

“Nothing, sorry. Just a nightmare. Go back to sleep,” he said. Liam stopped struggling, and mumbled something softly before heading back to sleep. 

Zayn attempted to follow his own advice, head burying into the pillow to prepare for sleep. He slept restlessly, however, waking several times in the night to images of Liam throwing himself into the Uroch laughing, gold chain looped around his neck and tying him to Zayn who screamed and reached for Liam as they fell. 

He finally drifted into a deeper sleep in the very late hours of the night, only aware that he had slept at all when he woke to the feel of someone shaking him awake. He opened his eyes blearily to find Liam looking down at him, a hand at his shoulder. Cool light filtered in through the room’s window, enough for him to register that Liam looked tired and drawn. A troubled night for the both of them, then. 

“Time to go, Zayn,” Liam said. Zayn nodded and rose out of bed with a stretch. A glance around found Lily tugging on her shoes by the door. Liam was fully dressed, one hand clutching his overnight bag. 

“I’m going to go down and say goodbye to Andy and let Lily say her farewells to Isa. Meet us in the kitchen when you’re dressed?” Liam asked, taking Lily out the door when Zayn nodded. 

He looked out the window and groaned. It was barely dawn. 

But he had to admit to feeling spooked, his instincts all insisting that he leave now before they wore out their welcome. 

He dressed quickly and grabbed his belongings before following Liam and Lily out the door and down into the kitchens. Liam and Andy were embracing when he arrived, both pairs of eyes suspiciously damp. Lily watched Isa pack sweet buns and scones into a large basket. Liam and Andy eventually let go with murmured assurances that they would be well and see each other soon. 

Then Andy turned to Zayn and offered him a hand that he shook easily. Before he could let go, however, Andy gripped him tight.

“Take care of those two,” he said. Liam grumbled something about not needing a minder, but Andy’s eyes stayed on Zayn. 

“I will,” Zayn said, with a look to Liam. “As long as he lets me,” he added with a smirk. Liam scoffed. 

“You argue with a man on horseback _one time_ and he thinks that he knows you,” Liam joked, shaking his head. Andy smiled then and released him

“Safe journey you three. And Liam, I’ll see you in four months or I’m sending the hounds after you, you hear?” Andy said, pointing a scolding finger at Liam.

“Yes, mother,” Liam said dutifully. Andy, good natured as he was, just laughed. Finishing her goodbyes, Lily came over to Liam and grabbed his hand, smiling at Andy. With a last nod at Andy, Zayn led the way out the door and onto the street. 

The streets were quiet, but not deserted. Similarly sleepy looking townspeople or traders moved through the streets. Few even spared them a glance as they moved their way quickly through the winding streets to find their wagon. 

Once they reached it, Liam immediately went in and grabbed his staff and holster, shoulders loosening in obvious relief once it was attached. As a next order of business, he helped Lily into the wagon and instructed her to finish her sleep on the remaining furs. As she snuggled in and almost immediately began to drift off, Zayn felt a twinge of jealously. Liam snorted at the look on his face. 

“Enough of that. They’ll be plenty of time for sleeping once we get back. Give me a hand feeding the horses and make sure they each take a long drink before we set off,” Liam said, reaching for where he had stashed the oats. 

Zayn grabbed a bucket from the camp next door and helped divide the feed and water the horses. They nickered at him nervously, unsure at why they were being woken so soon, but eager enough to fill their bellies with breakfast. Zayn soothed them as he worked, lulled himself by Liam doing the same with soft words and touches on strong shoulders and necks. 

After feeding and watering the beasts, Zayn helped Liam attach them to the wagon and then climbed aboard his horse as Liam did the same. 

“We’ll have to return the permit at the temple, but then we can head out. Any preference for which gate you’d like?” he asked. The temple was just about in the center of the city, and if Liam was edgy then, perhaps he would like to try a different route than the one they had taken in. 

“Let’s stick to the East Gate. It’ll be the most direct and put us back hom- well, put us back at camp faster,” Liam said. Zayn felt warm – Liam had almost called his camp _home_. Noting his look at the slip, Liam rolled his eyes. 

“Plenty of time to be smug later, Zayn. Let’s get going,” he said. 

“Sure, sure. Anything you say - _clansman_ ,” he said. Liam gave him a look that spoke volumes and urged his horse into a walk. Zayn chuckled shortly and followed, keeping an even pace with Liam as they migrated through the main streets to the white temple. 

A red guard stood by the front flanked by two others, but this time no other traders waited for his attention and Liam and Zayn brought their wagon to him. As they had done five days earlier, they dismounted their horses and bowed their respect. 

“Name your business,” the guard said flatly. 

“Returning our permit,” Zayn said, proffering up the document. He took it in a gloved hand and scanned it, mouth a straight line. 

“Why have you decided to leave early?” he asked. Zayn paused. He’d never had to answer that question before and was unsure how to respond. Telling the guard that they were leaving because of an uneasy feeling seemed ridiculous. 

“Uh,” he said, swallowing. 

“I proposed the mating claim and he,” Liam said, with a nod to Zayn, “accepted. We’ve finished most of our trading and decided to go back early to perform the ceremony with our families.” Liam smiled bashfully, every inch the happy mate-to-be. Zayn, for his part, was sure he was doing a perfect impression of a gobsmacked traveler. He tried to recover. 

“Right. Can’t wait another day to, um, to tell my mother the good news,” he said, stilting in his speech. 

The guard seemed not to notice their inconsistent charade, thankfully. Zayn spared a brief thought to wonder if guards were mated. And from there, his brain irretrievably dived into thoughts of how strange their sex lives must be. He grimaced. 

“Acceptable,” the guard said. Zayn and Liam bowed again and moved to mount their horses. 

“Wait,” the guard said. 

“We will search your wagon before you depart,” the guard said, halting them. Liam hauled a sleeping Lily into his arms just before the leftmost guard peeled away from his leader and walked behind the wagon to climb inside. Zayn felt his usual distaste with the careless inspection of his wares and couldn’t help but tense. He half expected the man to find something and delay their progress further, even though he knew there was nothing to find. 

After what felt like hours, the guard slipped out of their wagon.

“Nothing out of place,” he said to his companion. The first man gave a stiff nod. 

“Be on your way,” he said. Not needing to be told twice, Liam eased Lily back into the wagon and mounted his horse again. 

He and Zayn walked to the East Gate in silence, Zayn feeling a sense of unease that rarely touched him in the city. Not only had the guards left their typical bad taste in his mouth, but to his left Liam gave him additional reason for his disquiet with the tension that thrummed through his body. His horse beneath him had her ears pinned in response, and Zayn watched Liam try and comfort his animal with a hand at her neck. Zayn frowned. He looked a bit haggard this morning, but he had assumed that Liam had had a long night as he had, not that he was harboring other fears.

“What’s wrong?” he asked after watching Liam subtly try and look around himself twitchily for the fifth time. Liam, to his credit, did not bother pretending that nothing was amiss. 

“I don’t know exactly. Something just feels wrong,” he said slowly.

“Wrong? Wrong how?” Liam shook his head and gave him an apologetic smile. 

“I couldn’t say for sure. Maybe I’m still just riled from the other night. I just feels like- no. No, I’m being daft,” he said, making a face at himself and making a visible effort to shake the stiffness out of his muscles. 

“Just tell me, Liam,” he said, concern not lessening at the display. Still, Liam hesitated. 

“Liam,” he said sternly. Liam bit his lip and leaned towards him.

“It feels like we are being followed,” he said quietly, leaning away. Zayn felt immediate chills up his arms and back – it took every ounce of self control not to whip around and search for a lurking figure or a set of eyes.

“What would anyone want with us?” he asked, hand going unbidden to the dagger at his side and then slipping past to pretend to adjust his seat. As crazy as it sounded, if they were indeed being followed it was probably best not to advertise that they were aware. 

“Young healthy girls catch a fair price in the west,” Liam said flatly, repeating the slaver’s sentiment from the night before. 

“Isn’t that a lot of trouble for one girl?” Zayn insisted. Beside him, Liam shrugged. 

“What trouble? We’re two men, alone, and we have a girl and goods to protect as well. If they have the right numbers or confidence we could look like easy pickings. Your mother’s tribe is growing in notoriety, but you pick your prisoners- sorry, sorry!” Liam said with a brief smile at the sharp look Zayn sent him, “You pick up your new _clanspeople_ from all over the east side, so you don’t have a clear look. Your dagger and dress speaks to you being a warrior, but of what caliber? Don’t look at me like that. _I’m_ not doubting you, you ponce. I’m just telling you what we look like to an observer and explaining why they might just take that chance,” he said, looking Zayn over. “You really might want to talk to your mother about making a standard uniform for your endeavors outside your clan,” he said, brow furrowed. 

“My mother likes to promote freedom of expression,” he said stiffly. He liked not having to wear a uniform, thank you very much. Liam smiled at the look on his face.

“That would explain your hair, then,” he teased. Zayn’s hand immediately moved to touch the dark strands. 

“What about my hair?” he asked, trying for cool and coming out whiny instead. Liam laughed and Zayn pulled his hand down self-consciously. 

“Nothing, nothing. Just seems very, ah, expressive,” Liam asked. 

“I’ve never had any complaints before,” Zayn said, trying not to pout and mostly failing. 

“Stop digging for compliments. You know you look just fine,” Liam said with a huff. 

“Just fine?” Zayn asked, pout turning into something more cheeky. 

“Yes. Just fine,” Liam said, not giving an inch. He looked around himself again in guise of checking on the wagon. Zayn’s smile dropped at the reminder, humor fading.

“You really think so?” he asked. Liam did not ask him what about. 

“Yes,” he said. 

The little dwellings that skirted the Eastern Gate where diminishing in number. Soon they would be in open desert. 

“Well, if we do have company, it will be easy to see them coming in the clearing. As long as they don’t catch us by surprise or overwhelm us with a large party, we will be fine,” he said with certainty he did not entirely feel. He had been attacked by brigands before, of course. But that was usually the product of opportunity. It was a completely different sensation to be preyed upon. He thought to Lily, quiet in the wagon and likely planning to awake soon. It was all too easy to imagine her waking to the sounds of fighting, to unfamiliar hands trying to grab her roughly. 

“We’ll have to stop sometime, and the horses will need water,” Liam said, thinking. 

“Do you want to stop at the little oasis we used on the way in?” Zayn asked. Liam shrugged.

“We don’t have much choice about it,” he said. “If we’re lucky there might be people there that we can use as camouflage,” he said. Zayn found himself praying for other travelers. 

Hours later, as they approached the oasis, he found that his prayers were unanswered – the pool of water was empty and quiet when they approached it. Lily had awoken hours ago and he heard the noises of her playing cease as they halted the wagon. 

“Lily, love, we are just making a quick stop to water the horses. You can come out and play if you like, but keep close, okay? We’re going to try and cover a lot of ground today,” Zayn said. Lily popped her face out of the wagon to nod at him vaguely. He and Liam dismounted quickly, and Liam gave Lily a hand out of the wagon. 

“You heard Zayn, Lily. No wandering off,” Liam said. She frowned. 

“Why not?” she asked him. Zayn looked at her closely. Despite being generally good natured, she was still a little girl, and a little girl that had been made to wake up early and leave a place where she was constantly offered new sights and entertainment. It was only logical that she would be a bit cranky and bored. He only wished she would not act so when he and Liam were in such a hurry. Next to him, Liam let out a long breath and rubbed at his eyes with his hand. Lily’s frown deepened

“Zayn, do you mind watering the horses? I need to talk to Lily real quick,” Liam said. 

“But you wanted to hurry-“

“Zayn. Just. Please water the horses. I’ll be over to help you in a moment.” In the effort not to waste any more time, Zayn turned to do as he was bid, the idea of sitting out in the open like they were making him feel fidgety and ill tempered. He listened to Liam’s conversation with half and ear, removing the attachments to the wagon and pulling the horses to the water, one line at a time. He knelt by the water and washed his face and hands, before returning to the wagon to top off their water stores. He was grabbing their canteens when he froze. Was Liam telling Lily about _bandits_?

“…worried that they might try and hurt us or take us, Lily. I know you don’t want to travel and you were having such fun in Sevarre, but we need to travel quickly,” Liam was saying, Lily looking scared and nodding along. Zayn jumped out of the wagon in shock. 

“Liam! What the hell are you doing?” he asked. What was he thinking telling her such things? Liam sighed and promptly ignored him. 

“Lily. You remember when I promised to keep you safe? And how I’ve kept that promise?” he asked. She nodded, clearly remembering things that Zayn was not privy to. 

“Oi!” Zayn called, not to be ignored. Liam had the gall to hold up a hand to stop him. Zayn fumed and contemplated the benefits of chucking one of the canteens at Liam’s face. 

“We will all be safe as long as we listen to each other and pay attention. Can you do that for me, brave girl?” Lily nodded, face still fearful but not, Zayn noted, on the verge of an untimely temper tantrum. She lunged at Liam and they hugged each other tightly. Feeling stupid and intrusive, Zayn stood and watched them until Lily let go of Liam and ran down to the water to talk to the horses. He rounded on Liam. 

“Why would you tell her that! You probably scared her witless!” Liam just gave him an annoyed look and tugged one of the canteens out of his hands. 

“You don’t understand,” he said, turning away as if he intended to follow Lily to the water. Zayn grabbed him by the elbow and Liam gave him a look that suggested he let go immediately. He did not.

“What do you mean? I have sisters, Liam. You can’t just tell children things like that. It’s cruel,” he said. Liam looked down at Lily by the water, and then took a step forward and shoved Zayn into the wagon and held him there. Zayn yelped, grabbing at his arms, and Liam covered his mouth with a hand. Zayn looked at him, allowing it but furious. 

“You don’t understand because you have never lived somewhere without warriors and had to worry about defending your own. You’ve never had to wonder who was going to save you, always confident that you could do it or your mother certainly would. I’m honest with Lily because it could save her life if she knows what’s happening ahead of time rather than in the moment. I know I scared her, but I also made her more aware. So don’t you fucking talk to me about what I can and cannot tell her,” he said, taking his hand away. 

“She’s just a kid, Liam! I may not have ever lived without the strength weapons at my back, but I know what is like to have a young person look to you. Do you want to teach her to be afraid of every shadow?”

“I want to teach her to be smart, and to survive. You’ve been a big brother your whole life, congratulations. You’ve also had a mother and father and a host of people to look out for you and your siblings. Lily has no one but me, and she has had no one but me for four years. Don’t act like you have any idea what that responsibility is like,” he said. 

“She doesn’t just have you anymore, Liam,” Zayn said. Liam just looked at him and Zayn felt his anger boil over. “I know you like to trust me only when it’s convenient to you, but I told you last night that I would die for her and I don’t actually just say that as casually as you seem to think. I care about you, both of you-“ Liam huffed out a laugh and looked away, back down the way they had come. 

“You barely even know me,” he said. Zayn glared. 

“You- you- I don’t even know. What is wrong with you? These last weeks? All the conversations we’ve had? Even the Liam of eight hours ago was different than the Liam of right now. Why do you keep pushing me away?” Zayn whisper-shouted with a glance down at Lily by the water. Liam released him and walked took a step away from the oasis, the line of his back tense. 

“Don’t you walk away from me, asshole! We are’nt done,” Zayn said, following him.

“We’re going to have to be done. We can’t waste any more time,” Liam said, still looking away. Zayn spluttered. 

“You can’t just act like that and-“

“Zayn, look,” Liam said, voice too calm. He pointed back into the desert. Zayn looked.

“What are you talking about? I don’t see-“ he started, and then stopped abruptly. He did see. He saw the dark shape of something far away on the flat sand. Something moving. 

They were being followed. 

“We need to gather the horses and leave. Now,” Liam said, turning into Zayn. Zayn, whose heart had stopped upon seeing that shape in the distance, felt it pick up again in double time. 

“But we can’t know that they’re after us, Liam. They could just be other travelers going the same way,” he said, hoping. Liam began to walk briskly to the horses and Zayn trailed behind. 

“But you don’t really believe that, do you Zayn?” Liam called behind him. Zayn couldn't argue. He wanted to believe that they were travelers, he did, but they were moving too fast. No one traveled that fast in the hot sun unless they hoped to meet their destination quickly. 

Or their target. 

Zayn felt his gut clench in cool certainty. 

Liam was right – it was different this time. Local groups had attacked the Malik clan before, of course, but they rarely got far within the main gate posts before the Malik warriors had overtaken them. His mother never took all her warriors on a raid – men and women were always left behind to protect the clan. Doniya, being next in line for chiefdom, never went with Trisha on raids in case they were attacked at home and she needed to lead. Once Waliyha was old enough to hold the mantle of leadership, Doniya would attend the raids with Trisha to learn their ways. 

He had watched his friends as they fought, but they were all capable warriors. Even Niall on his worst days at least knew how to care for himself or to run from a fight he could not win. He had never had to protect a youngster before, or anyone that was not trained to fend for themselves.

He watched Liam walk quickly to the lake and take hold of one line of horses, pausing only to reach down and scoop Lily under one arm and make her laugh. He felt a deep ache in his chest and in that moment wanted nothing more than to keep them safe. A deep breath in, and he was ready to move. 

He filled the canteens quickly, giving Lily a wink as he passed her on his way down, and placed them back in the wagon quickly. Soon, Lily was seated securely in the wagon and all horses were attached. Zayn took a look back at the shape. Dark and blurry, it still looked far away. But it was moving closer every second. He turned back to Liam and gave him a nod. 

“You set the pace – you know better than I what they can handle in this heat. With the rate they’re moving, they’re probably not going to stop to water the horses in case they colic,” he said. Liam nodded and urged the horses into a brisk walk.

“They’re probably just planning on leaving their horses and taking ours when they take us,” Liam said bluntly. Zayn winced. 

They continued in silence, broken only by Lily asking question or making conversation to amuse herself. Zayn hoped that she didn't sense his stilted tone or the flatness of his smile. Liam, he gathered, had not told her about their tail – either in consideration of Zayn’s argument, which was doubtful, or because he had decided not to make issue of it unless they had to. 

The next hours were agonizing. 

They watched the road behind them constantly. Their time was good, but their pursuers were faster and gaining all the while. Their only option was to keep moving forward. Eventually, their followers would need to rest their horses. If he and Liam could ride through the night, they might be able to get a lead on them and make it back to the clan and safety. 

But their followers did not stop. They pursued them like a predator followed the scent of fresh blood, and every second that passed allowed Zayn to see them clearer. There were four riders, all wearing black – good odds if he and Liam could keep their heads about them. And if they didn't have Lily with them. 

He looked to Liam, taking in his profile and the tightness around his eyes and mouth. He was worried – he knew as well as Zayn that she could be easily grabbed in the distraction. Or killed. His heart squeezed. 

A thought came to him then. A thought that he hated at its first inception. He shoved it away, but it came back, nagging him and itching behind his ears until he faced it again. No, he couldn't.

Lily. Liam. Dead eyes staring sightlessly as they lay bloodied. Or alive, but only just, shackled to someone’s horse and sold to separate homes that would use them until they died.

He had to-

“Liam, stop,” Zayn said. Liam looked to him in surprise.

“What are you talking about? We need to move – and fast!” Liam said urgently. Zayn reached over and grabbed Liam’s reins, halting his mare despite Liam’s indignant noises of protest. 

“Just try to trust me, would you?” he asked. Liam stopped trying to grab his reins back and searched his face. 

“Fine, but whatever you’re doing, be quick about it,” Liam said, voice pinched. 

“Help me turn the wagon so it’s facing north,” he said. Liam complied quickly and then looked at him again.

“Now what?” he asked. Even impatient and irritated, he was still unfairly beautiful. Zayn’s eyes traced the solid line of his jaw, obscured by stubble because he had not taken the time to shave that morning, before glancing up at his chapped lips and those fantastic eyes. Zayn felt his throat go tight and coughed to clear it. Now was not the time for sentiment. 

“I have a plan,” he said. 

“What are you talking about?” Liam asked, looking past him at the approaching figures. They were slower now, horses tired, but they still came ever closer. 

“I want you to take Lily and your horse and go,” he said, forcing the words out despite the contractions in his chest. Liam looked at him, irritation wiped by shock. 

“What?” he asked. 

“I’ll fight them at the wagon, hold them off for you. Our horse are tired, but not as tired as theirs. We’re still a day and a half from my mother’s camp, but if you take one set of saddle bags you should be fine for food and water if you’re careful,” he said. Liam just goggled at him. 

“What are you saying?” he asked. 

“I’m trying to save you! You and Lily. And this is how we do it. You go, and I stay. And if all goes well, I’ll see you again at camp,” he said. Or Liam would take Lily away and he would never see either of them again. Liam’s eyes searched his and Zayn knew he saw that awareness there by the way his own eyebrows rose. 

“You’re letting us go?” Liam said. 

“My life for yours, how many times do I have to tell you?” Zayn asked, a ghost of a smile playing on his lips. Liam looked back at him, incredulous. 

“You need to run,” he said again. Liam nodded, eyes still of his face. 

“Okay,” he said, voice soft. Zayn moved to dismount, paused, and looked up at Liam. This was maybe the last time he would see him. If there was ever a time to be selfish, it was now. 

He smiled at Liam fiercely, happy to know this man and to have cared for him. 

“One last thing,” he said, edging his horse in close to Liam’s and grabbing his face tight with both hands. “Just so I can say I did it once,” he added, eyes dropping down Liam’s face.

“Wha-“ Zayn covered Liam’s mouth with his and kissed him hard, lips moving desperately. Liam’s lips were slack in surprise and they felt as chapped and dry as they looked, but Zayn didn’t care. He pushed his tongue into Liam’s mouth, tasting him, memorizing him, before pulling back, nipping at Liam’s mouth as he went. He rested his forehead against Liam’s for a breath, two, three. He squeezed his eyes shut, breathing him in, and then let go, slipping from his saddle and onto the ground.

He looked up at Liam and took in his pink cheeks and open mouth, expression stuck between angry and confused and surprised. He wanted him terribly. He forced the feeling down enough that it did not feel so much as an open wound in his chest. He found himself smiling again. 

“I’m sorry. I’d just be kicking myself later if I never got to kiss you,” he said. He turned from Liam quickly and unhitched his horse. 

“Lily, sweetheart, can you grab one of the canteens and come out?” he called into the wagon. He felt Liam dismount behind him and, unable to resist, he stole another look and found Liam rubbing his mouth. Zayn felt a proprietary urge to bite Liam’s lips, to make him remember that Zayn had touched even after they lost sight of him beyond the horizon. 

“What’s going on?” Lily asked, interrupting his thoughts. 

“You and Liam are going to go on ahead. Some bad people are coming and I want you two to go ahead so you can be safe. Let Liam take you- there, good girl,” he said as Liam pulled a confused Lily from the wagon. 

“But what about you?” Lily said. Zayn grinned at her, trying not to think about how quiet his life would be without her.

“Me? I’m one of the best warriors in my clan, I’ll be just fine,” he said with all the bluster he could shore up. She looked at him skeptically, but let Liam scoop her into the saddle. Liam turned to him.

“Go! We don’t have time for you to stand around!” Zayn said, pushing Liam into his horse. Instead of climbing into the saddle, Liam grabbed his chin and looked at him closely. Leaning in, he pressed a kiss to the side of Zayn’s mouth. Zayn slumped forward into the touch and let his eyes drift shut, placing his hands on Liam’s hips to steady himself. 

All too soon, Liam pulled back.

Zayn kept his eyes closed, unwilling to let go of the moment and see Liam move away and leave him. A thumb smoothed over his bottom lip, and his eyes fluttered open despite his wishes. 

“I’m sorry,” Liam said, taking his hand from Zayn’s face. 

“For what?” Zayn asked. Liam just smiled his little half smile and shook his head. 

“Thank you , Zayn. I mean it,” he said. 

“Go,” Zayn said. Liam mounted his horse behind Lily, wrapping his arms around her and reminding Zayn intimately of their first long ride together. 

“And Zayn,” Liam started.

“Hmm?”

“Next time you kiss me, give me some warning. I think you just about broke my nose,” Liam said with a smirk. Zayn laughed in surprise.

“Next time?” he said after him, buoyed by a hope he shouldn’t feel when Liam laughed. His horse danced across the path, eager to go. 

“I guess you’ll have to wait and-” Liam stopped, jaw clenching and rocking forward in pain. 

A black arrow sprouted from his left shoulder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I know it takes a special type of reader to dive into a crazy long self-indulgent fantasy fic, and I appreciate you all coming along for the ride and all your encouragement to keep it going :).


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As a warning, this chapter is full of some not nice things. There be fighting, and a little torture, some medical stuff, and mention of past badness including rape of a minor character. I've added the "violence" archive warning accordingly.
> 
> Happy reading!

“Liam!” Zayn yelled, pulling him down off the horse and behind the wagon, out of sight. Liam steadied himself against the wagon, right hand clenched around the arrow. Still on the horse, Lily screamed. Zayn looked between her and Liam and steeled himself.

“Lily, love, I know it isn’t my right and I’m really sorry about this, but I need to get you off that horse, okay?” he said. Lily barely looked at him, barely squirmed in distress when he grabbed her and pulled her down. He let go as soon as her feet were on the ground and she moved towards Liam, shock all over her young face. 

“I guess they, ah, don’t want us to take off,” Liam said with a sharp grin. Lily reached out and grabbed his leg.

“Liam?” she whimpered, eyes on the slick blood beginning to coat Liam’s fingers. 

“Zayn? What’s their progress?” he asked. Feeling foolish for not doing so before, Zayn dropped to his belly to look under the wagon. Their attackers were close, less than a hundred yards away at most and closing in fast. Behind him, he heard a snap and whipped around, back on his feet in an instant.

Liam had broken off the end of the arrow, leaving only a ghastly stub poking out of his body. Liam panted, looking back at him. 

“Well?” he asked and Zayn scrambled to remember the initial question. 

“They’re about 70 yards out,” he said. Liam grunted. 

“Lily. Get under the wagon and stay there until I say so,” Liam ordered. 

“But-” she protested, hands tightening on his legs. 

“Now! We don’t have the time to argue about this,” Liam shouted. Lily quailed back and bit her lip.

“Under here. Quickly, sweetheart,” Zayn insisted, pointing behind one of the wheels. She ducked to obey, shivering. 

He could hear the riders coming upon them. Bracing himself against a wheel and freeing his blade, he looked to Liam and found him against the other wheel, staff in his good hand. 

The riders were shouting to each other, excited voices coming closer and closer. Zayn could hear the heavy breathing of their horses and sensed the nervous movement of the horses still attached to their wagon. Liam’s horse, loyal to her master, stood unsure by Zayn’s horse. Zayn released his horse and mounted, staying flush to her back and behind the wagon so as not to be seen.

“Are you ready?” he asked Liam. He held the staff in front on him grimly and nodded to Zayn. They waited a beat, and then another, listening to the sound of hooves moving on the packed sand. Waiting. Now!

Zayn spun and cut loose Liam’s purchased horses to create confusion and turned again to put his back at the wagon. 

Their attackers were upon them. 

All four wore black cloaks and yellow tags. Slavers. Liam had been right all along. 

“Did you miss me, clansman?” Orin’s ugly face sneered back at him and his companion from the night before laughed beside him. 

“I think you should have been nicer to my friend here, and maybe a little more free with your girl. Hello sweet thing, don’t think I’ve forgotten about you,” he said, waggling his fingers at Lily under the wagon. 

Zayn charged around him on the far side of Orin and swung his blade. The slaver caught his blow with his own sword and grinned. 

“You’ll have to be faster than that if you want to kill _me_ boy,” he said. Quick as he could, Zayn used his other hand to pull a small blade from his boot and plunge it into the man’s neck. He twisted it before tugging it out roughly and yielding a spray of blood. Zayn took in the man’s gasping expression with distaste, shoving him off his horse. 

“Gerrit!” Orin yelled, watching his friend choke on his blood as he fell. “I’ll kill you!” he yelled, pointing his sword at Zayn and urging his horse around that of his fallen comrade. 

A scream distracted them both and they turned to see Lily clutching the spokes of the wagon wheel as a cloaked woman with red hair tried to pull her away forcefully, longbow on her back. Liam had managed to pull the other rider from his horse and was fighting him off. He tried to push him away and turn to Lily but the other man stayed on him relentlessly. 

With a glance at Orin’s proximity, Zayn pulled back to the wagon. The woman turned to meet him, hand around an arrow, but she was not fast enough to dodge Zayn’s long dagger as he slashed her from navel to throat. She clutched her hands to her wound and screamed, blood leaching through her fingers. He kicked her in the face, downing her, turning just in time to find Orin swinging his blade down at his shoulder with both hands. He dodged the blow, but felt it glance off his horse’s flank behind him and she reared in pain, tumbling him off. 

He landed hard on his back, hands still clutching his blades. Scooting back quickly to avoid his horse’s hooves as she fled, he looked up to find Orin smiling down at him eagerly. 

“Thought you were going to spill my guts, lad. Now you’re going to die and the first thing I’m going to do is take your bitch to my tent. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” Orin laughed. 

Zayn lunged to his feet. A sharp crack and a groan sounded from where Liam struggled with the other man, but Zayn didn’t dare to look away from Orin. The slaver grinned at him maniacally and swiped at him. He dodged and sliced at the man’s ankle before dancing back, eliciting a hiss of pain.

“You might as well give up, boy, we both know how this is going to end,” he swung again and Zayn ducked, “No use in trying to make me angrier. I’m going to kill you now. Or maybe I’ll tie you up nice so you can watch me fuck your mate until he bleeds-“

“Talks a lot, doesn’t he?” Liam said. He was leaning heavily on his staff and a new wound bled sluggishly from his injured side, but he was alive.

Orin seemed to find this less exciting than Zayn did. 

“Well, if it isn’t the little bitch himself. Just can’t wait to show your mate how well you can take a real man’s cock, whore,” he said, spitting on the ground in front of Liam. 

“You flatter me,” Liam said drily. Orin moved to swing again and Zayn tensed, ready to deflect or dodge as needed, when Liam stepped forward and rapped the slaver’s horse smartly on the nose. She snorted and tossed her head, putting Orin off balance as he struggled to keep control. 

Zayn took his moment and lunged towards Orin’s belly, only to be deflected by the slaver’s blade. He sprung back and Orin lunged in his saddle. Zayn dropped his blades and grabbed the man’s outstretched arm and jerkin and pulled him hard. Aided by the hurt prancing of his horse, Orin lost his seat and fell to the ground next to Zayn. 

Before he could gain purchase, Zayn rolled on top of him and held his wrists. Orin struggled like a beast beneath him and Zayn fought to keep his hold. A boot appeared in Zayn’s line of vision and stepped mercilessly onto Orin’s hand on the knife, but he kept hold. Liam, attached to the boot, twisted the heel from side to side until a popping noise was heard and Orin released it at last. Liam kicked the blade away. 

“How did you find us?” Liam asked. Orin stayed silent and Liam dug his heel all the more firmly into his broken hand. 

“How did you find us?” he repeated. Orin spat into Zayn’s face. Sitting back onto his haunches. Zayn wiped at his face. Orin took this moment to make a grab for Liam’s ankle that Zayn responded to by punching him hard in the jaw. 

“My mate here, he’d still like to watch you bleed from your stomach until you die,” Zayn said with a nod at Liam who looked grim indeed, “But, I am willing to kill you more quickly if you answer my questions.” Keeping an eye on him, he reached for Orin’s blade and spun it lazily in front of its previous master. 

“Olvidae, the woman. She had a bird that could find anything as long as she rewarded it with all the rodents that it desired. It pointed us in the right direction and we followed you once we realized you were no longer in Sevarre,” Orin said reluctantly, watching Zayn move the dark blade.

“How did you know we had gone?” Zayn asked. Orin grinned nastily. 

“We went into your room at mid morning to wake you up and take you nice and easy,” he started, making Zayn go cold, “When you weren’t there and your sheets were long cold, we asked around and found where you had been setting up your wares. When we could not find you there, we went after you,” he finished. 

“What were you doing in the North?” Liam asked, sounding very tired. 

“The slave markets are always looking for something... exotic,” he said, leering at Zayn and licking his lips. Zayn struck him across the mouth again and Orin spat blood to the side before grinning up at him with blood on his teeth, “Don’t get upset at me, boy, I don’t make the rules. I just know what sells. 

“People tire of the same doe-eyed slaves. It’s become popular to, ah, personally break your slaves. Born slaves don’t need to broken, only captive ones. And you can’t very well expect Westerners to want you to capture their own people, no. They want outsiders,” he said.

“So you’ve been taking travelers and refugees?” he asked. Orin shrugged beneath him. 

“Of course. It’s usually easy and that way we can also steal and sell their goods as well as their bodies. Lucrative, you might say,” he said proudly. Zayn looked up at Liam and found him looking green around the gills. He felt the same way. 

“I can finish this, babe. I know the smell of slavers makes you ill. Why don’t you go sit with Lily?” Zayn asked Liam. 

“Don’t you need me to keep him still?” Liam asked.

Zayn reached for his small knife on the ground and plunged it into Orin’s uninjured hand, making him scream.

“Orin’s not going anywhere,” he said bluntly. The boot lifted from Orin’s other hand with an awful crunching noise, and then Zayn heard the noise of Liam’s steps stumbling away. 

“You said you would give me a better death,” Orin said angrily.

“And I will,” Zayn said, “I could be taking off your fingers right now. Or I could be letting Liam direct this. Liam has a thing for eyes, you see.” He smirked meanly at the shudder that overtook Orin as he talked.

“What else do you want?” Orin said, looking away. 

“Are there others following us?” he asked. Orin shook his head. 

“No. It was only the four of us that followed you. Less ways to split the profit that way,” he said, a small ugly smile working it’s way back to his face. “And if we had any pretty ones, well, less people to share with and less chance the bodies would be too bruised up to sell, if you catch my meaning.” Zayn caught it all too well and gave a slight twist of the small blade, causing the man’s smile to drop off his face. 

“No need for added details, slaver,” Zayn said, placing the man’s own sword at his neck. 

“I’ll do my best you shit,” Orin said through clenched teeth. 

“Now, why go through all this trouble for the three of us?” he asked patiently. 

“It’s like I told you before. Girls go for a good price at market, especially the pretty ones. And you know that yellow hair is rare in the West. Not a lot of travelers bring their children to market because they’re so vulnerable. The ones that do tend to travel in groups. Two men and a girl made you stand out,” he said. 

“I guess you should have done better research,” Zayn said. Orin glared. 

“I’ve brought many travelers to the Western Gate of Sevarre, boy, don’t forget. We just got greedy when we saw that bitch of yours and the girl and we’re paying for it now. You should have been an easy target,” he said, frowning. 

But, hold on-

“What do you mean about Liam? As repulsive as your logic may be, I can understand why a festering asshole like yourself would attack to take our girl, but why would Liam whet your appetite?” Zayn asked. Orin smiled. 

“Told you before, didn’t I? He’s slave marked,” Orin said. Zayn’s brows furrowed. 

“He told you he wasn’t,” Zayn said. That provoked Orin into a choking laugh. 

“And slaves never lie, do they boy. Oh your bitch has been a slave before, I’d bet my life on it,” he said, amused. 

“And I’m telling you that he’s not. I’d have seen it,” Zayn argued. Orin lifted a skeptical eyebrow. 

“Because that one could never find a way to hide something from you, eh? That much in love? Ever wonder why he only lets you fuck him with his shirt on? Or does he not let you fuck him at all any you really don’t know-“ Zayn twisted the knife again and Orin trailed off into a hiss. 

“Enough of your fantasies. Let’s say I believe you. What would you want with a runaway slave?” he asked. 

“You’re really an innocent in this, aren’t you,” Orin said. It wasn’t a question. 

“Just tell me,” Zayn said. 

“I think you should call your bitch back and ask him. He knows,” Orin said, panting in pain but still smiling wide enough to show all his teeth.

“Or I could just take off your fingers,” Zayn proposed, raising the man’s sword from his neck and starting to swing it down. 

“Wait! Wait!” Orin shouted and he stopped, turning his face back to the other man impatiently. 

“Well?” he prompted. 

“People pay a lot of money in the West for returned slaves. They’re said to be harder to break – more entertainment value, you might say, for a select group of rich bastards. And if you can find the family that they ran from, well, praise the Gods. Then you’re looking at an even better profit. People like to have the opportunity to punish their slaves and make an example. And if they can break them, oh, what a symbol of status and pride,” Orin concluded. Zayn felt a strong urge to be inside his tribe’s gates far away from the grotesque Western culture that the slaver described. 

“I guess you wasted your time then. Liam is not a slave, nor was he ever,” he said, looking Orin in the eyes and raising the man’s blade, “nor will he ever be.” He plunged the blade into Orin’s stomach and shoved it up within his rib cage. Orin looked at him, an almost comical expression of surprise on his face. Blood began to dribble out his mouth and Zayn felt its hot slide against his fingers around the handle of the blade. He pulled it free harshly and tossed the blade aside before standing and turning away from the gasping coughs of the slaver. He hoped it took him a long time to die. 

Ahead of him, Liam sat against the wagon with his eyes closed, Lily leaning against his uninjured side with his hand wrapped around her eyes and her fingers ostensibly blocking her ears. His heart clenched painfully at the evidence of tear tracks crossing her dirty cheeks. 

A few feet away from them, the woman lay unmoving in a circle of blood soaked sand. On the other side, the fourth rider lay unconscious with a broken nose and a large lump forming near his temple. Taking his weapons back, he wiped them dispassionately on his trousers before slipping them into their sheaths. Walking forwards, he checked for a pulse on the woman and, finding none, moved onto the man. He did not know Liam’s reasons for keeping the man alive, but he had no such compulsions and slit his throat as he slept. 

He turned to Liam and Lily, thinking. He did not really want Lily to see the death and violence around her any more than she already had, but he also wanted to treat Liam as soon as possible. Compromising, he swung himself into the wagon and grabbed the supplies he needed for a fire and for treating Liam’s wound. After a moment of hesitation, he also took a couple furs. He jumped out of the wagon and placed his products on the ground next to Liam.

The sun was getting low in the sky, and soon dusk would set in. He estimated that he had about three hours before it would be black as pitch. He needed to treat Liam quickly and then find as many of the horses as he could before dark. He didn’t think they would go far – Liam’s horse, his pride and joy, was standing by the wagon still, and his horse couldn’t be too far from her. He tied her up quickly to the wagon, reaching for her feedbag amongst her saddlebags and attaching it to her face as a reward for sticking around. 

If any horses went back to the oasis, there was no helping it, but hopefully they were still nearby. Throwing himself back into the wagon, he grabbed their remaining stock of oats and took it outside with the buckets. Walking a good fifty paces away from the wagon, he poured the oats into the buckets and added a bit of honey on each. Hopefully, their hungry beasts would be back to help themselves, used to the pattern of being fed at dusk every night. Pocketing the rest of the honey, he ran back to the camp and to Liam. 

He gathered his supplies from where they lay and placed the furs next to Lily. He tapped Liam’s hand over her eyes and she lowered her hands. 

“Zayn?” she questioned. Liam’s eyes slivered open and to look at him blearily.

“Lily, love, I know you were just a brave girl and you must be tired of being brave, but I need you to work with me. I need you to keep your eyes closed, okay? I put some furs next to you and you can snuggle in there if you like. I know you don’t want to move from Liam, Lily, and I won’t force you. I just want you to be comfortable. You must be tired,” he said softly. 

“Are they all dead?” she asked him. 

“Yes,” he said honestly. 

“I’m glad,” she said, a mean twist to her young mouth, “They hurt Liam.”

“I know, love. I’m going to fix him up real soon. It’s probably going to hurt Liam a when I take out the arrow and stitch him up, but it will all be over before you know it,” he said as reassuringly as he could, turning to his supplies to find his small firepit and kindling. 

“Okay Zayn,” she said unhappily. He hummed in response, striking the firestone to create a spark. Once he’d succeeded, he blew on the spark until it burned hotly. Hojink wood was excellent fuel and would burn brightly for hours – he said a quick prayer of thanks to Louis for insisting he bring it in his kit in case he needed it for late night lovemaking. He smiled a bit at the memory. Louis would be disappointed that his gift hadn’t been used to see the expressions of lust pass across Liam’s strong features as Zayn took him. While not expecting that outcome in the least and only taking the wood to stop Louis’ loud complaining about his lack of sex, he would have definitely preferred a night of fucking outside to an evening of sterilizing needles and boiling water.

Pouring water into a small dish, he placed it on top of the firepit‘s grate to boil. Next he took the water and cleaned his own hands with a bit of grainy soap, rubbing brusquely in order to scrape off the slavers’ blood. Hands clean, he looked up to Liam. Those brown eyes looked back at him, assessing. Next to him, Lily breathed in and out deeply in sleep. 

“I’m going to look at the wound in your side first. The arrow should be keeping your shoulder wound mostly sealed,” he said, reaching for the side of Liam’s shirt. Liam tensed at the contact, but did not resist when he pulled the shirt upwards and tucked the ends into his collar to keep them out of the way. 

Luckily the wound was shallow, though it was also long. Stretching from below his ribs to the sharp corner of a hipbone, Zayn immediately thanked the Gods that it hadn’t been any deeper or Liam would be the one holding his intestines in his lap. He shook his head against the thought and moved to wipe the excess blood away with a clean cloth before taking up the jar of alcohol. 

“This is going to hurt. Quite a lot,” he warned, before pouring the alcohol into the wound and scrubbing it in as gently as he could. Liam’s back arched away from him and his breath hitched in pain, making Zayn bite his lip. Fuck but it had to be done. He’d seen too many men die from infection before to not clean out a wound thoroughly. He put the jar down and reached for Liam’s bad arm, taking off his armband with quick fingers and offering it before Liam’s mouth. 

“I’m going to stitch you up. Bite down,” he ordered. He placed his needle in the fire until it glowed red and he removed it, attaching his thread and biting off the end. He’d done this before for Louis and Harry, and far too many times for clumsy Niall. He let his mind fall into the same pattern of those fixings and worked carefully and quickly, not letting himself think too hard about whom he was touching. Liam was clenched taut beneath him, pained noises emanating through his leather mouth guard and breathing harshly through his nose. All were familiar traits of a wounded warrior. 

Soon, his stitches were finished. He leaned close to Liam’s belly to bite off the thread, and then leaned back. The water was boiling now, and he dipped in his cloth, letting it cool a bit in the air before he used it to wipe the remaining blood from Liam’s side. Thankfully the cut was not ragged and it should heal easily. Taking the jar of honey from his pocket, he used a clean knife to spread it carefully over the stitches, and then wrapped the whole thing with a length of clean white bandages and tied it off tightly. 

“One down, one to go,” he said, washing his hands thoroughly again. “I’m afraid that this is going to hurt,” he added softly. Leaning more into Liam’s space he placed a hand next to the wound and slid the pointer finger and thumb of his second hand along the shaft of the arrow. He looked at Liam, biting his lip. Liam nodded back at him and closed his eyes, head thunking against the side of the wagon. Zayn eased his finger into the wound along the arrow, trying not to notice the whimper of pain it created. Probing carefully along the arrow, he felt some relief that it was not barbed, nor was it stuck in the bone. Wedging his thumb in also, he pulled out the arrowhead, feeling Liam shake beneath him as he tried to control himself. 

“It’s out, Liam. You’re good. Now I just need to take off your shirt and leathers to clean it-” Liam spat out the leather armband. 

“No,” he said, voice wrecked. Zayn frowned. 

“What do you mean, ‘no’? How else am I supposed to take care of it if I can’t see it?” he demanded. Liam shook his head, looking at him with hazy but stubborn certainty. 

“I’ll take care of it,” Liam insisted. Zayn snorted in disbelief. 

“Like hell you will. Either you let me take it off or I’m cutting it off. Don’t try me, Liam. My patience is pretty damn low at the moment,” he said hotly. Liam grimaced. 

“Fine. Do what you want. But I’m not helping you,” he said, looking away from Zayn. Zayn growled. Of all the times to be stubborn!

“Fine,” he shot back, reaching for his knife. Admittedly, cutting Liam’s clothes off of his body was a fantasy that had come to him before. But in the fantasy, Liam was always moaning coyly in pleasure, not in pain. 

His knife made quick work of the cloth and leather and soon Zayn was able to reveal Liam’s whole chest. He had never seen him without a shirt on so close before. Even when they bathed in the water together, Liam had kept a fair distance from him as he splashed about with Lily. His nipples were dusky pink and erect in Liam’s discomfort, and his whole torso was awash with sweat. Zayn blinked hard. It was time to focus. There would be time to suck each of those sweet rosebuds into his mouth later. Or at least to fantasize about it, he thought reluctantly. 

His eyes moved to the wound. Placed between the meat of his shoulder and his chest, Liam was really rather lucky that the arrow hadn’t hit bone. Holding the wound open, he again poured alcohol into it and scrubbed it clean. Without the leather in his mouth, Liam’s teeth clacked together terribly and Zayn winced, grateful at least that he didn’t bite through his tongue. He offered Liam the leather sheepishly, and Liam took it without looking at him. 

As before, he stitched the wound carefully and treated it with the honey to keep out infection. Grabbing more clean bandages from his stock with one hand, he grasped Liam’s arm with the other and pulled it upwards and away from his body. Or he would have, if Liam had let him. 

“Liam, what are you doing?” he said, annoyed, pulling again at the tense muscles that held Liam’s arm tight to his side. 

“It’ll be fine without,” Liam said dejectedly, as if he knew the argument would not work with Zayn but felt the need to try. 

“No you will not. You are not going to die of infection on my watch. And I still need to collect our horses and bury these slavers. So just work with me, would you?” he said, last of his patience dwindling. Liam went slack. 

Zayn grabbed his arm once more and pulled it up and around his neck easily before going completely still, staring at Liam’s side. 

“Is that?” he asked, voice quavering. 

“Yes,” said Liam.

There, under Liam’s armpit, was a slaver’s mark.

Orin had been right. 

Like the others Zayn had seen, the mark on Liam was branded into his skin. It was a letter, a R or a B perhaps, but it was hard to tell because someone had mutilated it, tried to remove it. It would have hurt terribly. 

Without full permission from his brain, he reached forward to touch it with a finger. Liam stiffened immediately. 

“Don’t. Don’t touch it.” Zayn pulled his hand back. He was shaking, he noted dimly. He wanted to cover it, to take it away from Liam, to go back to pretending he had never seen it. 

Forcing himself to focus, he began to wrap the arrow wound tightly, tying it off when he finished. Reaching down, he took one of the furs and used it to cover Liam’s chest. He sat back, looking at the ground between them, thoughts whirling. 

The silence stretched between them, and then Liam began to speak. 

“Andy told you that I’ve been captured six times. I’ve been attacked countless other times, of course, as is the way of things, but I’ve never met anyone else who has had to change homes that many times,” Liam said softly. 

“Neither have I,” Zayn admitted, still looking down. 

“The first time was when I was ten. I lived with my family then – my mother and father and my two sisters. We were horse traders then as I am now, and my parents were successful. It was a good life in our village. It was way up north, and rarely saw invaders that gave any type of trouble. 

“But when I was ten, an army came of the like we had never seen before. They had no women in their numbers, only men, and they wore red cloaks like the guards in Sevarre do. They did not have the face covers to hide their glee at finding us, at killing us.” Liam let out a long breath and Zayn looked up to find Liam’s eyes on his face. 

“They were the Vocenti, Zayn.” Zayn felt his mouth open in shock. Everyone had heard of the Vocenti. Every mother told their children to beware their red cloaks and white horses, to lock up their gates tight or flee if they were known to be coming. Rumor was that five or so years ago they had been taken down by a plague of sorts. No one had mourned them.

Zayn wanted to turn from Liam and plug his ears, wanted to run from what Liam was telling him, from what he knew would be coming next. 

"No, Liam, you don't have to-"

“They killed everyone, Zayn. Everyone. It was like sport to them. Those that they didn’t kill wished that they had. A group of them fell upon our little house eagerly, cut down my father and my mother when they tried to protect us. They pulled me and my sisters from the basement where we hid and tied me to one of the beams of the house to make me watch while they raped them. They each took a go at my back while they waited for their turn with them,” he said, breath hitching. Zayn wanted to hold him, to comfort him, to track down those that had hurt him and kill them. He dared do none of those things and instead stayed still, eyes on Liam’s face.

“I blacked out, eventually, from the pain. When I woke up, I found that they had killed my sisters after they used them. I was the only survivor of my family,” he said, eyes wet. Zayn presented not to notice when he wiped his eyes, visibly controlling himself and pushing the memories away. Zayn’s mind eye focused on what Liam would have looked like at ten. He was probably all skinny arms and legs and sweet curly hair. He imagined that face crying and screaming out in terror and wanted to break something. 

“I spent a half day there, tied to that pole and moving in and out of consciousness. And then the slavers came,” he sneered, “scavengers, the lot of them. They came to clean up after the Vocenti and sell off any survivors. They nursed me back to health and onto the auction block in no time at all – extremely skilled with that operation, they are,” Liam said with a cold smile. 

“They sold me in the West to a man named Gou. He had at least a dozen other slaves – beautiful young girls and a couple young men. He liked to parade us around, to show off his wealth. And he liked to beat us,” Liam said, eyes faraway even as he looked at Zayn. 

“Did he ever, well…” Zayn trailed off, unsure how to ask. Liam’s eyes focused again on his face. He shook his head. 

“No. He saved his amorous raping for the girls.” Zayn winced, hating himself for being relieved. 

“I prayed every day for release, but when it did not come I let my hatred of him own my mind. When he broke my arm pushing me down a set of stairs I laughed in his face, thankful for the reminder of my hatred,” Liam said, unaware of the chills that crept down Zayn’s spine. 

“After four years, I prayed to the Gods that if they would grant me the strength and opportunity to kill Gou and escape, I would never kill again and I would give offerings to them every year,” Liam said, looking down.

“Did you?” Zayn asked after a pause. 

“Every night Gou would send for me to come sing to him in his room. One night I took the fancy lantern next to his bed and used it to bash his face in. Stupid bastard had gotten complacent with us, had decided that he did not need guards at his dwelling when he had such _sweet_ slaves to care for him. After all, why wouldn't we protect the master that provided for us?" Liam spat, shaking his head. "I took the key to my shackles from his fat neck and freed myself. I took some of his clothes and gold and left that night through his window,” Liam said. 

“Just like that?” Zayn asked.

“Well, after I let his other slaves out of the house and lit it on fire,” he said, with a wry look at Zayn. He could imagine it all too easily - that stubborn look on his face eclipsed by hate as he watched it burn. 

“Gods, Liam. You must have a bounty on your head the size of the Dragon-god's hoard," he said. 

“I wouldn't know. Didn't feel inclined to stick around after and find out, and never made it a point to make a nostalgic visit through the West. If I'm lucky, they'll think I died in the fire,” Liam said. Zayn doubted that Liam had ever been lucky in his life. If they recognized him, the fate that awaited Liam in the West was not something he cared to think about. 

“What happened next?” Zayn asked when it became clear Liam was not going to say anything else. 

“A story for another time, clansman. It’s getting dark and I long for rest,” Liam said. Zayn’s mind was full of questions about what he had learned, about where it went from there. He wanted to talk with Liam into the dark of night and comfort him, make him forget his past and think of the future he could have as a clansman, as a beloved mate. 

But Liam never thanked him for pushing him past what he was willing to give. It was a miracle in itself that Liam had told him so much already. He leaned forward, giving into impulse at last and enfolding Liam in a gentle embrace, reminding him that he was whole and safe and far from those that had hurt him. Liam shuddered in his arms and allowed Zayn to place a lingering kiss on his brow. 

“I haven’t told the whole story to anyone else. Even Andy only knows an approximation of what happened,” Liam said into Zayn’s chest. 

“Thank you,” Zayn said. 

“Didn’t give me much choice, Zayn. So pushy,” Liam said, making Zayn laugh softly. 

“I guess you just bring that out in me,” Zayn said. He kissed Liam again, this time on the cheek, close to his mouth, and pulled back. He pushed Liam’s uninjured side lightly and Liam went easily, lying on the ground half beneath the wagon, eyes closing. Zayn covered him and Lily with the furs and turned abruptly away before he was dragged in. It would be so easy to lie down next to him, to hold him and forget about all that needed to be done, to be lost in the animal pleasure of physically holding his desires close. He strode off stiffly, hands clenching into fists. 

He had some horses to catch, bodies to bury, and a lot to think about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun dun duuuuunnnn! You all probably saw that one coming :). 
> 
> As you probably noticed, I also made an end in sight. The next chapter's a doozy, and then there are just two more before this bad boy is complete. And don't worry - much more Zayn/Liam in the next chapters... 
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! It totally makes my day to see that people are following this crazy story :).


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I did it again - tried to make a chapter where lots and lots of things happen and then it got too long and crazy and I needed to split it into two parts. 
> 
> Basically, I lied and I think 14 chapters is a better estimate!
> 
> Thanks for reading - hope you enjoy it :).

It took them three days to come back to camp, Liam riding in the wagon with Lily and Zayn riding out front. He used Liam’s mare, for his had been lamed in the fight and he had slit her throat out of mercy. He had been with her for ten years, and had cried as he released her, hiding his tears from Liam when he explained what had happened. Liam’s mare was good to him, steady and smart, but she was not his and he was not hers.

Fortunately, the other horses hadn’t wandered too far, and while two of the slavers’ horses had died from exhaustion, he was able to keep the other two alive with a stop at the next oasis on his route. Liam had held his hand and promised him the whip thin black mare that he had picked up in Sevarre, the death of Zayn’s horse weighing heavily in his eyes.

The remainder of their trip was uneventful in actuality, but they were all three agitated throughout the journey, waiting for the next patch of bad luck to come their way. Liam and Zayn kept watches at night, as they had on the way into Sevarre, but they felt more meaningful on the way back. Zayn could feel the strain of the past days tingle at his eyes and temples.

He enjoyed talking to Liam during those long hours when they were both too tense to sleep. He didn’t push for more information about Liam’s time as a slave, but Liam offered nonetheless. Nothing striking, really, but stories that helped to fill in the gap of years in Zayn’s information about Liam. Some of them were light-hearted and intended to make Zayn laugh – like his story of how he urinated in Gou’s expensive wine and watched him drink it down with honored guests. Others were not – like his recollection of how he was locked in a cupboard for three days after dropping Gou’s tea service.

When Zayn saw his mother’s camp rise on the horizon, he was grateful to see it, even if it meant the end of late night talks with Liam. It meant safety and civil people, and a healer for Liam. Zayn had done his best, and he had always had a skilled hand for that sort of thing, but he still worried about infection.

He reached his camp’s gate in the late afternoon, and found Ashton and Mikey at the gates again. This time, however, Mikey had the faint remains of a black eye. Seeing Zayn approach, he tried some obvious attempt to cover it with his hair, and pretended not to see Zayn’s eyebrow arch in question.

“Hello,” he called to them, stopping. He heard Liam rummage behind him in the wagon and pull back the front flap to look out.

“Zayn! Welcome back!” Ashton called down with a smile. Mikey grunted.

“Thank you. I’m happy to be back,” he said.

“Niall just came down to ask if we’d had any sign of you. I told him that we saw travelers, but that we weren’t sure yet if it was you,” Ashton said.

“Thanks. I’ll see him when I drop off the horses and take Liam to Jana’s,” he said. Liam’s mutterings about not needing an escort were ignored and Ashton’s usually chipper face became concerned. Even Mikey turned his gloomy countenance their way.

“What do you need at Jana’s – was there an injury? And. Wait,” he paused, thinking.

“Why are you not riding your horse?” Mikey asked, slowly. A pang of loss almost made him lose his breath, made sharper by the realization of how often he was going to need to answer that question.

“We were set upon on the way back,” Liam said, into the silence that Zayn created. He watched, bemused, as Mikey and Ashton both reached for their spears as if expecting brigands to jump out from behind their wagon.

“Set upon? By who?” Ashton asked sharply.

“It’s a long story,” he said, not wanting them to have more reason to panic. They were warriors in his mother’s clan, and talented, but they were still young and relatively inexperienced.

“Brigands? Angry tribesman? Who?” Ashton said, relentless.

“I’ll explain later. Right now I need to get these wares sorted out and Liam treated. And then I need to talk to my mother. Do you lads want to explain to her why she’s the last to hear about her son’s attack?” he asked. Ashton and Mikey blanched and ushered him past.

“Should we be on the lookout for anyone?” Ashton called to him as he rode away.

“Not any more so than usual. All that attacked us are dead and buried,” he called back, looking ahead. After a thought, he added, “And don’t think you’ve gotten out of explaining that bruise on your face, Mikey. I need to know who to thank for recompensing me.”

“Fuck off!” Mikey shouted, making him smile.

Soon enough they reached Niall’s tent. Hearing the commotion, his blond friend rushed out to greet them.

“Zayn! Liam! And where’s the pretty miss?” he said, all but dragging Zayn from his horse to wrap him in a hug. Liam gingerly eased himself onto the ground and smiled at his friend, while Lily popped her head out of the wagon in delight.

“Niall!” she shouted. He let go of Zayn in an instant to lift her out and swing her in his arms before holding her close.

“I missed you, sweet girl. I decided that you aren’t allowed to leave again without taking me with you, alright?” he said playfully, making her laugh. Zayn felt the usual itch of jealously at their closeness, and looked away, pretending to straighten his clothes.

Niall looked up from where his face was buried in her hair to grin at Liam. Looking as though he was about to spring himself at the other man, Lily or no, Zayn grasped his arm to stop him.

“He’s injured – be careful,” Zayn said quietly. Niall stopped immediately, looking serious.

“Injured? How bad?” he asked. In response, Liam lifted his shirt to reveal his bandages. Niall gasped, going pale. Zayn had a feeling that Liam was well aware of their friend’s distaste for blood – a glance up affirmed his suspicions when Liam winked at him. He bit his lip against an answering smile, looking down.

“That looks ghastly! What happened?” he asked. Before Zayn could open his mouth to put him off, Lily jumped in to explain.

“They tried to take me away Niall, and they hurt Liam, but Zayn killed them all so we’re okay,” she said helpfully. Niall looked rather more shaken at this pronouncement.

“What?” he all but shouted. Zayn cringed and Liam dropped his shirt, smoothing the hem.

“It’s a long story-”

“Don’t you dare try and put me off, Zayn,” Niall said, face becoming red with anger.

“Shhh, Niall. Liam needs to go to the healer,” Lily said, patting his face to get his attention. Looking abashed but in no way pacified, Niall quieted.

“That’s right, love. I was just going to take Liam to the healer to make sure my stitches look good. Can you stay with Niall and help him unload the horses? And go find Louis and Eleanor and Harry and meet us in my mother’s tent?” he asked sweetly. Niall gave him a look that promised murder, making Liam cough beside him, covering a laugh.

“Okay Zayn. But can I go find Safaa after helping Niall? I don’t want to see your mom,” she said honestly. Liam gave another choked off laugh from beside him.

“That’s fine, sweetheart. Just don’t go too far, okay?” Liam said, schooling himself with some effort. She nodded and turned back to Niall, tugging on his ears.

“Let me down, Niall. I know you’re afraid of horses but the ones Liam bought this time are really nice,” she said considerately.

“Of course they are. Not slavering beasts at all,” Niall said with a stilted chuckle. He bent to put her down and mimed killing Zayn and Liam brutally. Zayn smiled, shaking his head.

“See you shortly,” he said. She nodded and took hold of Niall’s hand, tugging him towards the horses. Zayn tilted his head in the direction of Jana’s tent and Liam nodded, turning with him back to the main path. Behind them, he could hear Niall grumbling and Lily telling him something about horse teeth that was probably meant to be reassuring.

“Think he’ll forgive us?” Zayn asked, looking at Liam.

“I don’t know. I think I should probably check my bedding for gross things for the next couple nights,” Liam said, nose wrinkling.

“Ah, yes, guess I get a bit of a reprieve since I don’t live with the man,” he said.

“I’ll be happy to share any strange finds,” Liam said.

“See that you don’t,” Zayn said, tone warning but eyes laughing. The only strange find Zayn wanted in his bedding was Liam himself.

The walk to Jana’s tent was short. She had a small dwelling, the inside of which had a smell that always made Zayn’s nose itch and his eyes water. Liam sneezed beside him when he entered, making Zayn feel slightly better.

Jana was grinding something orange into powder when they arrived, but smiled when she saw them and put it aside. After the usual greetings, and the not so usual explanations, she had Liam sit so she could remove his bandages. Zayn watched her, wanting to see what she thought about his skills as a healer – and about the master’s mark on Liam’s side. No one would turn Liam in to the West for being a runaway, but Zayn was curious if it would rouse any questions. Jana had ten years on him at least, and her profession offered a lot of unusual sights, but he wanted to know if she would have anything to say.

Jana, however, was not cooperative. 

“I don’t need you lurking in the shadows of my tent, Zayn. Something tells me your mother would love to see you. I’ll send Liam that way as soon as he’s looked over,” she said, matter-of-fact.

“But-“

“No excuses. I’m fairly sure that eyeballing Liam’s chest won’t make it heal faster. Go,” she said, ushering him out with one hand. He blushed at the implication and left quickly with a muttered goodbye at Liam. His laugh followed Zayn out.

From Jana’s tent he walked towards the center of camp where his mother’s tent was located. It was his home growing up, and his sisters’ too. Now Doniya lived apart with Waliyha to keep her company, but Safaa still lived in the main tent.

He nodded to Aron and Cain who stood guard outside, and then stepped inside to the usual smells and sights of his childhood. His mother and father sat by the low table in the left side of the tent, looking at a map, while Safaa played with her Rubbe balls. She noticed him first.

“Zayn!” she said happily, running to meet him and hug him hello. He returned the gesture, feeling silly for having missed something so trivial sounding while he was away.

“Hello, Safaa. It is good to see you again,” he said, meaning it. Lily reminded him so much of Safaa that it made it more difficult not to miss her when he was away. And after the whole trial with the slavers, it was not a far leap to imagine them grabbing for Safaa too.

“If you’re back, does that mean-”

“Yes, yes, Lily is back. And yes you can go off and leave your only brother who you haven’t seen in two weeks-”

“Okay!” she said, scampering off.

“Ouch,” he said, though he was quick to smile when he was pulled into another embrace by his father and mother.

“You made good time,” Yaser said. Zayn shook his head.

“Not really. I have to talk to you about that. We ended up cutting our visit short in Sevarre,” he said, looking at Trisha. Her smile at seeing him turned into a frown.

“Why do I have the feeling that I will not like your explanation as to why?” she asked.

“Because I am pretty sure that you won’t,” Zayn said. She sighed and motioned for the two of them to follow her back to the corner table.

“Go on then. What happened?” she asked, once they were both seated. He explained about the slavers they had seen in Sevarre, and watched her face tighten in anger when he told her how the man had looked for Liam’s master’s mark. She grabbed Yaser’s hand when he explained how they had been followed. By the time he explained what he learned from Orrin, her face was dour and Yaser’s was much the same.

He did not tell her about Liam’s mark, or about his story. If he chose to share it, it would be his to tell. Besides, he knew that the movement of slavers in the East would be the most important factor for his mother.

“I heard that they were getting more aggressive in the West, but to be so active in the East? This is bad news. All they need is an army and then they will be able to make profit off of an entire village should they choose,” she said, looking to Yaser. Zayn felt as if someone had crawled over his grave – what if the Vocenti had made dealings with slavers? Was that the reason they had attacked Liam’s village?

Liam chose that moment to stumble into his mother’s tent, making apologies for being late that his mother brushed away.

“Zayn has told us what has transpired with the slavers. Our market trips usually travel in groups, but because of the strange nature of your relationship to the tribe, you were allowed to go with just Zayn for company,” Trisha said bluntly. Liam seemed unshaken by the frank analysis, but Zayn wanted to sink under the floor. Yaser smiled at him across the table in understanding.

“Yes, I understand. But what is it that you want to ask?” Liam said. Zayn moaned quietly at the sharpness of the question. His mother just smiled, appreciative of his honesty.

“Very good. As someone that has more experience traveling to Sevarre than I do, and likely more experience traveling alone – am I wrong?” she asked, interrupting herself. Liam shook his head and she continued, “As I thought. In your opinion, has slaver activity been increasing on the road of late?” Liam looked thoughtful, and shook his head again slowly.

“Not really. What Zayn and I encountered was quite unlike anything I’ve seen before. But I haven’t been to market in more than six months, and a lot can change during that time. I’ve been attacked on the road before, but only by thieves after my horses, not my life in bond,” he said. His face indicated that he was still thinking, mulling something over.

“There’s more, isn’t there?” Zayn asked. Liam nodded, looking at Trisha and not at Zayn.

“Some of the traders I talked to mentioned seeing yellow-tags on the roads. No one that I spoke to was attacked, but they all traveled in larger groups. And my friend at the inn, Andy, mentioned that he had heard of a stronger slaver presence in the East. If anyone would know, it would be him. He talks to all kinds of travelers coming in from the Northeast. I’ve never seen slavers in his inn before – it is a bad sign that they would be traveling that way. It’s too far out of their way to be remotely convenient unless they were searching for product,” he said.

“Why didn’t you mention this to me before?” Zayn asked, confused. He thought they had shared most of their thoughts on the business earlier.

“I didn’t want to worry you with superstitions. All the slavers I’ve ever known have either taken people from villages that had been destroyed by one means or another, or have raised their own. I’ve heard whispers about slavers attacking people on the road, but I thought it was only that. Whispers, bed time stories to frighten the young ones so they did not travel alone,” he said, looking a little ashamed. It occurred to Zayn then that Liam must at least partially blame himself for the attack due to his withholding of information.

“Liam, it’s not-”

“Another time, Zayn. Liam, thank you. I’m sure you won’t mind if I call on you later for further discussion as needed?” she asked. His jaw tightened.

“Of course, ma’am,” he said, keeping eye contact. She smiled like a cat.

“Thank you. You may go. I’m sure that you have horses to care for and friends to check in on,” she said. Liam bowed and left with a nod to Zayn and Yaser. Zayn watched him go. Feeling his mother’s eyes on him, he turned back and caught her stare.

“What?” he said grouchily.

“I like him. He’s a good match for you. Smart, strong, quite handsome, in possession of a fantastic ass,” she said with a little laugh at his immediate discomfort.

“Don’t we have other concerns?” he asked, looking down at the map.

“Trisha, stop torturing the boy. And he’s right – what would you like to do with this information?” Yaser said, saving Zayn from another interrogation. Trisha’s humor fell away from her face.

“I think we need to send a party of scouts out on weekly missions to see if they find any news. They will be directed to extract information whenever possible by any means necessary. After we have some more information we will reassess,” she said slowly but certainly, making up the orders as she went along.

“I will make the arrangements for a first group to leave tomorrow morning. Fifteen strong in each party?” Yaser asked. She nodded her agreement, and he left the tent, leaving Zayn alone with his mother again. She looked at him intently and he swallowed.

“So, no progress at all in your courting?” she asked.

“Mom!” he said, telltale warmth spreading into his cheeks.

“What? I’m only curious. You know, your father really liked when I made him dinner during our courtship. You should try that. And I never told him, but I sometimes put a little opac seed in his rice, just to see him twitch and his skin become hot,” she said, remembering. Zayn winced. Opac was a mild aphrodisiac. His poor father never stood a chance.

“Of course, it was only a matter of time before I convinced him to come to my tent at night-”

He stood clumsily and bowed.

“I really should go. I need to drop off the goods and gold from the market at Matt’s so he can distribute it correctly. And I’m sure that my friends will be looking for me,” he said, trying to convince himself he wasn’t fleeing, and that no, that wasn’t the sound of his mother cackling as he left.

Halfway back to Niall’s tent, he bumped into Louis and Harry. He smiled in surprise and found himself pulled into two equally fierce hugs.

“It’s good to see you! Where’s Eleanor? Didn’t leave you already, did she?” he joked. Louis scowled at him and pulled him into a headlock, mussing his hair without mercy as he yelped his penitence.

“Not yet, you ass. We don’t need to do everything together, you know. I have been known to be independent from time to time,” Louis said, knuckling Zayn’s scalp.

“All lies,” Harry said placidly from next to him, neither aiding nor abetting.

“Why are you back so early?” Louis asked, releasing him with a shove that almost sent him tumbling. Zayn immediately began grooming his hair into some semblance of order, pretending that it wasn’t as much of a lost cause as it felt.

“Well?” Harry persisted. Zayn dropped his hands from his hair, turning to them.

“It’s a long story and I need to check in on Niall. Can I tell you on the way?” he asked.

“But Niall just told us to find you here!” Louis complained.

“Louis! Do you want to know about the slavers or not?” he said, impatient to get back to Niall and Liam. Both Harry and Louis went quiet.

“Slavers?” Harry asked, face gray.

“Yes. We saw slavers in Sevarre in the Northeast…” he trailed off starting towards Niall’s tent. He didn’t need to look back to know that he was being followed. He told them the rest, all but for Liam’s story, and they did not interrupt until they made it back to Niall’s and he concluded his story.

Harry whistled, a long note.

“That’s big news,” he said, after they looked at each other for a brief pause.

“My mother is going to send out scouting parties for more information,” Zayn said.

“Wow. She’s taking no chances, is she?” Louis said.

And she wasn’t. Zayn’s mother was not someone who let problems grow out of hand.

Harry, unexpectedly, laughed.

“What?” Zayn asked. Louis looked at their friend like he had lost his mind.

“Something funny about that, Harry?” he asked.

“No it’s- well, Louis, I was just thinking about how we were all set to tell Zayn the latest drama at camp and here he’s gone and upstaged our news!” Harry said. Louis’ face cleared in understanding.

“Oh right, I almost forgot that you missed that whole debacle. Cor, what a mess,” he said, wincing in memory. Harry got hold of himself with a last couple twitching chuckles.

“Sorry, sorry, not really all that funny. Just surprised is all,” Harry said.

“Are you going to tell me what you’re talking about?” Zayn asked, losing patience. He wanted to go in and check on Liam. He wanted to see what Jana had said about his injuries, and he wanted to invite himself over for dinner so he could watch Liam and Lily tell Niall about their experiences in Sevarre.

“Mikey’s on guard duty today, isn’t he Harry?” Louis asked.

“Yeah, with Ashton, his usual partner,” Harry agreed.

“Don’t suppose you noticed that Mikey’s earned himself quite the shiner?” Louis asked Zayn with a crooked little smile.

“Of course I did. What did he do? Stop being cryptic,” Zayn said, edging towards the entrance of the tent.

“Calum announced his claim of courtship for Luke last feast day,” Louis said.

“I heard from Ashton on our way out to Sevarre. What does that have to do with Mikey?” Zayn asked, one hand reaching for the front flap.

“Luke rejected the claim,” Louis said with a grimace. Zayn’s hand dropped with his own wince.

“Fuck.” Poor Calum. Rejected claims were rare because most people made sure there was at least a slight return of interest before they announced their desires in front of the whole clan. He had seen a couple in his time, and they were always awful.

“Fuck indeed. But that’s not the worst of it either. Luke got really upset and broke the circle. Calum followed him and we all heard shouting and then Calum came back alone, all pissed off and showing the beginnings of his own giant black eye,” Louis said. Zayn gaped at him.

“ _Luke_ hit Calum? Luke doesn’t look like he could get a good hit on anything – those long limbs always trip him up when he fights” Zayn said, a touch admiring.

“I know, he’s a bit like our Harry in that regard,” Louis said, nudging Harry with an elbow. Harry glowered.

“Piss off. I’m wiry,” he said with quiet dignity. Louis snorted.

“Right, right,” he said, looking at him fondly.

“At least I’m not short,” Harry said with a distinct look at Louis, who spluttered.

“Slander! Why you-”

“Oi, children! You still haven’t told me why Mikey has a black eye,” Zayn said, wanting to give them each a firm shake.

“Oh right. Well, ah, when Calum came back, he went straight to Mikey and hauled him up and hit him right there! They scrapped a little and had to be separated by your mother’s guards and escorted out so the feast could begin peaceably. I think your mother gave them each a talking to that made them piss their pants, to be honest. She was livid that they’d fight there,” Harry said. Zayn nodded. He could imagine just the way she would look. He’d been on the other side of that look plenty of times as a teenager. He wouldn’t wish it on his worst enemy.

“So, what’s the story?” Zayn asked.

“Turns out that Mikey had been teasing Luke for months, you know how he can be,” Louis said and Zayn nodded. He did know. Mikey meant well, most of the time, but he could also be a right bastard if the mood struck him.

“And?”

“As he tells it, he was just trying to suss out if Calum had a chance with him. Which, who knows with Mikey, really,” Louis said. Gods but they were young and stupid. Zayn felt a little better in his own courtship woes that at least he was no longer so young and impulsive, if he’d ever been.

“Whatever. What’s important is that Luke thought Calum’s claim was a joke. That he had done it to make fun of him. He’s so young, Zayn, I don’t think it ever even occurred to him that Calum might be interested in him. Luke took offense to being made fun of, and then to Calum’s face, and then Calum took it out on Mikey for supposedly ruining his chances,” Harry finished.

“Wow. That is a story,” Zayn said, feeling awed at how quickly things had gotten out of hand.

“And now Calum’s trying to fix things with Luke, who doesn’t know what to think and is hugely embarrassed for making a scene, and Mikey’s been sulking because he misses his best friend and feels wronged by the whole thing,” Harry finished.

“What are you three hens gossiping about?” Eleanor said from behind Zayn, head poking out of the tent.

“Eleanor!” he said, startled, turning to give her a hug hello.

“How long were you standing there?” Louis asked, looking unashamed as usual.

“Long enough, you little gossip. Don’t you think things are odd enough between them without every person in camp knowing every little detail?” she said, reaching out to pinch his side. He flinched back, but grinned, unapologetic.

“Can’t I just be a concerned friend?” he asked, batting his eyelashes woefully.

“You? No. Harry? Maybe,” she said with certainty.

“I resent that,” Louis said, while Harry celebrated the half-victory.

“No you don’t,” Zayn said, rolling his eyes.

“No I don’t,” Louis agreed, with a broad smile.

“You’re terrible,” Eleanor said, fighting off a smile of her own.

“I am,” he said, “but you like me anyways.”

“I must be out of my mind,” she said, pulling him into a quick kiss.

“Enough of that, lovebirds. Eleanor, has Matt been by?” Zayn asked. She nodded.

“Yes. I think Niall told him the cart was here and he came by a little bit ago. Your wares should be all sorted, I’d expect.”

“Perfect. I guess that-”

“What are you all doing standing outside my tent? I have a perfectly serviceable tent and I’ve been waiting on you all to get back so we could have supper. Harry, since you’re here and a fair hand better at it than anyone else, you get to make it,” Niall said, looking at them all accusingly before grabbing Harry by the elbow and pulling him into the tent. Zayn and the others were quick to follow at the promise of a good meal.

Inside, Liam lounged by the table, supported by a comfortable cushion and bad arm in a sling. He looked tired – his injuries likely putting a toll on his normal stamina as he healed. That and the task of getting everything squared away always took the wind from Zayn’s sails, and likely did the same to Liam. Lily snuggled into Liam’s far side and Safaa was nowhere in sight. She must have returned to Trisha’s tent without Zayn seeing her, which meant she probably came from the lake.

Not really bothering to hide his intentions, he chose the seat at the table closest to Liam.  
“I’m sorry about my mother,” he said, sitting down, “She was pretty hard on you earlier.” 

Liam shrugged his uninjured shoulder.

“She was just doing her job, keeping you all safe. It’s hard to be angry with someone whose intentions are good,” Liam explained.

“I think you manage it just fine,” Zayn said, before he could talk himself out of it. Liam’s eyebrows rose in surprise. Zayn smiled to take away some of the bite, but not all of it. Liam gave him a nod in recognition, but he also a pinched him sharply on the hip.

“Don’t start,” Liam said. 

“What did Jana say?” he asked, aware that his friends were pretending not to watch him curiously. Harry and Niall at least were distracted with putting supper together, but Eleanor and Louis were making idle conversation. Given the glances his way, he had a strong suspicion that their conversation was about him.

“She said that I should thank you for putting me together well,” Liam said, taking a drink of water.

“She did, did she?” Zayn asked, feeling pleased.

“Yes. So, thanks, healer Zayn. I appreciate your service,” Liam said.

“Anytime,” Zayn said back, grinning.

“Are you going to be flirting the whole time?” Louis drawled, looking bored.

That was it. Eleanor was not going to get a chance to make a mating claim. He was going to kill Louis.

“Not sure yet. Are you going to be an ass your whole life? Or is this just something you’re doing right now?” Liam said calmly, stroking a hand over Lily’s head. Zayn found himself startled into laughing at the taken aback look at Louis’ face. Eleanor grinned like it was her birthday and smacked the table.

“Is ‘ass’ a mean word?” Lily asked with woeful certainty.

“Not in Louis’ case, love - then it’s just an adjective,” Eleanor said quickly with a smirk.

“Oi! Attacked by my own woman. It’s indecent,” Louis said, looking indignant.

“Did I lie?” she asked, voice sweet.

“I didn’t hear any lies, did you Niall?” Harry asked, stirring something that smelled delicious.

“Huh? No. I didn’t hear any,” Niall said.

“The world’s against me,” Louis said, striking a wounded pose. Harry threw a piece of bread at him. Louis picked it off his chest, perking up immediately, and began to eat. Eleanor rolled her eyes, turning away as he munched with supposed relish.

“So Liam, did you pick up any good horses in Sevarre?” she asked.

“The horse I sold you not treating you well?” Liam asked, concerned. She held up her hands, waving away his concerns.

“No, no. Nothing like that. Just curious,” she said.

“Yeah, we did. I think the new stud will do wonders for my stock,” he said, and soon they were talking back and forth about horses and Sevarre. Zayn watched the exchange, something settling nice and warm in his gut at the image of Liam sitting around a table and talking amicably with his friends. Even Louis edged himself into the conversation with Liam, and it didn’t even look like he was trying to be a jackass.

Zayn talked to Lily about Safaa and her afternoon hours with Niall while leaning across Liam, his hand splayed open on Liam’s chest.

All talk was interrupted briefly by the arrival of food on the table. Harry and Niall lay the plates carefully, Niall already grabbing a piece of meat as he did so. Everyone gave praise and thanks to Harry, who smiled at the hungry appreciation. Soon the only noises at the table were those of eating, conversation trickling back in when they began to meet their stomachs’ capacities. Lily finished first, and with a kiss for Niall and Liam, she darted out of the tent in pursuit of Safaa to catch glow-bugs before bedtime.

As soon as the tent flap closed once more, Liam turned to Zayn.

“What did your mother decide to do with the information we gave her?” he asked. Shaken from their comfortable dialog about nicer things, everyone at the table turned to Zayn.

“She’s going to send out scouting groups on weekly missions. My father is sorting them out now so that the first group can leave tomorrow morning. They’ll be looking for anything suspicious and talking to local travelers to see if they’ve heard anything,” he said, using a thumb to wipe grease from his bottom lip.

“How many per team?” Liam asked, pushing his own plate away.

“Ten to fifteen warriors in each.”

“That’s some heavy artillery, Zayn! Is your mother going to be able to go out on her scheduled raid in a month’s time whilst spread so thin?” Niall asked, curious. Zayn’s side felt suddenly cool, and he realized that it was because Liam had pulled imperceptibly away from where they had been slumped together. His jaw clenched and he gave Niall an irritated look for breaking the ease of the afternoon. Niall, focused on his plate again, remained oblivious, though Eleanor gave him a sympathetic glance.

Gods. Always one step forward, two steps back.

“She didn’t say,” Zayn said, looking down.

Liam rose next to him and excused himself to check on the horses. When he was gone, Zayn placed his head on the table with a moan.

“Gods above, Niall. And people say _I’m_ thick,” Louis said, sounding exasperated. Harry gave Niall a cuff on the ear and Niall spluttered.

“What? What did I say?” Niall said, looking injured.

“You just ruined the mood and scared Liam away, obviously,” Louis said, gesturing dramatically. Zayn pulled himself away from the table, deciding that it was safer for his mental state to go after Liam instead of arguing with Niall over the merits of not saying everything that comes to mind. He heard Niall squawk behind him, but didn’t look back.

Liam was not by the corral in back of Niall’s tent. Zayn walked past, running his hand over the fencing as he glanced around before heading down the path to the lake instead. The glow-bugs were coming out as Lily had hoped, and they meandered together across the path in silent harmony with one another. Watching them, he was almost surprised by the sight of the lake and of Liam leaning against a tree. He felt a pang of concern when he saw that Liam was holding his injured side.

“Are you alright?” he asked. Apparently having heard his approach, Liam did not startle. Instead, he looked back at Zayn with a little smile.

“I’ll be fine. I’ve just gotten complacent. Forgot for a moment there that raiding is your way of life,” he said. Zayn flinched back and rubbed his neck with one hand.

“Ah, no. I mean. I wanted to talk to you about that too, I guess, but I was mainly asking about your wound. You looked like it was bothering you,” he said, looking down. Liam startled, as if just noticing that his hand had traveled to his side of its own accord.

“Oh,” he said, rubbing his shoulder tenderly, “It’s fine. I wasn’t just sparing your feelings when I told you Jana said you’d done good work. She said it is healing nicely and, as long as I don’t strain it, I should be mostly healed within the month.”

“That’s good to hear. Though I fear we shouldn’t be bothering you and supping in your tent. You probably could use a rest,” Zayn said, feeling a little sheepish for inviting himself and the others to dinner.

“It’s fine. I do enjoy Harry’s cooking, and I’m sure that your friends missed you and wanted to see you. Besides,” he said, giving Zayn a slightly wicked look, “Niall’s been a fair hand today helping with the horses.” Zayn returned the look with one of his own.

“Is that so?” he asked, smiling.

“That’s right. Looks like he’s walking to his death when he does it, and lets them walk all over him, but he does it all the same,” Liam said. Zayn laughed.

“Now there is a sight I would like to see,” he said, and they shared a moment, enjoying the idea of their friend in the daily minor peril of horse management.

“Well, um. You’re welcome to come by and watch, I mean, give us a hand while I’m healing if you’d like,” Liam asked, looking down. It was too dark to tell if the redness high on his cheeks was real or only a figment of Zayn’s active imagination.

Zayn’s heart shifted from a walk to a gallop. Liam had never explicitly invited him over by himself before.

“Yeah?” he asked softly, wanting to hear it again.

“Yeah. Besides, I want you to get to know the black one better, the one I have my eye on for you,” Liam said to the sooty lake sand by their feet. Zayn’s heart soared.

“I’d like that,” he said, taking a chance and leaning on the tree next to Liam. Liam shifted over slightly to accommodate him, but not enough to avoid him entirely, allowing a warm line of contact to spread between their bodies. They stood like that for a long moment, watching the horses graze sleepily next to the lake. The younger fillies and colts lay on the ground, exhausted with the day’s effort of growing and performing mischief.

“Liam,” he said, breaking the silence, a thought itching terribly between his temples and demanding to be voiced.

“Hmm?” Liam hummed, slouching further into the tree.

“Do you think you’d ever decide to stay here?” Zayn asked, wanting to know and not wanting to know in the same moment. They were so close that Zayn felt Liam’s breath upon his face as he turned towards Zayn in question.

“Am I not here with you now?” Liam hedged. Zayn turned to look at him, trying not to let his thoughts be distracted, to ignore that their faces were inches apart.

“Don’t,” Zayn said, as much to himself as to the other man. Liam sighed, turning his face away.

“I don’t know if I can stay forever, Zayn. It’s…it’s hard being here sometimes, having the history that I do,” Liam said, voice soft.

“Because we’re a raiding tribe, you mean,” Zayn said, knowing the answer.

“Yes,” Liam said honestly. Zayn moved more fully into Liam’s side, as if unconsciously trying to keep him grounded.

“Are you not happy here?” he asked. He could feel Liam thinking next to him, weighing his response carefully.

“I’m not _not_ happy,” he said. Zayn snorted despite himself and gave Liam a light pinch, leaving his hand to stray on Liam’s hip afterwards.

“Try running that by me again, please?” he asked. Liam shifted next to him and Zayn tightened his hold on his hip, not wanting him to escape before they finished talking. “Liam?”

“I do like it here, most days. I like being able to work with my horses, and to have a home for Lily. I like having plenty to eat, and to sleep through the night more nights than not with the comfort of warriors shielding my back. And Lily is happy here. She is honestly more at peace here than she was at the village where she spent most of her life, and there is much for her to do. She loves Safaa, and Niall. And you, Zayn. She cares for you a great deal as well,” Liam said.

“But she. She doesn’t let me touch her,” he said, surprised. Liam shrugged.

“I can’t explain how her system works, Zayn. I can only say that with the way she talks about you, it’s clear to me that she values you in her life. Who am I to take that from her? When she’s old enough to leave the village of her own will, she may not even want to. And I will not leave without her,” Liam said.

“You really love her,” Zayn said, after a pause.

“I do,” Liam said simply.

Looking at that strong face, the sleepy slant of those brown eyes, Zayn found himself leaning in closer and pressing his mouth to Liam’s in a soft kiss. He pulled back after a moment and found Liam looking back, curious.

“Just so you could say you’d done it twice?” Liam asked, edge of humor and something else in his voice.

“Maybe,” Zayn said, feeling giddy and stupid with it. “Or maybe I just like you.”

“Insolence,” Liam said, though his eyes laughed.

“But Liam – just know that Lily isn’t the only one with friends here. I meant what I said before – I want you to be happy, anywhere, but I’d love for you to try and be happy here,” Zayn said, stepping away at last and turning to walk back up the path to camp.

He was halfway up the path again before Liam called up to him to bid him goodnight. Zayn returned the sentiment, vibrating with nerves.

After all, he meant it. It had been a good night.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In retrospect, I feel like I should put a warning on this chapter that this is an angsty one - sorry. But it's also the catalyst for things to happen that need to happen, so bear in mind that the last two chapters are in a very different place and hold tight :).

Zayn’s scouting efforts had been uneventful. They had met a handful of different traveling groups, but none had heard of slaving activity, probably because they were too large to be considered easy targets. The previous three groups had better luck and, though they did not find slavers, they found villagers that had encountered them. The reports were painting an unpleasant, but distant, picture for Trisha – slavers were much more common than they had been in previous years, and more aggressive, but they were not found outwardly attacking villages or tribes. An actual slaver had yet to be caught and forced to share information outside of Zayn’s brief interaction with Orin.

The fourth group of scouts would be arriving any day now. Given the lack of solid leads, Trisha had decided to go forth with her scheduled raiding party. Zayn would leave with her a week after the remaining scouts returned.

For once, Zayn was loathe to go.

He was usually excited at the prospect of a raid, at the idea of finding new people to help his clan to become stronger. Although he loved being at home with his family, it was also good to explore and see new places, and to ensure that his clan was safe from any would-be threats forming in the East.

But his courtship was finally - _finally_ \- going well with Liam. After the first open invite to look at the black mare, he had been ignoring all of his other responsibilities to come and visit Liam daily and help with the horses. Niall was certainly grateful for the reprieve, and scuttled out with a vague excuse as soon as it became clear what Zayn was doing there. Of course, Zayn made sure to time his first visit in such a way to be able to witness Naill being manhandled by some very persistent young horses while Liam tried not to laugh.

Liam was healing every day – Jana removed his stitches about a week after they had arrived, and the skin was pink looking and healthy. Zayn was happy to help and to be depended on as Liam worked his way to full speed, and the time alone with Liam or with Liam and Lily was wonderful.

Sawda, as he had named the black mare, was his, bought and paid for, but he kept her with Liam’s herd as he trained her. Liam helped where he could, talking to her in that soft voice that made all his horses – and Zayn – follow him around dopily. Fast and strong, she was coming along nicely, though she still needed training to hold steady through the distractions provided by a hunt or battle. Just the other day she had jumped at the splash of a fish tail in the lake and tossed him headlong into the water. She had looked at him after, perplexed as to why he was sitting in the lake, while Zayn glowered and Liam laughed until he cried.

Now that his confession of enslavement was in the air and his slave mark was no longer a secret, Liam often went bare-chested as he sunned himself while watching Zayn do the heavy lifting, complaining that his shirt made the healing cuts itch.

Zayn was certainly not one to argue in the face of such clear discomfort.

Liam had caught him looking a couple hundred times, but he never said anything. Depending on his mood, he would either smile back at Zayn with eyebrows raised in question, or bite his lip and look away, ears tipped red. Zayn wasn’t sure which sight pleased him more.

Zayn hadn’t stolen any more kisses off of Liam, except for a couple on his cheek or brow to bid him goodnight. He was still too cowardly to confess to Liam outright, or to ask what Liam thought of his attentions. He was wont to ruin the ease of their conversations of late, the quiet moments of sharing where Liam would mention something about his life with his family before the Vocenti. So no, he did not breach their friendship with thoughts of claiming. He took those thoughts to back to his tent and mulled over them until he fell asleep or became distracted by remembering the curve of Liam’s ass or the way his skin looked in the sunlight or the way he had smiled wide when he watched Niall take a header into the sand, courtesy of one young colt.

But Zayn would be leaving in about a week for a raid, and he worried that all of his work with Liam would be erased with the physical reminder of what he was. The months of getting Liam to open up to him were all too present in the back of his mind. What would his face look like when Zayn returned hauling people back to the clan and away from their homes? Would he look at Zayn and see a friend?

Or would he see a slaver?

The thought made him eager to spend as much time with Liam as he could before his departure, to hammer his presence in Liam’s mind as something more than a warrior. It was challenging – he’d never worried before about not being enough for someone. Never worried about coming up lacking.

Often when he came to Niall’s tent to see Liam, he would find it empty and Liam already at the lake. As such he had taken to walking straight to the lake from his own tent and meeting Liam there. If Liam were not there, he would work with Sawda on his own until Liam joined him. And although Liam was a strong draw, Sawda was a draw all on her own.

That morning, he woke up with a strong urge to see her. Liam was not the only one in danger of forgetting Zayn’s lessons. He would use Doniya’s horse for the raid while she stayed behind and managed the clan. Sawda would hopefully use these last days with him to recognize the importance of not losing all of her newfound knowledge. He knew Liam would continue her training while he was away, but he felt awkward asking him to. By unspoken agreement, neither of them talked about the upcoming raid more than was strictly necessary.

After pulling on his leathers and boots and putting his hair together, Zayn found his way to the lake and to his girl. She was grazing with a big white mare with brown splotches on her hide that Liam had identified to him as Shara. Liam’s own mare, Fiora, was taking a long drink from the water a ways away.

“Hello, sweetheart,” Zayn said, approaching Sawda and scratching her along her neck and withers. She sunk into his touch, squirming so as to get his fingers where she wanted them. He took his time, getting her used to his touch, even on uncomfortable places like her gums or her ears. 

Eventually, he picked up a brush with hard teeth and began to rub it along her hide, allowing dirt and hair to fall away. He wiped away the debris and moved to check her feet, praising her when she offered each one after a light touch near the desired fetlock. She had come such a far ways already, no longer fighting him for possession of her hooves and instead allowing him to take his time looking for stones wedged near the frog or bad cracks in the shell of each hoof.

As he reached for her left hind hoof, a loud crack pierced the air, startling him and Sawda. She kicked out both hind legs, narrowly missing him, and took off along the lake while the other horses pranced nervously or pinned their ears. Swearing, Zayn looked around for the source of the noise and found a figure twenty yards away standing on top of a flat stone on the lakeshore with bits of rock surrounding his feet. As Zayn watched, the young man grabbed a rock and tossed it down towards the flat stone and making it break into pieces with another loud noise.

Scowling his irritation and still feeling the whip of air along his face as Sawda kicked out and almost broke his neck, Zayn marched to the other figure. He came at the other man from his back, and though he made no move to quiet his angry steps the stranger did not turn around. Through the haze of adrenaline and anger, Zayn did not recognize the other man until he had spun him around with a hand at his shoulder and another fisted in his shirt. He paused.

“Calum?” he asked, surprised. It was Calum, but it was Calum as he’d never seen him. His eyes were red and puffy and his face was an ugly mess of tears and snot. He did not react when Zayn grabbed him, and instead stood limply in his hold, not even bothering to hide his wet face. He looked like his world was ending. “Calum? What has happened?”

Calum looked off across the lake, unresponsive. Zayn gave him a slight shake. “You just about killed me when you scared the hell out of my horse smashing rocks, so I think I deserve to know what I might have died for,” he said. Calum shrugged.

“He- he said. He said he doesn’t-” Calum couldn’t finish, face crumpling as he began to cry. Feeling like a bully, Zayn let go of his shirt and pulled the other boy towards him, wrapping his arms around him and holding him.

“Shhh, it’s okay Calum. We’ll figure it out,” he said soothingly, smoothing a hand down his back. Calum clung to him like a lifeline, deep sobs wracking his slim form. Zayn whispered other platitudes as he held him, waiting out the cries until they became less heaving and frequent and his breathing evened out but for a couple sad hitches.

The Calum he knew was usually good-tempered and fun. While Zayn did not spend much time with Calum on a one-to-one capacity outside of talking about his weapons trade, he had watched him grow from the young child he was when he and Mikey had arrived with their families some ten years before. 

Luke had come after, a chubby boy hiding behind his mother and arriving only about five years ago, Ashton following shortly after. Calum had adapted well to clan life, both as a tradesman and as a warrior, though he spent most raids at home caring for his craft.

Mikey and Calum had been inseparable at first while Luke and Ashton seemed to orbit around their dynamic, not specifically excluded but not invited either. And then Mikey, in his Mikey way, had taken offense to Luke for some reason or another, and Luke had reflexively returned the sentiment. But within the last few years, all four had fallen in together, even going so far as to perform together during feasts occasionally. And last year, Luke had started an apprenticeship with Calum to learn the weapons trade.

Zayn pulled back from Calum and led him gently to a sitting position by the lake. Using his fingers, he wiped away the tears from Calum’s face. Calum pulled back, face becoming red.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled, ducking Zayn’s gaze.

“Don’t worry about it. It’s not as if you wouldn’t do the same for me,” Zayn said calmly. He sat with the other boy without speaking, watching the horses graze and the young ones play with each other.

“He told me he doesn’t want to be with me,” Calum said, into the quiet. He pulled his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around them, looking for all the world like the little boy he had been when he first arrived at camp all those years ago.

“Who did?” Zayn asked, needing to be sure.

“Luke. He, ah, he came to me today to tell me. Said he wasn’t being fair,” Calum said, head dropping to rest on his knees.

“I’m sorry Calum,” he said, meaning it. Calum shrugged, not looking up.

“Things had been going okay too. He and Mikey made up, and Luke said he was sorry for accusing me of making fun of him. He left it at that, but I didn’t want to push it because it was so shitty when he was mad at me and we were finally all hanging out again,” he said, sighing.

“But?” Zayn asked, knowing there was a ‘but’ coming. Calum began to tense again and, fearing that tears were imminent once more, Zayn put a careful hand on the back of his neck and started carding his fingers through Calum’s thick hair. Calum took a deep shuddering breath.

“But then it wasn’t enough and I had to know so I, uh, I asked him if he would accept my claim of courtship if I made it at the next feast since he knew I was serious. And then he looked really sad and said he had hoped I wouldn’t ask or that I’d forget, and that he was sorry for being cowardly and not just telling me sooner. That he, ah. That he didn’t want to be with anyone serious right now. He just wanted to work on his trade and singing – he’s amazing, you know?” he looked up at Zayn, and Zayn found himself nodding along to appease his ardent look, dropping his hand from the boy’s neck. “He is. He’s the best singer I’ve ever heard, and that’s not just because I’m in lo- uh. Because. Well. He’s just the best. And he wants to go to Sevarre to sing and I know he’s going to find some wealthy patron to back him and I’ll never see him again.”

“Is that why you pushed for the claim so suddenly?” Zayn asked, pieces falling together.

“Sort of. I mean, even when he and Mikey were fighting like cats I used to catch myself watching him, wanting to know what he was thinking. I’ve known for months what that meant. And he keeps growing up and getting more and more handsome and it’s only a matter of time before someone else takes interest and takes him away. I knew, I _know_ that would be even worse than sending him to Sevarre. Having to see him every day with his arm around someone else, being kissed by someone else. I’d go crazy,” he said, shaking his head.

“But did you mention any of that to him? Or that as a courter you would be happy to go with him to Sevarre? Claiming someone in courtship is a serious mark of intention. Does he know that you would not expect him to give up his goals to stay with you?” Zayn asked, suspicion growing in his mind. Calum looked at him, confused frown on his face.

“No. But I didn’t think I would need to,” he said slowly, thinking. Zayn let go of a breath. Of course.

“Luke’s pretty young, Calum. As are you. He might not be ready for something that so closely precludes a mating claim. I think-”

“I know! But he. He’s all I want. I mean, things don’t have to change even. We could just keep doing what we’re doing. But, um,” Calum said, starting stubborn and trailing into bashful.

“But be friends that kiss sometimes and hold hands and maybe also each other’s dicks?” Zayn asked, smiling a little. Calum’s ears glowed hot.

“Shut up. I just-”

“Hush and let me talk. I think you should explain all this to Luke. I think you scared him by asking for too much too quickly. Ask him to give you a chance with a more unofficial courtship, something more fun and easy. I know you are ready for something more permanent, Calum, but you have to accept that he might not be ready,” Zayn said, keeping his tone light and friendly. Calum looked at him for a moment and then back at his knees, picking at an old scab there.

“You think that would work?” he asked. Zayn nodded.

“Sure. What do you have to lose? If he says no, than at least you’ll have tried your best and you can go and lick your wounds. If he says yes, then you’ll be one step closer to having him as your mate,” Zayn said. Calum picked at his knee some more, thinking, before nodding.

“Okay, I see what you mean. I’ll do that. Thanks, Zayn,” he said, looking up with a half smile. His eyes were still red and his face puffy from his crying, but he looked much better than before.

“No problem. As long as you just promise to stop smashing rocks by the lake, I’ll call it even,” Zayn said. Calum gave a small laugh, guilty expression stealing over his face.

“Sorry,” he said. “For the rocks. And for whining on. But I guess you’re a good person to talk to about these things.”

“What do you mean?” Zayn asked.

“Oh. Well just that everyone knows how you feel about Liam. I’m sure the scene this morning was a nasty surprise,” he said with a shrug. Zayn’s neck prickled, a foreboding feeling that he ignored.

“What scene?” he asked. Calum frowned.

“The troupe of dancers that the fourth scouting group returned with- the woman? With the curly hair? I was sure you’d seen the way that Liam had looked at her. I thought that was the reason you were down here, to get some time alone. Zayn? What’s wrong?”

Zayn was sure his face must be a fright, features collapsing into dread.

“What woman?” he asked. Calum looked concerned, expression incongruous with his own cried out features.

“I don’t know her name – her troupe hasn’t come to our camp before. She and the others arrived just this morning with the fourth group. Liam was out with Lily when they came in, and when they saw each other, Gods Zayn, they just froze and then ran to each other. They were crying and smiling. Did you not see? He held her like he loved her,” he said, each word twisting an invisible knife into Zayn’s gut. Zayn found himself breathing quickly, almost gasping. A quick look affirmed that his hands were shaking. He stood up quickly enough that Calum started, falling back onto his elbows, before scrambling up next to him. “Zayn? What is it?”

“I need to-” he started.

“Calum? Are you there?” a voice called, interrupting.

Luke.

Calum stilled, face paling and completely forgetting Zayn’s problems in the face of his own coming to find him. Luke had come down the same path that he and Calum had taken. He stood at the edge of the lake, looking the wrong direction, but he turned quickly and caught sight of them. Eyes darting between Zayn and Calum he looked unsure, biting his lip.

“I’m not ready yet!” Calum hissed to Zayn, giving Luke an awkward smile and an aborted wave that Zayn barely registered, mind a million miles away.

He did not have time for this. He needed to go, needed to run to Niall’s tent and confirm Calum’s story. He needed to know that it was a lie, a misunderstanding. To know that Liam was not in love with someone else, not when Zayn had been waiting patiently for Liam to recognize his interest.

Lacking patience, he shoved Calum in Luke’s direction, making him catch himself with several stumbling steps.

“You’re never going to be ready if you don’t do this now,” Zayn said, merciless. Teeth still worrying his bottom lip, Luke walked forwards until he stood in front of Calum, shoulders hunched.

“Mikey said you were down here,” Luke mumbled, taking in Calum’s puffy eyes and runny nose with a frown. Calum said something softly in return, something that Zayn did not catch over the roaring in his ears as he walked past them towards the path that led to camp. His walk quickened into a jog that turned into a sprint until he was running fast enough that he could barely catch his breath.

He ran all the way to Niall’s tent and pulled the tent flap aside and jumped inside without announcing his presence. He looked around wildly and then stopped to stare at Liam who sat on one of the plush cushions. He was not alone.

A woman was with him.

She sat facing Liam, his hands in hers, but she turned her face to Zayn in response to the noise of him barging into the tent. She was really quite pretty, he thought, hands curling into fists to hide their shaking.

“Zayn? What’s wrong?” Liam asked. His face had a leftover smile from his conversation with the woman, but confusion formed a line between his brows. Before Zayn could speak, could think of something – anything – to say, the woman interrupted. 

“ _This_ is Zayn, Liam?” she said, looking between the two of them with a delighted smile. 

“The very one,” Liam said with a nod, concern still writ on his features but fading. 

“Liam was just telling me about you!” she said. She turned to Liam with a teasing look. “But he didn’t say that you were so handsome. Gods. No wonder he is so taken with you,” she said. If it were any other day, Zayn might have rejoiced in the light blush that dusted Liam’s cheekbones or the way he reprimanded her softly.

But on any other day, there was not a strange woman in Liam’s tent threatening his courtship. Zayn felt anger rise in his blood, hot and familiar. How dare she. How could she come into their lives when everything finally looked like it might fall into place? How dare she let Liam look at her so fondly? Like he was memorizing the way she looked. 

Like he loved her. 

“You know my name, lady, but I still don’t know yours. I heard that our scouts returned with a dance troupe, but I was by the lake and did not see you come in. Liam did not mention anything to me about knowing a dancer,” he said. His tone was blunt, rude even, but he could not restrain himself. Liam’s smile dropped from his face entirely, looking puzzled. Even the woman looked slightly surprised. 

“Oh, sorry. My name is Danielle. Liam and I used to live in the same village for a while,” she said pleasantly. 

“Our village was attacked by raiders looking for healing supplies. I think they had a sickness travelling through their camp. Our village fought back, unwilling to give up the supplies. The raiders won, but they ended up taking not only supplies but people too. Dani and I were separated,” Liam explained. He turned back to Danielle. “Gods, I thought you were dead. When I saw you among the others I thought I was seeing a ghost.”

“Me too, Liam,” she said, eyes damp as she squeezed his hands. 

“How did you get separated?” Zayn asked abruptly, eyes on their joined hands. Taking a few steps forward, he sat next to them uninvited. Liam shrugged, looking at him speculatively. 

“Dani was training to be a priestess then, and lived in the small temple in the center of the village. I was knocked out when I tried to go to her, and they took me, probably with the aims of making me a raider. When I came to, she was not with the other prisoners,” Liam said. Dani made a distressed noise. 

“I was so worried for you. The head priestess has us hide in a secret place in the temple when they came. They came without any warning, you see, confident because there were so many of them and they just planned to swan in and take what they wanted. But Liam ran drills with the villagers so many times that they were not going to let that happen,” she said. 

“Drills?” Zayn asked, attention caught for a moment away from the story and the way that their fingers intertwined. Beside him, Liam stiffened. 

“Dani-” he started sternly. 

“He didn’t tell you?” she asked, surprised. “Liam volunteered to help train the village’s defenses to keep us safe. He helped us repel several attacks. That time though we were just overwhelmed by the amount of them.”

Zayn’s eyes were on Liam as she told her story. He caught the way that Liam’s jaw clenched and his face clouded. So it was true then. Everything she was saying was true. No wonder the farmers of the village had seemed more prepared than most. No wonder they looked to Liam for guidance on what to do when his mother offered her choice. He was their strategist, their expert on being raided.

Zayn felt his throat tighten in a helpless sort of rage. What else was Liam keeping from him? Would he ever share everything with Zayn? 

Was it even Zayn’s right to ask him to?

“I thought you said you weren’t a killer,” Zayn asked, voice hoarse with the scratching of all his unsaid thoughts. Liam looked at him, the beginning strains of annoyance beginning to deepen the lines by his mouth. 

“I’m not, not anymore. But you know that, Zayn,” he said. 

“Do I? Seems like there’s a lot I don’t know,” Zayn said, voice just as hard. 

“Well, it’s only been a short time, Zayn! Liam takes a while to open up,” Danielle said, clearly trying to ease the tension. Her comment served as a distraction at least, and Liam turned away from Zayn, frown lines clearing as he looked at her. Zayn wanted to break something, to tear it apart at her implication. 

“So how does a priestess become a dancer? Most people don’t abandon their dedication for that,” he said, making Liam whip his head towards him again. Zayn felt a sick curl of pleasure at having his attention once more. He felt sharp around the edges, as if he would cut someone who touched him with only his skin.

“Zayn!” Liam said, clearly irritated. 

“It’s okay, Liam. I understand – it would seem an odd choice for some people. It’s only natural that he would be curious,” she said calmly. Liam harrumphed, turning from Zayn with a last glare. 

“Fine,” he said shortly. 

“Thank you,” she said teasingly, rolling her eyes. “I became a priestess because I wanted to be a dancer, and that was the closest thing to something like that in our village. We lived to the south of Sevarre, and I knew I could dance in the city, but I was only sixteen then and I could not imagine leaving my family, so I compromised. Our temple used dance to praise the Mother, you see, and I was able to do what I loved while thanking the goddess that gave me the gift.

“After the raiders left, I stayed to help rebuild the village, but afterwards I left for Sevarre with some other villagers seeking family. I stayed with friends until I found dancers performing in the city and begged them to take me with them. They agreed, and I’ve been traveling ever since, moving from place to place to perform for people,” she said, ending her tale with a smile. 

“Are you happy, Dani?” Liam asked softly. 

“Oh Liam, more than you could imagine! I get to see so many places and do what I love. What more could I ask for?” she said with a shrug of her slim shoulders. 

“Why did you come with the scouting party? Why not just continue on your route?” Zayn asked. 

“We are always looking for a place to perform, and the scout leader told us that the chieftan of your tribe was fond of music and dancing. He asked if we would like to come, even after we had shared all of our information,” she said. 

“Information? What are you talking about?” Zayn asked. She looked at him and winced, suddenly taking her palm to her forehead. 

“Right, right, I forgot you weren’t there when we checked in. My information about the slavers,” she said. Zayn’s irritation quelled. 

“Go on,” he said.

“We spend a lot of time in Sevarre. There are often festivals looking for dancers, or wealthy people willing to give us a meal or a bed for an evening’s entertainment,” she said. She paused then and looked at Liam, who nodded. 

“It’s okay, I’m fine,” he said. 

“We told your chieftan that we’ve seen slavers move in and out of the city with increasing regularity – and in larger groups. It is unnatural for slavers to move as such – the greedy bastards usually travel in small groups or by themselves so as not to split their profit,” she said. Zayn found himself nodding, his conversation with Orin coming back to him.

“Tell him about the slavers on the road, Dani,” Liam said. Zayn startled.

“On the road?” he asked, surprised. All of his scouts had seen neither hide nor hair nor ugly glint of a yellow tag in all their travels. 

“That’s right. We encountered them near the divide between the South and the West. A group of twenty strong. They did not move to attack us, but we are a group of thirty with fifteen good mercenaries of our own to protect our business. They did not have slaves with them. But they were not traveling West empty handed. They were traveling South,” she said, face displeased with the memory. 

Zayn could not blame her – he felt ill himself. It was one thing for a small group of slavers to attack him and Liam on the road. However unusual it may have been, it could still be explained as a crime of opportunity. That, seeing them in Sevarre, the slavers had followed them. It was another game entirely if slavers were leaving the West to hunt. 

Orin had not been lying. Slavers were changing. They were not just scavenging the ruins of raided villages. They were organizing in order to take fresher game. 

Coming back to the present from his immersion in his thoughts, he found that Liam was looking at him seriously. 

“What do you think your mother will do?” Liam asked. 

“She’ll probably send the raid out West to see if she can find these amassing armies of slavers,” he answered, knowing the thought to be true. Liam nodded, agreeing, and Danielle smiled at him in an odd way, making Zayn tense further. 

“Gods above I was surprised to see you here, Liam. I remember all of your stories of leaving clans that had taken you. Though I suppose that Lily answers to a lot,” she said, shaking her head with a sweet laugh that Zayn instantly hated.

Liam was a runner. He fucking knew it. 

He probably bided his time at each camp, making friends and settling in to all appearances before taking his leave. Zayn doubted he had said any goodbyes. 

Liam was looking at him cautiously, as if he knew what Zayn was thinking.

“That’s not-” he started, peeling one hand away from Danielle’s grip to wrap his fingers around Zayn’s forearm. Zayn tried to tug away subtly, but Liam held fast. 

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to say that he would leave here,” Danielle said, looking at him in concern. He did not want to even imagine what his face looked like. “Now that I know your clan a little better, I understand that he has a place here. It’s just that first sight of him was a bit of a shock. Liam’s always lived in villages, you see. What was the longest you’ve stayed in a clan, Liam? Three months?” she asked. 

“Two,” he said, eyes on Zayn, trying to tell him something that Zayn was in no mood to receive. 

“Right, right. Well, if you were still planning on running, I’d be happy to take you with me, you and Lily!” she said, joking. Liam laughed with her. Zayn did not. 

“Are there other children in the troupe? Seems a difficult life for a child,” Zayn said. Liam’s hand on his arm tightened in warning and Zayn twisted it away at last, looking only at Danielle.

“Oh yes. Many of the performers have children, and a couple of them are quite young themselves – runaways and the like. It’s safe with us, though. No one tries anything with the mercenaries around, armed to the teeth. And what a life for a child, for anyone! So many adoptive aunts and uncles to look after and teach the children, so many sights to see and people to meet! I think any child would be lucky to grow in such a place,” she said. 

“It sounds amazing,” Liam said. 

“And we both know you’d do well as a dancer, Liam. Or any type of performer,” she said adoringly, making him blush. Zayn felt his jealousy and his anger snap to focus from where it had lazed hazily in his mind. 

“Are you quite familiar with Liam’s physical performances?” he asked meanly. He barely registered the shock on her face before he was standing. 

Standing because Liam had pulled him to his feet by a hand around his arm like a vice. 

“Excuse us,” Liam said politely, and hauled Zayn outside the tent, all but throwing him against the fencing of the coral. 

“What’s your problem?” Zayn said, feeling the sting of impact against his shoulder blades. Liam looked at him, eyes snapping. 

“What’s _my_ problem? Really? What the hell is the matter with you?” Liam said, giving him another push against the fence. Zayn smacked his hands away. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said sulkily. Liam scoffed. 

“Right. Because you’re always offensive to travelers. That definitely sounds like the Zayn I know,” he said incredulously. 

“Were you mated to her?” Zayn asked angrily.

“What? No. Not that it’s any of your business. We might have gone that direction if the raiders hadn’t taken the village, but no. Never,” he said. 

“That’s not what it looks like,” Zayn said stubbornly. Liam made a frustrated noise in his throat and threw up his hands. 

“I don’t care. I’m not arguing about this with you. Gods, Zayn! To think that I was so happy a moment ago to see a friend that I thought was dead. And I thought about how excited I was for the two of you to meet, how much I thought you would like each other. But no. I don’t even understand why you’re so angry. Are you- are you jealous? Is that it? Jealous that I have another friend and another life that you will never be a part of?” he asked, nearly shouting. He growled and scrubbed his hands through his hair, turning away from Zayn to stalk in tight circles between Zayn and the tent. 

“You wanted to introduce me?” Zayn asked quietly, anger seeping away and leaving mostly shame and embarrassment in its wake. Liam paused in his circle, looking over his shoulder at Zayn.

“What? Of course I did. You’re basically my best friend in camp – why wouldn’t I want to introduce you?” he asked, genuinely perplexed, bless him. Zayn rubbed a hand down his face. He’d mucked this up good and proper. 

“I’m sorry. I’ve been an ass. I did not sleep well last night and then I had this talk with Calum by the lake and it’s gotten me all upside-down,” he said, looking properly abashed. Liam looked at him, concern threatening to wipe out the irritation that he was clearly cultivating. 

“You will apologize to Dani,” Liam said at last. 

“Of course. And then I really should go and talk to my mother about the news that they brought,” he added. It was true – his mother was probably growing steadily more annoyed at the lack of his presence in her tent. 

But he had no intention of going there. 

“Alright,” Liam said, watching him closely. “Would you come down later? I want to show Dani the horses and it would be nice to have your help,” he asked. Zayn shook his head, skin feeling itchy with the need to get away, to be alone for a moment and think. 

“No, sorry. I think I’ll go straight to sleep after I check in with my mother. Catch up on rest so I’m less of a beast when I see you next,” he said with a smile that did not reach his eyes. Liam looked at him oddly. It occurred to Zayn that he had never refused one of Liam’s requests before, never turned down the opportunity to spend time with him. 

“Oh. Okay. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then?” Liam asked. Zayn shrugged noncommittally. 

“We’ll see I guess. I’m sure that my mother will want my input on the raid,” he said, looking down. A hand took his chin and forced his face up. Liam was still looking at him strangely. 

“What’s wrong, Zayn?” he asked. Zayn jerked out of his hold. Taking a step past him towards the tent, and then another, sending Liam another false smile over his shoulder. 

“I just told you. Need to sleep is all. I’ll see you later,” he said, pushing into the tent. He nodded at Danielle inside and apologized as sincerely as he could for his behavior, before darting through the entrance and onto the main path at a fast pace. He thought he heard Liam say his name again but he did not stop, did not do anything but increase his pace and go go go. 

He walked blindly, not paying attention to anyone on the way, and shoved himself into his tent where he was finally, blissfully, alone. 

Everything Calum had said was true. 

Liam did look at her like a lover. A lover he wanted to introduce Zayn to, Gods. 

But Liam would not leave. Lily liked it in the clan, would be sad to leave Niall. To leave Zayn. Liam had said as much that other night weeks ago. 

So Zayn would not waste his time worrying about things that would not come to pass. But he would also not bring himself to watch Liam be around her. And when she left, he would resume his courting. 

And so, over the next few days, he poured himself into plans for the raid. His mother seemed suspicious of his enthusiasm, but she did not press. He only visited Sawda when he knew Liam would be eating breakfast or dinner, popping in briefly to let Liam know he would be by the lake and skipping out quickly before Liam could invite himself along. 

He knew Liam was getting frustrated with him, but he couldn’t help it. He knew if he spent time around the two of them that he would be the awful person that Liam had hauled out of his tent that first day, and eventually he would have to explain himself. No, he would rather bear Liam’s frustration than admit to being a possessive bastard. 

Louis, Eleanor, and Harry were all going to attend the raid. Niall had been exempted in order to stay behind and protect the tribe as needed. Niall had grumbled at first, but Zayn had been keen to have a warrior around the tent to protect Liam and Lily – even one as clumsy as Niall. When Zayn had explained it as such, he had been much more keen to cooperate. 

Ashton and Mikey would also be coming, but he asked Trisha to spare Calum and Luke for the village to allow them to sort out their issues. He had seen them in the village in the past couple days, looking unsure but at least not crying into the lake. He had heard from Mikey that the dancers had made Luke an offer as a singer, but that he had declined with a look towards Calum, saying that he would rather try his luck in Sevarre. The parts of him not dedicated to ignoring his own problems rejoiced at the news. 

He had just finished explaining to Mikey and Ashton why their friends were not going on the raid when the news came. 

Harry was the messenger, bursting into Zayn’s tent with the look of someone that had bad news that they were not sure how to share. Zayn sighed and shooed Mikey and Ashton out of the tent. Harry fiddled with his hair, watching them go. 

“Out with it,” Zayn said, tired. The feast would begin in an hour. Danielle and her fellow dancers and singers would perform after the claims had been made, and then they would finally leave the clan and go to their next destination. The last few days of ducking Liam and intensive planning had been difficult. He was looking forward to two peaceful days of having Liam all to himself again before he would leave on the raid. 

“I think Liam is planning to leave with the dancers,” Harry said in a rush. 

Zayn paused in the motion of resting his head on his fist. Stared. 

“What?” he asked softly. 

“I came by to give them some more jam, and the girl was there, the one with hair curlier than even mine. And she. Well, she had a cart out front. And he looked like he was putting half his shop in there, Zayn. It looked like he was moving out,” Harry said, looking miserable. 

Zayn, for his part, found that his first reaction was a strange detachment. He felt as though the tide had finally come after all his efforts to hold it back with his hands. 

Liam was always going to leave him. Always.

Unless.

Unless he had a reason to stay. 

He stood quickly, knocking over a water jug and spilling the liquid everywhere. Somewhere, below the pounding of his heart in his ears, Harry was saying his name. Hands grasped onto his shoulders and shook him.

“Zayn, are you okay? You look like you might pass out. Zayn?” 

Zayn brushed Harry’s hands from his shoulders and walked stiffly out of the tent.

“You’re not going to do anything stupid are you?” Harry asked anxiously. He sounded like he regretted telling Zayn at all. Zayn shook his head, hurrying as he walked. 

“Don’t worry. I’m just going to talk to Liam. Talk. That’s all,” he said, not looking back. He broke into a jog, leaving Harry behind and then the other sights and sounds of the village until he reached Niall’s tent and pushed inside. 

Liam was inside, blessedly alone. He looked up, surprised and then, seeing whom it was, irritated. 

“Nice to see you, Zayn. Haven’t seen you around recently,” he snarked. Zayn ignored him, looking around the tent. 

Most of Liam’s finished pieces – all he had made since coming back from Sevarre with Zayn – were gone. 

“Where’s your stuff?” he asked brusquely. Liam rolled his eyes and Zayn felt his hands clench into fists at his sides. He shoved them into his pockets and looked at Liam expectantly. 

“I’m great, Zayn, thank you for asking,” he drawled. Zayn wanted to leap forward and shake him. Seeming to sense this, or something similar, Liam rose to his feet and faced him. 

“Don’t. Don’t play with me now. Where is it?” he asked again. 

“It’s on Dani’s cart,” Liam said. Zayn felt weak at the knees and stumbled sideways. Liam caught him, hand warm at his waist. “What is wrong with you?”

“Are you leaving then? Without saying anything, you were just going to pick up your shit and leave?” Zayn asked, voice rising. Liam withdrew his hand, a scowl forming between his eyebrows. 

“I was loading it in her cart so she could bring it to Sevarre. She’ll probably get there before I will, and I don’t want to bring Lily into the city until we have more information about the slaver activity,” Liam said reasonably. 

But then again, he probably always had excuses ready for people who had caught him running before. 

“You can’t go,” Zayn said, wincing almost immediately once the words were out of his mouth. Gods but that was the wrong thing to say. Liam’s face immediately shut down. 

“Oh?” he said, tone too calm. 

“I mean-” he started.

“I think I caught your meaning. You think you get to decide when I go and when I stay. I can go to Sevarre, but only if you’re there to keep watch.” Liam spat the words at Zayn. 

“You know that’s not true! I was going to let you go – you know that,” he said, grabbing hold of Liam’s hands and gripping hard. 

“I don’t understand you. I already told you I wasn’t going! Do you think I’m lying to you?” Liam asked, eyes hard. 

“I think you would say most anything if you found a way out and didn’t want any trouble,” Zayn said, helpless against the torrent of words. Liam pulled back hard, but Zayn clung on like a leech.

“If I wanted to leave, there’s nothing you could do or say that would stop me,” Liam said, furious. 

Zayn lunged at him and took his mouth hard, letting go of his hands to grip his face. His lips moved desperately, pressing against Liam’s lips and teeth in an inelegant mashing of faces until Liam shoved him back hard enough to tip him on his ass in the tent. His lip was bleeding, cut on his own tooth, and he was breathing hard, panic rising in his bloodstream white-hot. 

“You can’t just do that, Zayn. I get to consent too!” Liam shouted, wiping his mouth with distaste. 

“I’m in love with you!” Zayn shouted back. He immediately clapped his hands over his face, leaning forward as if he were to be sick. 

Fuck. 

“What?” Liam asked, dangerous edge to his voice. Zayn took a deep breath and dropped his hands. 

“I love you. I have for months,” he said seriously, looking Liam in the eye. Liam shook his head, disbelieving, a sneer forming on his handsome face. 

“No you don’t,” he said.

“Don’t tell me what I feel,” he said. 

“If you loved me, you wouldn’t be using it as a weapon to tie me to you,” Liam said, quietly. Zayn flinched. 

“That’s not-”

“You don’t love me. You want me, but you don’t love me,” Liam said, making Zayn’s mouth fall open from the punch of surprise and hurt.

“What?”

“Don’t play coy. I’ve seen the way you watch me. You want to fuck me, just like old Tom, but at least he just comes out and says it. You want my mouth, my ass, my _cock_ ,” he said with a relish that was so strange and unfamiliar out of Liam’s mouth that it made him feel cold inside. 

“Stop, Liam. Please,” he said, pushing the words out, wanting to cover his ears. 

“You don’t get to have everything that you want. I used to be a slave with a master, but I’m not anymore. You missed your chance,” he said. Zayn’s breath hitched at the assault. 

No. This was all going so wrong. How did this happen? This was all sliding out of his control so fast and each time he tried to catch hold it would slide mockingly between his fingers. 

“I love the way that you looked me in the eye the day we took your village. I love how you’re so stubborn but you care so much about Lily and you can’t help yourself from caring about everyone else too even though you try not to. I love how you tease Niall and hold your own against Louis and make Harry laugh. 

“I never want to own you. Or, at least without you owning me back,” he finished. 

He felt spent and exhausted. Liam was looking at him and Zayn could not read his expression. He felt too tired to try. 

“Please don’t go,” Zayn asked him again. Liam looked away. 

“It’s not your choice,” he said. 

Before they could argue further, the horns sounded, signaling the start of the feast. Feeling dazed like a green warrior returning safe from his first battle, he climbed to his feet and walked past Liam out the entrance of the tent. He heard the tent flap move behind him but did not look and see if Liam followed at his back. 

“Hi Zayn!” he heard at hip height. Lily looked at up at him, hand in hand with Safaa at her side. His heart, battered as it was by its recent tumultuous ride, swelled with happiness at the sight. Lily was happy here, was making friends to tie herself here without thinking of it as a burden. 

“Hello, loves. Ready for tonight’s feast?” he asked. Both girls nodded. 

They talked about nothing and everything on the way to the feast, Zayn’s answers uninspired, his head elsewhere. Liam said nothing but a polite greeting to the girls when they first arrived. Soon they were at the feast circle and Liam and Lily peeled away from him with a last look and a smile from Lily while he and Safaa went to greet his mother. 

He did not bother to find a plate after paying his respects and instead sat quietly, ignoring the curious looks of his parents next to him and his friends across the circle from him. Louis looked like a glutton, carrying an extra plate for Zayn as was their custom, and looked perplexed as he tried to figure out how to eat without use of his hands. 

An idea was forming in Zayn’s mind. A terrible, terrible idea that was going to bite him. But he did not know what else to do. 

He thought on it through watching the eating, and all through the painting ceremony as he painted Doniya and she him. He worked the ins and outs and decided that it was still a terrible idea. 

Yet it was the only one he had. 

So when his mother asked the clansmen if anyone wanted to make a claim of courtship, Zayn stood tall. His friends looked at him from across the circle, Harry’s face as pale as Niall’s as he understood. He looked at Liam and found his gaze focused on him, eyes blazing.

“I request claim of courtship for Liam!” he said, voice ringing into the silence that followed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh man. Long chapter is looong. And full of angst, gah!
> 
> Hope you liked it - I know there's a lot going on here. 
> 
> I'm super excited to write the next chapter - back when I was first imagining this fic, I built the whole thing off the events that happen next. 
> 
> Thank you amazing readers that persevere through the crazy by sticking with me and reading a WIP chapter to chapter. I can't wait to thank you by finishing this beast :).


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since the last chapter was so ouch inducing, I was eager to get this chapter out there to cool the burn. Especially as Liam's story has been kicking around in my head since the get-go. 
> 
> Beware of lots of backstory here, and lots of dialog and 'feelings' :).

Zayn stood under the eyes of all of his clansmen, heart beating a staccato rhythm in his chest.

He knew it was stupid. Knew the chances of Liam accepting his claim were slim to none. 

But what else could he do to prove that he was serious, to prove that Liam wasn’t a fuck or some stupid crush?

He suddenly felt an overarching affection for Calum. 

“And Liam, do you accept the claim?” Trisha asked. 

Liam looked at him, cracked his neck from side to side, and stood up. 

“I do not accept the claim,” he said, voice clear. Zayn closed his eyes. “I also request permission to speak to my claimant outside of the circle. Immediately,” Liam continued. Zayn’s eyes opened again in surprise. Liam wanted to speak to him?

Then again, the way Liam was holding himself implied that perhaps he just wanted to hit Zayn in private. 

“I’ll accept it. But next feast day everyone will stay in the circle throughout the night, and we will enjoy the entertainment without additional nonsense,” she said. There were a few titters in the crowd and then Liam was walking towards him and taking his wrist, pulling him away from the circle and past the first line of tents, the second, and down the path to Niall’s hut. 

His hand slipped down into Zayn’s hand as they walked. Once there, he pulled Zayn back around the tent to the corral where had pushed Zayn up against the fence only a few days ago. He stopped, turning to Zayn. 

“I have half a mind to just punch you in the face,” he said. Zayn winced. 

“I’d probably deserve that,” he said. Liam sighed. 

“I’m not going to. As much as I want to,” he said, a stern look at Zayn telling him _just_ how much he wanted to, “I also realize that you’re not the only one here who has something to apologize for.”

“What?” Zayn said.

“I know that I’ve been difficult, and that you have been doing your best for me and for Lily. I haven’t been fair to you. I’m…sorry,” he said painfully, as if he were extracting teeth from his body. Zayn couldn’t help but to smile. As fucked up as everything was, Liam was still Liam. 

“Can you repeat that? I don’t know if I caught-” 

“Don’t push it. I’m still angry at you,” Liam said, giving him a look. 

“Right. Sorry,” he mumbled. Liam sighed again. 

“Why did you make the claim?” he asked. Zayn shrugged. 

“Wanted you to know I was serious. Make sure you were listening,” he said. Liam, of all things, laughed. 

“Well, I’m definitely listening now, I’ll give you that,” he said, shaking his head. 

“Sorry,” he said again. Liam held up his hands. 

“Nevermind. Look. I didn’t take you here just to yell at you. I took you because I realized that you were past due for an explanation, and that I owed it to you before we killed each other,” Liam said. 

“Yeah?” Zayn asked. 

“Yeah,” he said, sitting down, back against the fence and indicating that Zayn should do the same. Zayn did so slowly, keeping a few inches between their bodies. He heard the start of music in the distance, and felt guilty for making Liam miss his friend’s performance. 

“Are you sure this is something you want to tell me?” he asked. Liam nodded. And then there was a pause as he seemed to gather his words. 

“I told you that I escaped Gou when I was fourteen, right?” he began, looking to Zayn for affirmation. He nodded and Liam continued. “I stole one of his horses when I left, and rode her the day’s ride into Sevarre dressed like some rich little lord. Once I was there, I sold her, and by some stroke of luck I met Andy. He let me stay at his Inn, which was his father’s back then, as long as I helped with the chores and such. I stayed there for a couple months, until I was confident I remembered how to be a free man, and then I looked for a new home. 

“I love Sevarre, but I wouldn’t want to live there, especially then when I was sure that someone would catch me and send me back West. So I talked to the horse traders at market and asked if anyone was willing to take on a worker. I got lucky and one of them offered – a man named Yolen. He lived in the Southeast with his family, and he took me on with only the promise to feed and shelter me, which was all I needed. 

“It was Yolen who first taught me to fight. He had worked in the city guard until he met his wife, Ana, and then he retired to live with her and work on her family’s horse farm.”

“They can retire? I thought they were bound to their duty for life?” Zayn asked, curious. Liam gave him a wry look. 

“I don’t think it’s recommended. He probably had to pay a fortune to be released early,” he said. 

“Oh.”

“In any case, Yolen said it was important for a boy to learn to defend himself and his family. When I told him of my promise to the Gods, he just gave me the staff instead of a sword and told me not to hit anyone on the temple too hard,” Liam said, smiling a little at the memory. 

“Good advice,” Zayn commented. 

“Indeed. He was a good person – treated me like one of his children. Protected me like one too when a wave of clansmen climbed over the outer walls and attacked the village like biting ants crawling into a bird’s nest. The clansmen came for food – it had been a bad year for erdu and other beasts, and our village lay on a river so we had good healthy crops. I don’t think they really wanted to kill anyone, they just did not want to ask for what they could take. 

“Yolen would not give them his stores of oats for the horses, lest his business suffer, so they, ah. They took three fingers from Ana’s left hand in one swipe of a sword, made him crumble in order to save his wife further pain. Being young and brash at fifteen, I attacked them. You can probably imagine how well that went with only a year’s worth of training and good meals,” he said, stealing a look at Zayn who grimaced in sympathy. 

“Exactly. I’m lucky they didn’t end my life. They laughed at my efforts, until I got a lucky hit and broke one of their noses. Then they found me less funny, but no less interesting. They took me away with them. Well, me and six or so other interesting finds – young men and women mostly who they could imagine in their ranks as hunters or such. They rode us far enough East that we did not dream of escaping back to our homes and families. Introduced us to our new lives and our new families,” he said. Zayn squirmed uncomfortably – that sounded a little too familiar. 

“Relax – that wasn’t meant to be a dig. It’s just what happened. Your mother was not the first to have that idea and she won’t be the last,” Liam said, placing a hand on Zayn’s knee and giving it a little shake before taking it away. “I stayed with them for two months, as you know from Dani. I let them train me as a warrior, or start to anyways. And then, when I thought I had learned enough, I left. They weren’t as organized as your mother and didn’t even bother with guards. It was all too easy to steal a horse and go in the middle of their celebration of the equinox,” he said casually. 

“Shaping into a right horse thief, weren’t you?” Zayn asked.

“Hush. I left there on horseback with the vague idea that I would find my way back to Yolen and Ana. Unfortunately, I was not as clever as I thought and I was set upon by another group of clansmen who decided that they liked the look of my horse and my staff and my gold. And one of their women, well, she liked the look of me,” he said. Zayn tensed and Liam put his hand on his knee again. 

“Remember, this is about me, not about you. I’m not saying this to hurt you, just to explain,” he said, looking at Zayn. Zayn nodded, and placed his hand on top of Liam’s. 

“Right, got it,” he said, making himself relax.

“She convinced them to take me back to their tribe. Again, she was quite, ah, persistent,” he said, scrunching up his nose. “She made me sleep in her tent and would get jealous if I talked or even smiled at other people. She used the brand against me – told me that if I refused her, she would send me back West and collect my price. No, don’t look at me like that. She never made me take her. I think she enjoyed the challenge of making me want her of my own volition,” he said, rolling his eyes. 

“She kept me on a tight leash, so to speak, and never let me out of her sight. This put kind of a kink in my escape plans, you’ll understand. So I bided my time and waited for an opportunity. 

“Opportunity came in the form of one of her ex-lovers. He was terribly jealous, wanted her back for unfathomable reasons. He, ah, tried to have me killed,” Zayn’s hand tightened on top of Liam’s without explicit permission from his brain. What had Liam looked like at fifteen? How little had he been? He remembered Harry and Louis and Gods, _Niall_. They had all been so small and skinny then, self conscious except for Louis who was born without shame the way some people were born without freckles. 

“He caught me when I was fetching her water and tried to slit my throat. Luckily, he slipped on the sand and I was able to get the upper hand. I convinced him that if he let me go, he would never see me again. He wasn’t a bad man, just stupid in love, and he agreed to let me go. Even gave me her horse, a gorgeous thing that I admired as soon as I first saw her,” he said, looking up into the sky dreamily. The night was darkening, sun almost sunken beneath the land. 

“What was her name?” Zayn asked. Liam’s eyes closed on a smile. 

“Trodaire,” he said. “I wish you could have seen her. Smart as a whip and all long legs and muscle. She was red of body, but she had a black mane and tail. Fantastic creature.”

“Where did you go with her?” Zayn asked, feeling a little guilty for interrupting what was obviously a favorite memory. Liam opened his eyes to the sky once more. 

“I took her to Sevarre to get supplies, and to hope I would be lucky and find news of Yolen and Ana. I asked around the other traders, and they said Yolen had not been back to market since the attack on the village. I stayed with Andy for another six months and kept Trodaire stabled there. His father let me pay my way through chores and the like as he had done before. But I gave up hope that Yolen was coming and I left to look for him in the Southeast.

“The Southeast was known to be ripe with brigands at that time, at least according to Andy’s father, and so I traveled directly South with plans to go east once I reached Lio. But before I even made it halfway to Lio, I had another spell of bad fortune. This time not with people, but with animals. Trodaire and I were set upon by wild dogs. Starved creatures with no sense left, only hunger. They weren’t going for her, but for me. Pulled me right out of the saddle,” he said.

“The scars on your leg?” Zayn asked.

“Yes. There were five or six of them, but one was bolder than the rest and took me by surprise. Trodaire, she was a sight – killed three of them with her hooves while I took out the others with my staff. But I wasn’t fast enough with the last kill and it tore her leg wide open, laming her beyond repair. I’ll always regret not being quick enough that day. 

“She was in pain and I did what was right by her,” Liam said, eyes sad. Zayn took the hand from his knee and held it in his, interlacing their fingers. Liam squeezed them in appreciation. 

“I’m sorry,” Zayn said.

“Thank you. Whenever I go to market I always look at the Southern horse traders to see if they have any that might be related to her, or at least have her coloring. I love Fiora, but Trodaire had my heart first. Even to have her breeding and producing colts and fillies, Gods, what a line of horses that would be,” he said. 

“I’m sure you’ll find a relation one day. She was meant for you,” Zayn said, the pain of losing his own mare helping him understand the deep attachment that was severed. 

“Meant for me and my ever steady cursed fortune, poor girl. I stayed with her body for a day or two, feeling too broken to move. Would have stayed there longer, feeling sorry for myself, if a party of traders from Dani’s clan hadn’t found me. I had stayed along the main route in my travels and it was really only a matter of time before someone did. I was just lucky it was them.

“They took me to the village and treated my leg, heard my story. They were good people – set me up with their horse traders and let me work my way into their system. And I was determined by then not to let another family be taken from me. I talked to the village leaders and convinced them to let me run drills with the villagers to teach them what I knew about fighting.

“The drills worked. They were able to repel bandits and tribesmen that they had allowed to steal from them in the past. I grew confident in my tenure there, convinced myself that it would be where I would spend the rest of my life. I spent two happy years there, until Dani and I were both eighteen. And then the attack came and all my efforts were for naught. All my lessons only made the villagers more likely to be killed as they fought back against an overwhelming enemy,” he said. 

“You can’t blame yourself for that. You can’t know what the tribe would have done if the thought struck them,” Zayn said. 

“Can’t help it. I’ll always wonder. If I hadn’t been knocked out maybe I could have gotten them to surrender in time,” Liam said. 

“What happened next?” Zayn asked, eager to move Liam away from such thoughts. 

“Ah, right. Well, the tribe that attacked took me and a dozen other prisoners to camp. But I was wrong about their reasons for taking us. They didn’t want us to fight alongside their warriors and become raiders ourselves, no. They wanted to use us as practice for their girls and boys in training,” he said. Zayn grimaced – it was a exercise that he’d heard of before, a way to get young warriors used to fighting an opponent with use of deadly force with limited risk to themselves. It had always seemed like a waste to Zayn. 

“Seeing me fight with a staff, they must of thought me to be a perfect candidate to train their children without killing them,” he said, shaking his head. “They kept us in a pen on their compound like slaves preparing for market, and took one or more of us out when they had use for us. My friends held their own at first, despite their lack of training, but soon they began to die. And I could not find a way out. 

“These tribesmen were different than the ones before – they guarded their clan carefully. There was no way I’d be able to slip through and steal a horse, no matter how nimble my fingers had become in that regard,” he said, wiggling his fingers in Zayn’s hold. 

“How did you get out?” Zayn asked. 

“I showed someone my slaver’s mark,” he said, voice amused. 

“You did what? For what purpose, pray tell, did you do that and think it was a good idea?” he asked. Liam sounded so casual about it, like it was nothing. Like he did not supply himself with an instant death sentence. 

“I know, not my best plan, but I was desperate. I showed one of the men that guarded our pen, told him that there would be a lot of money in it for him if he were to sell us out West, especially with me being a runaway. He took the bait. He had a new pretty little mate, and he wanted to keep her happy. And I may have exaggerated a little about the price that I would go for,” he said, a mischievous light to his face that made Zayn smile a little despite everything.

“The night of our escape, he killed the guards on duty and led us out with his mate, moving quickly into Sevarre as he thought he would be less likely to be killed by his betrayed clansmen if he hid us there. And being the helpful little slave that I was, I told him about an inn that would take us for cheap as long as he explained that he was a slaver looking for a place to keep his wares discretely for the night,” he said smugly. 

“You didn’t,” Zayn said, disbelieving. 

“I did. Led them right to Andy and his father. You can imagine how happy they were to see me tied to a horse, looking like I’d tried to fight a rowak cat. Andy looked fit to ruin the whole thing and kill them on the street, but his father – older and wiser – stepped in. He gave them a room and a space in the stables for us would-be slaves. He lavished them with attention and praise, and fed them the best food he had to offer while he sent a maid to us with scraps. 

“You’d never guess that he was poisoning them, talking to them as their senses dulled and their conversation became sloppy. They went to bed thinking that they had hit the drink too hard, but they did not wake up. In the morning, Andy’s father sent for the guards to come and take the bodies, explaining that they had too much drink and had died. It has happened before, especially as some of the city mead is stronger that what tribesmen are used to. They took the dead away without question, unwilling to test our story for the death of two dirty tribesmen. 

“We were free then, again. I told the others where to go to pick up work to buy a horse and we said our goodbyes,” he said. 

“You did not go with them?” Zayn asked, puzzled.

“No. I wanted to try something new. I had enough of the Southern tribes, and it had been years since I had seen Yolen or Ana. I did not want to interrupt their lives again with my bad luck. I wanted to go North, start over again. But first I wanted Andy to do something for me. I asked him to cut away my slaver’s mark so it could no longer be used against me,” he said. 

“So that’s why it looks like it does. I was wondering how you had done that,” Zayn said, puzzle clicking together.

“Yes. Nearly killed me. I didn’t consider that when a slave owner brands you, it’s infused with something that ties itself to your blood and into your being. It does not like to be parted from you. 

“It was the worst pain I had ever felt. His father caught us because I couldn’t stop screaming, even after Andy had stopped. He looked like he wanted to beat us black and blue for stupidity, but I passed out first. When I woke, he made both of us promise that we would never do that again. We agreed so readily I just about broke my neck nodding my assent,” he said, rubbing his slaver’s mark with a nostalgic wince. 

“I suppose that would be the reason that it’s not a more common practice,” Zayn said, thinking.

“Indeed. It took me a couple weeks to be ready to ride again, but when it was time to go, Andy gave me his horse on a loan. Made me promise to live long enough to come to trade next season and give her back, cheeky git. I took her North, as I had planned. It seemed like my luck had turned – I encountered no clansmen on my way, and on the fourth day, I came to a village. Despite what had happened before, I offered to train their villagers and work their horses if they would allow me to stay. And again, I found myself living peacefully in a new home for more than two years. 

“It was a good place. Peaceful but for a few skirmishes here or there with brigands and the like. Their main trouble was a neighboring village to the east of their camp. The rulers of our villages were brothers, and there was some dispute between them about land and about the mate of the eldest brother – my leader. They mostly ignored each other, but occasionally there would be some rough words between them at a feast or some scrapping between guards at the boundary lands. 

“But even that quieted down. We thought they had made peace,” he said with a laugh. 

“Not so?” Zayn asked.

“Not so. His brother was biding his time and hiring mercenaries, having them come in the night when they would not be seen or traveling in the guise of villagers. And he paid some of our villagers to become spies. A lover I had then, a man, he warned me for days to leave the village but he would not tell me why. I laughed at his concerns, none the wiser that he was selling the secrets of our defenses - _my_ custom defenses – to the other side,” he said, sneering at his past self. Zayn wanted to go and find the man that had used him. Wanted to kill him for hurting Liam, for damaging his trust.

“They attacked our village ruthlessly until we that remained had no choice but to surrender. Their leader killed his brother in front of us, and took his mate as his own. Then he killed all of the spies, including my lover, because he said that traitors would always have a price and that he could not trust them not to find someone willing to pay higher one,” he said, mouth twisting around the words as if he tasted something bad. 

“I’m sorry,” Zayn said softly. 

“Me too. He was foolish, and he met his death for it. Fortune doesn’t favor fools, you know.”

“I do,” Zayn agreed. He shifted closer, allowing their sides to touch. Liam leaned into him for a moment before straightening once more. He did not move from the contact though, allowing Zayn to feel the way his chest moved as he took long breaths in and out. 

“After the takeover, the new leader combined the villages and built dwellings in the boundary between to make one larger village. He was greedy, this new ruler, and it was easy to see that he always envied what he did not have. He took another mate, and another. He built upon his army of mercenaries and looked for other things to take and make his own. I stayed only for a month and then I left on the premise of trading my horses and never came back,” he said. The ease of which he said it made Zayn wonder if he had planned to do that at his mother’s camp before she had made it impossible for him to do so. He decided he did not want to know the answer. 

“I took my horses East instead, traveled for days until I came upon a set of villagers being attacked on the road. A man and a woman, and a young child,” he said. Zayn’s heart clenched. 

“Lily,” he said. 

“Yes. By the time I intervened and chased them off, the man was dead and the woman badly wounded. She managed to direct me to her village, but she died of infection soon after we arrived. And then there we were, Lily and I. Two people alone in the world surrounded by villagers who didn’t know what to make of us. She was so like me that I couldn’t help but to take her under my wing. 

“I raised her like she was my own. Thankfully, she barely remembered the attack, and grew up smart and strong. She could never find many playmates – they always saw her as bad luck, just like I always thought of myself. I taught the villagers how to defend their keep, and I traded my horses as I had done before. 

“But I did not get too comfortable there. Not like before. I knew by then that my presence would only be transient, that someone would come and take me again. I stayed there for four years – longer than I’d stayed anywhere since the village I was raised in. But no, I could not be surprised when I first heard your horns and knew what was coming. 

“You came and you took what you needed, as is your way, and I planned my usual escape. It would be more difficult than usual – your mother is sharper than most. It would be almost impossible to leave without alerting Niall or your guards, and then she would not let me leave for Sevarre with Lily. And I had this strangely persistent shadow – a handsome clansman that watched me often, found time to come and play with Lily, offered me gifts like a courter,” he said, trailing his thumb along Zayn’s. 

Zayn was sure his face was crimson. He tried to pull his hand away, spluttering, but Liam held fast. 

“Stop that. And then he offered to take me into Sevarre, help me craft a life here. And I accepted gracefully,” he said, making Zayn laugh in surprise and stop trying to escape.

“And Lily permitted Niall to touch her, making it clear that she was comfortable here. Loved even. It all made me feel strange enough that even when he offered to let me escape, I wasn’t sure that I wanted to,” he said quietly. 

Zayn felt his heart stop. 

“W-what?” he stuttered. 

“I thought at first that I knew what you wanted. Thought you were like Trodaire’s first master in that you wanted to own my desires and my body. But you acted oddly. It confused me. I didn’t know what to make of you. I still don’t,” he said, shaking his head. 

“But you said, earlier. That I just wanted, uh.” Zayn paused, unwilling to say it again, bring the awful memory to life. Liam winced.

“I was angry. Confused,” he said, looking at Zayn’s downturned face. “I really hurt you, didn’t I?” he said, tone strange. 

“It’s fine. I’ll forget it. Besides, you weren’t entirely wrong. I have been looking. Been thinking about you in that way. Wanting you,” he said with a guilty shrug of his shoulders. His hand felt clammy where it was joined to Liam’s and he tried to tug it away again with as equally fruitless results as the first times. 

“I know,” Liam said, making Zayn’s insides quail about miserably. “But there’s no crime in looking, and it was cruel of me to turn your affection against you that way,” he said. Zayn looked up into his face in surprise, but found he could not look at the apology there.

“I did make you pretty angry. I don’t think you can be responsible for all that you said there,” he said, feeling like his own explanation was probably due. 

“That’s certainly true. You definitely have a talent at making me lose my temper, Zayn,” he said, making Zayn want to sink into the ground. 

“I was jealous,” he mumbled. 

“What was that?” Liam asked.

“I was jealous!” he said loudly, wanting to stand and pace away the nerves that were suddenly attacking his stomach. 

“What? Of Dani?” Liam asked, surprised. Zayn nodded dejectedly.

“I thought for sure that you were in love with her. I couldn’t watch you be around each other looking sappily into each other’s eyes,” he said wretchedly. 

“Is that why you were avoiding me?” Liam asked.

“Yes. Didn’t think you would notice so much since Dani was here,” he said. Liam gave him an annoyed look. 

“How could I not? I’d had your constant company for months, and the past month in particular you were always present. I thought you had decided I wasn’t worth your time. Made me so angry,” Liam said, storm clouds gathering in his brow. 

“Sorry,” Zayn said, unable to stop himself from smiling despite Liam’s rising temper. Being missed was too nice a feeling to keep down. 

“You should be,” Liam grunted. “And then the first thing you said to me when you decided to grace me with your presence was to accuse me of sneaking off in the night.”

“To be fair, you have just admitted to doing just that a handful of times,” Zayn pointed out drily. To his pleasure, Liam’s cheeks began to color fetchingly, noticeable even in the fading light. 

“That’s not the point. I wasn’t planning on leaving this time, and when I told you, you just called me a liar,” Liam said. 

“Harry saw you loading your goods into Dani’s cart and gave me the idea. Your empty shelves just confirmed it. And Dani’s stories of your previous escapes made me certain that you were just covering your tracks,” he said. 

“I can’t wait to cut off all his pretty hair,” Liam said, voice wistful. Zayn laughed, bit his lip. 

“Not really his fault. I was jumping to conclusions too. I was just so certain that you wanted to go – I went straight to you with some poorly conceived plans on how to keep you here. Of your own will,” he added quickly, not willing to forgo another painful misunderstanding. 

“And you thought a terrible kiss was the way to do it?” Liam joked, though his eyes were serious. 

“Not so much, that was kind of an accident,” Zayn said, feeling like he had when he was fifteen and his mother caught him touching himself in the tent.

“An accident? So you accidentally smashed your face into mine and touched our lips together?” Liam asked, teasing but still holding his gaze with those serious eyes. 

“Well, I pretty much always want to kiss you. Sometimes my control on that is pretty bad. Especially if my body feels that my words are not doing their job,” he said with a self-depreciating little smile. Liam’s flush brightened at his pronouncement, making Zayn’s heartbeat quicken.

“Oh,” Liam said. 

“Yeah,” Zayn said, feelings exposed. They breathed together for a moment. 

“So, does that mean that you want to kiss me now?” Liam asked at last. Zayn startled, looked at Liam’s eyes, focused on him and awaiting an answer. He swallowed and looked down at Liam’s mouth, watched Liam lick his lips nervously at the audience. He thought about how he would do it, how he would touch their lips together slowly. How he would lean Liam back onto the sand and take his time exploring his mouth. He pulled his eyes back to Liam’s. 

“Yes,” he said. Liam sucked in a quick breath, and let it go. 

“I was so mad when you stopped visiting, Zayn. At you, and at myself for becoming so attached to someone. I thought that we were building something together, and the idea of that just being in my head made me feel ridiculous. Which I know makes me a hypocrite for all the times I ignored you when you were trying to make your overtures,” he said, scratching his hair to hide his face. 

“When you told me that you loved me,” he said, making Zayn flinch, “I was angry. I thought that you were trying to own me, to hurt me. I wanted to hurt you back, to distance myself from you and free myself from feeling beholden to you. From feeling so tied to you that I missed you after only a few days apart,” he said, looking tense. Zayn barely dared to hope. What did it mean?

“I missed you too,” he said instead. 

“Zayn – why did you make the courtship claim?” Liam asked again. 

“Because I wanted to claim courtship of you, of course,” he said, looking at Liam with a smile. Liam shoved him lightly. 

“Don’t try and charm your way out. Why did you make the claim?” he asked once more. 

“Because I’ve wanted to for months. And while I didn’t think you would say yes, I thought it might make you consider me seriously before you left with Danielle and the dancers as I thought you planned to do,” he said simply. 

“I thought that might be why, but I wasn’t sure. Thank you for telling me,” Liam said. Zayn nodded jerkily. 

“You probably deserve to know,” he said.

“Was a pretty reckless thing to do, but I understand,” Liam said, shaking his head. 

“Like I said, I was desperate,” he said. They sat in silence again, letting their conversation sink in around them. 

“I don’t know if I’m in love with you, or if I’m capable of that. I don’t even know if I’ll stay in camp forever or if I’ll ever want a mate. And whatever I choose, you will have to respect it,” Liam said, each word like a dagger into Zayn’s stomach. His mouth worked, but no words came. 

“And even if I choose old Tom for some quality fucking, then you will have to let it be,” he said, but Zayn barely registered the joke, breath coming hard at the unexpected blow. 

“Easy there. I’m not trying to hurt you or be cruel to you. I just want to be sure that we understand each other,” he said, leaning closer. Zayn tried to control himself, feeling the hot pinprick of tears behind his eyes at having something so close be snatched away again in an instant. 

“I need to-” he said, wanting to leave again and cry in his tent like he hadn’t done since he was a young boy. 

“You need to stay right there. And you need to understand that when I kiss you right now, I’m not sure where it is going and I am definitely not ready for an official claim,” he said, moving to kneel in front of Zayn, hand still holding tight to his. 

“What?” Zayn asked stupidly, tears held at bay by surprise. Liam looked down at his mouth, open unattractively, and up to his eyes again. He leaned closer, until they were sharing a breath and Zayn’s heart felt that it would hammer out of his chest. 

He couldn’t do this. 

Liam’s mouth caught on his cheek when he turned his face away, making him shudder at the sensation. Liam kissed his cheek tenderly, and then the corner of his mouth before Zayn caught him by the shoulders and pushed him back, feeling weak. 

“No, don’t. Don’t do that because you feel sorry for me or because it’s a goodbye or an apology. Just. Just let me go,” he said, moving to stand. 

Contrary as ever, Liam climbed into Zayn’s lap, holding him there. Zayn felt a hand on his chin, turning him back to Liam, but he kept his eyes screwed tightly closed. 

“Look at me, Zayn,” Liam said. Zayn shook his head ‘no’, causing Liam to make an exasperated noise. “Come on now, don’t be a child.” He would not, _could_ not look at Liam right now. Could not see him so close and perfect and refuse him again. 

Liam sighed against him. 

“I don’t know how you’ve kissed me so many times when I did not give you permission. It’s pretty difficult to kiss someone that acts like they don’t want you to,” Liam said conversationally, sitting back enough that Zayn could no longer feel his breath on his face. 

“I’m sorry,” he said, feeling like he had said the word more in the past hour than he had during all the years of his life. 

“I know,” Liam said. After a beat, Zayn opened his eyes to find Liam looking at him curiously. 

“What now? We just sit here together until I change my mind?” Zayn asked. 

“Don’t tempt me. Can’t say the thought did not just cross my mind alluringly,” Liam said, looking far too serious. 

“I just. I’ll let you go, okay? I’ll figure it out with my mother like I should have ages ago, but I was too selfish to. Or I’ll take you to Sevarre and leave you there with Lily,” he said, hating it. 

“And there you go again, selfishly speaking for what I want without asking me. I thought we went over this,” Liam said, looking irritated but also- fond?

“I don’t understand,” he said. 

“I can see that,” Liam said, shifting his hips agonizingly to find a more comfortable seat. 

“What do you want?” Zayn asked, desperate not to embarrass himself further.

“Now, see. That is the right question to ask. If you had asked that before, though, I’ll admit that I might not have told you out of spite. But I’ll tell you now. What I want is to stay in the clan, at least until the next calamity strikes my life or I find more reason to uproot Lily and leave. I’ll never be a raider myself, but I’ll try to accept that it’s what gives your clan life. I want to continue to talk to you and work my horses with you and admire you even when I tell myself not to,” he said, voice even and sure. 

“Really?” Zayn asked, feeling certain it was a dream or a trap. 

“Yes. Now come to bed. I won’t try and kiss you again, so you can stop looking so scared. We’ll go easy on each other for once,” Liam said, rising to his feet and pulling an unresisting Zayn up by his armpits. 

“What?” Zayn asked, still waiting for Danielle to pop out of the darkness, laughing meanly. Liam took him by the hand and led him into the tent and pushed him down onto the pile of furs that served as Liam’s bedding. Liam sank down behind him.

“What about Lily?” he asked, struggling against the furs that Liam began to layer on top of the two of them. 

“Has been sleeping on her own for a week. Said I was too grumpy, for some reason,” Liam said, wrapping an arm around Zayn and pulling him close. Zayn stiffened in response, feeling unsure.

“Go to sleep. Niall will take care of Lily tonight and bring her home. We have both had a long day and I would like to rest now,” he said, hand spread on Zayn’s chest. Zayn tried to relax in increments, but even when his body was lax his mind would not let him sleep. A sudden bite on his neck made him jump.

“What?” he said, slapping a hand over the wound and turning to find Liam looking at him, face sleepy. 

“You’re not sleeping,” Liam said, stating the obvious. 

“I can’t help it. It’s a lot to take in,” he said, annoyed. Liam rubbed his face along the furs, getting comfortable and looking alarmingly pretty while doing so. 

It wasn’t fair, Zayn thought, to find him so attractive. 

“I’m sorry for what I said to you earlier. For hurting you like that,” Liam said, taking the hand from Zayn’s waist and placing it on his cheek instead. He began tracing patterns, following the lines of paint that Doniya had put there earlier that night. 

“I’m sorry for accusing you of things,” he said back, curling his hands between them. 

“We’ll go slow,” Liam said, stroking his thumb beneath Zayn’s eye. 

“Slow?” he asked. 

“Very slow,” Liam answered.

Slow sounded nice, Zayn thought, falling asleep at last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for that tease! I tried to make them actually kiss when I was writing it, but every time I did it felt too fast. Liam's on a different page than Zayn at this point, and he said a lot of soul crushing things last time. I decided that it's Liam's turn to prove himself to Zayn and show him what he wants, or at least not tease him with anything until he's willing to commit. 
> 
> As always, thank you for reading! As usual I failed to count accurately again and it turns out that this is not the penultimate chapter as I thought it was - whoops :/.


	14. Chapter 14

Liam was actually trying to kill him, Zayn thought, feeling the other man reach around him to take Sawda by the reins. There was really no reason that he had to stand so close, enough so that Zayn could feel a line of contact between his back and Liam’s front that ran from his shoulder-blades to his ass. 

“I’ve got her,” he said, face hot. He could _feel_ Liam smiling at him, face by his neck. 

“If you’re sure,” he said, letting go and dropping his hand teasingly down Zayn’s side to squeeze at his hip before stepping back. Zayn held onto the reins for dear life, pressing his forehead into Sawda’s thick neck with a muffled groan. 

After waking up together in Liam’s tent two days ago, things had been strange between them. Liam seemed hell bent on convincing Zayn that it was worth the plunge into something more, while Zayn was equally eager to maintain a hold on his heart. He trusted that Liam intended to stay, but he also did not trust that he would want to be here forever, especially given that Zayn was leaving on a raid today. Sure, finding slavers was the main mission, but Zayn was sure his mother would be on the lookout for other small villages to assimilate into her clan. 

Would Liam look at him the same when he came back? He didn’t know. And if he started something now only to have it collapse in a month, well, Zayn did not want to even think about it.

He found himself wishing for the stoic Liam of months ago, just in order to preserve his sanity. In all his fantasies about Liam accepting his interest, he never thought he would be in the position of having to turn him away. Fate certainly enjoyed toying with him, he thought piteously. 

“What do you want me to do with her while you’re gone?” Liam asked from behind him. Farther behind him than an inch or two, Gods be praised. 

“Keep helping with her temperament, I guess? She’s gotten better at reacting to noises and sudden movements, but she still has a ways to go. Don’t you sweetheart?” He said, stroking Sawda’s neck slowly. 

“I will do my best. But she’ll miss you,” Liam said. Zayn looked at his mare. The sun was making her sleepy and she stood nicely beside him, ears easy and eyes drooping. He had ridden her as often as he could in the past weeks, but he hadn’t had time this morning and now there was just an hour or so before the raiding party was due to depart.

“I’ll miss her too,” he said. He was falling in love with her, the terrible beast. She was the fastest horse he’d ever ridden, and the strangest. 

“Is she the only one you’ll miss?” Liam asked. Zayn turned to find him sitting by the lake, smiling innocently. 

“No. I’ll miss Lily and my sisters. And Niall. And my father. But I guess that’s it,” he said teasingly. Liam laughed. 

“Oh, I see how it is. Well, I shouldn’t tell you this as I was sworn to secrecy, but I do believe that Lily is making you something for your journey. She had to put the finishing touches on it this morning or she would be down here with me, watching you pretend to ignore me,” he said, smiling. Zayn flushed. 

“I’m not-”

“Yes, yes you are. But that’s okay. I don’t mind telling you first that I will miss you. And that I’ll be thinking about you,” he said simply. Zayn turned back to Sawda to hide his hot face and began to pull off her halter and blanket that they had been practicing with. Once that was finished, he gave her a pat and she ambled away towards the other horses to indulge in a nice mutual scratching session with Shara. Feeling more in control, he turned back to Liam. 

He looked at Liam’s smirking smile and the easy way he sprawled by the lake. Under his gaze Liam stretched, showing off his arms and spreading his legs a tad in an innuendo that Zayn doubted was accidental. 

“You’re giving me whiplash here,” Zayn said, leaning against a tree to watch him. “It’s making it hard to believe that you’re serious. I thought you said we would take this slow.” Liam at least had the good grace to look a little guilty, pulling his legs shut again and settling himself into a less provocative pose. 

“I’m sorry? I thought we agreed that we wanted each other,” Liam said, looking far too adorably confused. Zayn was not strong enough for this. 

“That’s not quite true, is it? We want different things. I’m not going to be someone that you mess around with until something better comes along,” Zayn said. 

Liam whistled.

“Ouch. Is that really what you think of me?” Liam asked, awed. Zayn shrugged. 

“It’s what I’ve been led to believe. You’ve been touching me all the time and flirting and making these, um, these ridiculously sexual faces, but just days ago you were breaking my heart. You’re going to have to forgive me if I feel the need to protect myself a little,” Zayn said. Liam looked at him, smile sliding off his face to be replaced by something more serious. He stood, dusting himself off and walking forward to stand in front of Zayn and place a hand at his hip. Zayn felt himself tense unconsciously, waiting. Liam frowned a little at his reaction and gripped him harder. 

“I’m still going to want you when you come back from the raid,” Liam said. Zayn’s eyes widened in surprise.

“What?” he said, voice high.

“That’s what’s got you so jumpy, right? You’re worried that I’ll see you as a raider again and hate you. But I never stopped seeing you as a raider, Zayn,” he said. He shifted his hand, fingers climbing under Zayn’s shirt until his hand rested on hot flesh. Zayn gasped and pushed him away. 

“Would you stop that?” Zayn asked, feeling aroused and irritated at himself. Liam reached for him again and Zayn took a step back, shaking his head. 

“I just. I thought you wanted me?” Liam said, looking a little unsure. Zayn took some vindictive pleasure in the expression given all of the grief he had suffered. 

“Just maybe you should take your advice and ask what I want,” Zayn said piously. Liam rolled his eyes heavenward. 

“Smartass. Fine. I’ll bite. What do you want, Zayn?” he asked. 

“I want you to give me some space. I want to be your friend, but you’ve given me a lot to think about in terms of taking you as a lover. Yes, I’m still in love with you, but I don’t know how willing I am to be with someone who isn’t even sure if they’re capable of returning that love. 

“I know that I deserve better - my mother and father love each other and respect each other and that’s what I want. I want you to think about how you feel while I’m gone and give me an answer when I get back as to whether or not this is something you can pursue,” Zayn said, feeling relieved to have it all in the open, but also instantly nervous. Was he throwing away his only chance to have Liam by waiting for some fabled love story?

Was he going to regret this?

Liam, for his part, looked like he had been slapped. 

“You said we could take this slow, Liam. And with everything that’s happened between us, I think that sounds smart. And slow is not your hand on my ass or your breath on my neck,” he said, smiling a little. Liam looked away, fists clenching. 

“If that’s what you want,” Liam said.

“It’s what I want,” Zayn said. Liam turned to him them, expression unreadable, and opened his mouth, only to be interrupted by the sound of horns. 

It was time.

“That’s me,” Zayn said. “Wish me goodbye at the gate?”

“Sure. I’ll walk you up,” Liam said, shaking himself of the tension that had curled itself into his form. 

They walked together quietly. Unwilling to leave Liam on such a somber note, Zayn stuck his foot out to trip him playfully. Liam stumbled and turned on Zayn with a happy little grin and a none too gentle punch in the arm. They fought with each other good-humoredly for the rest of the journey to the front gate, barely noticing anyone else that they passed until a small figure darted out to stop them. 

“Zayn!” Lily called his name as she ran to greet them, making him lurch to a stop and look at her. 

“Hello, love. Come to see me off?” he asked. She nodded.

“Yes. Liam told me it’s important to wish people a safe travel when they leave, especially people who do dangerous things like you,” she said. Zayn looked to Liam who was conveniently looking away at the horses being gathered by the gate. 

“Did he? I like that,” he said with a grin that made her smile in return. Liam looked down at her then and placed her on his shoulders, hands gentle on her feet. 

“Will you miss me while I’m gone, Lily?” Zayn asked. She frowned thinking about it and Zayn had a momentary panic that she would say ‘no’ and Liam would die from laughing and Zayn would need to go cry over his embarrassment. He felt the urgent need to prevent that outcome. “Just kidding, don’t-”

“I think I will miss you, Zayn. But I think Liam will miss you more,” Lily interrupted his panic calmly. Liam choked on air and Zayn stared at her for a beat or two, before a smile began to twitch at his mouth. 

“You think so, eh? Why’s that?” Zayn asked, tone going for innocent.

“Lily, I don’t-” Liam started, his hands reaching up for hers in supplication.

“Hmm? Oh. Well he talks about you all the time, like how I talk about Safaa. And he was really sad when you didn’t come around for a few days because you were busy,” she said, a detective laying her evidence bare. Liam put one hand back on her ankle and the other over his face. 

“Ah. Any other reason?” Zayn asked. 

“Vulture,” Liam mumbled, making his grin widen. Lily twisted her mouth, thinking.

“Well,” she said, face scrunched in confusion, “Niall said something about being surprised that your pants don’t catch fire with the way that Liam looks at them, but I don’t know what-”

“That’s enough, Lily, thank you,” Liam said tightly, face a nice red. Zayn looked away and bit his lip on the laugh that wanted to bubble free. 

“I’m sure I could find you a pair if you like them so much,” Zayn teased, looking back to Liam.

“Don’t be a tit,” Liam said, making Lily hit him on the forehead to admonish him. 

“That’s not a nice thing to say to your friend, Liam,” she scolded him. He muttered an apology, cheeks still pink. 

“Well Lily, I’ll certainly miss you. Will you help Liam look after Sawda while I’m gone? Make sure he does a good job?” he asked, making her smile. 

“I will. I like her. When I’m big enough to have my own horse I want a black horse just like her,” she said, eyes dreamy as she imagined her future horse. 

“If she throws me into the lake again, I might just give her to you for free,” he joked. She laughed. 

“But then she would just throw me in the lake instead, Zayn!” she said.

“Right, right. How silly of me. Best keep her to myself then. But if she delivers a foal next year, maybe you can have that one instead,” he said.

“Really? Liam, do you think I could?” she said, looking down at Liam and drumming her hands on his head. 

“I don’t know, love. It depends. Maybe,” he said, shooting Zayn a look for getting him into the position of having to deny her request. Zayn just smiled back at him. 

The path was becoming more crowded with well-wishers and bystanders, and Zayn placed his hand on the small of Liam’s back to help them stay together while weaving through the crowd. After a couple minutes, they reached the front of the herd and he was able to see his mother talking to his father and his sisters by her horse, Doniya holding the reins of her mare. Niall stood further down the line, chatting with their other friends, but he gave Zayn a nod when he caught sight of him. Zayn steered Liam in that direction until he was close enough that his mother spotted him with a smile. 

“Is this your farewell party, Zayn?” she asked. He had no doubt that she and the rest of the clan were very curious about his relationship with Liam. Even his close friends hadn’t heard the whole story, though he did not know what Liam might have said to Niall. 

Waking up that morning in Liam’s bedding with Liam pressed all along his back, he had found Niall and Lily looking at the pair of them curiously. And Liam, as he snuffled into wakefulness, had just risen and invited them to the lake to rinse off the feast paint and offered no explanation. Watching Niall on the way to the lake, it was clear that the other lad was dying to take the piss, but did not dare do so in front of Lily. Being the brave and talented warrior that Zayn was, he made sure to stick by Lily and prevent inappropriate conversation with his old friend, even after Liam left to say his goodbyes to Danielle. But who knows what Niall had asked Liam when they were alone. 

“Yes. I heard all warriors need farewell parties so I volunteered Lily and myself for Zayn,” Liam said evenly. Trisha looked as if she wanted to ask what he was to her son. Zayn pleaded with her with his eyes that she not ask that question, however, and she sighed in response. 

“Don’t give me that look, Zayn. I won’t torture your conquest,” she said. Zayn measured the odds of running away and decided it was not worth it. He was still on foot and someone would surely catch him. 

“I appreciate that,” Liam said, eyes dancing as he looked from her to Zayn. 

“We’re just about ready to head out, so say your goodbyes,” she said, turning from him to embrace Yaser and then her daughters before mounting her horse, while Zayn copied her goodbyes, with an added hug for Niall. But before climbing astride his horse, he turned to Liam and Lily. 

“Okay. Time to go, I’m afraid,” he said.

“Lily, I think you should give Zayn your gift now. Is it finished?” Liam asked, lifting his chin to catch a glimpse of her on his shoulders. 

“Yes!” she said. Liam lifted her from his shoulders and placed her on the ground where she immediately began rooting around in her pockets. Zayn crouched to as to be at her height.

“What is it?” he asked. 

“Here!” she said, pulling something brown and black and turquoise from her pocket. A necklace, he realized on closer inspection. He took it into his hands, marveled at the way the leather had been braided together with bits of turquoise rock and black horsehair. She had clearly spent much time on it, and it was just as clear that it was something she had made by herself. He stroked his fingers over the small imperfections, loving them.

“Lily, it’s lovely. Thank you,” he said, tying it together around his neck in a tight knot. She looked up at him through her lashes, suddenly shy. 

“You like it?” she asked. 

“I love it,” he said honestly. 

“I made it to keep you safe. Liam and I prayed to the Mother so she would bless each piece and protect you,” she explained. His throat felt tight and he coughed to clear it. It was always difficult to tell where he stood with Lily. He could only imagine that she did not permit him to touch her because she remembered him as a raider. And if she remembered that, what must she think of him? Tangible proof that she cared for him, that she was willing to accept him and pray for him – well. It was making him feel as weak as a newborn foal.

“I’ll treasure it, love. I won’t take it off ever so that I’ll come home safely to you,” he said. She smiled and then stepped back, turning her face into Liam’s leg. He stood to face Liam, trying to pretend that he was not emotionally compromised by a small gift from a little girl. 

Liam was looking at him softly. 

“She worked on that for weeks for you. Lots of prayers were involved,” he said.

“I appreciate it – thank you,” he said, eyes feeling suspiciously misty.

“Zayn. You are holding up the departure,” he heard his mother say behind him. He turned to look at her and found her looking frustrated. Right. They had both been planning furiously for days – he could only assume that she did not want to be stopped any longer. 

“Zayn,” Liam said, making him turn back to his – courtee? Almost-lover? Friend? Liam was biting his lip, looking exactly like the kind of trouble that had gotten Zayn into this mess. 

“What?” he asked, feeling nervous. 

“I know you’ve made it pretty clear what you want, or what you don’t want. But I also know that I owe you a goodbye gift and I can only think of one thing. Frankly, you gave it to me the last time we said goodbye, so really I’m just giving it back. I think you’ll know what it means,” he said, taking a step into Zayn’s personal space. 

“What?” Zayn asked again, feeling slow, like he was just on the edge of remembering something important. 

“I’m sorry,” Liam said, and leaned in to kiss him. Zayn made a noise of surprise, and Liam took the opportunity to slide his tongue into his mouth. A move that made Zayn surrender his willpower completely and melt into the other man while making an embarrassing whimpering noise. 

Liam’s strong hands clutched his neck and his back gently, and Zayn brought his own hands to hold Liam’s face, feeling the stubble on his jaw, the sweat by his hairline. He stroked his tongue against Liam’s, feeling him, tasting him, enjoying the way that his saliva was allowing his lips to move without friction against Liam’s. He thought that there might be whistles and catcalls around him, but he couldn’t be sure. All he was sure of was that kissing Liam was all he wanted to do for the rest of his life. 

Liam pulled away slowly, sucking on his lips as he did so and making them tingle pleasantly, and then he was gone. Lips inches away as he looked at Zayn, but away nonetheless. Zayn felt his brain start to come back to him, let him hear that yes, those were definitely catcalls, and that somehow one of his hands had migrated to rest on Liam’s ass. He met Liam’s eyes with his own, pulling them away from his pink mouth.

“Are you going to be here when I get back?” he asked. Liam did not flinch. 

“I think that you know the answer to that,” Liam said, releasing Zayn at last and taking a step back, taking Lily by the hand.

“Oh?” he asked, taking a step of his own towards where a staring Doniya still held her horse ready for him. 

“Yes,” Liam said, taking another step back until he was within the crowd. 

“Is that yes as in you’re staying? Or yes as in I know _if_ you’re staying?” he asked, grabbing his borrowed horse by the reins and climbing into the saddle, well aware that his mother and a hundred warriors were looking at him appraisingly. In the crowd, Liam just laughed. 

“It’s a yes! I guess you’ll just have to hurry home to be sure of which yes it is,” he said, smiling. He turned with Lily then, pulling them through the crowd. Zayn watched them go – on top of the horse he could see them easily, Liam’s broad shoulders parting the tide of people until he met the main path again and looked back to find Zayn still watching. He pulled Lily to his shoulders and she found his eyes too. They both waved and he waved back, no control over himself.

“Oh son of mine, do you think we can leave now? Or would you like to stare longingly at that boy of yours for longer?” his mother asked from next to him. He turned and met the stares of his clan and immediately decided it was best to put as much distance between himself and those probing eyes as possible. Gods. Niall was flat out staring at him with his mouth open. Expediency seemed wise. 

“We can go now,” he said quickly, turning his face back to the crowd, seeking out one more view of Liam and Lily before he turned his horse away and beginning the march out. He licked his lips, the taste of Liam – spearmint, sweat, and something else human and fantastic – still lingering there and on his tongue. His lips still tingled, and he had a thought that he wished the sensation would last the raid, so he would not forget that it had happened. That _Liam_ had kissed _him_.

And he, however ill advised, had kissed him back. 

Fuck. 

He pulled a hand from his reins to run it down his face with a groan. Unbidden, the hand stopped at his mouth, touching his lips as if he could still feel the imprint of Liam’s lips there. Realizing what he was doing, he pulled the hand away sharply and berated himself for such weakness. 

Why had he kissed back? Would he not be better without the knowledge of what Liam felt like against him?

No. Even his most convincing delusions could not persuade his bruised lips and elevated heart rate that he regretted knowing that.

“Whoa ho ho! Has someone ever been keeping secrets from their dear friends Louis and Harry. Wouldn’t you say so, Harry?” Louis asked, riding up on his left. 

“I would indeed, Louis!” Harry exclaimed, appearing by his right and trapping him effectively between them. He would not be surprised if Eleanor would appear by his rear and prevent him from taking off that way. Feeling his neck prickle at the idea, he looked behind him to check for her and felt an embarrassing wave of relief that she wasn’t there.

At least not yet. 

“And here we thought that you were licking your wounds in private, far away from our reaches. In reality you were probably canoodling with that buxom vision of manliness every day. Tell me I’m wrong!” Louis said, sounding scandalized. 

On second thought, maybe it would be better if Eleanor were here. She at least seemed to have the ability to temper Louis as needed. A look around found her chatting with some other young women in the tribe, deep in conversation. No help there. 

“He can’t Louis! Look at him, he’s blushing. Blushing like the guilty clansman he is because he has been caught!” Harry said gleefully. 

“I bet it was all long walks along the lake at night and tender touches beneath the moonlight. All ‘oh yeah, right there Liam,’ and ‘uh, uh, uh, baby you feel amazing,’ and-” Louis said, making suggestive gestures that made his horse, a being of obscene patience, pin his ears back in distaste. 

“Would you stop that?” Zayn hissed over Louis’ acted grunts and moans. 

“He speaks!” Harry said with a gasp.

“Do you want to hear what happened, or do you want to keep being awful friends?” Zayn asked. Harry and Louis looked at each other across Zayn’s horse and shrugged as one. 

“I don’t know. That’s kind of a tough call,” Harry said, looking thoughtful. Louis nodded, stroking his chin as if in deep thought. Zayn really was going to kill them in their sleep. Or at least find several crawling droki at the campsite tonight to place in their beddings. 

“I agree. I mean, I want to know what happened, if he moaned as sweetly as I think he did when you took him, but I also like watching your will to live flicker in your eyes,” Louis said. 

“You are both terrible. I don’t know why we’re friends,” Zayn said, beyond grateful that at least Liam wasn’t here to hear this conversation. 

“Oh hush. We’re fantastic and caring friends. And you deserve to take a little abuse after hiding that news from us,” Harry said sagely, Louis nodding along expressively. 

“So, what happened? Because if you don’t tell us, I’m just going to imagine what I’d like to think happened and I guarantee that will be worse,” Louis said with a charming grin that did not match his words. 

“Fine. Just stop,” he said. 

“Stop what? Imagining that you resolved your issues by stuffing your cock into his ass until he cried for mercy?” Louis asked. How he said the most amazing things with a straight face, Zayn would never know. Zayn, for his part, blushed hotly. 

“Whoa there, Louis. We don’t want to scare him off before we get to the good stuff,” Harry said, telltale pink hue on his cheeks as well. It was a small - _small_ \- comfort that he was not the only one not impervious to Louis’ comments.

And Gods curse it. He knew the image that Louis had painted was going to play repeatedly in his brain once he was alone in his tent. He was half-hard already from the kiss and from Louis’ implications, no matter how wrong they were. Louis smirked when Zayn shifted in his saddle as if he knew exactly what he had done. Asshole. 

“We just talked, is all. He told me about some of his problems in the past, and told me that he. Um. Was attracted to me and was interested in exploring that with me,” he said in a rush, not caring to look over and see the reactions of his friends. 

“Somehow I don’t think this ends with you fucking him on all fours while he gasps your name around the fingers you’ve stuck into his mouth for him to suck on, his hard cock bouncing against that fine stomach with the force of your thrusts,” Louis said thoughtfully. Harry choked beside him and Zayn was sure he was scarlet _everywhere_. 

“Gods above!” Harry howled admiringly. Louis grinned cheekily. 

“Just enacting some revenge. I don’t like secrets, you know. Zayn, how’s your ride feeling?” he asked. Zayn glared at him as he shifted his hardening cock into a more comfortable position. 

“Just fine,” he said through gritted teeth. 

“So what really happened if not the fucking on all fours with-” Harry started.

“Enough! Enough. I’d tell you if you would just shut up for a minute,” he said, glaring at his friends. Neither looked particularly abashed, though they were clearly curious. 

“Go on,” Louis said, making a gesture.

“He said that he wasn’t sure if he was going to stay in the clan forever, and that he wasn’t sure if he could love me,” he said. Next to him, his friends grew quiet.

“Okay, that’s definitely not what I was expecting,” Harry said, after a pause. 

“He’s so confusing. One minute he’s acting like we’re friends, and then the next he is hating my guts over things I have no control over. And now he wants me just to be able to flirt and open my heart like it’s nothing,” Zayn said with a huff. 

“Is there a problem with that? Why are you holding back? Seems like everything you’d want to me,” Louis said, shrugging. 

“I’m in love with him,” Zayn said, looking down at his horse’s white mane. Beside him, Harry and Louis both made noises of understanding. 

“You’re worried about getting hurt then?” Louis asked. 

“I just don’t want to put myself in that position. Not until I know he’s serious. He can’t just expect me to keep up with all of his decisions. He needs to show me that he wants what I want, or I need to let go,” Zayn said. 

“Wow. That’s quite the ultimatum. Aren't you acting a little too frightful? What love doesn't have a little heartbreak?” Harry said, catching his eyes. Louis laughed. 

"You said it. And Harry'd be the one to know. I'm pretty sure he's had more lovers than he has hairs on his head," he said. Harry looked at him grumpily.

"We're not talking about me, Louis. We're talking about Zayn. And why our friend, the hardened warrior, felt the need to protect his honor like some virgin with a chastity belt," he said, effectively distracting Louis from his tumultuous history of love affairs. 

"So? Does our Liam not hold the key to your private bits? Why did you enforce such a sanction?" Louis asked him.

“I don’t know what else to do. He’s been making me crazy,” Zayn said.

“So that kiss then?” Harry asked. 

“I don’t know what it meant. He could just be teasing – I um, sort of kissed him when he met the slavers and he could have just been returning the favor,” he said, mumbling. 

“Well done!” Louis hooted. 

“It was just a stupid thing. I thought we might be separated in the attack and I wanted to in case I didn’t get the chance again,” he said quickly, praying for no questions about the holes in that tale. “But, it could also be him just pushing for what he wants? Or saying goodbye because he plans to leave in my absence? Or,” he paused. The last possibility was something he was almost unwilling to voice out loud, in case it unraveled in the open air. 

“Or?” Louis asked, drawing out the word.

“Or he kissed me as a sign that he accepted my wishes and wanted to start something serious with me,” Zayn said, feeling foolish. “But that’s probably wrong. I’m sure he was just teasing.”

“If he teases all his friends that way, be sure to put in a good word for me, eh?” Harry asked, making Louis laugh. 

“I told him to give me an answer when I get back,” Zayn said. 

“Well, there you have it then! No use moping about it. Just enjoy the travel and the raid the way you usually do. We’ll be gone a month, at least. Don’t stay up at night because of that,” Harry said reasonably. 

“Right. If anything, you should stay up at night imagining what he’d look like with his pink lips around your cock,” Louis said with a grin that showed all of his teeth. Immediately, an image popped into his mind of Liam on his knees, lips spread sweetly to take in his cock as he sucked it eagerly, eyes looking up at him through long eyelashes as he swallowed Zayn to the root. With all the flirting and touching recently, it was all too easy to see. He felt his cock twitch.

“Louis!” he shouted, making his friend cackle and dance away on his horse, trotting over to interrupt Eleanor’s conversation. Monster.

“He’s right, you know. That’s definitely a more productive use of your time,” Harry said, interrupting Zayn’s thoughts of dead baby animals and maggots and other things to will his erection away. 

“Not you too,” he said reproachfully. 

“No, no. I don’t have the talent for it that Louis does. I just meant that you shouldn’t think about it if there’s nothing you can do about it,” he said. Zayn knew he was right. 

But he also knew he wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about it. Wondering. 

Harry gave up on his company eventually, declaring him to be too mopey and riding over to where Louis was making Eleanor and her friends laugh. Zayn rode as if in a daze, trying to think of nothing at all with limited success. 

When they bunked down for the night, Zayn was exhausted with not thinking of anything and slept easily until morning. The next day out it seemed somewhat easier not to think of Liam, though he still crossed his thoughts with annoying regularity. He passed the time talking to his mother or his friends, making up for time lost while he was spending all of his time with Liam. He was determined to let himself be distracted, though Liam’s face was still the last thing he saw every night before he shut his eyes.

The travel itself was smooth, as it usually was when traveling in such a large group. No thieves were stupid enough to attack them outright, though a few were ousted trying to steal from them in the night while they slept. His mother kept a firm cycle of watchmen throughout the night, to the misfortune of would-be thieves in the area. 

They were on the road for over a week before anything more interesting happened. 

Their journey had brought them directly South and a little West when they saw the village. It was ordinary, as villages went – typical guard posts and low stretches of wall. They had seen several on their way down that they had passed without stopping. But as they neared this village, Zayn noticed that the guard posts were different than the others they had seen. The posts of this village were empty. 

There was no movement behind the gates or within the fencing, no screaming villagers readying themselves for what they should assume was an attack by Trisha’s warriors. There was no movement at all. 

Zayn felt his skin prickle in warning. 

He nudged his horse between his fellows until he was at his mother’s side. He could tell by the look on her face that she was troubled as well. 

“What do you think?” he asked. 

“I think that villages are rarely just abandoned. But I don’t see smoke, or any of the typical signs of a raid,” she said, sounding puzzled. 

“Do you want to take a look?” he asked. She nodded. 

“We could always use more food and water. It would probably be wise to look and see if there is anything to be taken there,” she said. Zayn nodded and she gave the command, steering the lead horses in that direction. 

Zayn felt decidedly peculiar. As if he was being watched. He did not want to go into the village, he realized suddenly, though he did not know why. He only had the ugly sense of dread lurking in his stomach as the strange little village grew closer and closer. 

They dismounted and crossed the city gates to find silence on the other side. 

Silence, and the dead. 

Bodies were laid out in the street in ungainly piles of limbs. Men and women both, but no children. 

Dead bodies were not something new to Zayn. He had killed his first man when he was fifteen, and he had seen other dead far earlier. 

But there was something strange about the scene in front of them. Something wrong. 

It was Harry that put voice to it, sounding confused. 

“Nothing was taken,” he said. 

And nothing was. All of the grain was still in its place. The water jugs were untouched, as were the stocks of cured meat and dried fruit. Horses were grazing in their paddocks along with other farming beasts. Even the larders of butter and milk were left, and a few pieces of golden jewelry lay around the necks of some villagers, undisturbed. 

It was wrong. Even if their aim had been to take only people, no raiders would leave behind such prizes. 

And it was not raiders. 

It was slavers. 

Zayn stared down at the bodies on the third street, feeling his heart climb into his throat. The people had been farmers, but it looked as though they were able to kill some of their attackers, though the act of leaving such evidence had cost them their lives. Between the mix of bloody men and women, there were black cloaks. Black cloaks and yellow tags. Some had clearly been dragged there from the main road, perhaps to ease the minds of casual tribesmen or villagers passing by. Their vivid yellow tags shifted against their hosts when struck by a passing breeze, making them seem alive. 

His mother’s fear had come to pass. Slavers had taken a village. 

They must have left the goods behind so as not to be slowed down. They probably stuffed the people, the remaining men and woman and all of the children, into wagons for transport. Probably had so many bodies they could not fit any goods. They would look just like the rest of the many wagons on the road. He wanted to be ill. 

Harry was looking shockingly white to his left. Even Louis looked troubled, hand clutching Eleanor’s in a tight grip while she held back just as hard. 

“See if you can find any survivors. Give us a better idea of what happened here,” he told them. They turned woodenly to pass on his message and search the village, and Zayn turned back to the dead slavers, trying to push aside his feelings of disgust. 

“Do you think we’d find more villages like this one if we traveled further West?” his mother asked, crouching down beside him to look at the slaver in distaste. Zayn shook his head – he hadn’t even thought that far. 

“I don’t know. I don’t think I want to,” he told her, not able to look away from the swelling corpse of the slaver most directly in front of him. A dog or some other beast had been feeding on the body, but the yellow tag was still visible amongst the gore.

When a man or woman decided to become a slaver and checked in with a guardsman in Sevarre or Lio or wherever else to trade people for the first time, the guard would put a chain on their necks and use a branding iron to seal it closed after slipping on the small yellow tag that defined their lives. It was law that slavers be unable to conceal what they were, and Zayn had always liked that they were as shackled to their craft as their products were to their lives. 

But now he would give anything to rip those tags away, those symbols that so many wore with pride. That gave them the right to design something so awful as the enslavement of an entire village. 

“I am going to send a small party to Sevarre to tell the guardsmen what has happened. I’m sure they will want to convene with the high priestess, and send word to Lio and Rochan and Golai to tell them what has happened. They will be none too pleased that the West is poaching the other areas in such numbers,” she said. 

“Are you going to call a council of the tribes as well?” he asked. 

“Yes. They deserve to be warned. I do not think that our slavers here will stop at villages when they can have tribesmen as well,” she said, words sinking uncomfortably in Zayn’s stomach, tugging at his mind. He felt the nagging sensation that he was not seeing the whole picture. 

“Do you think they would work with you and the four cities to control the West?” he asked, trying to illuminate his thoughts. 

“I think I can convince them. Especially if I can bring them to see this. I’ll send out messengers to our allies today,” she said. 

“And what of-” he stopped, mid-thought, his mother’s words coming back to him.

They would not stop at villages. They would attack tribes. 

Especially tribes whose defenses were low while most of their warriors were away on a raid. 

“Liam,” he breathed out loud. 

Liam and his terrible fortune. Liam who had been taken so many times already that he was always prepared for the next strike. Liam who now had Lily who he would gladly die defending. 

Liam who still needed to answer him. 

“We need to go back. Now,” he said, standing and beginning to look for his horse manically. A cool hand grasped his forearm, his mother’s solid form giving him pause, making him breathe. 

“What are you talking about? We need to investigate this further,” she said, shaking him a little. She probably thought he was battle addled by the sights around them. He did not have time to convince her. They needed to leave. Immediately. 

“You don’t understand but you must trust me. The tribe is in danger,” he said urgently. Gods above – his sisters, his father. Lily. Niall. 

“You’re not making any sense. Why would you think that?” she asked, looking perturbed by his conviction. 

“They’re coming for him. For all of them. Fuck. He knew this would happen. He must have been waiting for it since Danielle told him that the slavers were getting smarter and stronger, perhaps since Orin told us that they had use of a bird that could relate what it saw. He was kissing me goodbye, but not in the way I thought. Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he said, aware that he was babbling. 

“Make sense, Zayn!” Trisha snapped, giving his arm another shake. He was scaring her. Good.

“Liam pulls bad luck to him like flies to honey. I know it sounds crazy, but if there is a movement of slavers in the area, it will find him. And everyone else,” he said looking at her seriously, trying to stem the panic that was making him want to run until his legs gave out. 

“Don’t be foolish. Our tribe is tucked away and our back is to the mountains. We have guards on our main gate and patrols moving at all times. Why would they attack us?” she asked. 

“Because he is there,” Zayn said. 

“Let’s pretend I believe this tale you’re spinning for me. How would they be able to attack without passing our party?” she asked, flinging out an arm to gesture to the flat landscape that surrounded them. 

“They may have travelled through the North, looking for easy pickings the way they did here. If others in their numbers can use birds, they would surely be able to know that the clan was there and that a large party of us left,” he said, knowing as he said it that it was true. They must have been planning this for ages, quietly amassing their numbers until they could do it. They must have known that even if they were discovered, that it would take time for a council to gather and for the cities to be alerted, and more time for a decision to be made. Time that they could use to plunder until they were chastised and sent home, mockingly apologetic even as they sold the fruits of their labors.

All this time, he thought he had been working with the latest information, but Orin had been hiding something after all. He must have died knowing that Zayn's people would face shackles. Catching the three of them had been a lucky opportunity, a greedy little compulsion. But what had they really been doing in the North? Scouting territories to take later? Mapping which villages would be the easiest to pluck from? He must have laughed inside to know he was carrying such a secret to his grave.

“I hope you realize how strange this sounds. If we arrive back home and there is nothing there, then I will have your hide for scaring me with this nonsense,” she said. His heart soared in relief before beating madly. 

“You’ll take us back?” he asked, disbelieving.

“I may live to regret it, but yes. I’ll sort the messengers and then prepare the warriors to move,” she said. He bowed to her deeply in thanks and then walked quickly away to spread the news. 

He felt like he was moving through water or something viscous. Everything was happening so slowly. No one seemed to understand the need for urgency, looking around at the dead and the strange place as if they had no need to hurry. Eleanor was by the paddocks, releasing the beasts. Harry was looking at a young mother, her blue eyes unseeing as she gripped what looked to be a child’s toy. There were no survivors to tend to, but no one seemed willing to stop looking.

There would be time to go back later. Time to bury the dead and burn the village in respect. Time to take the beasts if they had not already wandered to the next oasis. 

Zayn rushed from person to person, urging them onto their horses and out of the village until at last they were all moving away, messengers speeding off to the tribes and cities, and he and the rest marching homewards. 

He tried to convince himself of the unlikelihood of their camp being targeted. Told himself that no slaving party would be stupid enough to attack such an established tribe. 

But he felt in his wildly beating heart that he was right. He _knew_ that Liam’s latest disaster was riding up on their clan as he sat on his horse miles and miles away. If they weren’t there already. 

He sent a prayer to the Mother for safety and speed, one hand gripping the necklace that Lily had made him. He would get his answer from Liam. He would get back home, covering the distance as fast as possible to get there. 

He just hoped that they would be fast enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've finished the next chapter but for some serious editing that needs to happen, so hopefully that will be out to you soon. And then I think there will be one last chapter and an epilogue.
> 
> Thank you for reading! xoxoxo


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Looks like I made the internet gods angry last time and they posted my latest chapter back in time on August 5th even though I posted it this morning. Huh. So as you read this new update, keep in mind that there are probably two chapters that you need to check in on, instead of just one!

There was smoke in the distance, rising out of the East like some terrible beacon.

Their camp was burning. They were late. 

Zayn urged his horse to move faster, listened as those around him did the same once they realized what their eyes were telling them. That their home was under attack.

“I don’t believe it,” Trisha shouted, amazed, from where she rode next to him. “How could you know?” 

“Later, you and Liam and I will have a nice chat about it. But right now we need to go,” he said testily. 

At once, she gave the call for wagons to be unhitched and abandoned for the moment and for her warriors to ready themselves for battle. The race began, the past week of marching forgotten as the sand passed beneath their horses’ hooves in long strides that still did not seem to carry them quickly enough to their destination. Closer and closer they came until he could hear screaming, could see the movement of bodies – tribesmen and figures in long black cloaks – confirming what he had suspected as he had ridden tense in his saddle for the whole way home. The sight of tribesmen gave him hope, however. 

They had not fallen yet. 

They passed the bodies of slavers and their horses outside the gates, arrows sticking from their bodies as though they had died during a first rush of the camp. His horse stumbled over one such broken body, but caught herself. From the corner of his eye, he could see the others facing similar problems as their steeds jumped and picked their way through the mess. A brown horse with white streaks fell forward suddenly, pitching her rider to the ground with a curse and a snap that made Zayn’s teeth ache. 

But there was little time to worry about it - at last they were through the gates, in the thick of it as the noises of battle surrounded them. Slavers and tribesmen both littered the street, dead or wounded or nearly dead, while their living counterparts grappled with each other everywhere he looked. He caught a glimpse of one of Jana’s apprentices as he tied a tourniquet around a young warrior’s bloody leg as another two protected him and others helped drag bodies away to the relative safety of the tents not been burned to ash by their attackers. He threw himself into the fight, hearing the cries behind him as his fellow warriors did the same. He heard his mother call for them to spread into the village and he moved right, seeking the path to Niall’s home and cutting down slavers on his way. 

Hearing a curse, he saw Luke cornered into the side of a tent, arm bloody as he held his sword up to defend himself from the two slavers that advanced on him. He wheeled his horse and struck the first across the back of his neck, making him fall with a grunt. Luke used the distraction to stab the second man through the gut, making him stumble back, holding his wound as he sunk to his knees and then fell forward onto his face. 

“What happened here?” he shouted above the noise of fighting around him, trying to make Luke’s frightened eyes focus on his face. This was Luke’s first real battle and he looked it, eyes wide and face white. 

“They came while you were gone. We saw them ride in and shot the warning arrows but they just kept coming and _coming_ until they were upon us. They didn’t even pause. I’ve never seen anything like it. Zayn, we’ve been holding them off for almost two days and they won’t stop,” he said. At last, Zayn looked at him fully and took in the fine trembling in the other man’s hands and the beginnings of dark circles under his eyes. He looked exhausted. 

A yell interrupted them as another slaver charged them. Zayn stood in front of Luke, taking the blow on his blade and shoving him off. The man came at him again and again while he blocked him until at last there was an opening and Zayn was able to sink his blade into the man’s neck, killing him. 

Luke, behind him, made a low moan. Zayn made a decision. 

“Right. Get on my horse. You’re injured and tired, you need her more than I do,” he said, all but shoving Luke into the saddle as he weakly protested. 

“But what about you?” he was saying, even as Zayn fit his feet into the stirrups and pushed him over the mare’s back. 

“Do not argue with me. You need to go. Tell the others to fall back – we that returned are fresher and will end this. You did well, now fall back!” he said, shouting the last. Luke stiffened in his saddle and nodded smartly, leaving Zayn in the street as he cantered away. 

Blade up, Zayn listened for the sounds of struggle, stopping here and again to stop a slaver or direct an exhausted tribesman away. He found Calum along the fourth bend, the young man’s blade slicing across the face of a hulking blonde woman before finding it’s home in her side. 

“Calum!" He shouted as the woman dropped to the ground. Calum looked up at him with unfocused eyes that sharpened on Zayn’s face. 

“Zayn?” he asked. Zayn rushed to him.

“We’re here now, you can fall back,” he said. The other boy looked at him, visibly trying to think past the noise and the blood around them. They could both hear the cheers in the distance. His mother’s warriors were making headway. They were winning. 

“Have you seen Liam yet?” Calum asked. 

“No. I’ve been looking but I haven’t found him. Do you know where he is?” he asked. A pair of his mother’s raiders rode down the path behind them, sparing Zayn a glance before continuing their perusal. 

“He’s by the lake. We sent the children there to keep them safe and out of sight. He and Niall and some of the others stayed there to keep them safe. We covered the paths as best as we could before we arrived, but I don’t know if they’ve been discovered,” Calum explained. Zayn felt concern rise in him like a tide. 

“I’ve got to go. Tell my mother to send reinforcements to the lake,” he said, turning to leave but stopping when Calum grabbed him

“When we saw the way they rode, the way they did even seem to fear the arrows we sent at them. The war they just kept coming, even when our arrows found their marks-” he said, pausing in memory with the look of someone about to be ill.

“Focus, Calum! What is it?” Zayn said, the need to run tensing the muscles in his legs. 

“Liam took one look at them and told us that they might be using flix to stay strong. He said that he’d seen them use it on slaves to keep them strong and moving without sleep to get the most work out of them,” he said, still looking ill. Zayn felt a chill. Flix was illegal in the cities and in most of the tribes as it had the potential to make people exhibit signs of a rabid nature if a dosage was too large or used too frequently. It also had the potential to stop the heart if used incorrectly. The idea of it being used experimentally on slaves – on Liam – made his chest feel tight.

“And from what you’ve seen? Do you agree?” Zayn asked urgently, willing it not to be true. Calum nodded tightly.

“They aren’t growing tired like they should be. And yesterday I saw one drop suddenly, as if his heart had failed. I’d bet my life that Liam was right. So be careful while you fight – remember that they will seem stronger and faster than they should be,” he said. Zayn nodded his thanks and backed away, turning and leaving Calum behind. 

Soon he was running to the closest path to the lake and following it down until his lungs were burning and he was bursting through the trees. Liam's horses were far on the other side of the lake, looking tense against some predator they did not understand. The children were in the lake, sitting still on the floating fishing dock and looking frightened. He gestured at them to stay silent as he counted them, feeling relief at seeing Waliyha and Safaa and Lily together. He watched their expressions of joy at seeing him change to fear and Lily screamed a warning. 

He ducked, feeling the movement of a blade over his head. He stepped back into the tree line, and looked around while dropping to a crouch. He pulled his small dagger out of his boot and slipped it into his jerkin. There were six of them. They stood on the shore, knives out. And he had finally found Liam. 

Liam stood knee deep in the water, staff out and face grim. Niall stood next to him, looking sickly but determined, a wound at his temple bleeding sluggishly. Milo and Jonah were with them, and Zayn could see a dozen prone bodies on the shore. Who knows how long they had been holding their position. Zayn felt cold.

The slaver that had thrown her knife at him was still looking in his direction, searching the trees for him. She advanced on him, long blade drawn, still unsure of his position. She seemed unafraid and the whites of her eyes showed too plainly around her irises, making her look crazed – or drugged. 

“Come out, clansman. It’s not nice to hide when you have company- ah. See there you are,” she said, grinning as he lunged at her and she caught his blade with her own. He bared his teeth at her. 

He slipped his blade against hers and darted to the side, making her stumble, and giving him time to free his small blade from his jerkin. She was still fast enough to catch his next stroke, and his next, but at last he was able to lock their blades together and plunge his dagger into one of her terrible eyes, making her scream. She fell silent as he shoved her off of it, breathing her last. 

Ahead, the other slavers had decided again to try and overwhelm their exhausted prey, only to find more of a battle than they likely expected. Niall hacked away at one, blood spraying across his pale face, and Liam got a nice hit on another, making him stumble back, jaw broken. Zayn threw his small blade, thanking the Mother that he had obsessively sharpened his knives on the way back to soothe his nervous energy. He watched as it embedded itself into the back of the slaver that Jonah grappled with, giving Jonah the distraction he needed to stab him under the ribs and push him away. 

Niall made a pained noise, taking a hit to the thigh that made him fall to his knees in the water. Zayn darted forward, watching Liam twist and hit the attacker on the throat and make him splutter. Zayn grabbed the man and thrust his sword under his armpit and into his chest, making blood dribble out of his mouth as he pulled it back. He cast the man away, throwing him into the woman that Milo locked blades with and making her stumble. Milo finished her with a quick stroke of his sword. 

The man that Liam had hurt fell back, jaw hanging grotesquely, while the remaining slaver made a last lunge for Niall that Liam intercepted by swinging the staff into her stomach, making her breath leave her lungs in a whoosh. Milo caught her by the hair and slit her throat before she could recover, and Jonah finished the last one with a blade embedded deeply above his collarbone. 

They stood, panting at each other, Niall cursing his leg and trying to stand. Liam gave him a hand up, placing his arm around his shoulders. 

The relief that struck Zayn at seeing them alive, if worse for wear, made him feel breathless and he couldn’t help the smile that stole across his features upon realizing it. He probably looked manic, smiling at them with blood splattered on his face and neck and leathers, sword still out and dripping. Liam was looking at him like he was a ghost, or a vision.

“You came back,” he said. 

“Had a feeling that we might be needed,” he said. “After all I know someone here who owes me an answer, and he seems to have terrible luck. I’d hate for him to die before he could tell me his decision.” His smile shifted to become teasing, but Liam did not respond vocally, instead choosing to reach for him and pull him into a one-armed hug that he returned tightly, lifting an arm to include Niall as well. 

“I sure am happy to see you, Zayner. I thought for sure we were dead,” Niall said, smiling in open-faced relief. Liam shook next to him, and Zayn got the impression that Niall was not the only one that thought that way. Liam must have been terrified, knowing how close they were to taking Lily and the other children. Zayn wondered if he had intervened right before Liam would have given himself up and revealed his mark in exchange for the remaining lives to be saved. The thought made him hold Liam tighter, and Liam tightened his own embrace in return. 

“Did not think I’d get to see you again,” Liam said, voice muffled in Zayn’s shoulder. 

“I told you. I’m not going to let you be taken, you or Lily. Not while I still have breath in my lungs. And especially not when you owe me something. There's no way I could live out the rest of my life wondering what you might have said,” he said, turning his mouth to Liam’s ear. This time, Liam responded to the joke with a choked laugh. 

“And you say that _I’m_ stubborn. You really are the oddest clansman,” Liam said. 

“Oi. Don’t mind your pal Niall over here with his head wound and his leg bleeding all over. I’m sure he’ll be fine. No need to stop your flirting to see to him or any such thing,” Niall said, pinching Zayn on the side as he did so. Zayn pulled back regretfully, shooting Niall an apologetic smile. 

“Sorry Niall,” he said, looking to Liam. Liam looked dirty, with a few cuts and bruises here and there, but otherwise healthy if tired. His eyes, however, were suspiciously bright where they traced Zayn’s features, as if still disbelieving that he was there. He had an idea of what that felt like, drinking Liam in like a man dying of thirst. 

“No you’re not,” Niall said, with a put-upon sigh that made Zayn laugh and step back. Milo and Jonah seemed to be trying to mind their own business, and had set upon the task of calling to the children to let them know it was safe. Zayn waved to his sisters and Lily, excited to see them, to make sure they were okay.

“Should we hurry up to camp before we call the children in? Or are things well taken care of?” Milo asked. 

“They should be in fine shape. Liam, see what you can do about Niall’s leg and his head,” he said, leaving them to walk back towards the tree line. “Milo, Jonah – you two start helping the children swim to shore. And I’ll- ah,” he stopped, blinking. He felt the strangest feeling of pressure in his side. He looked down, slowly.

The handle of a blade was jutting from his body. 

He looked at it, feeling slow and stupid. Oh. How had that gotten there? He looked up for a source too quickly and stumbled to his knees, dizzy with the change in perspective. His ears were buzzing, making it hard to focus on the faces of the people coming through the trees. They passed him without thought, one of them shoving him to the ground roughly with a kick that made him see stars. He turned his head to watch their black cloaks flutter around them as they descended on the four by the water. 

One of the slavers must have managed to send a message about the location of the children. And now the remaining slavers must have decided to make a last effort to grab the children and run when the tide turned against them, he thought with a spark of worry that dulled with the oncoming realization of pain. So much pain. 

“Zayn!” Liam yelled. Zayn opened his eyes a sliver, not realizing that he had closed them and looked back at the water to where Liam was moving, fighting like a man possessed. It was hard to keep track of him when he moved so quickly, Zayn thought. He saw Niall fall without Liam to support him, and then Jonah fell with a spray of blood and Milo was screaming. And Liam was still thrashing his staff about with deadly accuracy. 

And then more people were coming through the trees. 

His people, he thought with bleary thankfulness, hand moving along his side to feel where the blade pierced him. His training told him to keep the blade where it was, to staunch the flow of blood from leaving his body, but it felt so curious, so wrong where it sat inside of him. It hurt when he touched it and he pulled his hand away, fingers feeling sticky and hot. He decided to focus his attention elsewhere, back to the lake.

His tribesmen were fighting alongside Liam, killing the slavers, driving them away. He closed his eyes, letting the battle fall away and thinking about his breathing. 

Someone was shouting, minutes or hours later, making Zayn struggle back to the present. They were shouting Liam’s name, he discovered, when he focused his attention. His eyes opened again and sought out Liam’s form. He was by the lake, hitting a man over and over again as he made no move to protect himself. Niall sat in the water near him, looking gray. Zayn made an unhappy noise – it wasn’t like Liam to decide to break his vows. Zayn didn’t like it. 

Suddenly, cool hands were on his cheeks making him look up into a concerned face. 

“El’nor?” he mumbled. When had she gotten there? She gasped and patted his face, making his head toss uncomfortably. 

“Liam! Liam, he’s alive!” she shouted. The sounds of thrashing stopped and suddenly there were footsteps approaching quickly and someone kneeling by his side. Liam. Liam looked pretty mad actually. And worried. 

“Go! Send for Jana or one of her helpers. He can’t be moved – he needs to be stitched up here,” Eleanor was shouting. He heard the sounds of people running, moving away. Liam leaned over him, pressing his face into Zayn’s chest, hands gripping his jerkin in a way that did not actually feel nice when his whole body felt sensitive and unhappy. Someone else was cutting his clothing away near the blade and he hissed, really not liking the sensation. Liam did not pull away. If anything, he held on tighter. 

“I thought you were dead. You _were_ dead. You fell. And your eyes closed. _I thought you were dead_ ,” Liam was saying. He was shaking. 

“M’not,” Zayn said.

“You’re not allowed to be dead. Not when I still haven’t answered you, remember?” he said, lifting himself slightly so as to put his face directly in line with Zayn’s.

“Mmm?” Zayn said, wanting to talk later and sleep now. 

“Don’t you fucking dare close your eyes and fall asleep, clansman,” Liam yelled in his face. Zayn’s eyes flicked open again, looking at Liam reproachfully. 

“M’tired,” he said. Liam looked like he wanted to shout at him again, but abruptly he wasn’t there. Jana had pushed him aside, making him sprawl out next to Zayn. Her face above his was tired and worried. 

“Alright Zayn, time to get you fixed up. Hold him tight now, this is going to hurt,” she was saying. He felt a hand touch the handle of the blade inside of him and winced. Liam was in his face again, hand strong on his shoulder and hand gripping his face. 

“Look at me, Zayn. Only at me,” he said. Zayn began to nod and then his whole body jerked as the most sensational pain coursed through his body as Jana pulled the knife from his side. He screamed. 

The world faded to black. 

He did not dream while he was out, though he thought he heard snippets of conversation around his head. Someone woke him several times to make him drink and eat, to help him with the chamber pot, and to check on his dressings. 

He had no idea how much time had passed, or who came to check on him. He thought he heard his mother crying, but that couldn’t be right. He had only heard her cry once before, when he almost died in Etho, and that was so long ago that he had almost forgotten that she could. 

He tried to fight against the foul smelling medicines that he was given, but firm hands held him even when he cried out his displeasure. That same firm touch inspected his bandages and made tutting noises, touching at his wound where it felt like a hot poker in his side until his consciousness hid from the pain once more.

He woke fully for the first time snug between two bodies. He smiled with his eyes closed, thinking of how he would do this as a young boy with his parents when he woke from a nightmare. He always felt safe there.

His hand traveled down his side to the bandages at his waist. They felt dry on the outside and not too hot to the touch. He was healing well then. 

He opened his eyes and found Lily curled into his chest, her hand on his arm. He blinked at her slowly, looking at the place where their skin touched. Belatedly, he yelped and pulled backwards into the other body and then groaned as the pain of the movement speared through his side. Gods, he might be sick.

“Shit, I’m sorry,” Liam’s voice said behind him. He found himself pushed gently onto his back once more and took several deep breaths to calm his beating heart. Lily had slept through the movement and the noise, and curled tighter into herself with a sleepy little pout. She looked tired, even in sleep, poor girl. He looked back at Liam in question, and found him looking distressed, chewing on his lip.

“What’s going on?” Zayn asked, voice scratchy. He coughed, tongue feeling dry in his mouth. Liam reached beside him and grabbed a canteen of water. He lifted Zayn’s head slightly to help him drink and he swallowed greedily, feeling as though he was as dry inside as the desert. When he was done, he lifted a hand to push it away. 

“She permitted you, Zayn. We- she was so scared when you were hurt and she wanted to be close to you. She gave you permission while you were unconscious. I should have thought that it would be a surprise for you to wake up to, but I didn’t think of it, didn’t think that you would wake up fully today when you’ve been out of it for days, and now you’ve probably torn your stitches and Jana will kill me,” Liam said, trace of a smile warring with the worry in his eyes. Zayn looked up at him, confused.

“She permitted me?” he asked, pushing away at the furs, feeling too hot. Liam took a cool cloth from beside the bed and began tracing it over his features, making him whimper in appreciation. 

“Yes. She asked if I thought you would mind, do you believe it?” Liam asked, moving the cloth down his neck. He turned to dip the cloth again before returning to his path and running it over Zayn’s chest, making his nipples pebble and his muscles start to tense. Liam quickly moved the cloth back to his face. 

“No, I don’t,” he said, wonderingly. He looked to Lily again and watched the steady rise and fall of her chest. He reached out a hand to touch her and brushed the hair away from her face as he imagined doing so many times before. His lungs felt suddenly too small and inadequate. 

Liam put the cloth away and snuggled up next to him carefully. 

“How did you know to turn back?” Liam asked quietly.

“My mother told you we saw a village that had been ravaged by slavers?” he asked. When Liam nodded, he continued, “When we saw the village, I just knew that you would be next when you attract trouble so easily. I was so worried that we wouldn’t get here in time. My mother thought I had lost my mind. She’s, ah, probably going to have a bunch of questions for you,” he said, feeling a little guilty at exposing Liam’s secrets. 

“It’s okay. It was probably only a matter of time,” Liam said. 

“Sorry,” Zayn said, regardless. Liam hummed against him in agreement. Zayn thought about sleeping again, watching Lily’s eyelids flutter as she dreamt. 

“By the time you arrived, they had been there about a day and a half, though they did not discover the lake until the second day. Doniya is a good leader – she made their safety a priority and came up with the idea to put them by the lake. Niall and I, and a handful of others, volunteered to protect them in case any slavers made it down there. When I saw that some slavers had discovered the path, I told the children to get in the water.”

“What happened next?” Zayn asked.

“I told the others that I thought they were using flix – did someone tell you?” he asked and Zayn nodded. 

“I came across Calum on my way to the lake and he mentioned it,” he said, frowning.

“Gou only tried it a handful of times – I don’t think he liked the idea of his slaves being stronger and faster than he was. But it was enough for me to recognize the signs. Flix can make you feel unstoppable, and it certainly explains the odd look in their eyes and the way they fought forever without tiring. It’s really a miracle that we lasted so well. Your warriors fought hard to keep their home safe,” Liam said. 

“And you? Looked like you were fighting pretty hard yourself,” Zayn said.

“I fought harder than I ever have in my life. And for longer, even when I knew that the odds were against us,” he said.

“Even knowing you might be able to escape them if you let yourself be taken?” Zayn asked, curious. 

“Even then. It was an odd feeling. I thought of you often. Of how I wanted to see you again. Of how mad you would be if you came back and I was gone,” he said. 

“Don’t tell me you’ve suddenly become weary of making me angry when you seem to delight in it so,” Zayn said. A mouth bit him gently on the neck in reprimand. 

“Maybe I have,” was the stubborn response. 

“Ouch,” Zayn said belatedly, raising a hand to rub at the bite. Liam caught it in his and held it on top of Zayn’s chest. Zayn turned his head away from Lily at last and found Liam looking at him steadily. 

“There you are,” Liam said. 

“Feeling demanding of my attentions?” Zayn asked. 

“Yes,” Liam answered plainly, making Zayn want to shiver. 

“What did you think when you saw me? You looked like you had seen a ghost,” he said, changing the subject. 

“I thought you might be one. I had been thinking of you since you left, and often during the siege, and then there you were. Like I had conjured you up or something. I never imagined that you would be here, though. I knew that the raid would last long enough that you would not be back in time. I just hoped I would be alive at the end of it to see you,” he said. 

“Must have been quite the surprise then for me to end up with the sword in my side instead of you,” Zayn said, joking. Liam did not laugh, and closed his eyes, remembering. 

“You have no idea. When I saw you fall, and thought you were dead… Zayn, I lost my mind. I wanted to kill someone for the first time in years. Even with everything that has happened to me, I rarely feel that type of rage - that need for someone’s blood on my hands. But when you fell. Gods, Zayn, I almost broke my vow,” he said breath quickening. “You were dead,” he said, eyes opening and voice raw. 

“Shhh. No. I’m fine. Just a little hurt. I’ll live. I’ve had worse,” he lied. Liam hunched into him, pressing his face into his neck. 

“You aren’t allowed to die before I gave you my answer,” Liam said, mouth against his skin. Zayn stilled. 

“You don’t need to give it to me now. You’re probably still worked up and tired from the battle,” Zayn said. 

“That’s okay. I’ve known my answer since you left,” he said, clenching Zayn’s fingers to his own. 

“And?” Zayn asked, mouth feeling sticky. 

“First, I really want to kiss you, even though your mouth probably tastes terrible right now and you’ll probably fall asleep before I finish, judging by the droop of your eyelids,” he said. 

He moved forward and kissed Zayn then, a gentle thing with a few swipes of tongue that Zayn returned before Liam pulled back with a grimace. “See? It’s ridiculous. You taste awful right now and all I want to do is kiss you again,” Liam said, moving in to steal another soft kiss before moving back. ”Gross.”

“What else?” Zayn asked, mind struggling back to coherency. 

“I want to keep teaching you how to train the horses. I want to see you every day, and laugh at you when Sawda throws you into the thorny plants that live by the lake. I want to watch you play with Lily, see you hold her until she falls asleep. I don’t want to be parted from you and have to wonder how you are or if you’re alive,” he said, fingers stroking Zayn’s chest between his fingers. 

“Yeah?” Zayn asked, heart feeling as though it would pound out of his chest. 

“Yes. I’ve had some time to think about it,” he said, eyes a touch sad. “I’ve thought on our conversations often, mainly those the day of the feast and on the day you left. I remember the way you looked when you told me you did not want to own me unless I owned you in return, saying something so kind after I had just tried to cut you down with my own words. You kept trying so hard to make me happy here, even though I fought you so.” 

“Oh,” Zayn said. What did he say to that? Did he believe it all, after everything? He searched Liam’s eyes, thinking. It seemed such a hard thing to think about, his mind feeling fuzzy as he tried to focus on what was said.

“You still don’t really believe me, do you?” Liam asked. He sounded upset, but far away. Zayn turned his face into the furs, enjoying how soft they felt against his skin. 

“Mmmph?” Zayn said.

“I’ll prove it to you. Show you I was being stubborn before. I will,” Liam said, sounding resolute. Zayn closed his eyes. 

“Mmm hmm,” he hummed. 

“Are you falling asleep while I confess to you?” Liam asked, sounding more amused than angry. 

“No,” he said, meaning ‘yes’. 

“Fine. Go back to sleep. I’ll be here when you wake,” Liam said. The press of lips on his forehead was the last thing Zayn felt before he fell asleep.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay - moving takes a lot out of a person. That and I started to make this chapter too long again and I had to split it. Hope you like it!

Zayn sat on the main path, stripping bark from fresh boughs that had been laid delicately in front of him. The bark was stretchy and new, and when stripped and wound together with wax and oil, it became a strong and sticky rope that could be used for tying the poles of the tent to each other and to the stakes in the ground. 

It was simple work, but he was glad for it. The slavers had attacked three weeks ago, and today was only the second day that he had been allowed by Jana and his mother to go outside and to do something more physical than to relieve himself. His muscles felt sloppy from lack of use, and even the simple motions of stripping the bark and winding it together were making him feel tired. Not that he would admit it – it had been too much of a fight to be allowed outside to squander it because his injury was draining his energy. 

Liam had fussed _so_ much when Zayn had first come to sit at his craft. He had asked Zayn repeatedly if he thought it was a good idea to be doing something physical at this point in his recovery and had tried to take the bark away from Zayn or assist him with it in such a way as to become a general nuisance. Fed up, Zayn eventually growled something unkind that had convinced Liam that he was just fine, thank you, and that it would be in his best interest to back off and let Zayn do what he wanted. 

Even now, as Liam worked with the others he would look over his shoulder at Zayn with frustrating regularity and the same concerned expression. Zayn made sure to return each look with a glare that made Liam purse his lips and turn away. 

It felt good to be doing something to aid in his clan’s recovery. Even something as small as making tent rope made him feel less guilty about his lack of contribution to the rebuilding of his home. So much had been lost to fire or general destruction and mayhem. It would take them several weeks more until everything was in order once again. 

And so many people were lost too – a third of their tribe was dead. One third of the people that Zayn was used to seeing in his clan or around the fire at feast day would never be seen again. It was devastating to think of. So many people in his clan were mourning sons or daughters or mates or parents or friends. He felt enormously lucky that all of his close friends and family were alive. Even the stab of guilt he felt for harboring such thoughts when so many were dead could not drown out his feeling of thankfulness. 

Some in his closest circle had been injured. Niall’s injury to his leg was deep, and there was a strong likelihood that it would pain him some for the rest of his life. Harry had taken a tumble from his horse during the raid, and had an enormous bump on his head, a broken arm, and a surly temper from the exchange. Doniya had been stabbed in the shoulder, but she was recovering nicely and had not lost too much blood. His youngest siblings were both a bit traumatized by the attack, something he saw glimpses of in Lily as well, but they were still young and flexible. He knew that they would grow to be stronger and smarter for it, all the more determined to protect their clan and their loved ones. 

And his father had lost an eye. He had been slashed across the face by a mounted slaver, too slow in bringing up his blade to defend himself. Zayn had not seen him until a week ago, his injury paining him too much to walk around. The loss of the eye was also disorienting, and Zayn knew he struggled to accommodate for the change. Zayn had cried when he held him for the first time after the injury, but his father had comforted him and even made him laugh, assuring him that Trisha still said he was the most handsome man in the clan. 

Today, Liam and the others were rebuilding some of the tents that had been ravaged. With many injured and in need of care, and many others dead, the clan had banded together to make sure that all injured persons were staying with other individuals to care for them, and those who lost someone dear to them would be staying with others who could help to carry the burden of their loss. 

The task of rebuilding tents was not an immediate issue and only began to be sorted a couple days ago. They would also need tents for new clansmen after the next raids, and no one liked seeing the empty spaces where they stood for their previous occupants. 

Niall was staying with Greg, and Harry and Eleanor were staying with Louis. Louis normally lived alone, but after the attack he and Eleanor had become closer than ever, and had all but moved in together. And an injured Harry was too much of a pain for anyone to take on other than his best friend who would not tolerate any whining or woeful eyes.

And Zayn had been staying with Liam and Lily. 

He still had no idea how Liam had been able to convince his mother to let him take Zayn. He was surprised that she had not insisted on taking him into her care.

After the first week and a half of living with Liam, when he was finally able to stay conscious long enough to have conversations that lasted longer than ten minutes, he had insisted on taking his own bed. Liam and he had a fantastic row about it, with Zayn eventually getting his way. His smug sense of superiority lasted until morning when he found Liam and Lily curled around him once more. He gave Liam a stern talking to that he know Liam only half listened to, and from then on every night he went to sleep alone and woke up curled into two warm bodies. 

Liam did not even seem smug about his nighttime wanderings when Zayn shoved him awake each morning. Instead, he would simply set to the task of serving breakfast before leaving Zayn to his own devices. Zayn had seen visitors to eat up the time, and because he wanted to – his friends and family came by often to check in on him. And Liam or Lily visited when they could too. They brought him fun things when they could, or just talked to him for a spell before going back to their plans. 

As much as he enjoyed the time to rest and recuperate at first, it wasn’t long before the walls of the tent seemed like chains upon his person and he became snappish with the need to go out. The first priorities of the clan had been the burying of the dead and the prayer for their passing. He had been unable to attend because of his injury, and the thought grated. As much as he fought to attend, Jana had been stone-faced in her insistence that focus on healing. 

After all the dead were buried, his mother had lit a fire in the fire pit and had called her injured clan together to mourn and pray together. She had explained to them about the other village they had encountered and about the terrible trespasses of the West had made, and her promise that she would hold them accountable. She praised them for their bravery and strength, and gave her word that retribution would belong to them one day. 

After that night, Trisha had sent forth a small party of warriors to go back to the village to bury the dead, take the beasts, and burn the village. She also directed them to travel West carefully and see if they could find any other villages that matched that one. Another small party was sent Northwest to see if there was a similar trail of destruction there. While they were away, her messengers returned from the tribes and cities, reporting that they would all like to discuss what had happened. It was likely that a Southern army of slavers was still on the move, and they were all eager to convene to prevent further destruction. Additionally, the loss of their Northern slavers would have reached the West by now, and they wanted to act before the West devised a response. 

They agreed to meet in the Sevarre for the equinox, two weeks from the current date. Sevarre being the central city as well as the largest, it was the ideal place to meet for a council of all the prominent tribes of the area, as well as for the priestesses of the outlying cities. Zayn would have liked to attend the meeting to see what would be said there, but Jana had been strict in her denial. 

She had added that he was to limit his riding and love making to another two months. She had looked at him skeptically as she said so, as if expecting him to break that rule, making him feel foolish like a child reprimanded at play. Though he supposed after that he should take it as a compliment that she thought he had so many requests for fucking that he would be hard pressed to turn them away. 

He hoped they decided to close the slaving market in Sevarre and in the other three great cities. It would be a crippling blow to the Western economy to be unable to have a central point to sell their slaves. And if the council wanted to band together to launch a full scale attack to release the people poached from their territories, then Zayn would be the first to sign up for the march. Well, assuming that his well-intended minders allowed him to make the journey, he thought sulkily. 

Liam was looking at him again, he noticed, twisting a piece of bark rather more vigorously than was needed. He gave him a sullen look in return and, as he had done so before, Liam looked irritated and moved back to his work. He needed to pay more attention to his own work than on Zayn’s. Liam was partnered with Ashton to dig holes for the tent beams and add tough black tar to the holes after lowering the beams in. The tar would harden in a couple hours, but was thick enough that they could leave the beam standing without having to hold it as it dried. If he didn’t mind himself, he or Ashton would be liable to fall into that tar and then Zayn would laugh for days while he unsuccessfully tried to peel the stuff from his skin without taking off his hair. Harry, who was usually a disaster in such tasks, had been banned from that duty for precisely that reason. His arms had been as soft and hairless as a baby’s for a week after his misadventure. 

Next to Liam and Ashton, Calum and Luke worked together to stitch together long square pieces of the soft tanned hide that served as the fabric for their tents. After the pieces were sewn together and the edges trimmed neatly, the seams would be covered with the same tar to tie keep them tightly held together. After the tar dried, the entire piece would be covered with special oil that kept out the infrequent rains and toughened the material. Luke’s arm was still in a sling from his battle injury, so Calum was doing most of the work, though Luke helped where he could. Zayn enjoyed watching them chat amiably with each other, occasionally blushing when their fingers brushed. It seemed that they had resolved whatever issues they had and were back to being friends, though it was hard to tell if it was more than that between them. In either case, it was nice to see them enjoying each other’s company, rift sealed. 

As he watched the clansmen complete their tasks and worked on his own, he heard someone running towards him and turned to see Lily coming at him at a full gallop. His body tensed, waiting for the impact that would surely make him pass out. She seemed to remember that he was injured and slid into a stop next to him instead of tackling him with the full might of her young body. She sat next to him and slumped into his uninjured side, smiling up at him. Helpless against that look, he smiled back. 

“And what are you up to, love?” he asked, leaning down to kiss at her face, his eyes crossing and his cheeks squished together in a silly expression that made her laugh and try and emulate the look. He laughed at her attempts, wanted to pinch at her nose or her sides to keep her laughing, but unable to with his hands covered in wax and oil and tree sap. And, oh, it was nice to have that as the reason and not the fact that he was not permitted to. 

Zayn loved being in the small circle of people that Lily would touch and allow herself to be touched by. It was probably the highest honor that he would receive in his life. He found excuses to hold her or tickle her or twirl her around, making up for time lost in the long months that he kept his hands to himself. He would never ask her why she had decided to let him into that small circle; he was just grateful for her decision and prayed that he never gave her cause to regret it. 

“Where were you running from, Lily-girl?” he asked, once their laughter had come to a stop. 

“I was collecting worms by the lake. Liam said he would teach me how to fish later. You can come too if you like,” she said. On closer inspection, her hands were rather dirty, as were her knees and her elbows, providing evidence for her story. 

“Maybe,” he said, not wanting to tell her that he was probably going to lie down with one of Jana’s evil smelling concoctions and sleep in their tent after eating some dinner. After all of the nagging that he had endured the past couple hours, he was looking forward to some time alone in his tent. As if predicting his thoughts, Liam turned around to look at him again, expression becoming suspicious at the guileless smile that Zayn leveled him with. When Zayn glared at the continued attention, Liam – of all things – seemed to relax and turned back around. 

“Zayn, when will you be better enough to work with Sawda?” Lily asked. He did his best not to grimace at the reminder. Not being able to spend his usual time at the lake with Sawda was perhaps the worst part of his injury. If the walk down to the lake did not tire him so completely that he needed to rest immediately, then the walk back up to camp would surely kill him – or at least make him pass out until someone found him embarrassingly tangled in the desert weeds. And there was no way he was allowing anyone to carry him down to the lake like an invalid and undo all of his work to be allowed out in the world again. 

Yet another reason that fishing was not high on Zayn’s lists of interests at the moment. 

“I don’t know. It depends on how fast I heal and what Jana says. But it will probably be at least another couple of weeks before I’m well enough to go train her by the lake. And she’s a bit too frisky for me to tend to her in the corral,” he said. He did not mention that Liam had flat-out refused to put her in the corral for him because he did not trust him to mind his injury if he had access to her. And when he had tried to bribe Louis into gathering her for him while Liam was hunting, his friend had staunchly refused on grounds that he liked his cock where it was too much to risk Liam’s wrath. Eleanor had said the same, though far more politely and with less cock. 

The memory made him sulky and he pushed the feeling away, instead thinking about things that were good. Liam’s arm muscles were good, said his traitorous brain, and his eyes focused on the way they shifted and tensed as Liam held a tent pole steady while Ashton poured tar into the hole. His ass was also good, he thought, letting his eyes rest on the nice swell there and the little crease where his cheeks met together. Mmm. 

“Do you like Liam’s pants? Like how Liam likes your pants?” Lily asked, jolting him back to reality and the knowledge that he was a bad man. 

“Uhm. Yes?” he said, tone asking more than telling. Lily looked satisfied enough with the answer and let it go. Gods. If only all his friends were as easy. 

Ashton finished pouring the tar and mentioned something to Liam, who nodded, and then Ashton was walking easily towards Zayn and Lily. 

“Got any finished product for us?” he asked, flashing his dimples in a way that instantly reminded Zayn of the young boy he had been when he arrived at their clan. Even then he had been outgoing and friendly, though uncommonly interested in things other children his age found to be boring like the shedding habits of lizards and the like. 

“This here is the ready stuff,” Zayn said, pointing to the pile to his left. Ashton picked up a handful with a nod of thanks, and walked back to Liam who was readying the long pole that would run on top of the two y-shaped poles that they had placed opposite each other. While he and Lily watched – entranced, though likely for different reasons – Liam carefully balanced it on the first pole and slid it back on the second with only a little difficulty. Then, turning to Ashton, he boosted the other boy onto his shoulders and stood carefully. As agile as any acrobat, Ashton steadily climbed to his feet atop Liam’s shoulders and began to tie the poles together with Zayn’s rope. 

“Oh right!” Lily said loudly next to him, making him startle away from the scene in front of him and look at her. He realized at the same time that he had completely stopped working on producing more rope, and instead had been staring like a gaping idiot for several long minutes. He busied his hands again, though he kept his eyes on Lily.

“What is it?” he asked. She was digging in her pockets, making him want to touch the necklace that he still wore around his neck at the memory of the last time he had seen her do so. His sticky hands prevented him from touch yet again. 

Eventually she gathered what she was looking for and reached her hand towards him, her fingers fisted around something. Zayn pretended not to notice the little brown toad making it’s escape to freedom from the same pocket, though he did spare a brief hope that another squishy friend was not clenched miserably in that small hand. He held his hand under hers after rubbing it briskly on his pants and she plopped something wet and cool into his hand. 

Decidedly not an unhappy little toad, the object in his hand was a pearl about half the length of his thumb. He marveled at it, never having seen one so large before. 

“Where did you get this?” he asked, sounding awed. 

“Liam found it. He said that he found a bunch of shell-beasts living under the lake and he dove for them while I watched him. He’s really good at holding his breath,” she added innocently, impressed with the feat. Zayn tried very hard not to imagine the skill out of the context of the story. “He ate them, even the huge one that made that big pearl. I tried one but I didn’t like it,” she said, face screwing up into an expression of disgust. Zayn supported the sentiment, knowing what creatures she spoke of and feeling similar feelings of distaste towards eating them. 

He hadn’t even known they were in the lake, or that they could live in fresh water. He’d only seen them when he traveled North to Golai with his family so his mother could visit the true-born oracle that lived there some fifteen years ago. Oracles always died young, and thus their lives were full of constant visitors. His mother, being the daughter of the chieftan of a respected tribe, was lucky to be seen. While his mother had spoken to the young girl, he and his father and Doniya had gone exploring. They had found the shell-beasts at market there and had tried them, though only his father had been taken with them. He still remembered the slimy texture and the briny taste that seemed to take residence in his mouth for hours after. 

Although the clansmen used the lake, and fishing was common, he could not think of any that willingly dove to the bottom to investigate. Every other year or so there was a death or a close call due to drowning in the lake, and the people treated it with a healthy dose of respect and did not choose to tempt fate by diving deep into uncharted places. Though if Zayn told Yaser that the shell-beasts lived there, he was sure that Liam would find company in his diving ventures. 

The peal shone darkly in his palm, polished to perfection by the master jeweler that had made it and donated it as well as its flesh for consumption. He’d never seen anything like it. He had seen the pearls that Northerners brought to Sevarre, and he remembered seeing them at market in Golai, but he could not remember ever seeing one so nice before. It was beautiful. He pressed it to his mouth, enjoying the cool slick feel of the thing against his lips, before pulling it away to admire it once more. 

“Do you not want it, Lily?” he asked, surprised when she shook her head. 

“No. Liam said that one was for you. He’s going to make me a full necklace of pearls when he finds enough. That’s all I want,” she said. He looked at her, stumped. She must know that such a prize would take ages for Liam to make. Not all shell-beasts made pearls, and those that did have the treasure inside did not make them of a uniform size and shape. It seemed odd that she would be willing to wait that time when she could have something so fine as the black pearl in Zayn’s hand. 

“Are you sure? I don’t mind if you want this one too,” he asked. She spared the treasure one longing look, but shook her head at him, looking serious. 

“No Zayn, that one’s yours. Liam already asked if I minded if he gave it to you. He said that he wanted to give you a present and that he thought you would like it,” she explained. “You do like it, don’t you?” she added, suddenly sounding anxious. 

“Of course. It’s amazing,” he assured her, closing his fingers around the prize and looking up to find Liam watching him again from the corner of his eye, Ashton still balanced on his shoulders. He seemed tense, waiting. 

“Oh good. Liam was worried that you wouldn’t like it and that he’d have to think of something else even better,” Lily blathered on, sticking her hand back in her pocket and frowning when she noticed the absence of her toad. “Uh oh. I’ve lost Henri again. Bye Zayn!” she said, jumping up and running off. Zayn said a quick prayer of speed for ‘Henri’ and for his friends. 

“Do you like it?” he heard. Turning from watching Lily look for her toad, he saw Liam standing in front of him, hands in his pockets. A quick glance to his side saw Ashton gabbing with Calum and Luke, making Luke laugh and Calum look at him fondly. 

“Don’t you have another corner to tie together?” Zayn asked instead of answering his question. Liam huffed.

“Don’t be difficult. It’s an easy question,” Liam said, familiar little crease forming between his eyebrows. In his odd moments, Zayn liked to think of himself as personally responsible for it’s conception on Liam’s face. 

“So was mine,” Zayn said, smirking. If Liam wanted ‘easy’ from him, then he probably should not have nagged him so incessantly this morning. If Liam offered to help him use the chamber pot one more time, he was going to go ahead and call him out on having some odd fetish. Liam’s little frown line deepened. 

“Yes, we still have the other knot to finish, but I asked Ashton if we could take a break so we could eat the midday meal and then come back to it in an hour or so,” he said. 

“Ah,” Zayn said. Liam stared at him. It occurred to Zayn that he was probably waiting for a response to his own question. Zayn yawned and scratched his belly with the hand not holding the pearl, enjoying the steady increase in frustration on Liam’s face. 

“Do you like the pearl, Zayn?” Liam asked, eyes direct on his though his expression spoke of nervousness that was becoming on him. Unfortunately for Zayn’s mental health, most expressions were becoming on Liam. 

“Yes. Thank you for your gift,” Zayn said, relinquishing the game at last. Liam smiled at him brightly, eyes scrunching with the force of it. 

“I’m glad,” he said, rocking back between his heels and his toes. Zayn had to smile at his excitement. 

“It’s a thoughtful gift. I’ll have to think of a good place to put it,” he said, trying to imagine Liam’s hut and a good place for the pearl to sit so he would not lose it.

“I think it would look nice against your skin,” Liam said, smile becoming smaller, but no less sincere. Zayn swallowed and tried not to blush. 

“How do you mean?” he asked looking at the pearl so as to avoid looking at Liam’s kind face. Liam, however, circumvented that plan by dropping to a crouch in front of him and taking the pearl from his hand gently, fingers dry against his own slightly sticky ones. Liam looked at it thoughtfully, and then carefully reached forward with it and placed it at the base of Zayn’s throat. He held it between his thumb and forefinger so as to best see the effect of the contrast, remaining digits resting delicately on Zayn’s skin. Zayn felt himself go still. 

“There. I think it would look nice on your neck,” he said, eyes lifting to catch Zayn’s. He looked so serious – it was making Zayn’s heartbeat begin to notice and stumble into a run. “I could make you a leather band for it with a space for it to fit into,” he said, looking down again and using his other hand to illustrate his words, drawing lines on Zayn’s neck and collar with his fingers. 

“Yeah?” Zayn asked, hoping he didn’t sound as breathless as he was beginning to feel. Liam’s eyes flickered up to his again and he smiled. 

“Yeah. It’s not as though you need further adornment to catch eyes. You are beautiful even when you’re in our bedding in your rumpled sleep clothes and you haven’t bathed in days. But it would look nice on you,” he said, pulling the pearl away at last and placing it in Zayn’s hand, wrapping his fingers around it. 

“Thank you,” Zayn said, feeling flustered by Liam’s closeness and by the compliment. 

“You’re welcome,” he said. 

Zayn’s stomach decided to interrupt their moment together by making itself known with a loud growl. Liam looked surprised and then laughed.

“Would you like to eat with me in our tent?” he asked. Zayn felt a small zing of want at hearing Liam refer to the tent as _theirs_. 

“Sure,” he said, putting the pearl in a pocket and reaching for his crutch beside him while Liam reached for him. 

“Easy,” Liam said, warningly, making Zayn frown. 

“I’ve got it,” he said, giving Liam a warning glare when he went against his wishes and wrapped an arm around his shoulders to support him. Zayn tried to shrug him off and stand at the same time, which made his side twinge in a sharp pain that would have made him stumble if Liam had not immediately caught him. They stood pressed together tightly enough that Zayn could feel Liam’s shaky breath, the quick tempo of his heartbeat. Liam rested his cheek against Zayn’s.

“I wish that you would just let me help you,” Liam said, sounding frustrated and sad. 

“And I wish that you would realize that I am not a child and do not need to be treated like one,” he said. Liam breathed against him again and Gods, even his breathing sounded put upon. At once, a vicious hand pinched him on the ass making him start and then hiss as it jerked his side. 

“I know you’re not a child. Believe me. But this would be a lot easier if you would let me take care of you,” Liam said. 

“I don’t think pinching my ass qualifies as care,” Zayn said, wanting to rub at his abused behind, but afraid to let go lest he stumble again. Liam solved the problem by running a soothing hand down his ass, making him squeak. Especially when that hand cupped the cheek lovingly and gave it a nice squeeze. “Liam!” he said, wiggling when the hand did not detach from his ass immediately. 

“Just proving that I don’t think of you as a child,” he said, squeezing again before letting go. Zayn wanted to smack himself for thinking that his rear felt cold without the touch. He also had to admit that he probably deserved Liam’s, ah, cheek – so to speak. 

“I’m sorry. I just want to be fit again and I’m tired of having nursemaids everywhere I look,” he said. Liam sighed and pulled back, keeping Zayn supported and handing him his crutch at the same time until the two of them formed an enterprising system where Zayn could move without jerking his injury. Zayn mumbled his thanks. 

“I know you’re annoyed, but we’ll get you through this I promise. And then you’ll be racing Sawda against me and Fiora before you know it,” Liam said. 

“Will I be winning?” Zayn asked, giving him a sly look that made Liam laugh. 

“Every time,” he said. 

They walked carefully to the tent Liam set him down on the bedding just as carefully while he prepared lunch. Lily was nowhere to be seen – likely still looking for her toad or catching lunch with Safaa or Niall. She had taken to visiting Niall at Greg’s tent, though Greg and Mara made her feel a bit shy. She was endlessly curious about the new baby and Niall had spluttered as he told Zayn and Liam about the terrible questions she had asked about the origins of said baby. Zayn, for his part, had been relieved that Niall would weather the answers to those questions. He had a feeling that Liam felt similarly. 

Soon Liam had plates of bread and meat set on the bedding beside Zayn. Handing Zayn the water canteen, he sat himself across from Zayn and began to dig in. Zayn ate enthusiastically at first, but soon found himself slowing down, becoming sleepy. He pushed the plates away, lying down and saying something to Liam about just closing his eyes for a moment. Liam nodded at him, looking as though he was at least willing to pretend that he believed Zayn, and continued his lunch. 

It wasn’t long from there before Zayn was curled into the furs snugly, eyes closing as he drifted into sleep. He was pulled gently back to consciousness by the sensation of someone tugging at him. No, that wasn’t quite right. They were tugging at his clothes. His eyes flitted open and he found Liam untying his shirt laces and pulling him out of it gently. His hands then moved to Zayn’s shoes, which he pulled off less easily than the shirt and made a noise of success when each was released into his hands. He caught Zayn watching him and smiled, cupping his hands around Zayn’s left foot and leaning in to lay a loud kiss on the arch of his foot. Zayn laughed at the ticklish sensation, trying to pull away. Liam let him go, but only to grab his other foot and do the same. Zayn laughed again, but stopped abruptly when Liam kissed his ankle next and then, rolling up his pants leg, he kissed the inside of his knee. Zayn shivered. 

Liam pulled his pant leg down, covering him once more, though Zayn’s skin tingled still where he had kissed it. His heartbeat thumped sleepily in his chest and he watched Liam crawl over him to pull at the lacing of his pants, breath hitching as Liam finished and pulled the pants down far enough to expose his loincloth. Liam kissed him tenderly on the hip, making him gasp. He pulled the pants to rest below his knees and pulled first his right leg and then his left out of their trap, hand pulling under each knee. Once they were free, he looked up at Zayn again and, finding him watching still, crawled over him again to kiss the hip he had not yet touched. Zayn gasped again, face flushing. 

Liam crawled up his body further, arousal and something deeper, something kinder, in his features. He lowered his mouth to Zayn’s neck, at its juncture with his jaw, and kissed him there. When Zayn made no move to stop him, Liam began to suck his skin, warm mouth feeling heavenly. His hand rose to cup the other side of Zayn’s throat, holding him in place as he worked his tongue over the skin and sucked hard enough to hurt a little. When he bit down, Zayn moaned, the sound making him startle and come back to himself. Feeling that something had changed, Liam pulled back to look at Zayn in question. 

Zayn felt very nice, sleep-drunk and pleasantly aroused. Above him, Liam was flushed and gorgeous, mouth open and wet as he looked at Zayn.

“Are you t’king ’vantage of me?” Zayn asked, grinning. Liam looked shocked and then hurt and then begrudgingly amused all in a very short amount of time. He laughed softly, resting his head against Zayn’s chest. 

“I suppose I am,” he said, shaking his head from side to side, tickling Zayn’s ribs with his nose and making Zayn want to laugh but also not want to laugh at the same time because he knew it would hurt his side. 

“ M’injured. An’ sleepy,” Zayn said, yawning as if to prove his point. Liam looked at him fondly and shook his head again, clearly berating himself. 

“I’m sorry,” he said, falling beside Zayn on the bedding instead of on top of him, to the joy of Zayn’s aching side and to the despair of all the wonderful bits between his legs. 

“S’ok. You think I’m b’tiful. Hard to resist,” he said smiling, eyelids drooping one moment and fast asleep the next.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! I'm really sorry for the long delay. I started medical school in a foreign country, so the transition and the massive piles of work have kept me busy. And I totally failed to write an end chapter, though I'm hoping it will be the next one, criminy. 
> 
> Enjoy 22 pages in which nothing finishes like it was supposed to!

He woke next in the early hours of the next morning, feeling both hunger and the need to empty his bladder. Liam was facing him in bed, still asleep, his hand holding Zayn’s wrist as he slept on. Lily slept curled on a cushion to the side, clearly having fallen asleep in the middle of playing some game or another, bright ribbons tangled between her fingers. 

He shoved away his body’s needs for the moment, taking the chance to study the man in front of him. He thought of the gentle way that Liam touched him, and the way that contrasted with the fierce way they fought each other. He let himself think of the night before, of what might have happed had he not stopped things where he did. Would Liam have taken his loincloth off with that same careful touch, kissed him on the inside of his thigh next to where his cock rested? Would he have spread Zayn’s legs apart, hands strong under his knees as they had been last night? Would he have kissed him then in that place, taken him apart with his mouth and fingers before entering him nice and slow with his cock?

He allowed himself to think about sex with Liam, in a way that was far more serious than his late night fantasies in his tent of weeks ago. The idea made him feel hot, but also nervous. It was so easy to see how it would happen, how Liam would touch him, what Liam would say, the way his voice would sound when roughened by sex. It was all too easy to see it happening, to see him giving himself over to this man. Too easy by half. 

Liam woke then, as if sensing his gaze, and smiled when he caught Zayn looking at him. His eyes traveled down Zayn’s face and caught on his neck with a wince. He reached forward to touch the place where he had sucked at Zayn’s skin last night, making Zayn shiver at the sensation.

“Sorry. Left a bit of a mark there,” Liam said, sounding repentant though his fingers continued to stroke the skin there, making Zayn feel needy all over again. He caught the fingers at his neck and pulled them away, kissing them briefly to soothe the sting of the gesture.

“I need to piss, and then to eat. And definitely in that order,” Zayn said. Liam grinned at him and rose to a sitting position, stretching his arms to the sky with a groan that Zayn appreciated a little too much. 

He fetched the chamber pot quickly and gave it to Zayn, back turning away primly to let Zayn relieve himself in private. When Zayn finished, he took it away without even a grimace at the task. Once he tossed it and emptied his own bladder outside, Liam came in and set about making them breakfast while Zayn put himself through the laborious process of pulling on his clothes. Unsurprisingly, Liam finished his task first. Careful not to laugh, he helped Zayn the rest of the way into his shirt and then into his pants. He paused before he finished and looked at Zayn quickly, before pulling the pants down an inch or two on the right side and leaning forward to suck a kiss into Zayn’s hip. 

So Liam was not going to pretend as if yesterday had not happened. 

Liam removed his mouth from his hip slowly, before looking up and gauging Zayn’s reaction. Whatever he saw there made him pause and shake his head, pulling up Zayn’s pants and tying the laces.

Zayn told himself it was stupid to be disappointed. When had he become so wonton and easy for a touch? He tried to school himself into someone more serious, more certain. 

Liam took his hands and pulled him more upright, running his fingers through Zayn’s black hair to try and get it into something more orderly. Zayn watched him, watched that face and found the self-recrimination he knew would be there, and the concerned tilt to his eyebrows as he fussed over his messy hair. 

Satisfied, he drew back, giving Zayn a half smile. 

“There. Mostly presentable, definitely handsome, and making it just as difficult as ever not to take advantage of an injured person,” he said wryly. Zayn winced a little.

“I’m sorry. I just. I can’t,” Zayn said ineloquently. Liam seemed to understand regardless. His jaw clenched and he looked down, but he nodded. 

“It’s okay. It’s my fault. I shouldn’t keep pushing you. I’m sorry,” he said.

“You also said something about breakfast?” Zayn said in the least subtle effort ever to change a conversation. It at least had the desired effect of making Liam laugh and look at him at last. His heart pounded still, but it was easy to look at Liam, especially when he laughed. 

“Right. How could I forget,” he said, rising to retrieve the plates. His eyes said that all was forgiven, so Zayn took the plate and began to eat eagerly. As they were eating, Lily woke and Liam set her up with a plate.

When they were finished, Liam took their plates away and placed them in a tub to soak. Putting on his leathers, and ignoring Zayn’s sad look at his own – apparently invalids were not allowed to wear difficult and stiff clothing – he cleaned his teeth quickly before giving Zayn and Lily a cup of water each and a piece of licorice root to scrub their teeth as well. 

Zayn looked at his boots doubtfully and decided that he could do without today. If he stepped on a scorpion or a wasp, then he would only have himself to blame. But at least he would not have to deal with shoes. Liam brushed Lily’s hair into plaits, tying each off with a leather thong. He gave them each a tug when he finished, and she sprung from his lap, ready to face the day. Liam turned to Zayn then and reached for a boot. 

“No boots today,” he said mulishly. Liam raised an eyebrow.

“Oh really? So should I not wear boots either then? Or Lily?” he asked. It was hard to remember that moments ago this man had his nose nestled near to Zayn’s cock when he could suddenly become such a mother hen. He blushed at the implication – hopefully Liam would take it as a sign of anger. 

“Of course not. You could step on something,” he said. 

“Either we all go no shoes or we all go shoes,” Liam said with stubborn finality. Zayn growled at him, making Lily giggle beside them as she watched their battle. 

“Fine,” he said, reaching for his left boot grumpily and beginning the achingly slow process of nudging it onto his foot. Liam put on both of his boots quickly and helped Lily with hers, and then they both turned to watch him – Lily curious, and Liam smug. He refused to ask for help, and swatted Liam away when he tried to intervene. After ten minutes of watching him huff and puff his way into two boots, Lily looked decidedly bored while Liam looked significantly less smug and far more repentant. 

“Ready?” he asked Zayn quietly. 

“If I ask you for a hand up are you going to get carried away and start ravishing me again?” Zayn asked sweetly. Lily laughed, the perfect audience, despite not knowing what was funny other than the face Liam pulled when he balked at Zayn’s outstretched hand. They stared at each other for a moment, only to be interrupted by Lily sighing beside them.

“You guys are taking _forever_. Can I go find Safaa now?” she asked. Liam looked nonplussed. 

“Okay?” he said. She scampered off with a quick goodbye kiss to each of them. 

“She’s growing up fast. Learning,” Zayn said. 

“She’s not the only one learning new tricks,” he said, looking down at Zayn. He returned the look innocently. 

“You’re one to talk,” Zayn said at last. “I seem to remember some new tricks last night. And this morning,” he said, gratified to watch a blush climb onto Liam’s face. 

“I’m sorry,” he apologized again. Zayn shrugged. It’s not like Liam was acting alone. Or unencouraged. 

Liam took his hand and levered him to his feet, propping him against the heavy stand that showed some of his finished products. Once they were level with each other, Liam’s hand rose to touch him again on the bruise he had made on his neck, making his skin feel hot and cool and achy all at once. Liam took the fingers away himself this time, looking at Zayn with a little smile, mischievous. 

“What?” Zayn asked, already smiling as he waited for the joke. Liam’s grin grew and his eyes danced. 

“It’s nothing,” he said, though his face said otherwise. Zayn poked him in the chest.

“Nothing?” he asked. Liam bit his lip, and leaned forward until his mouth was at Zayn’s ear. 

“Just thinking that you look nice with my mark at your neck,” he said, fingers coming up to trace the bruise as Zayn felt his smile freeze in surprise and his heart tumble into a lurching gallop. 

“Oh yeah?” he asked, quiet. Liam nodded next to him. He could _feel_ it, cheek brushing up against his own. 

“Yes. I’d be happy to give you another,” Liam said, sounding serious, before leaning back with a smile. Zayn wasn’t sure what his own face looked like, and didn’t think that he wanted to know. Probably like a gaping oaf. He shook himself. 

“When I was nine Louis went through a faze where he bit all of his friends on the neck and darted off. Lou-love-bites, we called them. Used to make Harry cry something awful, the big baby,” he said, raising an eyebrow. Hopefully Liam wouldn’t notice that his heart was still hammering along happily and his mind was helpfully replaying the exact sensation of Liam’s tongue on his body. 

“Did he?” Liam said, taking the bait because he was a good sort, even when he was making Zayn lose his mind. Zayn nodded. 

“He did. Used to chase us around and everything, try and make the biggest marks that he could. Should I tell him that he has some competition? Maybe you’d like to ask him for tips?” he asked. Liam laughed. 

“Tips? Didn’t realize I was so bad at it that I’d need some advice from a nine year-old Louis,” he said, biting his lip again. Zayn really wished he would stop – it was making him look far too endearing and drawing much too much attention to his lovely mouth.

Zayn shrugged, trying to smirk. Liam rolled his eyes, so he must have been mostly successful. 

“Should I stick to adorning you in other ways then?” he asked, sounding put out, though Zayn could tell it was a tease. 

“What do you mean?” he asked, confused. 

“Just think it’s time for me to do something about that pearl. Can I see it?” he asked. Zayn nodded, feeling half dazed, but digging in his pockets nonetheless until he found the smooth shape. He drew it out, handing it up to Liam who inspected it quickly, before moving to the corner of the tent that housed his shop. Zayn watched, leaning against a tent stake, as he found a light colored piece of leather and began to cut it into thin strips. When he finished, his quick fingers bound the strips around the pearl and braided the ends. He looked to Zayn, holding it aloft. “Look okay?” he asked.

“Better than,” Zayn said. Liam walked back to him and turned him around gently to tie the necklace around his neck, letting it rest a little below his necklace from Lily. Finishing, he turned Zayn around to face him again. “How do I look?” he asked. Liam looked at him from head to toe, and Zayn was again forcefully reminded of their interactions last night and this morning. 

“Very handsome,” Liam said at last, looking him in the eye. Zayn found himself swallowing hard. 

“Thank you,” he said thickly. Liam gave him a last once over before reaching down and grabbing his crutch, offering it over like a gentleman offering a lady her coat. Zayn shook his head, trying not to hesitate reached out to Liam with his hand. 

“Be my crutch instead?” he asked softly, a small apology for his stubbornness. Liam’s eyes widened and he jumped to comply, probably thinking that Zayn would have a change of heart if given time to think about it. A warm arm wrapped itself along his back. 

“Happy to help,” Liam said. Zayn felt something sweet and hot melt in his chest with relief that Liam would be eager to help even after the debacle yesterday, and after Zayn had refused his amorous attentions. 

He and Liam walked their slow shuffling gait forwards and back to the area where tents were being erected. Despite their slow pace and the noise they made as they moved, someone still managed to bump into Liam, making him twist and pull at Zayn in a way that made his vision go white for a moment while he let out a string of curses. Liam began to apologize, first to the other person and then to Zayn, reaching forward to casually tug at his shirt to check for blood. Zayn let him, feeling like a child, and craned his neck to look over Liam’s concerned visage into the face of the other person. 

“Tom?” he asked. The old man grinned his toothless smile at Zayn. Gods but he really did smell like the back end of a pig. Zayn spared a moment to wonder how he had survived the attack, but then decided that Tom would probably find a way to survive even if the world was ending. 

Tom grinned at him, making suggestive eyes at Liam behind his back, and reached forward to grab a supple handful of Liam’s ass in a tight squeeze. Liam yelped like a pup that had been kicked out of its mother’s bed too early and whipped around to glare at Tom. 

“I’ve asked you not to do that!” he said sternly, rubbing the affected area. His cheeks were a delicious pink in response to the unwelcome attention. Zayn couldn’t help but think that it made him look cute. 

“It is awful forward of you, Tom,” Zayn added, still admiring Liam’s wronged expression. 

“Can’t help myself. When something as nice as that passes by, I just need to get my fingers around it. Mmm mmm. Makes my dick jump every time I see you, boy,” he said pleasantly. Liam colored further, and Zayn – while still finding it cute – began to feel annoyed on Liam’s behalf. 

“I’ve also asked you not to say such things,” Liam grumbled, turning back to Zayn once more to look at his healing wound. 

“Does my mother know that you’re pushing yourself on other clansman?” Zayn asked. Tom gave him a disapproving look. 

“Oh don’t shove your mother at me, young Zayn. Besides, this one is only angry because his own courtship efforts are not working,” he said with a shrug. His hand reached for Liam again but, ready for it this time, Liam swatted it away impatiently. Tom grumbled, rubbing his injured hand.

“Courtship efforts?” Zayn asked, feeling behind. Next to him, Liam pulled down his shirt, satisfied, and looked back at Tom with a queer expression. 

“Sure. Told me he couldn’t be seen with me because he didn’t want his intended courtee to get confused,” he said, still rubbing his slapped knuckles and looking piteously at Liam, who ignored him. Zayn relaxed, understanding that Liam’s story had only been something to make Tom back off. Unsuccessfully. 

“And you decided to keep doing what you were doing, regardless?” Zayn asked, feeling of annoyance creeping back in. 

“Like I told you. Something that fine shouldn’t be wasted,” he said, giving Liam’s ass such a filthy look that Zayn was almost surprised that his clothes hadn’t melted off of him body in response. 

“And yet, I must ask you again to stop,” Liam said with a sigh.

“Why’s that? Courtship efforts finally going well?” Tom asked, looking surprised. Liam gave a short laugh beside him.

“I don’t know yet. I don’t know if he’s even noticed he’s being courted,” Liam said, making Zayn start. What? He looked up from Tom’s curious face to Liam’s. 

Liam was looking back right at him. Staring back, he felt the immediate surges of irrational jealousy – who was Liam courting with all his time spent with Zayn? How could he kiss Zayn’s hips, suck at his neck, make his cock stiffen with need all when he was longing for someone else?

“Who?” he asked, irritated and bewildered. 

Liam raised an eyebrow, looking at him. 

What? He frowned.

Liam kept looking at him, face becoming frustrated. Quick as anything, he leaned in and gave Zayn a short kiss on the mouth, before pulling back. 

“Who do you think?” Liam asked, exasperated. Zayn’s heart began to speed up – was Liam talking about- was he really- what had he been-

“Me?” he squeaked. Liam sighed, turned to Tom. 

“See? Didn’t even notice I’ve been courting him. Took me a week to figure out when he was courting me, but no, our Zayn has to think of things in his own sweet time,” he said. Zayn’s mind reeled. What? 

“Good luck, Liam. You know where to find me if you want someone to fuck you while you’re waiting for him. My dick would be so good to your little hole, make you scream loud enough to wake the clan and let them all know that old Tom was giving you his seed. Just tell me when and I’d be happy to plug you up good and proper,” he said, rubbing his crotch lecherously. Liam sighed again. 

“Goodbye Tom,” he said wearily. The old pervert took the hint at last and began to shamble off down the road. Liam turned back to Zayn, looking- nervous?

“Really?” Zayn asked stupidly. Liam rolled his eyes and look at him fondly. 

“Who else? Think, Zayn. Who else have I been spending time with? Who else have I been finding presents for? Who else have I been trying to kiss, trying to take? Who else am I sharing a bed with each night and waking with breakfast each morning?” he asked, looking very much like he would like to shake him, but was resisting because Zayn was already injured. 

Thoughts flashed at Zayn of the past few months. Liam inviting Zayn to spend time with him and Sawda, and being so angry when he stopped coming. Liam being around constantly, asking Zayn if there was anything he wanted, anything he needed. Liam finding things for him, lovely little treasures – a new set of arm bands with a metal strip inside to act as a shield, sweet meats that he made himself with soft lomen meat, fresh fruit and berries that found his way to Zayn cut into segments, the pearl from yesterday. So many other small gestures. 

“I thought it was because I was injured?” he said, feeling strange – something that was not aided by Liam leaning in to kiss him again in a closed mouth peck.

“Have I given Niall such attention? He was badly injured as well,” Liam asked, pulling away. Zayn struggled to think of the last few days. Had he?

“I don’t know,” he said. He couldn’t imagine Liam carrying off with Niall, but that was mainly because Niall was usually trying to convince Demi to court him, and he hadn’t seen any adoring gazes between the two. Liam huffed.

“Well I haven’t. I promise that you are the only one I’ve been courting this way,” Liam said. Zayn frowned, thinking. 

“You said that you noticed within a week when I tried courting you. How come you didn’t say anything?” he asked. Liam looked a bit shamefaced at the remark. 

“I, eh, wasn’t sure that I wanted you. I knew I thought you were handsome long before. That’s pretty hard to deny. But I didn’t know if I wanted more from you, not really,” he said, clearly trying to be gentle in his delivery. Zayn flinched away despite his efforts, and Liam’s eyes widened. “Zayn- please! That was months ago. I want. I want different things now. I want you,” he said, looking worried. 

And Zayn said exactly what he could not forget but for weeks of trying.

“You told me you weren’t sure if you could fall in love with me. Or ever want a mate to be joined to.” He did not say it in an accusatory way, but just as an honest relaying of facts. “And you told me to respect that. And I have been,” he said, looking directly at Liam who had frozen with his arm tight around Zayn’s shoulder. He did not look to be breathing. 

“What are you saying?” he asked.

“I am saying that I respect your wishes, but I’m not sure that you’re respecting mine. I want a mate, Liam. And you still haven’t told me that you can see yourself as mine,” he said. Liam closed his eyes, jaw clenching. “I don’t want to force you into anything, but I don’t know what to do with your attentions either. If you really want to court me, you have to realize that it symbolizes a certain intent to me and my clan.” 

They stood quietly for a moment, and then Liam began to move them haltingly towards the newly erected tents. Eleanor waved at them, hair tied back in a braid and a smudge of something down her arm. Maybe today he would get to help make cushions or something else for the insides of the tents. When they arrived at the construction area, Liam helped him sit down gently, crouching before him to help him become situated. Liam pushed Zayn’s hair from his brow and then moved his hand down to cup Zayn’s face. He tried not to look away. 

“I am courting you because I want to. I don’t know what else to do to prove to you that I care for you,” he said. “I’m going to keep courting you because I like to, and you can take that however you want. I want to be with you. I’m sorry if you find that disrespectful of your wishes, but I’m not going to stop taking care of you. The thought of someone else doing that for you – dressing you and undressing you, holding you, even just feeding you – it makes me angry just thinking of it. And there’s no need when Lily and I can take better care of you than anyone else,” he said with that familiar little frown between his eyebrows that Zayn struggled not to kiss. 

“And if they were to undress me the way that you did last night?” Zayn asked, expression sly to hide the way his mind repeated Liam's 'I want to be with you' over and over again. Liam’s frown became more prominent and he gripped Zayn more tightly. 

“I only want you doing that with me. When you’re ready to do so, and you trust me, or course. But no, I do not want other people to hear the way you gasp when you are touched. That is for me,” he said. Zayn raised an eyebrow but Liam just looked back at him, stubborn. 

“I thought we were supposed to respect each other’s choices to be with other people. If you get to fuck old Tom, then surely I get to fuck- mmphf!” Liam ended that train of thought by shifting his hand to cover Zayn’s mouth. 

“I changed my mind. You are the only one I want to take to my bed,” he said, looking at Zayn in that way that made his heat jump. “I am going to convince you that you can take a chance with me. I don't want to hurt you, I just want us to be together, on my terms and on yours.” He darted in to kiss Zayn again, and Zayn let him euphoric from the words that Liam was saying, from the feeling that mayhap they could be something together after all, that maybe Liam was hearing him and wanted him as his the way that Zayn dreamed of having Liam. His eyes slipping shut, wanting it to be real, wanting Liam to be sure. Liam’s hand found its way into his hair and combed it away from his ear, mouth coaxing Zayn to open his lips and let him inside. Unable to resist, he parted his mouth, and that warm tongue that he could not forget for weeks of trying began to reacquaint itself with his. 

“Looking good, Zayner!” a voice yelled – loud and far too close.

Right. He was not in his tent or in his mind, fantasizing far away from here. He was on the main path shortly after daybreak. It front of most of his tribe. 

Eyes wide, he pushed at Liam’s shoulders, the awful hot feeling of a blush curling into his cheeks and face and everywhere. Coming back to himself, Liam pulled back, smiling a little at Zayn’s hot face. 

“Nice technique, man. Wasn’t sure you had it in you,” someone said to his right. He turned in the direction of the voice and found Louis looking far too chipper. Beyond his shoulder, Ashton and Mikey were trying not to stare too obviously, and Eleanor was clearly hiding a laugh behind her hand. Some of his other clansmen were either politely trying to pretend they were not listening, or outright gawking like Mikey and Ashton. Zayn moaned, though not in pleasure this time. 

“That’s some big talk from such a, what’s the word? Dainty? From such a _dainty_ person as yourself. Can’t remember hearing anything spectacular about your kisses,” Liam said, scratching his head as he stood to look at Louis. Louis gaped at him, and then hooted in pleasure. 

“Oh Zayn. This one never stops being fun,” he said, still cackling. 

“You’re supposed to be nice. I’m injured,” Zayn said. In the distance, Jana was looking at him, taking a break from the careful inspection she was giving Luke’s arm. He tried not to notice the disapproving way she looked at him. 

And he was especially trying not to notice the way she angrily mouthed “no fucking” at him with a vivid hand motion. 

“Come on Louis, time to work. You’ll have time to pester Zayn later,” Eleanor said, coming to Zayn’s rescue. She tugged at Louis’ arm. Unwilling to let go of his prize, Louis resisted, pouting. 

“But I just-“ he said, looking stubborn. 

“Let’s go. I might even let you work on your technique later if you're good,” she interrupted calmly. His face changed in an instant to pleasure. 

“Really?” he said, grinning. She nodded. He turned to walk back and then stopped, frowning. 

“What’s wrong with my technique?” he asked, looking put out. She laughed. 

“Nothing some practice won’t fix,” she said, pitilessly. His frown deepened. 

“What’s wrong with my technique?” he asked again, insistent. She shook her head, leading him away. He followed her grumpily. “You never had any complaints before.”

“Oh hush. Practice will be fun, I promise,” she said. He said something in response that made her laugh, but Zayn couldn’t catch it, and then they were off and talking to Mikey and Ashton and the others, getting supplies sorted.

“I’ll get you something to do,” Liam said, catching his attention once more. 

“Thanks,” he said, nodding. Liam smiled at him again, and turned to join the others. Zayn watched him go, trying to empty his mind and think clearly. It was difficult to do, the taste of Liam still on his tongue and the tingle on his lips that spoke of recent kissing. He wanted to kiss Liam again, he wanted to believe him. But he also wanted to have some tangible proof - _something_ that showed that Liam would not be leaving him as he had left so many others before. 

Before long, he had something else to occupy his mind as someone dropped rug fibers in a pile next to his lap. He took them eagerly and began the process of braiding them together, enjoying the simple task. 

As he had the day before, Liam checked in on him often. It grated still, though not as sharply as the day before, and Zayn found himself smiling back at Liam, enjoying watching his friends move about and bicker and laugh as they moved things around. 

It came as a surprise upon one glance upward that Liam was missing. 

He looked all about, craning his neck this way and that, before Eleanor finally caught sight of his wriggling and came over. 

“Looking for Liam?” she asked, not sounding accusing or even gleeful as Louis might have, just concerned. He nodded. 

“Didn’t see him leave. Is he alright?” he asked. She nodded. 

“Oh yes. Just stepped out for a moment. Said he needed to get something. And that it was nearly time for lunch and he wanted to make you something warm,” she said. Zayn bit his lip. 

“He said that?” he asked. She nodded. 

“Yes. Seemed to think you liked warm lunches better,” she said with a shrug. He looked down, plucking at his shirt to hide his smile. He _did_ like warm lunches better. He wouldn’t think that Liam would notice, or care enough to alter his menu though. It felt nice, to be noticed so. 

“Oh,” he said. He heard her snort and he looked up to see her smiling at him. “What?” 

“Oh nothing,” she said. “Just wondering when you were going to notice that you have a giant love-bite on your neck.” Zayn startled, slapping a hand to his neck. He had forgotten about it completely – he had meant to cover it somehow, to avoid, well, to avoid this exact scenario. “Looks like he ravished you good and proper. Not messing about, that one,” she said, looking pleased with herself. Zayn tugged up his collar uselessly, making her laugh. He could only be thankful that the pearl had slipped below his shirt, giving her one less thing to comment on. 

“Oh stop, that’s not going to do anything. And besides, it looks like someone spent a good amount of time and effort of making it stand out in such a way, it’d be a pity to cover it up,” she said, reaching down to give it a poke that made him flinch back. 

“Stop! Everyone’s going to notice at this point,” he said, flapping his hand at her to quiet her. She gave him an unimpressed look. 

“Oh Zayn. I’m pretty sure I could see that thing from Etho. You’re just lucky that I spared you from letting Louis come over and say his piece, though I can’t say how long that will last, knowing Louis,” she said, voice fond. 

“My thanks,” he said dryly. She smirked. 

“No problem,” she said. Her eyes alighted on something behind him and her smile softened. “I better get back to work. Those fences won’t build themselves, you know.” She backed away and joined Louis, who was also looking over Zayn’s shoulder with a strange expression. Zayn frowned and tried to twist and see, only to feel an unhappy twinge that made him grimace. 

Well. If there was some monster behind him, even Louis was not a good enough actor to pretend otherwise just to tease him. He resigned himself for the wait, neck prickling in anticipation of something coming. He heard footsteps and tensed, inanely reaching for the place where his long dagger usually lay sheathed by his side even though he had not worn it for weeks. Some things were not forgotten easily. 

Louis was looking at him, biting his lip. He clearly wanted to spill the beans and shout his welcome, but he also seemed to enjoy the suspense, the bastard. Zayn was so distracted by his necessary scowling at his friend that he jumped with a shout when something soft and damp brushed against the back of his neck. His side burned at the movement, but then the strange object puffed a hot whoosh of air against the hairs of his neck. It was- breathing? 

“Someone wanted to see you. And since she’s been so good lately during her practice runs through camp, I decided to treat her by letting her visit,” Liam said, coming around to smile down at Zayn. 

And in his right hands were reins. Reins attached to his beautiful crazy girl. 

“Sawda,” he said, voice tight. 

His eyes drank her in. He remembered a quick glimpse of her during that fight by the lake, so sure then that he would have time to see her again, not knowing that it would be long days and hours and many many minutes before he could see her dark hide, her curious eyes, her lean legs. Gods but he had missed her. Liam faded into nonexistence beside her as she dipped her head again to lip at his shirt, checking him over and searching for treats in the same breath. 

She looked good – strong and healthy, unaffected by the siege of the clan. He brought his hands up to cup her nose, feeling the stiff whiskers that protruded out of the satiny skin and hair of her face. She allowed him, only making a soft noise in question when he pressed his face into hers, feeling the embarrassing itch of tears behind his eyes. Eventually though, she pulled from him and began to search him once more for tasty things. He let her, stroking her hair back from her face and along her neck, reveling in the live heat of her. 

“I’m sorry,” he heard Liam say. Zayn looked up in surprise, forgetting briefly that his eyes must be awfully bright. Liam returned his look, eyes sad. 

“What for? This is the best gift you’ve given me so far. When have you been working with her to ready her for the walk through camp?” he asked. Sawda picked up her head at last and shifted her feet. She had her partner and her Liam, and she did not see why they were wasting so much time sitting in the sand when they could be _running_. He smiled at her, echoing the sentiment in his mind. He couldn’t wait to run with her again, to watch the miles fade away beneath her long strides. 

“I should have brought her up sooner. I’ve been training her while you slept. It helped to distract me from how scared- from how you were still so unwell. She’s been ready for a week, but I thought it would be an unkindness for you to see her when you could not do all that you like to,” Liam said, looking apologetic. Zayn frowned and Sawda, as if she understood, made a move to nip at Liam’s fingers. He jerked away with a sharp reprimand that made her pin her ears for a moment and then look away, seeming to lose interest. 

“That was stupid,” Zayn said, eyes on Sawda, watching her watch Ashton and Mikey as they painted fence line with a sticky seal that would prevent the wood from rotting. Mikey was pantomiming something that was making Ashton laugh, whole body shaking with the force of his hysterics. 

He was not so distracted, however, that he missed Liam’s wince. He might have felt bad for his bluntness if he had not felt so very justified. 

“Yes, I suppose it was,” Liam said, toe scuffing the hard sand beneath his feet. Zayn tried to be unmoved despite the posture, and despite the cowlick of hair that was standing at the top of Liam’s head at an odd angle, as if he had run his hands through it distractedly. 

“You should have asked me what I wanted,” Zayn asked, words hearkening back to several fateful conversations between them. Liam darted a look up at him from his perusal of the ground and tried a smile. 

“Seems like an ongoing problem I have,” he said. They may have stared at each other for some time yet if a yelp hadn’t startled them from their perusals. Sawda danced uneasily as Liam and Zayn looked behind her quickly to find Ashton looking quite unhappy and covered in the glistening glaze that they had been using. Mikey looked torn between sheepish and amused, the later emotion clearly winning. He said something to Ashton that Zayn did not catch, but he did hear Ashton’s virulent cursing that followed it. Zayn could not help but smile. 

“Always running into trouble, that one. A few years ago he was convinced that he was going to be an acrobat in Sevarre and took to tumbling around and climbing trees,” he said, eyes still on them as Louis and Eleanor marched over to the pair and began to sort them out, Louis laughing and Eleanor shaking her head. 

“Yeah?” Liam asked, eyes on Zayn despite the scene behind him. Zayn glanced up at him with a half smile before becoming distracted again by the shouts of his friends as Ashton shook himself vigorously to dispel some of his sticky coating. He shook his head – bunch of children, the lot of them. 

“Yeah. Only stopped when a tumble broke his arm and his mother told him off good and proper. Well. That and Luke cried like a babe when Ashton told him of his intent to leave and make him feel guilty,” Zayn said, remembering the scene, Luke’s wet face and Ashton’s look of dawning comprehension. 

“I thought Luke was with the other one, the dark-haired boy. The one that made the, ah,” he trailed off, looking embarrassed. Zayn smiled, but not meanly. 

“The one that made the rejected claim?” he asked, something inside of him pleased when Liam nodded, face reddening. 

“Yes,” he answered shortly, not looking at Zayn. Zayn ducked his head to hide his grin. 

“He is with Calum, or I think he is anyways. Ashton and Luke are like brothers, and at that age he was really the only friend that Luke had. He was orbiting Mikey and Calum, but he wasn’t friends with them yet, he just had Ashton,” he said. Jana had moved on from Luke and he flexed his arm tenderly, wincing. Calum appeared instantly beside him from behind a tent, a half finished dagger in his hand and his face red and sweaty from the hot work of forging. Calum reached for Luke’s arm and his friend pulled back, scowling at the attention in a way that Zayn was familiar with. 

He looked up at Liam and found him talking to Sawda softly, telling her how smart and strong and fast she was. He stroked her firmly along the neck, pausing to scratch at her withers in the way she liked. 

“You’re going to make her like you more than me if you keep that up,” he said to Liam, only half-joking. Liam smiled down at him and continued to scratch at her neck as she stilled under the attention, lips pushed out in pleasure. 

“Who says she doesn’t already?” Liam asked cheekily. 

“Oi!” Zayn said, mock-offended. His traitorous horse leaned harder into Liam’s hand, his strong fingers finding all of the places that vexed her. “I thought you were supposed to be taking care of me, not belittling my spirit.” 

“I’m supposed to lie to you when I take care of you?” Liam asked, face serious though his eyes laughed. Zayn huffed. 

“Yes,” he said. Liam nodded, brow furrowed. 

“Alright then. I do want to know the best way to take care of you. After all, I plan on doing it for a long time,” he said easily, as if commenting on Sawda’s bad habits instead of telling Zayn things that made his heart quiver. Zayn coughed and looked away from where Liam was looking at him. 

“O-oh?” Zayn said, plucking at the rug fibers that lay in his lap. Liam hummed. 

“Yes. Lily and I had a talk about it. We decided you need a caretaker so you don’t run into knives again or other stupid things,” he said, turning from the memory with a grimace and scratching Sawda harder – to her immediate head-bobbing pleasure. Zayn’s felt his chest warm. 

He looked away, feeling overcome, and found that Louis had led Ashton away, presumably to get cleaned up or to plot revenge, and Eleanor was helping Mikey with the remaining fence line. From the stiff way that he was moving under Eleanor’s sharp eye it was clear that he had been given a lurid explanation of what would happen if she were to “accidentally” find herself covered in glaze. Luke was stubbornly painting something by his feet, while Calum tried to get a better look at his injured arm without looking like he was doing so. Luke appeared to be muttering to himself, so it was clear that Calum’s intentions had not gone unnoticed. 

“He should just kiss him,” Liam said, startling Zayn out of his distracted perusal of his friends. His mind still traveled along the imagined conversation between Liam and Lily about his presence in their lives. Who should kiss who now? 

“What?” he asked, looking up. Liam nodded at Luke and Calum. Zayn followed his look, surprised. He didn’t think that Liam had noticed where his eyes had wandered. 

“Those two. Calum should just kiss him, distract him from being annoyed at his injury or from thinking too much,” he said. Zayn lifted an eyebrow. 

“Speaking from personal experience, are we?” he asked. Liam laughed. 

“Am I that transparent?” he asked. He had stopped scratching Sawda and she sighed next to them, deeply bored. 

“Yes,” Zayn said. Liam laughed some more. 

“Fine, I’ll admit, I have several reasons for putting my mouth to yours,” he said, looking sly. Zayn tensed, knowing the curve of that mouth, knowing that something dangerous was going to follow that statement. 

“Fine. But what about-” he started, trying to head him off. Liam spoke over him, determined to finish. 

“But don’t think that is the only reason, clansman. I kiss you because I want you, and I enjoy the way you taste and the heat of your mouth. And because I hope that one day I will kiss you and you will return it without wondering if I am kissing you goodbye each time,” he said. He started his pronouncement loudly, but finished with a soft voice. Zayn stared at him, mouth dry. 

What did one say to _that_? 

“I, uh-“ he stammered, unsure how to proceed. Luckily, his noble beast saved him from having to think of something in that moment. 

“Ouch, you goddamn mule!” Liam exclaimed, whipping his hand away from Sawda’s nipping teeth. He shook it by his side angrily, glaring at the affronted face of his four-legged companion. Sawda looked at Zayn in confusion and he found himself laughing at the pair of them despite his jumbled emotions. 

“Hey now, don’t call my beautiful girl a mule just because you weren’t paying attention,” Zayn scolded, still laughing. Liam rolled his eyes with a frown, positioning himself away from biting range. 

“Sure, sure. Blame me for not paying attention when I was busy spilling my heart to you, that’s nice Zayn. Really nice,” he scoffed, bringing his injured hand to his mouth to suck on it, giving Sawda an annoyed look that she failed to notice. Zayn felt his face flush at Liam’s words, and his laughter choked off suddenly. 

“Um,” he said. Liam looked over at him, face gentling. 

“Easy now, don’t worry yourself. Sometimes I say things to you because I want to have you hear them, not because I want something in return,” he said, smiling a little. 

“Oh,” Zayn said, unused to the idea. 

“Besides,” Liam said and, oh, but there was than smirking twist of his lips again, “I like telling you that I love your mouth and that I think you’re handsome. I like the way that you flush with color when I tell you those things, oh feared warrior, felled by the idea that I find you pleasing to the eye and a good companion,” he said. As if called into action by its announcement, a hot blush swept over his features. Liam laughed. “There it is. That lovely flush. I do like it more when you’re wearing all of your leathers and your dagger, but it suits you well always. Even in those soft cotton clothes that make you appear no more frightening than a young foal, I still enjoy it,” he said, eyes following its extent on his face. 

“You’re awful,” Zayn said petulantly, hands covering his cheeks as he pretended he could seep away the heat with his fingers. 

“Awful? No, not I. If I was awful I would tell you that my favorite blush of yours happened after I put my mouth to your hip as I undressed you last night,” Liam said, looking obnoxiously smug. Zayn felt his face grow impossibly warmer. 

“Awful,” Zayn insisted. Liam, the ass, laughed at him, and then stopped abruptly as Sawda made another pass at his fingers. 

“Alright, alright. I’ll stop flirting with your master and bring you back to your friends,” Liam said, turning his attention to her as she snorted. Zayn, for his part, reveled at the word “flirting” and was almost grateful that his previous blush hid the one that would surely form at the term. 

He turned back to Zayn, smiling at him again. “I’ll be back in a moment. I’ll bring her our tomorrow so you can see her again, and each day after until you can see her yourself,” he added. Zayn nodded, throat feeling tight at the gesture despite the lingering encompassing embarrassment. 

“Thank you,” he said, hoping his eyes conveyed how much he meant it. 

“Of course. And I’ll bring you a hot lunch on my way back and we can eat together before we return to work,” he said. Zayn nodded his approval. 

“That sounds great,” Zayn said, and Liam turned and left him sitting with his rug fibers. 

It did sound great too, and his stomach felt empty. But that did not mean that he was not still healing, or that the sun was not warm and the fibers not soft in his hands, and before he knew it he was being woken by calloused fingers brushing against his face. 

“Go ‘way. Sleeping,” he muttered, feeling comfortable. 

“Wake up.” Zayn squinted his eyes open. That was Liam’s voice. But what was Liam doing in his tent? He opened his eyes further and found not his tent but bright sunshine and the sound of metal being worked and people talking to themselves. He sat up, Liam quick to help him support himself as always. 

“There we are,” Liam said, eyes fond. Zayn, already wishing for more sleep, looked at him grouchily. 

“What?” he said, smoothing a hand over his face. 

“I have lunch,” he said, gesturing behind him to a series of tins. As if seeing them made them real, at once Zayn’s nose caught their delicious scent and his mouth began to water. Liam began to lift each of the lids and scoop food onto two plates, handing Zayn one when he finished and keeping the second for himself. 

“Thanks,” Zayn said, breaking his break to scoop up the stew. Liam nodded his welcome, lifting food to his mouth as well. They ate in silence for a moment. Zayn tried not to look too self-satisfied when Louis shot him piteous looks that screamed for a taste. 

“I, ah, bumped into your mother on my way. She looks well,” Liam said, bringing slice of dried fruit to his lips and taking a bite. 

“Oh?” Zayn said, focused on his meal. 

“Yes. We talked for a moment. She told me that there was going to be a feast in a two weeks to celebrate the rebuilding of camp and the departure of the emissary to Sevarre,” Liam said, eyes on his meal. 

“Mmm hmm,” Zayn said. Liam had put junes in the stew, the fruit making it taste slightly sweet and tangy in a way Zayn loved. Gods but Liam was a good cook. 

“You knew then? About the feast?” Liam asked, sounding odd. Zayn swallowed, reaching for the flagon of water that Liam had brought with the food. Liam handed it to him quickly and he took a long swallow before capping it and offering it to Liam, who shook his head and pushed it aside. Zayn set it on the ground beside him with a shrug, turning back to his meal and trying to find more junes among the meat and vegetables. 

“Where did you find the junes?” Zayn asked, finding a piece of fruit under a golden slice of itola. He scooped it into his mouth with a grin, pleased as a cat in cream. Liam looked impatient for some reason, but it did not affect Zayn’s sudden good mood. 

“Fiora found them when I took her and Sawda along the lake a ways. But Zayn, how long have you known about the feast?” he asked again. Zayn shrugged a shoulder, taking another flat piece of bread from the tin nearest to him and using it to scoop up more of the food on his plate. He took a mouthful as he thought. 

“She told me back when she decided to hold the meeting in Sevarre, so a couple weeks ago, I think?” he said, swallowing. “Liam, this is the best stew I’ve ever had. But don’t tell Harry or he might be upset,” he said with a wink. Liam stared at him, still looking odd. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked. Zayn looked up at his tone. He sounded so unlike himself, as if he was mad or something. Liam ducked his gaze, but Zayn could see frown lines on his brow, and he took a moment to assess. Had he said something wrong? 

“I didn’t think it was important?” Zayn said, feeling slow. He looked down at his plate and his hand, still holding the bread. He wiped the last of the stew up with his bread and brought it to his mouth. Liam was still avoiding his eyes and he chewed thoughtfully, replaying the conversation in his mind. When the bread was gone and Zayn set his plate aside to take another drink, Liam looked at him again, that strange look still on his face – a weird mix of shyness and irritation on his features. 

“So you. You aren’t planning. You’ll make no-“ Liam bit off, looking uncomfortable. Zayn stared at him, uncomprehending. 

“I’ll make no what?” he asked. 

But then, suddenly, he did know. He didn’t need to hear Liam’s mumble beside him to know. 

Liam wanted to know if he was planning on making a claim. 

Gods be damned. 

He surprised himself – and Liam – by laughing. 

“No,” Zayn said, still smiling, looking into Liam’s eyes. “I’ll not be making a claim this time, rest assured I understand how you feel about it now. Learned my lesson last time, you see. Wouldn’t want to break my promise to my mother with any nonsense at this feast,” he said. 

And it didn’t hurt to say it. Liam and he were whatever they were, but they were working past that awful memory. Liam forgave him for being impulsive, and he was working to forgive Liam for hurting him then. He felt light and free, unencumbered. 

But it did not look as though Liam felt the same. His eyes had slipped shut at Zayn’s pronouncement and his mouth was a tight line. He opened his eyes at Zayn’s questioning hum, but they may as well have stayed shut for the blankness he saw there. Liam gave a sharp little laugh that made Zayn’s chest hurt. What was wrong now? 

“Right. Of course. Why would you, Gods. Why would you do that again when I. Who would,” Liam said nonsensically, rising to a crouch and collecting the dishes. 

“What did I say?” Zayn asked, feeling wrong-footed. Liam shook his head, looking away. 

“Nothing, nothing. I’m being stupid, forgive me,” he said, shoulders a stiff unhappy line. 

“Of course,” Zayn said slowly, wishing he knew what was wrong. He thought that it would make Liam happy to know that he did not need to fear an embarrassing declaration next feast. 

“I’m going to wash these and then I’ll be back to take you ho- to take you back to the tent,” he said, fidgeting. 

“Okay,” Zayn said, more confused with each passing moment. Liam nodded to himself more than to Zayn and then left, hands fisted at his sides. Zayn watched him, feeling stumped. 

What had that been all about? 

When Liam came back to collect him later, he still had an unhappy pull to his mouth, but his eyes on Zayn were soft. He pulled Zayn to his feet gently, yelling something to one of the other villagers to have them take care of the finished rugs and the remaining fibers. Wrapping his arm around Zayn’s waist, he pulled Zayn along gently, making sure not to jar his side. Zayn leaned into him, enjoying the solid line of him. 

Soon enough, they were back at the tent. Zayn tried not to show how much the short walk had tired him, and insisted on relieving himself of his own power. He leaned against a fencepost behind Liam’s tent to perform the task, and then tucked himself back into his pants, feeling proud at the small accomplishment. 

Liam took him back into the tent and lay him down on the furs, despite his protests that he wasn’t really that sleepy, he just had a nap, thanks. Liam did not listen, as per usual, and instead efficiently divulged Zayn of his cotton outer clothing and his boots. When Zayn was bare but for his loincloth, Liam looked down at him, tracing a hand across his chest and down his uninjured side before creeping to cover the bandages that Zayn still wore over his healing wound. 

The soft pressure of Liam’s hand over his cut made it tingle unpleasantly, and he made a noise of protest. Liam withdrew his hand quickly with an apologetic look. 

“Sorry. I just wanted it to look like you were whole again,” he said, still looking at the contrast of white against his skin. 

“Soon. Jana said the bandages can come off tomorrow, and then I’ll have to be patient, but I will heal and be well again,” he said, feeling his own impatience at his injury fade in the face of Liam’s. 

“I know,” Liam said. He brought his hand back to Zayn’s chest and stroked downwards, stopping at his hip where just this morning he had placed his mouth. Not looking at Zayn, he passed his hand over the strap on his hip, and then slid it up and under the band, trapping his palm between Zayn’s loincloth and upper thigh. Zayn held his breath and Liam looked up at him, fingers stroking the ridge of his hip. 

“You’re beautiful,” Liam said so seriously that Zayn had to look away. He had been told that he was handsome before, and often by lovers, but Liam made it feel so much more intimate. 

“Thank you,” he said after a pause, remembering their conversation from earlier. 

Liam smiled at him and pulled his hand back, hesitating a moment before slipping out of his clothes until he too was bare but for his loincloth. He climbed onto the furs next to Zayn and wrapped a careful arm around his chest. 

“This okay?” he asked. 

“Yeah,” Zayn said, lifting an arm around Liam’s back. A few days ago even he might have insisted on sleeping alone, but things felt different now. Not any safer, but more solid somehow. He would miss this if Liam left him, but he was starting to believe that was something he needn’t worry about. Especially not with other worrying things on the horizon – slavers and battles and the meeting at Sevarre among them. He and Liam were he and Liam – they knew where they stood with each other. 

He would let Liam court him, if only because it would be too difficult to persuade him not to, stubborn man. And he did enjoy the attention, the stolen kisses and touches and gifts and the strong arm around his waist or the warm line of a back against his chest when he woke up from his resting. He would try not to worry too much about where it was going – he had said his piece, and if Liam was to be believed, he understood that and planned to stay to see it through. 

“Goodnight,” Zayn said. 

“Goodnight, clansman,” Liam said, echoing the sentiment. 

Settling in, he tried to sleep. Minutes later though, he was still awake and wondering why. It seemed that something was nagging at him. Something that felt faraway with Liam so near and warm, breathing sweetly into Zayn’s neck. 

“Aren’t you supposed to be working? You usually work while I nap,” he asked, wondering if that was what was bothering him. But that didn’t feel quite right. 

“Probably, but I’m comfortable now. I’ll go back once I wake up. They’ll understand,” he said, sounding drowsy. 

Understand. 

Why was that word so familiar? What did he not understand earlier? He pushed his brain to think, to wonder at it. 

“Stop thinking so loud. You’re tired – fell asleep in the sun like a young one at your task today,” Liam said grumpily, snuggling himself into Zayn’s side like he belonged there, like it was his right. 

“I didn’t mean to,” he said, still searching for that word, that _thing_ that itched at him. 

“That’s nonsense,” Liam said. 

Nonsense. Like his mother said that future feasts would be without it. 

The feast. He couldn’t understand why Liam acted so strangely about the feast. That was it! 

“Liam?” he asked, putting his hand over Liam’s on his chest. 

“Mmm?” Liam said, face nuzzling into his neck distractingly, mouth open and breathing wet hot air onto the place where his neck met his shoulders. 

"Why were you so mad about the feast?” he asked, eyelids closing. Behind him, Liam bit his neck in punishment for continuing to talk, and maybe for the subject as well. 

“I wasn’t, not really. Well, okay, I was. But I’m mad at myself, not at you,” Liam said, kissing Zayn softly where he had bit him in apology. 

“Why?” he asked. 

“You’re as bad as Lily with your questions,” Liam said huffily. Zayn waited him out, and he sighed. “Fine. I was mad at myself for expecting something from you that I had no right to ask for or hope for.” Liam’s hand snaked out to pinch at his nipple, making him flinch in surprise. “Happy now?” 

“Yes, thank you,” Zayn said piously. Though he wasn’t, not completely. He was tired, but not so much that he didn’t notice his question was being evaded. 

Something absurd occurred to him then, and made him smile, eyes still closed. 

“Liam, you’re acting as if you _want_ me to make a claim for you again!” he said jokingly. Liam choked behind him, and Zayn’s smile broadened. Trust Liam to see the humor in that. As if he would want Zayn to demand a bond of courtship between them when he clearly wanted no such thing and only wanted Zayn to accept his boundaries. 

“Gods above but you cut me to the quick,” Liam said, sounding far too serious. He must be too tired to carry on with the joke. Zayn would leave him be. 

There would be plenty of time to ask him on feast day. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and for your hits/comments/kudos - it really makes my day! I have no idea when the next chapter will be up - I've been digging away at it every night, but sometimes I only get a sentence in before it is time to be asleep :). So I hope this chapter makes sense!
> 
> Sorry for the complete absence of Lily. She'll be around in the next one for sure. And no I don't know why all my chapters lately end with Zayn falling asleep, ha. 
> 
> Thanks again xoxox


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is finished! Well, sort of. This is the last real chapter, and then there's going to be a shorter epilogue. And with my luck, shorter probably means like 15 pages instead of 30. 
> 
> This chapter is the longest ever, but I didn't want to split it into two after making you all wait so long. Thank you for being patient with me!
> 
> Also, for triggers in this chapter, if you have phobias about water, this is one that you might want to read carefully. And there's a little underage in here too, but no serious relationships. 
> 
> But so excited to be done with the long haul - I hope you like it :). I'm procrastinating hard core, so thank that for the final update here...

The last two weeks had been good. 

Zayn almost felt guilty for thinking it, given the devastation that his clan had faced and the lack of loved ones in many homes. There was a different alignment of tents than Zayn remembered from his childhood, and gaps in the crowd of people that wandered about the camp at their tasks. He had not yet been to a feast day since his injury and he was sure that the tightness of the circle tonight would make his chest ache. 

And he would be sad to see more of his clansmen go to their council in Sevarre to talk about the slavers and find a proper solution for their encroachment and poaching of people outside of the West. He wanted to be among them, had pleaded his case to his mother and father and Jana time and time again. But they had all looked at him stone-faced and refused, too wary of his injury to let him join their party.

But all the same, he could not help but think it. 

They _had_ been good. 

His wound, after so much careful attention, was finally showing signs that he would be an able man once more in the near future. He no longer needed a helping hand or shoulder to lever himself upright, or to put on his clothes. And, thank the Mother herself, he was finally able to piss without needing assistance. 

He had not yet graduated to his leathers, as they were too tight and uncomfortable on his wound, but he had hope that one day he might not be swathed only in cotton like a priest or an old man. And with leathers would come riding, Jana’s permission or no. He missed the feel of his horse working with him, eager as he was to jump or run or run _fast_. 

Though he still tired too easily for his liking, he had also finally limped his way down to the lake to visit her, his beautiful girl. Sawda. 

She was happy to see him, coming over to him as soon as he cleared the line of trees surrounding the lake. She had whickered at him, curious, and nosed at him in an her usual unabashed search for treats in his pockets. He scratched at her withers and looked at her eyes and nose as she investigated, appreciated the long line of her and the new layer of muscle that continued to develop under her skin. A none-too-gentle push from that velvet nose caught him off guard and made him hiss in pain, and she had pulled back, ears swiveling to look at him curiously. But that had been the only misstep in the endeavor. 

Well, that and Liam stomping down to the lake to curse at him violently for wandering off without telling anyone where he was going. 

Zayn smiled in memory, recalling the angry expression on Liam’s face that mixed with the relief at finding him, as if he had been a child separated from his mother at a festival in town. Liam had gestured furiously at him, giving a stern lecture about how injured persons have to recognize that they are not as strong as they think they are. 

Zayn had nodded along in all the right places; he knew when he left that he was inviting trouble by sneaking off. Eventually Liam had trailed off into unhappy grumbling and had refused to leave until Zayn was finished. Zayn had allowed it then, but he also had no intention of being away from his girl again, regardless of how tired the trek had made him. He carefully did not mention that part to Liam. 

Later that night, Liam had played dirty and had told Lily what Zayn had done. Her sad face had made him cringe guiltily, promising retribution on Liam who smirked at him from across the tent. 

But it did not make him feel so guilty that would stay away. He was there now, lying on his back and staring into the blue sky, occasionally turning his head to look at the horses. Sawda was being a pest today, teasing the colts and fillies. She was going to get bitten by an annoyed dam in a moment if she did not quit her antics. 

He wondered how long he had before Liam realized he had snuck away again. The thought made him bite his lip against a grin, feeling both mischievous and a little bad for making him worry. Liam worried like it was his profession, and it was a little mean of Zayn to toy with him so. 

Especially given that it was partly a credit to Liam that the past two weeks were so wonderful. 

Since that night and their conversation two weeks ago, Zayn had allowed Liam and Lily to sleep next to him at night, and not just because he was too exhausted to fight about it, giving up the pretention of distance between them. Lily had taken to the arrangement nicely, giving Zayn a kiss on the cheek for good dreams once they were all aligned together. Liam had not kissed him that night, clearly unwilling to make a misstep that would cause Zayn to change his mind. But his sleeping body was unaware of such rules, and they awoke each morning in a jumbled pile of limbs. 

Liam had not kissed him that night, no, and not a day afterward either. He undressed Zayn carefully when needed, as always, but he did not linger or tease. He seemed to be moving slowly around Zayn, following the directions that Zayn had demanded. 

And Zayn might have believed that he had given up altogether on Zayn and his high thoughts of how people should be with each other, were it not for the gifts. 

It was almost irritating how much better Liam was at the whole courting thing than Zayn had been. 

Maybe it was just because Zayn knew that he was being courted, but Zayn had the sinking suspicion that Liam was just more talented in that area. Whatever the reason, Liam always managed to find things that Zayn had been thinking of or craving, and found ways to incorporate their time together throughout each day. The pearl might still be his favorite though. His fingers reached to stroke it lightly, enjoying the way it always felt cool, just like the water that it hearkened from. 

The noise of thrashing branches startled him and he sat up, hair askew and pieces of grass likely sticking here and there as he looked in the direction of the interloper. 

It was Lily. She crashed through the last line of trees and out towards the water before looking all around and catching sight of him. She smiled at him and darted towards him when he smiled back.

“Zayn!” she shouted happily as she slid to a stop beside him. She sat facing him, leaning in quickly to wrap her arms gently around him in a hug, face pressed into his chest. He returned the gesture, feeling light at the easy display of love. Now this was an emotion that he understood, something much simpler than what he and Liam were doing to each other. 

She pulled back after a few moments and smiled again. She looked so happy here. It was hard to remember the scared little girl screaming at the sound of the feast horns, or even the worried girl out on the dock watching the last line of villagers fight to the death in front of her for her protection. She was sound of mind and body, growing smarter and growing taller every day. 

He felt like even more of an old man beside her than usual, feeling feeble from his long hours resting and healing and wasting his muscles. He probably looked pale and drawn, and he knew that he had lost weight. Liam must have talked to her about being gentle, for she never requested piggy-back rides or jumped on him unexpectedly, the way she did with Niall before his injury when she was feeling silly. One day he could run around with her or help Liam teach her to ride, but that day was still a little too far off on the horizon. 

“Zayn! Niall told me to come find you,” she said. 

“Oh? And how did you know where I was?” he asked. She straightened, clearly pleased with herself. 

“I just remembered that this is where you went last time and I figured you would want to see Sawda again and the other horses,” she said. He brushed a hand over her head with a grin.

“You are a clever girl, aren’t you love. Sussed me out good and proper,” he said. She hummed, wriggling. It was clear that she was sitting on some other important information, but that the secret was too good to spill all at once. He played along. “What does Niall want with me? Did he figure out that I stole the last of his sweet-meats stash?” She laughed, shaking her head. 

“No, not that. He said to tell you that Liam is having ‘a right fit because he can’t find you again’,” she said, trying to imitate Niall’s way of talking. 

“Is he?” Zayn asked innocently, imagining the scene. Liam, as usual, was a bit too quick. He’d only been ‘missing’ for a couple of hours at most and Liam had already noticed, mothering bastard, Zayn thought fondly. 

“Mmm hmm. Niall, Zayn he- he lied! He lied and told Liam that you were meeting with your mom to try and give you time to come back before Liam realized that you were by yourself again,” she said, words spewing forth eagerly. He raised his eyebrows appreciatively. 

“He did, did he? He’s not going to be very happy when Liam finds out that he lied,” he said. She shook her head, already familiar with Liam’s habits. 

“I think he thinks that Liam won’t know,” she explained. He frowned and stroked at his chin. 

“Ah, is that how it is? And what do you think the likelihood of that is, young Lily?” he said, beginning to smile again. 

“Probably not good,” Liam said from behind them. Zayn just about jumped out of his skin, even though he’d been expecting the other man for ages. Lily jumped too, on her feet in an instant and looking repentant. Zayn looked back at Liam, forcing the guilty expression from his face. 

Liam, for his part, was not taking any effort to hide his annoyed expression, his wonderful arm muscles tense where they were crossed over his chest. 

“Hello Liam,” Zayn said. Lily echoed the greeting next to him, voice subdued. Her hands began to play with her hair, eyes absorbed with the task. 

“Hello Zayn, fancy seeing you here,” Liam said, arms uncrossing as he advanced towards Zayn the rest of the way. Zayn began to heft himself to his feet, careful not to hurry so as not to twinge anything uncomfortably. It would certainly not help his case if his knees buckled from a sudden starburst of pain in his side. 

“Let me-“ Liam started, a hand falling under his shoulder to help. Zayn brushed him away.

“I can do it,” he said, not meanly. If he was ever going to be back at full health, he needed to stretch and try and move on his own when he could. Then again, he thought as Liam’s hand dropped away, now might be the time to let himself be babied if the mirage of helplessness let him escape the lecture that he could see brewing behind Liam’s furrowed brows. 

At his feet at last, he looked into Liam’s eyes. Liam was clearly angry, especially given the repeat offense, and Zayn estimated that he had about a quarter of a second to think of something brilliant to distract him. 

“Um,” he said. That certainly wasn’t it. Liam looked from Zayn to Lily and opened his mouth to start something that Zayn would pretend to listen to, and then suddenly Zayn had it, the life-saving idea. 

“Liam. Would you and Lily teach me how to swim?” he asked. He only regretted the words a little, the usual clawing fear of being immersed in water beating anxiously in his mind. It was easy not to regret when Liam’s face immediately shifted from anger to surprise and confusion. 

And no little suspicion. His courtee turned courter was no dummy, unfortunately.

“What? You hate-“ he started. Luckily for Zayn, Lily was more than happy to pick up the gauntlet. 

“Really Zayn? You’ll learn? And you’ll let me and Liam teach you? This will be so much fun!” Lily said, snapping out of her shame and into excitement. She grabbed his hand and began to tug at him, trying to get him closer to the water as if he could jump in with all his clothes just then. 

“I had other plans for the day,” Liam said, looking between them again. Drat. Had he caught on to the ruse? Or did he really have something waiting for him up at camp?

“Oh but Liam!” Lily said loudly, dragging out the syllables of his name. 

“Please, Liam? I think it would feel good on my side to be in the water, and it would be good to get some exercise that isn’t quite so exhausting,” Zayn said, spinning his tale as quickly as any storyteller at Sevarre. But like all good stories, it was tinted with truth. He had thought about asking Liam to teach him before. He’d seen Liam dart through the water like a fish when playing with Lily or swimming to the docks. Watching him, he had always been torn between admiration and envy. It was time to remedy that. 

And, if it saved him from a tongue-lashing fit to compete with one of his mother’s, all the more reason for it. 

“Exhausting, hmm? Like ‘walking down to the lake by yourself’ exhausting? Or like ‘walking through camp on a goose chase’ exhausting?” Liam asked. Zayn tried not to wince outwardly. So maybe all was not forgotten. 

“Well, about that-“ 

“Why are you still talking when we could be swimming?” Lily said from beside him. Looking over at her, he found that she had peeled off her over-clothes and boots and was dancing from foot to foot in anticipation. 

“I think she’s got a fair point, don’t you?” he asked Liam, grinning ear to ear. Liam shook his head, beginning to become amused but unwilling to show it. 

“You-“

“Help me with this?” Zayn asked, gripping the hem of his shirt and lifting it as far as he dared. Undressing while sitting was one thing. Undressing while standing was a whole different beast. No one wanted to fall while half-undressed and have to manage the labyrinth of shirtsleeves and limbs while also fighting sand and gravity. 

Liam breathed out, a long push of air. His eyes promised retribution. Zayn smirked. 

Beside them, Lily lost patience and ran into the water, splashing and dancing around happily. Zayn glanced over at her, but back quickly at Liam when he felt hands on his sides. In front of him, Liam was not looking at his face, but at his scar. 

His bandages had been off for nearly two weeks, but it still felt strange to look down and seen skin, if damaged skin, instead of a swathe of white. The scar was pink and healing on the outside, but still an ugly thing. 

“My shirt, Liam?” he asked. His voice seemed to shake Liam out of his thoughts and he looked up, giving Zayn an apologetic smile. 

“Sorry,” he said, offering no explanation. Not that one was needed. It served as a reminder of many things for Zayn. He could imagine it had similar power over Liam. 

Liam slid his hands up along Zayn’s chest until they touched Zayn’s shirt. There, they gripped the cotton tightly and helped Zayn pull it over his head without losing his balance or hurting himself. Liam folded the shirt carefully, before dropping it on a flat rock nearby. He stripped himself of his leathers and underclothes quickly, folding each item and putting them aside before standing in front of Zayn again. 

“Now don’t get excited,” Liam said, before kneeling in front of Zayn to untie his pants and pull them to the ground. Zayn spluttered, and tried to do exactly that, thinking instead of sad and gross things to will away any encroaching ‘excitement’. Liam looked up at him when his pants were successfully crumpled around his ankles, a spark of mischief in his face that told Zayn he knew exactly what effect his position was having on Zayn’s mental state. 

“Beast,” Zayn said petulantly. Liam laughed. 

“None of that. Don’t think I don’t realize that you’re getting away with murder here,” Liam said archly. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Zayn said, grabbing ahold of Liam’s shoulder with his right hand to make sure he did not trip as he stepped out of his pants. Once they were freed, Liam took his fallen pants in hand and rocked up onto his heels. He stood up slowly, taking the opportunity to get a close look at Zayn’s scar and to rub his thumb over the puckered tissue gently. Zayn shivered, unused to the touch on his sensitive skin, and Liam pulled back and up, not meeting Zayn’s eyes. He shook out the garment roughly and folded it before placing it with the others. 

“That looks well,” Liam said, looking behind Zayn at Lily. It sounded like she was climbing onto the dock and jumping off, making a game of it. Zayn brought his hand to the scar, covering it with his palm, before looking towards the water as well and finding that Lily was exactly where he expected – mid-leap over the water, excited expression all over her face before she met with water and was gone from view. Her head poked up some feet away, making her look like the furry olechin that swam in the northern sea. 

“You see it every night,” Zayn said, still watching the girl. 

“And every night it gets better. It is nice to see it outside in the light, and not just by whatever filters into the tent from the sun or from a lantern,” he said. Zayn looked over and met Liam’s eyes, watching Zayn. Zayn’s scar was not the only thing looking well. Liam looked as strong and healthy as ever, the lean line of him almost to gorgeous to look at in the direct sunlight. And those eyes. It was hard to remember a time that he had thought those eyes to be capable of hiding what their owner thought or believed. 

Zayn wanted to kiss him, standing there unashamed of his almost nakedness as always, his slaver’s mark a faint line leading under his arm that Zayn could only pick out due to his long familiarity. He could kiss Liam now, he supposed. He had accepted Liam’s courting, or failed to stop it in any case, and that could be that. They could be friends or lovers that kissed. 

Sensing something, Liam stepped forward, leaning towards him.

“Zayn? Do you-” he said, stopping when Zayn turned his face back towards the water. 

“We should probably get started if we’re going to make the feast tonight,” Zayn said, stepping into the water and relishing the slight shock of cold. 

He could not initiate a kiss with Liam. Or rather, he would not. Even when it felt right, something held him back each time. Behind him, Liam took a deep breath, and stepped forward alongside him. 

“Sure you’re ready for this?” Liam asked him seriously. Zayn wondered if he was talking about swimming at all. 

“If you are,” Zayn said, not sure if he was either. 

Zayn saw Liam nod from the corner of his eye, and then Liam’s hand was sliding into his. Zayn liked the feeling of their hands together. Liam’s hands were warm and sure in his, roughened by work and by life. Liam shuffled his feet until he stood across from Zayn, and then took up his other hand. 

“Are we dancing then?” Zayn asked him. Liam pursed his lips. 

“Don’t be a twat,” he said, taking a step back and forcing Zayn to follow. The water was up to his shins now, still within the range he used for his bathing. Not yet frightening. 

“M’sorry. I’m just nervo-“

“If we were dancing, you would know,” Liam said with quiet certainty.

He took another three steps back. Zayn followed, water now at his knees and tickling unpleasantly. 

“Oh?” Zayn asked, enjoying the distraction as he followed Liam further into the lake. A quick look over Liam’s shoulder found Lily laying on the dock, inspecting some finds from her dives below. 

“Definitely,” Liam said, stepping back again until the water was up to their waists. “Do you need a demonstration?” he asked. And without waiting for an answer, he stepped into Zayn’s space and pulled Zayn’s arms behind him, placing Zayn’s hands at the small of his back. He slung his right arm around Zayn’s shoulders and his left at Zayn’s waist. It happened quickly, and Zayn stumbled a little as limbs were situated and Liam steadied him with the arm at his waist. He pushed at Zayn’s side and neck in some rhythm, making him sway until Zayn took the hint and moved himself, allowing Liam to focus on moving his own body in time with Zayn’s. 

“Now we’re dancing,” Liam said. Zayn smiled. 

“I don’t know if this would pass for dancing at feast day. I know you owe me a dance by the fire, but if this is what you’re offering I might have to take back my request,” Zayn said, shaking his head. Liam rose his brows. 

“Oh really? You’ve had better, have you?” A quick look behind his shoulder showed Lily still occupied with her treasures, paying them little mind. Turning frontwards again, Liam rolled his hips in a dirty little move that made Zayn choke. Liam smirked. 

“Where did you learn _that_?” Zayn mustered, trying not to step back in cowardice. 

“Dani, of course. Needed a partner to do certain moves,” he said. He seemed to realize the implications a beat after Zayn, and looked up at Zayn again with a scowl. “Not the moves you’re thinking of. Just dance, I promise,” he said. He did a cute little shimmy of his shoulders, making Zayn laugh. 

“I’m sure. And you, um, you don’t need to explain anything to me, Liam,” he said, feeling foolish. He wasn’t sure what they were exactly, but he wasn’t Liam’s lover or his mate. He certainly had no call over how Liam had spent his time, inasmuch as Liam had call over his. 

Liam, for his part, huffed at him. 

“Right. Because you never take lack of explanation as an excuse to hatch crazy theories,” he said knowingly. Zayn winced, caught out. 

“Sorry,” he said, stopping his movements and looking down. Liam stopped too and, catching his face, he sighed. 

“It’s okay. I shouldn’t have said that. You just make me lose my mind,” Liam said. He gathered Zayn closer, as if worried that he’d peel away and sprint into the trees. 

“I suppose it’s only fair,” Zayn said slowly. 

“Why’s that?” said Liam.

“Because you’ve been making me lose my mind for months too. It’s a little more bearable if we’re both afflicted,” he said. Liam laughed, eyes crinkling at the corners. 

“So it is,” he said, before darting forward to press a quick kiss to Zayn’s mouth before pulling away almost immediately after contact, looking upset. 

“Shit, I’m sorry. Shit shit,” he said, pulling further away until only his hands were touching Zayn where they held his wrists. Zayn watched him fret, confused. 

“What is it?” he asked. 

“I can’t believe I kissed you. It’s just so natural to lean over and- I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that,” Liam said. Zayn frowned, perplexed. 

“You’ve kissed me plenty of times before. And I thought we decided that I was um, that you were, well, courting me? So it was probably okay?” Zayn said, hating how unsure he sounded. Liam was shaking his head, making Zayn nervous. Had he misunderstood? Liam had seemed so clear in what he wanted, though. What was going on?

“I know, I know. I was just trying to be different, because I want us to be different. I thought I’d finally get my head sorted and do what you’ve been asking me to and go slowly,” he said, looking annoyed at himself. Zayn, on the other hand, felt himself begin to glow with warmth. He took a slow breath in, enjoying it. 

“Well,” he said after a moment, “I guess we’d better start my lessons so you stay on track, hmm?” Zayn said softly. Liam looked up at him and smiled just as soft. 

“Right. Let’s get started,” he said. He let go of Zayn’s arms for a moment and cupped water into his hands to splash his face and comb his hair back. It was getting longer up top, though he kept the sides of his head closely cropped. Long enough that it fell distractingly into his eyes on occasion.

Liam took up his hands again and gave them a squeeze. 

“You sure about this?” he asked again. Zayn thought about it, brain still pleasantly mushy from Liam’s announcement. He thought about the cold rush of water in Etho, the way that it had felt dulling his shouts and rushing into his airways. 

“Whoa now, easy,” Liam said, looking at where he held Zayn’s hands. Zayn looked also, and was embarrassed to find that they were shaking. He tried to pull them away, but Liam held tight. “We’ll go slow. No matter what you say, I know this wasn’t something you planned on doing today, and if you want to stop at any time there’s no shame in it. And,” he said, speaking louder when Zayn moved to open his mouth, “I’m not babying you, no matter what you say. I know what it’s like to be afraid, Zayn.” Zayn’s teeth clicked together as he shut his mouth. 

What did one say to that?

He looked at Liam, eyes tugging to the slaver’s mark under his armpit, more visible with Liam’s arms held forward. From there, his gaze flicked down to where he could see the scarred curl of a lashing given long ago and hidden mostly on Liam’s back. And lastly, they settled on the small stellate scar on his shoulder from the slaver’s arrow. 

If Liam could face slavers for the rest of his life, in one way or another, than Zayn could handle lake water that he had lived around for years. 

Looking Liam in the eye, he nodded. Liam still looked concerned, but he only nodded back in return before giving Zayn a long look.

“So that’s what you meant,” he said. Zayn squinted at him in confusion. What he had meant when?

“What?”

“When you told me before that you almost always want to kiss me, but that sometimes it lays closer to the surface than others. I thought I understood that before, and in the past couple weeks especially. But I think I feel it best now,” Liam said, eyes dropping to his mouth and then back to his eyes. Before Zayn could respond, with what, he had no idea, Liam continued. “Alright then. First lesson is floating.”

“What do you- Liam!” he said, flustered. 

“No time to talk. Now is the time to float,” Liam said urgently, eyes twinkling. 

“You-”

“Lily-girl! You ready to teach Zayn how to float like a cloud on the water?” he called over his shoulder. Lily turned from her collection of suspiciously slimy-looking items and scrambled to her feet. 

“You guys are done playing?” she asked. 

“Yes. We’re ready to start learning,” Liam said. Lily smiled and took a running dive off of the dock and swam over to them in a couple quick strokes, popping up beside Zayn excitedly. 

“Floating is easy Zayn! And not scary at all. When Liam taught me how he had his hands under me in case I sank, but I didn’t! And you won’t either. Liam won’t let you drown because then we would miss you,” she said logically. Liam nodded. 

“Alright then, love. What’s my first step?” Zayn asked her. 

“Well, when I float I just lean back in the water like this and let it catch me,” she said, and did just that, smiling up at the sky. 

“To start, I’m going to stand here and put my hands on your neck and back,” Liam said, standing to face Zayn’s shoulder and placing his hands. “And now you’re going to lean back into my hands until you’re in the water. I’ll move my hands as we lean until I’ve got one arm under your back and the other under your legs.” 

Zayn nodded at him, and looked to Lily, still floating admirably. Taking a breath and closing his eyes, he put his weight on Liam’s hands, letting Liam control his gradual descent into the water until he could feel the cool line of it against his back. 

He was in. 

His heartbeat began to pick up at the feel of it, the encompassing touch of it everywhere. Unyielding. 

He could feel his heart beat as if it were moving directly under his skin. Ba-dup, ba-dap, ba-dup-ba-dup-ba-dup-

“Relax clansman. I have you. I don’t plan on letting go until you’re ready. Can you feel my hands holding you?” Liam said, interrupting his thoughts. 

He _could_ feel Liam. His hands were warm against Zayn’s skin, even in the water. Just as they had felt strong in his hands earlier, Liam’s hands felt strong again, holding him in place and keeping him from drifting away. 

“I feel your hands,” he said, part dutiful student responding to a query, part awed observer. He felt _safe_. Safe in the water for the first time in years. He felt the water around him, but it was not closing in on him anymore. Liam had him.

“Good. I’ve got you. Just relax,” Liam said, voice even and calm. Zayn did as he was told and tried to relax, concentrating on the feel of those hands holding him. He trusted Liam, and he focused on that trust. 

And so it went for the next half hour, taking things slow and moving his arms or legs in different ways. Lily enjoyed showing him what Liam was asking each time, but eventually got bored and moved onto other pursuits such as practicing her diving and looking for creatures. 

He heard her splashing, and thought nothing of it, feeling the water help Liam to support his weight. But then, Lily dove in a little too close or with a little too much enthusiasm, and a small wave formed and crested over his face, making him splutter and move his head to the side for a clear breath in. But he was too submerged and that breath contained water. 

He choked, panic beginning to rise, and flailed, struggling against Liam’s hands in order to get his feet under him. 

“Zayn! You’re okay!” he heard Liam shout, but he wasn’t there anymore. He was in Etho, and the water was so cold and strong and pulling him away. He struggled harder, coughing against the phantom feel of water in his lungs. 

He pushed at Liam hard, making Liam let go in surprise. He swung his feet below to find purchase, and instead found slippery silt and lost his footing. They were deeper than when they started, almost up to his neck if he could stand, but he couldn’t stand, could he? Couldn’t get a fucking grip on anything in the water and he was going down again and oh, the water was over him again and why couldn’t he make himself stand? Hands pulled at him and he fought them off, fought off their deadly pull.

He got his feet under himself and pushed, breaking the surface, and then bobbed under again, the struggle having pushed him to deeper water than he could stand. He felt himself begin the slide under again, and shouted. And then it slid past his neck to his chin and he was going to die in water after all wasn’t he? Going to die in his home with water in his lungs in the Mother-blasted desert. 

Hands gripped him under his armpits and yanked, pulling him back onto a chest. He thrashed, and the person gripping him grunted. 

“Stop that. You’ll kill us both if you keep moving. Be still Zayn. I have you. I _have you_ ,” Liam was saying, talking sternly in his ear. Zayn froze, heart charging, wanting to be away, wanting to fight but trusting that voice, letting his muscles be still if taut. 

They were moving towards the shore, his panicked mind realizing at last. They were getting out. He began to struggle again, wanting to run out of the water and away. A hard pinch at his side made him flinch and a hand caught at his. 

“Zayn!” Liam yelled. Zayn winced away from the noise and looked down at his hand with Liam’s wrapped around it. Liam was holding him so tightly that his knuckles were white. It should hurt, but Zayn could barely feel it. He couldn’t feet anything but his heartbeat shaking his chest, his lungs panting in air desperately, as if they had been concerned that they would never taste it again. 

Liam was talking again, telling Zayn that he was doing well, that they were almost out, that he was safe. Zayn just watched that hand on his wrist, kept his eyes there until Liam was hauling him up and they were standing waist deep in the water and Liam was turning him around and taking him into his arms and holding him tight, so tight, like Zayn was going to disappear as much as he felt like he might. Like he might shake apart. 

For he was shaking. Shaking in a way that he could not stop. Not even with his feet planted on the ground and his head well above the water. 

His arms were limp at his sides as Liam held him, head buried in Zayn’s neck and arms tense as they held him across the back and waist. He closed his eyes. 

“T-take m-me out,” he said, voice trembling with the shaking of his body. Liam nodded against his shoulder, and took a shuddering breath of his own before pulling back to look at Zayn. 

He was scared, Zayn realized. Terribly so. 

Liam’s face was pale beneath his tan and pinched. He was breathing quickly too, though that may have been the exercise. But the way he was clenching and unclenching his fists? That was fear. 

One of those hands took ahold of his, and the other wrapped around his shoulders, as if he was an invalid or an old man. And he was sort of an invalid, he thought distantly. His side, quieted by the adrenaline burst from his panic attack, made its presence known as they began to stumble-walk towards the shore. It had not appreciated all of the flailing and twisting. 

On the shore, waiting for them, Lily was crying. Eyes red and puffy, she looked scared and sad and worried as she watched them come in. Little body shivering in from cold or nerves. 

The sight of her, more than anything else, made Zayn calm himself at last. He let himself feel the arm around him, the firm grip on his hand. He was safe. He was safe, and at camp and not at Etho and not a child. 

And then they were out of the water, Liam pulling him well out of its reach and setting him down on the warm sand. Zayn curled his hands in the sand instantly, relishing the warmth of it, the dryness. As he did so, he noticed that his hands were still shaking. He could not make them stop. 

Liam dropped to his knees in front of Zayn and crawled up his body until he straddled his waist and sat on his thighs. Reaching forward, he pulled Zayn towards him, head once again on his shoulder. Slowly Zayn lifted his arms to encircle Liam’s back. 

When he made contact, he thought that his shaking had gotten worse, but it had not. 

It was Liam who was shaking. 

“It’s alright, Liam,” he said. His voice was rough from coughing and yelling. Liam laughed wetly, snuffling his nose against Zayn’s throat. 

“You didn’t see how- No. You don’t get to tell me that when you-”

“Zayn, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, please don’t be mad. I didn’t mean to,” Lily said from close by. He looked up and found her standing next to them, body hitching with repressed tears. He reached an arm away from Liam and towards her. She took a step closer and stopped, looking even more distressed. 

“Are you mad? Zayn, I’m so sorry I splashed you and made you scared. It’s my fault,” she said, sounding miserable. She began to cry again. 

“Come here, love,” he said, beckoning. She ran the few steps to him and Liam and collided forcefully into them, arms going around Zayn as he winced in pain and tried to hide the motion, his arm pulling her close to their huddle. Liam separated his own arm from Zayn’s neck and put it around her as well. 

“It’s not your fault, sweetheart. I know you weren’t trying to hurt me. If you were trying to scare me, I might be mad, but I know that you weren’t,” he said, trying to sound soothing with his broken voice. She hiccupped and shook her head. 

“I wouldn’t, I promise. But you must be mad, Zayn. I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” she said again. 

The terrible part was that she was right. He wanted to be mad. A small sneaky part of his primitive hindbrain told him that she had exposed him to his fright, that she had humiliated him. What had she been thinking, jumping so close? Had she been thinking at all? Or had she done it on purpose, to be daring, to be mischievous?

She hiccupped again, and he shoved that part of his subconscious far away. Lily would no more hurt him than she would hurt Liam. It was not in her nature. 

“Shhh,” he said, hushing her. 

“And my- my necklace! It’s not working. It’s not keeping you safe, it’s getting you into more trouble instead,” she said. He startled a little out of his post-fright daze. The thought had not even occurred to him. 

“Lily, sweetheart, it doesn’t work like that,” Liam said, withdrawing from Zayn just a little to look at her.

“Sure it does,” Zayn said, making Liam turn quickly to look at him, shocked, and causing Lily to jerk back with a miserable expression. He re-evaluated quickly. 

“What-?” Liam started.

“That’s not what I meant. Sorry, that came out wrong. I just meant that I think your necklace is doing its job very well,” he said, talking over Liam and stroking his hand down the scars on Liam’s back to ease the tension that had yet to fade. 

“What do you mean?” Lily asked, clearly confused and yet hopeful all the same as she waited for the reprieve from her guilt. 

“I mean, it kept me safe while I was out on my trip – I did not encounter any bad people. And then when I was stabbed, well, that could have been much worse. I could have been killed, but here I am with you two. And today, I could have dro- I could have,” his voice dried up around the word, unwilling to face it so casually quite yet. “Well. It could have gone very differently. But I’m sitting here with two of my favorite people, and I still have my silly horse who is probably watching us and wondering what we are doing,” he finished. 

She looked thoughtful, and a little skeptical. Years with Liam all over her face. 

“You think so?” she asked seriously. He nodded. 

“I do,” he said, finding that he did, at least in a way. While not one for superstition, he did believe that good hopes went a long way. Before he could reassure her further, a breeze passed through, making him shiver for a different reason then fright. Bumps raised along his arms in a moment and he realized suddenly that he was freezing. The last of his adrenaline must have worn off. 

His teeth started to chatter and Liam looked at him appraisingly before starting to rub his hands down Zayn’s arms. He wasn’t so cold yet that the contact hurt, but it wasn’t altogether pleasant either. 

“M’fine, Liam. Stop that,” he said. Liam ignored him as he usually did when Zayn made a statement that he thought was unimportant. 

“Lily, can you run up and get some furs from the tent and bring them down? If you bump into Zayn’s sisters or Harry or Louis or Eleanor you can ask them for a hand. But try and be quick okay? I think Zayn’s feeling a little cold,” he said. Lily’s face took on a businesslike manner, and she nodded, looking at Zayn who was trying to do his best impression of someone who was not hypothermic. 

“I’ll be right back I promise!” she said, running off on her mission. 

“Shouldn’t have sent her off, Liam. She was upset,” Zayn complained, looking at Liam. Liam’s jaw set as he continued at his task of rubbing along Zayn’s arms and back. 

“Don’t start that. She’ll be much happier with a job than with standing by, and you need to be warm,” Liam said brusquely. 

“Lily needs a job? Are you sure you’re not talking about yourself?” Zayn asked, watching Liam’s hands work his skin until it became red. Liam ignored him again, the increased force of his movements the only indication that he had heard. 

Zayn let it go for the moment, let himself focus on the warmth seeping into his legs from the warm sand, let himself wonder why he felt so cold between the sand and with Liam’s hot body to warm him. 

And wonder what Liam was doing exactly, rubbing so hard that it felt like his skin might peel away. He winced at the image and caught Liam’s wrists in his own. 

“Liam,” he said. Liam pulled against him, making a frustrated noise. 

“Just let me-” he said, avoiding Zayn’s eyes. 

“Liam,” he said louder. Liam pulled harder, trying to free himself despite the constraints of their position. 

“Zayn, let go, let me finish,” he said. 

“Liam!” he said loudly, making Liam still at last and look up at him belligerently. 

“What?” he said, looking away again. 

“What is wrong with you?” Zayn asked. Just a moment ago everything was fine, and now Liam was trying to rub him to death,

And not in any sort of sexual capacity, alas. 

Liam turned to him again, flexing his hands in Zayn’s grip. 

“What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with _me_? A moment ago I thought I was losing you and you thought you were drowning and now you’re fine and giving Lily platitudes while you shiver to pieces on the shore. Why aren’t you angry? Or more upset?” Liam said, voice rising. Zayn sat back, confused.

Where was all of this coming from? 

“Do you want me to have a breakdown right now?” he asked slowly. 

“Yes! I mean, no! I mean, I don’t know. I just want to know what you’re feeling and I don’t believe for a second that you’re alright,” Liam said. 

“Liam. I’m not alright,” he said, looking Liam in the eye. Liam scoffed.

“You don’t need to make fun,” he said, mulishly. 

“By the Twins but you are the most stubborn man I’ve ever met,” Zayn said wonderingly. “Not everything I do is for your benefit or your consideration, you get me? I’m not alright, I’m terrified, but it won’t do me or you or Lily any good to let myself fall into that. It happened and now we’re moving on,” he said, releasing Liam’s hands with a push. Liam frowned, then sighed, and then lifted his hands to Zayn’s face. For the sake of the impending argument, Zayn tried to still his shivering lest it make Liam start in on him again. 

“You are far too good at getting yourself in trouble, clansman,” Liam said, looking grim. But now it was Zayn’s turn to roll his eyes. He brushed Liam’s hands away and ignored the look that followed. 

“Liam. I am not a farmer. I am a warrior. And, even if I was a farmer, you’ve proven that farmers can get into their fair share of trouble,” Zayn said, pushing Liam further back and off his legs so that he could arrange himself more comfortably. 

“I’m not a farmer,” Liam muttered. Zayn gave him another push, one that landed him on his back. Mindful of his body’s latest stress and healing injury, he climbed over Liam carefully, setting his ass on Liam’s stomach and his hands on his shoulders. Liam looked up at him grumpily and he wanted to smile but he did not. It was important that Liam understood this. 

“I travel, Liam, and I meet people all the time that want to do me harm. I hunt beasts that would definitely kill me if the chance arose. I ride a horse that has a propensity for throwing me into things – a quality you once thought was hilarious, I might add,” he said, seeing if Liam would smile. He looked away from Zayn – a sure sign that he wanted to. Zayn bit the inside of his cheek against a smirk. 

“What’s your point?” Liam asked. 

“My point is that I’m going to get in trouble and I’m going to get hurt. If I lost my mind for hours after every problem I’ve had, I would have no time for anything else. You know this. You’ve been with raiders before, however unwillingly. So I’m thinking that this can’t be the only thing going on in your mind,” Zayn concluded. He watched Liam freeze at the accusation. 

Gotcha. 

“It’s nothing,” Liam said. He raised his arms to place his hands distractingly on Zayn’s thighs and tap out a rhythm with his fingers while still looking away. Zayn doubted very much that it was nothing. 

“You can either tell me now or I can weasel it out of you later. And if you make me wait, I’m going to be annoyed,” Zayn said, matter-of-factly. Liam looked up at him to gauge if he was serious and then sighed, seeing that it was. 

“Fine, you bastard,” he said, and then paused as he thought. 

“You know, I’m pretty sure that something should follow that part in your explanation,” Zayn said as the silence stretched on. Liam rubbed his hands further up Zayn’s thighs in retaliation, resting them invitingly on his hips. Zayn tried not to notice too much, and when that failed, he tried to pretend that he did not notice too much. “Well?” he asked. 

Liam was looking at his hands on Zayn’s hips, and not at his face. His eyes then traced upwards and found his scar. They stayed there as he began to talk. 

“It just seems that you’ve fallen into more trouble than is even befitting to a warrior. It seems that you’ve found more of it since, well, since you’ve met me,” Liam said to Zayn’s scar. It was just as well that he couldn’t see Zayn’s face for Zayn had no control over the expression there. 

“What exactly are you saying?” he asked. Liam sighed, eyes flicking up and then down again. 

“I’m saying that I’m bad luck, Zayn. And I’m bringing you down with me,” he said. Zayn stared at him. 

“Two years before I met you, I was kidnapped off of a raid by a neighboring tribe. I was held for a week before my mother found me and took me back. She was most displeased that they felt the need to break one of my fingers for each day that they were not paid ransom,” he said quietly. Liam’s head flipped to look at him, eyes wide. 

“What are you-“ 

“You, shut up. I’m talking,” he said sternly. Liam’s mouth clapped shut. “Good. As I was saying, when she found me and took me back, she made most certain that they would not repeat their mistakes,” he said meaningfully. 

“When I was twelve, Louis dared me to try and jump from my horse to his. I broke my arm and Doniya broke his nose. When I was eight, and we were looking for some priestess with my mother, we were set upon on the road and they stole the carriage – not knowing, I presume, that me and Doniya were in it. My father is good with a bow and they did not get far with us, but I know well what might have happened if they had. 

“When I was sixteen, I jumped from a waterfall that was a little shallower than I anticipated and cracked my head open. Made Louis cry, if you can believe it. Harry had to be the one to run and get my mother. 

“When I was fourteen, I decided to take my horse into an area where the rowak cats like to den on the very far side of the lake. I did not find any cats, but she caught scent of them and threw me, busting my ribs good and proper and making me walk back when she took off. 

“I have met more bandits on the road then I care to think of, and I have fought to claim villagers for my clan. I have fought my friends and my teachers as I learned to become a warrior. I have fallen off of my horse or been thrown countless times, and I have done a million other clumsy or reckless things besides. 

“You are not the sole owner of inconvenience or misfortune. I am a raider, Liam. I have been hurt, and I daresay it will happen again. And even if you were somehow leaking bad luck into my life, well, I’d probably still choose to be with you. 

“I love you, you stupid fuck. I think this idea of yours is crazy, but on the small chance that it’s not and your bad luck _is_ catching, well, I would still want to be with you,” he said. 

“You still love me?” Liam asked. 

Gods above, of all things to question or pick at in that long speech. 

“Told you I did, didn’t I?” Zayn said, wanting to feel shy at the pronouncement, but too worked up and exhausted to care at the moment. 

“I wasn’t sure you still did. Not after everything. And you said that you, well, that you weren’t going to. Um. At the feast, you weren’t,” he trailed off, mumbling. 

“That I wouldn’t make a claim?” he asked, surprised they were back to this. He remembered how strange Liam had been when they’d talked of it last time. Never did figure out what was bugging him. Below him, Liam nodded curtly. 

“Yes, that.”

“My feelings haven’t changed. I don’t understand why you’re upset-“ he started, not really sure when or where he lost track of what they were fighting about, or if they were fighting at all. 

“Thank fuck,” Liam said, rising quickly into a seated position and kissing him, interrupting his thought process entirely. His mouth was warm and wet and just as spectacular as Zayn remembered from weeks ago. Zayn kissed him back, frustration and confusion pouring into the kiss, trying to express with his mouth what Liam kept failing to understand when he said it with words. 

Giving his common sense and inhibitions a mental parting wave, he pushed Liam gently but firmly onto his back in the sand, kissing him all the while. Which was, of course, when he heard the cough behind him.

“Ahem,” someone said to his right. He pulled away from Liam quickly, sitting back on his haunches. Louis stood there, holding a pile of furs and trying to look stern. Harry, behind him, was losing the battle with amusement entirely and was clearly hiding his laughter behind one hand. 

“What’re you doing here? Zayn asked dumbly. Below him, Liam took ahold of his hips and helped to lever him to the side before scrambling up quickly and offering Zayn a hand so he could do the same. Louis looked affronted. 

“What am _I_ doing here? You sent your little girl up to find help, and when help arrives, you ask what it’s doing there,” he griped. 

“Where’s Lily?” Liam asked. 

“Now see there? That’s a far less stupid question. You should take note, Zayn,” Louis said, nodding approvingly at Liam. 

“Just answer the question, you ass,” Zayn said. Harry, meanwhile, had finally controlled himself and took some of the furs from Louis and began to drape them over Zayn’s shoulders. As if on cue, Zayn began to shiver again.

“Not that it looks like you need them Zayn, what with your _other_ methods of warming up, but we might as well use them, eh?” Harry said, with a remarkably dirty smile. Before Zayn could retaliate, Louis was talking. He listened, clutching the furs to himself with as much quiet dignity as he could muster. 

“She’s up at camp. Niall’s watching over her. Worked herself into a right fit, so he volunteered to distract her while we made sure that you weren’t actually in mortal peril. Looks like we should have taken our time in our daring rescue,” Louis said. Zayn felt a pang at guilt for losing track of time. He should have been more aware of Lily. He wasn’t a teenager anymore, distracted from everything and everyone by a hot body under his. Even if that body was Liam’s…

“Sorry to worry you,” he said, looking around for his clothes. Liam saw him look and wandered back to retrieve them, acknowledging Zayn’s unspoken request with a quick squeeze of his elbow. Louis and Harry took in the exchange with equal looks of delight and curiosity. Zayn shook his head at them warningly – not that it ever did him any good try and hold them off. 

“So. Was it the near-death experience that made you two decide to act like raunchy teenagers-“ Louis began, fulfilling Zayn’s suspicion of imminent foul play.

“Or do you just act like raunchy teenagers all the time?” Harry finished, smirking. 

“You’re one to talk, Louis. Don’t forget that I’ve caught you with Eleanor enough times that I almost feel like we’re all in a relationship together-“

“You only have to ask, sweetheart,” Louis cut in, winking at him. Zayn shuddered in distaste. 

“In your best dreams. And Harry! What about when I found you and whatshername fucking in broad daylight when we were on that raid near Quibai?” 

“Easy now, Zayner. I think lovemaking is a beautiful thing. Nothing to be ashamed of. Especially her. Tanya or Taylor or Tacia or something like that. Her legs went on for _ever_ ,” Harry said shamelessly, smiling fondly in remembrance.

“She tried to kill you! Several times! And she broke your nose,” Zayn said, spluttering. Only Harry could remember that woman with anything other than a wince. 

“Pretty sure she had her reasons,” Louis said, butting in. Harry mock-swung at him, and he dodged to the side, laughing. 

Liam, returning fully clothed, offered Zayn his clothes. Zayn hesitated in taking them, knowing he wouldn’t be able lift his arms or bend far enough to dress himself. It was taking all of his remaining energy – and all of the stubbornness his mother gifted him with – to keep standing. Understanding Zayn’s dilemma, he nodded, tucking Zayn’s clothes beneath his armpit and sliding Harry’s carefully arranged furs off of his shoulders. 

Then, with practiced ease, Liam tugged Zayn into his clothes and then wrapped an arm around his waist for support. Zayn leaned into the support gratefully. 

And then promptly wished he had not when he saw the twin calculating looks on his friends’ faces. 

“Nice try distracting us from the main issue, Zayn. Very clever,” Harry said, nodding approvingly at Zayn’s futile efforts to forgo the impending embarrassment. 

“But I’m afraid you still haven’t answered the question. Are you two fucking, then?” Louis asked bluntly, grinning like someone had given him his very own mountain of colat. Liam stiffened next to him, and Zayn shut his eyes to try and will the world away. And maybe will Harry and Louis into a latrine somewhere. 

“If you’re asking because you’re interested, Louis, I’m afraid that short men never were my type,” Liam said casually, though the tense arm around Zayn’s waist spoke of anything but. Louis, of all things, pouted. 

“But I’m everyone’s type! Tell him, Harry. Tell him everyone wants me,” Louis said, turning to his friend. 

“He’s everyone’s type,” Harry said obediently. 

“See? No use spreading lies and falsehoods when I have Harry around to set things to rights,” Louis said cheerily. 

“Oh? And how would he know? Are the two of _you_ fucking then? Or are you past lovers?” Liam said. Zayn’s eyes opened and gave Liam an admiring glance at the dig. Liam returned the look with a wink, arm around his back finally loosening.

Before them, Harry was laughing and Louis was blushing – a rare sight indeed. Zayn knew why, but he was surprised that Liam seemed to know too. Maybe Niall had told him. 

“What’s funny?” Liam asked, pushing onwards, pretending innocence. Harry continued to laugh, and Louis looked torn between embarrassment and the furtive look of a trapped animal. 

“Well, when Louis was fourteen and Harry and Niall and I were thirteen, we went into town with a group from our clan for the celebration of the Mother and to pay our respects. There were all sorts of performers there, including-”

“Shut up! You shut up and stop right there, Zayn,” Louis shouted. 

“Aww, but I like this story. Let him tell it! Or do you want me to?” Harry said, grinning with all his teeth. “I’ll be sure to add in all the, ah, little known details.” 

Louis’ red face seemed to increase in pigment at the suggestion, and he shot Harry an annoyed look. 

“You would, wouldn’t you. Well, I don’t need to be here for this,” Louis said, turning sharply to storm off. Harry caught him before he could get far and they struggled. “Harry! You let me go right now or I’ll-“

“Can’t handle a little teasing, Lou? You can throw it around but you can’t catch it?” Zayn said, enjoying himself now. Louis turned to him in outrage. 

“You know I can! I just. I just remembered somewhere I have to be, is all,” Louis said, looking shifty, face still a nice puce. 

“I’m sure it can wait,” Harry said, wrapping his long limbs around Louis and holding tight light a limpet. Louis made a murderous noise but didn’t struggle further. 

“Well, get on with it then. Places to be, things to do,” Louis said, looking down. His foot was tapping the ground impatiently and his jaw was clenched. 

“As I was saying,” Zayn drawled, leaning more of his weight onto Liam as he settled in for his tale. Liam took his weight obligingly, smiling at him a little as he looked at Zayn. Zayn caught sight of that pink mouth and thought about how he had kissed it but a moment ago, and completely lost track of the conversation. “Um,” he said. 

Luckily for Zayn, Harry loved this story even more than he loved taking the piss out of Zayn, and he happily continued where Zayn had trailed off. 

“There were all sorts of stalls set up, and we pretty much had free rein to go where we wanted. Trisha was tied up in all sorts of clan business, as were most of the adults, so there was no one to mind our comings and goings. 

“We looked around for ages. And Louis here, well, he was especially interested in the fortune tellers. Wanted to know if his name was going to be famous, you know how it is when you’re fourteen,” Harry said. 

“Or any age, when you’re Louis,” Zayn added. Louis gave him a quick look that promised vengeance, but Zayn just smiled at him. 

“Right, right. Well, you see, Louis had played a prank on our Zayn here a couple weeks before and made him look like a fool in front of a delegation from another tribe. And Zayn, our Zayn, he forgets nothing. He just plots. So when he saw the fortune tellers, he had a wonderful terrible idea,” Harry said. 

“And what was that?” Liam said, playing his part of avid listener very well. 

“He would pay the fortune teller to convince him that he was madly in love with someone he had never been attracted to. Someone he had seen puke and shit and fart for years. Like his best friend Harry perhaps,” Harry said, rubbing his cheek along Louis’ head. Louis growled. 

“So I slipped her some extra coin, told Harry and Niall my plan, and convinced Louis he should try her out,” Zayn said, feeling the edges of a laugh bubble in his chest. 

“Oh?” Liam asked. 

“He came out looking like he’d seen a ghost, all white-faced and flinching. When Harry asked him how it went, I thought he was going to wet himself,” Zayn said, laugh freeing itself as he remembered. 

“Ha ha,” Louis grumped. 

“But that was only the beginning,” Harry started again. “Our Louis was a more stubborn chap than we thought. He steeled himself to the idea and pursued me like I was the object of all his fantasies. Nevermind that Eleanor had been holding that position since he knew what his dick was for.”

“Leave her out of it,” Louis said.

“Fine, fine, you baby. Anyways, he started getting more and more forward, trying to make it work, following the fortune-tellers lies to make his dreams come true. After all, dreams can only come true when you find that one true love,” Harry said, batting his eyelashes at Louis dopily. Louis snapped a hand out and twisted Harry’s left nipple sharply, making Harry yowl like a scalded cat. Zayn coughed. 

“So after a week of trying to find Harry attractive and not understanding why he wasn’t, Louis decided to go for gold and see if fucking Harry would make things align for him, regardless of the fact that he’d never had sex before. He stripped himself down and climbed into bed with Harry while he slept one night to seduce him-“

“Fright of my life, waking up to that,” Harry said, rubbing his wounded nipple and watching Louis’ clever hands from a wary distance. 

“And then he woke Harry gently-“ Zayn said, making Harry snort. 

“He woke me by taking a death grip on my cock, is what Zayn means to say. And then I cracked and told him everything, if only to get him to let go of my poor cock,” Harry said, reaching down to cup himself lovingly. “There there,” he said to it, giving it a squeeze before returning his hands to his sides. Zayn laughed. 

“What? It doesn’t like to remember that. Dark times, those,” Harry said. 

“Right. Because you were definitely the worse off in that scenario. I had to force myself to touch your dirty cock! Because I was convinced it would make me magically understand that I was in love with you. Because that blasted fortune teller-“ he stopped, huffing as Harry, Zayn, and Liam all began to laugh. “I hate all of you,” he said. 

“That is quite the story. Does Eleanor know about that adventure?” Liam asked, when he had controlled himself a little. Louis’ eyes went wide. 

“What?” Louis asked. This time, Harry caught on and his eyes widened too – though, given his growing grin, his eyes were large for a completely separate reason. 

“Does she know about your first love affair with Harry’s cock?” Liam said. 

There was a telling pause. 

“She doesn’t, does she?” Harry said gleefully. 

“She wasn’t on that trip – and Harry cracked well before we made it back to camp,” Zayn said, wondering how he’d never thought of it before. 

“She doesn’t know! And you assholes aren’t going to tell her either,” Louis said, looking a little desperate around the eyes. 

“Aren’t I?” Harry said slyly. Louis turned on him like a mad vulture, making Harry take a step back. 

“Not if you like having a cock to talk about,” Louis said. 

Luckily for Harry’s cock and Louis’ sanity, the horns chose that moment to echo down into the lake. 

The feast. 

Zayn had almost forgotten. 

It looked like Louis had too, with the way his face changed into encompassing relief. 

“Will you look at that? It’s time to go!” he said, scuttling off like a mouse in a tent full of cats. The three of them remaining took a look at each other and began to laugh again. 

“I can hear you assholes!” Louis shouted down at them as he continued to make progress back to camp. That, if anything, only served to make them laugh louder, Zayn leaning his face into Liam’s shoulder with the force of it, hand going to Liam’s shoulder for support. 

Liam finished laughing before he did, and when he quieted himself at last, Zayn looked up to see Liam watching him, smiling. He looked fond, and something else. Zayn looked back, curious. 

“What?” Zayn asked, smiling back, waiting for the punch-line. 

“He’s probably just thinking of how handsome you are when you laugh, or some other crock,” Harry said from in front of them, sounding bemused. Zayn and Liam turned to him in surprise and he sighed, put upon. “Forgot I was here, didn’t you? Good thing I spoke when you did. Otherwise he’d be telling you all sorts of bullshit to get you to sleep with him. Like how he can’t imagine life without you, or how he when he looks at your face he sees his future.” Harry shrugged. 

“Awfully familiar with those lines, Harry,” Zayn said, suspicious. Harry’s mouth pulled into a lopsided smile. 

“What can I say? I like sex,” Harry said, completely unaffected. Liam snorted and Zayn shook his head. 

“One day a woman really is going to kill you. Or a man, I guess, but you haven’t gone for cock in ages,” Zayn said. 

“You sound entirely too chipper about my impending demise. What a terrible friend,” Harry said woefully. 

The horns sounded again, making Zayn look past Harry and up the hill. 

Right. Time to face the walk back. 

“I put my cane in the woods by the path. Can you fetch it for me?” he said to Liam. Liam nodded, disentangling himself carefully and going to retrieve it. Harry took an entirely unsubtle glance at Liam’s ass as he walked by, face considering. And _Zayn_ was the bad friend, Mother of all. 

“Harry!” he hissed. Harry dropped his perusal, turning back to Zayn with an entirely too guileless face. 

“Just wanted to see what all the fuss was about,” he said. Liam grabbed the cane, but paused by Harry to give him an equally unsubtle once over from head to toe, eyes serious. Zayn gaped as he walked around Harry, looking him up and down. Harry looked torn between preening and being embarrassed, a light blush in his cheeks. 

Finally, Liam stepped away, handing Zayn the cane when he reached him, easy as you please. 

“What the-“

“Just wanted to see what the _fuss_ was about. Seemed like the thing to do,” Liam said. Harry laughed, pleased with the turnabout. 

“Do I need to be checked out too, or should we head up to the feast? If we’re much later my mother is going to send out a search party for us. And then we’ll have to explain that we were late because you two were too busy flirting with one another,” Zayn said. Liam picked up the dropped furs and curled a supportive arm around him once again, making to leave. Harry sighed and turned to go, leading the three of them away from the lake. 

“Jealous?” Liam said, very close to his ear. 

Yes. 

“No,” Zayn said, not looking at him. Liam laughed softly. 

“I didn’t think you needed the extra attention. Given that I am always looking at you,” Liam said. Zayn made an incomprehensible noise. 

“I still don’t know how you say those things so easily,” Zayn said. If his voice was a little strangled, he was going to blame it on the start of their climb. 

“It’s easy. Especially since I’ve realized a few things,” Liam said, shrugging a shoulder. 

“What things?” Zayn asked. 

“Oh, just how when I look into your face I see my future. Or that I can’t imagine my life without you,” he said with a grin, echoing Harry’s words. Zayn frowned. 

“Cheeky,” Zayn said. Liam shrugged again. 

“Yes, but not entirely,” he said. Zayn’s eyes narrowed. 

“Then you are trying to bed me?” he accused. Liam stumbled a little, but caught himself before he could tumble both of them to the ground. 

“Ah, well yes. But that’s not what I was thinking of,” he said, making Zayn flush a little at the reminder of intent. 

“I don’t understand,” Zayn said. 

“It’s easy. I just meant what I said-“

“What’re you two whispering about back there?” Harry said, looking at them over a shoulder as he climbed up the path. Liam groaned. 

“You have terrible timing,” he said. Instead of looking surprised or apologetic, Harry looked delighted at the news. 

“Did I interrupt your big plan to sweep our Zayner off his feet?” he said, grinning.

“Yes,” Liam said emphatically. Zayn shook his head. 

“Is that what you were doing? I couldn’t tell,” he said. Harry laughed and Liam mock-frowned at him. 

“I’ve noticed,” he said, giving Zayn a squeeze. Zayn looked at him to snipe something back, and then immediately embarrassed himself by losing his footing on a raised tree root. Luckily Liam was able to catch him, pulling him closer. 

“Thanks,” Zayn mumbled. 

“You sure you’re up for this? Been a long day for you, and all. Especially-“

“If you say ‘especially because of your injury’, I guarantee I will make you regret it,” Zayn said, looking down at where he was placing his feet so as not to trip again. Liam made a noise of frustration. 

“I just meant that the feast is going to be a long production. You sure you want to sit through all that when you could just as easily go back to our- to the tent for an early sleep,” Liam said rationally. Zayn tried not to let the idea appeal to him too much – he was tired and achy from the afternoon, and his mother would surely understand if he explained. 

But. 

He missed his clan. Missed hearing the news, missed the celebration. And this feast was a send off of warriors – including his mother – to Sevarre for the slavery council. He wanted to be there to wish them good tidings, so that they knew how much he regretted his inability to go. 

And so they wouldn’t think he was pouting in his tent like a child. 

“I’m going,” Zayn said. 

“Okay,” Liam said, nodding to himself. 

“But I wouldn’t mind if we stopped for a moment here, to let me catch my breath,” Zayn admitted honestly, hating the weakness. Liam stopped instantly, calling ahead to tell Harry what they were doing. When Harry made to stay too, Zayn shook his head. 

“Go on ahead, Harry. We’ll be along shortly. And this way you can grab us plates – I’m a little worried about trusting Louis with that responsibility after our foray into his unseemly past. Don’t want him to spit in my erdu,” Zayn said. Disgust and concern flitted over Harry’s features. 

“Might be right about that, Zayn. I’ll head on up and see you there in a moment. Let me take those,” he said, coming forward to grab the furs from Liam before heading off at a loping pace.

Liam and Zayn stood in silence for a moment, watching him go. 

“Why did you kiss me back?” Liam said. Zayn laughed in surprise, not expecting that train of conversation. 

“Just now? Or a couple weeks ago in camp? Or when you bid me farewell for the raid?” Zayn asked, trying to figure out what made Liam think of it. 

Or maybe he was always thinking of it, and had just decided to ask now. 

“All of those times. But especially now,” Liam said. As he did so, the noise of horns fell upon them again. Louder now as they grew closer to the village. 

“We should really-“ Zayn started, thinking of the frown that was likely developing between his mother’s brows at his prolonged absence from their circle. 

“We’ll get there on time, don’t worry. Just tell me,” Liam said.

“Stubborn,” Zayn accused. 

“Zayn,” Liam said back simply. 

“Because you are a good kisser?” he asked more than answered. Liam smiled at him, shaking his head. 

“Thank you, but I doubt that my kissing ability has a lot to do with it. For all we know, old Tom might be a fantastic kisser, but I can’t see you trying him out any time soon,” Liam said, making Zayn’s lip curl in distaste. 

“Ugh, Liam, gross.”

“Zayn,” Liam pushed again. 

“I don’t know? Because I love you and I want you to touch me, I guess. Even when I know I shouldn’t let you because you’re going to break my heart, I still crave you too much to reject your touch,” Zayn said, blushing. He’d never be like Liam, able to say such things without feeling ridiculous. 

But the way Liam was looking at him implied that he was anything but ridiculous.

“Do you trust me?” Liam asked. 

“Yes,” Zayn said. 

“Good. Remember that tonight,” Liam said. 

“What’s happening tonight?” Zayn asked, confused. Liam just smiled and looked away. 

“You’ll see soon enough. Nothing you don’t like, I hope,” Liam said cryptically. 

“What?” Zayn asked again, more forcefully. 

In response, Liam leaned in to kiss him again. Zayn let him, helpless against his touch as usual, and kissed back for a moment before pulling away. 

“It’s not nice to try and distract me from finding out your secrets,” Zayn said, laughing as Liam moved in again to nip at his lips before moving back. His eyes remained on Zayn’s mouth, making Zayn feel hot and changing the feel of the moment entirely. Charging it. 

Zayn stopped laughing.

Liam raised a hand to Zayn’s face, cupping his chin and using his thumb to press Zayn’s bottom lip. Reflexively, Zayn’s tongue darted out, brushing against the digit on its path to wet his lips. Liam pulled away with a shiver. 

“We should go,” Liam said quietly. Zayn nodded, deciding to forget his questions for a moment and not even feeling annoyed that that had probably been Liam’s intention all along. 

After all, it was hard to be annoyed at someone when your subconscious was painting a lurid picture of them on their knees. 

Zayn shook the thought away. Now was not the time. 

Liam started them forwards again and Zayn followed suit obediently, trying not to think of what it would be like not to question each kiss. What it could be like if he could kiss Liam whenever he wanted without thinking about what it meant, what it said about Liam’s feelings for him. 

What it would be like to share a tent not as ambiguous friends-maybe-lovers, but as actual official courters or mates. How, when they woke up wrapped in each other, he could turn around and kiss Liam awake, or take him in his mouth to start the day. Or slide into him and take him, or to let himself be taken. All without wondering if Liam was as invested as he was. 

What an idea. A fantasy. 

A very, very tempting fantasy. 

He spared that invented place one last glance in his mind, remembering how Liam had looked earlier on his knees with his mouth so close to Zayn’s cock as he helped Zayn take off his clothes. He imagined Liam taking his loincloth down as well and taking his cock in his mouth, looking at Zayn as he did so as if there was nowhere else he would rather be. 

“Alright?” Liam asked from beside him. Zayn looked over at him, feeling caught out. 

“I’m fine,” he said, glancing down at that mouth and away, trying not to think of anything at all. 

“You sure? You look a little flushed. Maybe you have a fever,” Liam said, frowning at him. It was then that Zayn’s self-preservation kicked in and he remembered that he wasn’t the only one with secrets.

“I’m fine – it’s probably just the walk. I’d feel better if I knew what you had planned for tonight though,” Zayn said, effectively drawing the conversation away from his daydreaming. It was true in any case. It never sat well with him when Liam kept secrets from him. 

Liam’s eyes shifted from him and down to the ground with a shrug. 

“And I told you that you’ll have to wait and see,” he said. 

“I don’t like surprises,” Zayn said. 

“You’ll like this one,” Liam said. But he seemed less sure about that than before. 

In fact, Zayn noticed as they found themselves at the fenced corral near Niall and Liam’s tent, Liam seemed to be fidgeting a little. Looking, could it be- nervous?

What did Liam have to be nervous about?

“Just remember to trust me, is all. If you trust me, tonight will be perfect,” Liam said, drumming his fingers on Zayn’s side. 

“I trusted you enough to try to learn to swim with you. I think that should tell you how I feel,” Zayn said, trying to be reassuring but unsure what to say without knowing the cause of Liam’s anxiety. Apparently he should not have chosen those words for reassurance, however, as they only served to make Liam wince. 

“Sure. You trusted me and I almost got you killed,” Liam said. “Not really what I was aiming for.”

“Wasn’t your fault, Liam. Let it go,” he said firmly. 

“I’ll let it go if you stop digging for clues,” Liam offered, looking at him sidelong. Zayn gave him a look, but nodded. 

“Fine,” he said. At last they were at the back entrance of Liam’s tent. Liam opened the flap and slipped them inside.

Lily and Niall were waiting for them, playing some game that involved colorful ribbons being tied in Niall’s hair. Zayn coughed to hide his laugh and Niall grinned at him, disinclined to feel shame. 

Lily jumped up and rushed over to them, hugging Zayn. He put his hand on her head, looking at her. 

“I’m sorry Zayn,” she said again, looking like she could fall into tears again at a moment’s provocation. He felt immediately guilty for getting so caught up in Liam and the lads that he took his sweet time in coming up to reassure her. 

“It’s okay, sweet girl. I’m fine,” he said soothingly. Liam stoked a hand down his back in support, probably echoing his feelings of guilt. He let Zayn go to reach for Lily with both hands, picking her up easily and curling her close to his chest, whispering in her ear. Zayn watched them for a beat, feeling such a strong sensation of love that it almost knocked the air from his lungs. 

“Your mother sent a messenger over this way a short time ago. We’re all late, and I guarantee that you are in trouble, chieftan’s son,” Niall told them, beginning to pull the colorful bows from his hair. Feeling petty, Zayn decided not to tell him about the ones he missed on the back of his head. To his side, Lily giggled, and Zayn had no doubt the two of them were enjoying the secret as well. 

“Thank you for watching over Lily,” Zayn said instead. Niall shrugged, getting to his feet. 

“We’re friends, Lily and I. It was no trouble to play with my friend,” he said, giving Lily a wink. She tried to return the gesture and ended up blinking at them instead, eyes scrunched tight for a second. Niall snorted. 

“You’ll get the hang of it soon enough, love,” he said. Liam whispered something into her ear to add to Niall’s pronouncement, and she laughed again. 

“We all ready to go then?” Niall asked. He said it to all of them, but he seemed to be looking at Liam in particular, raising an eyebrow at him for some reason. Liam nodded at him and Niall grinned. “Good. Then let’s go! If there’s no good food left because you tossers made us late, then Lily and I are going to be very upset, aren’t we sweetheart?” he asked her. She nodded agreeably. 

“Then we’d better go. After you two,” Zayn said, ushering Liam and Lily out ahead. 

“But you-“

“Niall and I can hobble together to make up the rear. Maybe we’ll look so pathetic that my mother will take pity and not skin me alive for holding up the ceremony,” he said, only half joking. 

“Alright,” Liam said, looking skeptical. “Just holler if you want a hand.” 

“Oh Liam. If Zayn did that, then he’d be hollering all the time. What would the neighbors think of all that hollering?” Niall said with a grin. Liam laughed and shook his head when Zayn hissed in embarrassment. 

“Niall!” 

Liam walked off ahead, still laughing, and Zayn gave his friend a weak shove, still mindful of his friend’s bad leg even when he felt his skin was apt to burn off in embarrassment. 

“S’true, isn’t it?” Niall said. 

“Not the point, Niall,” Zayn said. He started to walk forward, leaning heavily on his cane. Niall grabbed his own cane and caught up to him quickly. 

They walked easily in silence for a moment, Zayn looking ahead the way Liam and Lily spoke to each other so comfortably, as if they really were father and child. 

“Liam probably wouldn’t want me to tell you this, but he bought the tent off of me,” Niall said.

“He did what? Why?” Zayn felt his heart quicken. Why would Liam want a tent of his own?

A small, traitorous and fearful part of his mind wondered if Liam was still planning to leave after all this time. If he thought it would be easier without someone else being in the tent with him. 

But Niall had been out of the tent for weeks now. The only thing stopping him would have been Zayn, an invalid. 

The thought didn’t sit right and he brushed it away like a horse with a fly on her flank. 

“Told me he wanted a tent of his own, and that mine was already established with the corral. Said he liked living with me, but that he thought he might need the space soon,” Niall said. Space? Space for what? Did Liam want to expand his shop? 

“What did you say? You’ve been in that tent for years,” Zayn asked. 

“I said yes, of course. He needs the corral, and my peace of mind could use a break from those foul beasts being so close by,” he said easily. 

“You won’t miss it?” he asked, surprised. 

“Sure. But it’s just a house, and I want to see what Liam is going to do with it. Besides, if he’s going to stay here for a long time, he’s going to need a place to stay,” Niall said. He said it so easily, as if it were nothing. Zayn wished his feelings about it were so light. 

“But where will you go?” Zayn asked. Niall laughed. 

“You say that as if I have no other options. Liam offered to build me a new one, or I can stay with Greg longer. He’s a little overwhelmed with the baby, and I’m sure it couldn’t hurt to have a second set of hands around the place, even with this shitty leg of mine,” he said ruefully, making Zayn frown. Catching the expression, Niall waved away his concern.

“Don’t you worry about me. I’ll be fine. I’m alive, aren’t I? And besides, maybe I’ll get lucky and Demi will finally make an honest man out of me and let me live in her tent,” he said with a wink. Zayn snorted. The last time he had checked, Demi had seemed pretty content without being tied down, so to speak. 

“Right,” Zayn said. 

“Don’t you laugh at my love life, Zayner. Not until you and Liam are settled in that tent of mine with a mating band on your arm,” Niall said, making Zayn choke.

“He’s not-“ Zayn said. 

“Oh, I’d stop that and just admit that he _is_. Bought a ruddy tent. Didn’t do that to stick around for me or Harry or Louis. Bought that thing for you. Don’t tell me for a second that you believe anything different. He’s gone for you,” Niall said. Zayn looked away, not wanting to hear it, not wanting to be tempted again by that fantasy world he had tripped through earlier. 

It wasn’t real. 

“Whatever you say, Niall,” he said, not willing to fight. Niall sighed. 

“Just wait and see, eh? And keep your mind open tonight,” Niall said. Zayn shot him a look.

“What did Liam tell you? He was being weird about tonight, asking if I trusted him,” Zayn asked. 

“Not for me to say. Just- well, when the time comes, remember that I told you to not believe the worst for once, okay?” Niall said imploringly. 

“You’re worrying me,” Zayn said, more concerned than ever. Niall was rarely so serious. 

“Sorry. I’m just blathering on. Don’t listen to me. Everything will be fine. And look! There’s my feast table. And there’s Harry with Louis and Eleanor. Looks like they have plates for us,” Niall said, taking his chance for escape. Liam and Lily waited for him to catch up before joining their friends. 

“You alright?” Liam asked quietly before they reached the others. “You look upset.”

“Just wondering why everyone around me is giving cryptic messages today,” he said, giving Liam a meaningful look. Liam bit his lip. 

“Did Niall say something to you?” he asked. Zayn nodded. Before Liam could ask further, a plate of food was thrust into each of their hands. They each took one, Liam easing Lily down to the ground to take her own plate. They all said their thanks and Zayn dug in immediately, finding himself to be ravenous despite the curl of worry in his stomach. 

“Zayn!” a voice called through the cajoling around the food. His shoulders hunched. He knew that voice. 

“Guess your mother noticed you trying to sneak in,” Harry said around a mouthful of bread.

“I should go – the faster I go over the less angry she’ll probably be,” Zayn said. “Wish me luck.”

His friends gave him various good tidings, except for Louis who was still annoyed from earlier. Liam caught him by the arm before he could leave, reeling him in to kiss him on the cheek before releasing him. 

“Good luck. Don’t forget what I told you,” Liam said. Zayn pulled away.

“I wish you’d just tell me what you’re so worried I’m going to do,” he complained. 

“Not yet,” Liam said, reaching out again to touch Zayn’s cheek. Behind them, someone – probably Louis – made a retching sound. And then-

“Zayn!” He winced. His mother sounded more annoyed by the minute. 

“Better go,” Liam said. Lily waved goodbye from where she stood, cheeks full of something or other. 

“See you later,” he said to the pair of them, beginning the process of walking to his mother with a plate and a cane. 

“Trust me!” Liam called after him. Zayn looked back once, stomach turning at the return of that nervous expression on Liam’s face. Just what was he planning? 

He quickened his pace as much as he could until his mother caught sight of him from her seat. She rose quickly, taking the plate and his arm to help him over to his seat by her side, despite his protestations. He could see his father with his sisters off behind her chair a ways, preparing the paint. They had probably eaten already while Zayn was missing.

Once he was settled and had offered his mother his respects, she turned on him with an expectant look.

“Well? Any reason why you were nowhere to be found most of the day and late to the feast? I don’t like having to delay the feast, especially not for my child. It sets a bad example,” she said. 

“You should have started without me. I would have caught up,” he said, feeling guilty. 

“This is the first feast that you have been well enough to attend since the attack on the clan and you think that I’m just going to start without you?” she asked, incredulous. 

“I guess not,” he mumbled, looking away. As they often did, his eyes caught Liam’s. His friend was still looking at him, face crumpled in a worried expression. He brightened when he saw Zayn looking, and Zayn smiled before turning back to his mother. She was looking awfully calculating. 

“Did you lose track of time enjoying Liam?” she asked bluntly. Zayn had just picked up a leg of meat and at her words he dropped it back onto his plate, looking up at her with a horrified expression. 

“Mother!” he said. He did _not_ want to speak of bedding Liam with her. Not that any bedding had actually occurred. He didn’t even want to talk about hypothetical bedding with her. 

“Just a question, Zayn. It would explain why you were late and why he keeps staring at you as if you are going to take flight as soon as he looks away,” she said. Zayn looked around and, true to her words, Liam was still looking at him. He didn’t notice Zayn looking back, obviously thinking about something. 

“I was just by the lake with Sawda and he found me there. Then we spent some time together in the water with Lily and made our way up afterwards,” he said. He had no desire to go into his near-drowning with her. It would only make her worry, and she would likely get protective of him and angry with Liam. 

“I see. So you _were_ caught up with Liam, just not in pleasing yourself with Liam,” she said. He felt his ears become crimson. 

“Stop saying that!” he begged. She smiled, enjoying his discomfort. 

“Fine. More than I really want to know anyways,” she said. “Don’t make it a habit, Zayn. You’re expected to be at my side with your sisters and your father. We are a solid unit, and the clan appreciates seeing you well and ready to participate in the feast. 

“And besides. I am leaving tomorrow for weeks. I’d like the chance to see my son for a little while before I go,” she said. She ran a hand over his hair, cupping one cheek and squeezing slightly before letting him go. “You look well. And I am thankful of that boy of yours for getting you that way.” He ducked his head, nodding. 

“Liam and Lily have been taking good care of me,” he said. 

“Indeed. But when I’m away, spend some time with your sisters. They need their brother too,” she said. He felt bad immediately – he had not been spending much time with his family of late, too involved in his new life with Liam and how things were progressing. 

“I will. Sorry,” he said. She nodded. 

“It’s alright Zayn. Go ahead and finish your supper. We’ll talk later,” she said, dismissing him. He nodded into his food, happy to do just that. 

Before too long, though, it was time to put away his dish and participate in the painting ceremony. He and Doniya performed it as partners, as they had gotten accustomed to doing. He tried not to watch Liam and Lily across the circle, but that was partly because Liam seemed to be staring at him again and it made him nervous to find himself the object of such close scrutiny. What was wrong? What could make Liam look like that?

When the painting was finished, his mother hushed the crowd, and Zayn returned his attention to her. 

“Good evening, clansmen. I hope you enjoyed your suppers. I am happy to see you all before me, and it saddens me that soon I will be leaving you again to find retribution for those taken from us. 

“I will find a solution in Sevarre, and we will go on with our lives as an even stronger clan than before. Before we go further in our celebration, I think it would be fitting to take a moment to say our prayers to the Mother for swift justice,” she said. She paused, allowing silence to fill the circle. She waited a couple moments, letting people think and pray and grieve, before moving on. 

“Tonight’s feast is important for many reasons, not the least of which because my son Zayn is amongst us again, mostly healed from his injury,” she said proudly. His clan cheered their appreciation, Harry and Louis loudest of all. Zayn smiled and gave a small wave, feeling on the verge of ridiculous, and ducked his head.

“And with that, I will ask as I always do – do any wish to come forward with claims of courtship or mating?” she asked. 

“I have a claim!” a clear voice called into the ensuing silence. 

Zayn froze. He knew that voice almost as well as he knew his mother’s, even if he had known its timbres for a fraction of the time that he had known hers. 

“Stand and make your claim,” his mother said.

“I make a mating claim for Zayn,” Liam said evenly, coming to his feet at the edge of the circle. 

No. 

Liam couldn’t possibly want this. 

What was he _doing_?

Zayn looked up at Liam’s face. He looked nervous and as stubborn as he ever had, set in his decision. Zayn’s heart began to beat in triple time as he tried to understand. 

This must have been what Liam had been planning all day. Why he had been so strange in the past hour especially. 

Because he was giving up his freedom for Zayn. 

Zayn pulled himself shakily to his feet and grabbed his cane, breathing deeply and quickly. His mother looked at him in concern and Liam must have read something on his face for he started to walk forward, looking more worried than ever. 

“Zayn, wait-“

“I need to. I need to go,” he said, and walked out of the circle and into the evening light as fast as he could. 

He heard Liam start to run after him and be stopped by his mother. He heard the sounds of a struggle, but he did not stop to see what had happened, he just kept moving forward. 

“I told you to trust me!” Liam called after him. That, out of everything, made him stop. 

What did he mean? Trust him for what? 

Taking a gulping breath, he turned around. 

Liam stood struggling with Zayn’s mother and her guards, looking more upset than Zayn had ever seen him. Despite its rapid beating, Zayn’s heart took a moment to twinge at the sight. 

“You can let him go. It’s fine,” Zayn’s mouth said without any real consensus from his brain. His mother looked at him sharply, but then gave the command with a flick of her hand and Liam was standing unencumbered once again. Zayn turned away again, walking out towards the opposite end of camp from where Niall- Liam’s tent was situated. After a beat, he heard the sound of conversation returning, and then a set of footsteps following close behind him until Liam was at his shoulder and taking his hand. Zayn tried to pull away, but Liam held on, stubborn, and wheeled around to face him. Gods but he looked sad. 

“Why did you not accept my claim?” Liam said, hand holding tightly to his. Zayn thought about the best way to express his feelings, and Liam let him take his time even as those brown eyes watched him closely. 

“I’ll not be another person that holds your chains, Liam,” Zayn said, forcing the words out. Liam sucked in a sharp breath, clearly not expecting that. 

“I don’t know what you mean,” Liam said. Zayn pulled away gently to rub at his face, trying to figure out how he had gotten to this place where he was fighting Liam’s attentions instead of soaking in them. 

“You’re offering a claim because you know it’s what I want, even if it’s not what you want. I can’t have you resent me for this if I accept you,” Zayn said, struggling to make sense. “I’ll not confine you to a life you don’t want because you think it will please me. I wont.”

“I told you to trust me,” Liam said, looking at him intently. Zayn’s hand flew up in agitation. 

“I do trust you! I don’t know what you mean when you keep saying that,” he said. Liam took his flailing hand in his, and kissed it, closing his eyes. 

“I told you to trust me because I wanted you to trust that I know my own mind, Zayn. I would never put myself in a position where I felt trapped. 

“Zayn. I’m in love with you,” Liam said, opening his eyes. Zayn’s heart, which had just begun to beat more evenly, jumped like a jackrabbit with those six words. 

“What?” he croaked. 

“I’m in love with you. I want to be with you as your mate. I want you to be mine, and I want to be yours, whatever that means. What I told you before, when you made the claim for me? I didn’t know that I would grow to feel this way for you then. I was stupid, and I’m so sorry. I’ll never stop being sorry for making you doubt me that night, and doubt my feelings for you every day thereafter,” Liam said, eyes searching his. Whatever he was looking for, Zayn was not sure he’d find it through the shock that Zayn was feeling. 

“You- Liam. You…love me?” he asked. Liam smiled, a tiny, fragile thing. 

“Yes. I don’t find pearls for all of the village clansmen,” he said, leaning in to rest his forehead on Zayn’s. “I don’t know how this could be a surprise. I feel like I show it all over my face when I look at you.” 

“I just. I never expected you to,” Zayn said. Liam made a sound, a small, hurt noise, and pulled Zayn to him. He held Zayn close, wrapping his arms around his back and cupping the back of his head.

“I do. I love you so much. I don’t want to imagine my life without you. I don’t care if we stay here, or if we decide leave someday. As long as you are my home, Zayn, I don’t care to be anywhere but with you,” he said, clutching at Zayn. Zayn dropped his cane, arms rising shakily to grip Liam back, holding him just as tightly. 

“Are you sure?” he asked, feeling Liam’s heart beating quickly, matching the pace of his own. He stroked a hand down Liam’s back, touching his fingers to the bare scars. Liam arched into the touch, encouraging Zayn to continue stroking, so he did, feeling mystified that this was real.

“Please don’t deny me,” Liam said quietly. He sounded so sad still, so worried. 

As if Zayn could ever say anything to that than what he wanted to hear. 

He hushed Liam, kissing him on the ear and then on the mouth when Liam turned his face into the contact. He kept the kiss gentle, despite Liam’s efforts to make it something stronger. He kissed Liam until his friend’s unhappy shaking had calmed itself. 

His mate. 

His. 

Zayn pulled back, smiling too hard for him to keep going. Seeing his smile, Liam returned it tentatively. 

“Liam? Can I ask you something?” he asked. 

“Whatever you want,” Liam said, tugging his fingers through Zayn’s hair and looking fascinated. 

“Why did you wait until now to tell me? Why did you make a claim before telling me?” he asked. Liam, surprisingly, blushed, and dropped his face to Zayn’s shoulder. “Liam?” Liam mumbled something into his shoulder. “Again?”

“I said, I wanted to make a romantic gesture. I didn’t think you’d get so upset. I thought you’d realize that I was in love with you and you’d accept my claim,” he said. Zayn, of all things, found himself laughing. Liam groaned. “It’s not funny. You just about smashed my heart when you walked away from me.”

“I told you I don’t like surprises,” Zayn said, giving him a quick kiss in apology. Liam nodded, rubbing his face into Zayn’s chest and getting paint everywhere. 

“You did. But when I asked Lily and Niall they-“ he stopped, mouth clamming shut like a trap. Zayn let that sink in a moment. Two. Just long enough for Liam to think he had escaped. 

“You talked to Lily and Niall about this?” he asked. Liam groaned again, biting Zayn on the neck in retaliation, and then releasing him at the taste of paint, judging by his expression. “Hmm?”

“I did. Lily had to know because I had to make sure it was okay with her if I made a mating bond with you. And Niall was just too nosy,” he said. “And then, well, we got to talking about how I should do it and they voted for making it a surprise.” Zayn laughed. 

“It’s not funny,” he said again. 

“Yes it is,” Zayn said, looking at him. Liam’s eyes crinkled in a smile, seemingly despite himself. 

“Fine, I guess it is. But only because you’ve accepted my claim now,” Liam said. Hearing it out loud made Zayn become serious again, loving the sound of it. Misunderstanding his quiet, Liam’s face dropped into worry again. “You have accepted it, haven’t you?” he asked. 

“I have, Liam. I have,” he said, looking at Liam again, watching the pleased expression curl its way back onto Liam’s face. Liam leaned in to kiss him again, less hesitant this time, and with more promise. Zayn kissed him back, just as hard, and when he pulled back again, both were panting. Liam leaned in again, as if unable to help himself, and Zayn held him off smiling. 

“What is it? I want you so much,” Liam said, pushing against him to slip a leg between Zayns’ and make him hiss at the contact. Liam rocked his hips, seeking friction and participation, and Zayn’s hips twitched back automatically, an embarrassingly large part of him wanting to take Liam here on the sand, not far from where his entire tribe was gathered. 

But it could wait. It could wait because they would be mated, and then they could do all they wanted at any time. It only felt like it had to be now because it was so new, so important. He took Liam’s hips in hand, and pushed him away gently, kissing the side of his mouth to take away any sting of rejection. 

“Wait. Shhhh, Liam. I want to tell the clan,” he said, separating himself gently. Liam let him this time, standing beside him and curling an arm around his back. 

“Okay. I’m ready,” Liam said. 

“My cane?” Zayn asked. Liam shook his head. 

“We’re leaving that. I don’t want you to run off on me or be out of my sight for at least the next week,” Liam said, sounding serious. And, as he made no reach for it on their way back to the fire, Zayn was inclined to believe him. He swallowed hard, but said nothing and let Liam lead him back to the fire. 

That strong arm around his back was relaxed and easy, and every few steps Liam would bridge the distance between them to kiss his cheek or his mouth quickly to make Zayn smile. 

Before long, they were at the fire again. Noticing their approach from afar, his mother had cued the music to stop and the crowd to fall away. His clan stared at them, looking at the closeness between them, acting curious and nervous. His eyes sought Calum’s and found the other boy staring back, hand gripped tightly to Luke’s in worry. 

Then he found his mother’s face, and his father’s, and his sisters’. And Lily’s and Niall’s and Harry’s and Louis’ and Eleanor’s. They all watched him, expectant. 

“Welcome back to the circle, Zayn and Liam. Would you like to tell us all what is going on?” his mother said sternly. Liam held him tighter to his side, as if his mother might take him back forcefully. 

Not that anything ever again would part him from this man, now that acceptance had been granted. 

“I have decided,” he said. Liam, at his side, was nervous again. He could feel it in the heartbeat pressed to his side. Did he really think that Zayn would refuse him now after all that had been said and decided between them? How could Liam not know how much he was treasured, was desired?

How could Zayn not have seen how much he was cared for, how much Liam loved him enough to fear his lack of love so keenly?

“And what is your decision Zayn? Are you rejecting the claim?” Trisha asked, eyeing them like the concerned parent she was. Liam, for his part, stiffened like a board next to him at the implication. Zayn used the hand slung over Liam’s shoulder to ease him, palm brushing the length of that beautiful naked shoulder. 

Liam looked at him, still so nervous, and Zayn took him in. Took in those eyes that had caught his attention so long ago, and the broad working hands and strong shoulders, the stubborn cut of his jaw and the pink of his mouth. He thought about how much he loved Liam’s convictions, his strength, and the sharpness of his wit.

Liam looked back at him, expectant.

“What is your decision, Zayn?” Liam asked, so worried. Zayn could resist that look no longer and kissed him. As Liam gave way and accepted him, he heard the sound of his clan start again in whispers and shouts. He pulled back after a moment, knowing that more was required. Liam looked happy now, a blush on his face as he held Zayn’s eyes. 

“I accept the mating claim!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you go! Hope it met expectations :). As I mentioned earlier, there's an epilogue coming in the next couple weeks (I hope), and then I'll be finished in this universe but for maybe some one-shots if I have time or need to procrastinate again. 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading - especially those of you that have been following this thing since I first started posting chapters. Much love to you all!


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